Posted: Apr 8, 2011 4:50 pm
One time, when I was selling jeans at the Bugle Boy Factory Outlet, a very pretty girl walked in. I was folding some sweaters, when she looked at me. I got all warm and gooshy inside, and I smiled back. We looked at each other a few times, then her friend walked into the store. They spoke, then they both looked at me, and giggled, then walked out. I never saw them again. I felt sick, like her friend had just stolen my hope.
It reminded me of that time in fourth grade, and it was Monday, and I was in the lunch line, and I was excited because it was rectangle pizza day, but I got there and the dude in front of me took the last piece, and the lady asked if I wanted an extra roll to make up for it. I was totally shattered, and couldn't even get the word "no" out, because I was so choked up. But then I looked up and saw a laminated poster behind the register, and it was Garfield, and he was hiding under all his covers in his box, and he was thinking "I hate Mondays", and I was all, like, "Boy; I know what you mean!", but I thought how warm Garfield must've been under that blanket, because cats are pretty warm and they have all that fur on them anyway, and he'd probably just stole some lasagna from Jon.
So that made me feel better.