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Goner Message Board / Food & Drink / This is what really happens at a restaraunt...
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 10:23 am
 
Tonight at work: The ice machine broke (not uncommon), the dishwasher broke (sometimes), and the walk-in broke (not fucking cool; ha!). Oh man, it was great. But we got through it. And no one was poisoned (ah, who fucking cares if they were).
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 5:59 pm
 
I love restaurant lingo...

"I had two 10 tops in a 84 hour, one of 'em was kids, and the other geriatric. One kid gets grossed out and hurls, so all the other kids did too and ruined the new table tents. And the old fuckers left me a fiver for all the puke and their mess. Come smoke with me in the back..."
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 7:15 pm
 
And all the interpersonal politics, like avoiding conversations with hippie cooks or manipulating the host(ess) for better tables or sabotaging CD players due to a dishwasher who blasts nu-metal day and night.
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 7:28 pm
 
"Look, we're dead. Smoke another with me and we'll go back out. I'm telling you I fucking hate days when Jim is managing out front. Keep that fucker back in the kitchen on the backline! You know? He always gives Tina section four, you know, Blue. I gotta make some cash off them smokers, too. I think he's fucking her..."
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 7:35 pm
 
"They sat there and had fucking BLT's and WATERS for over an hour and talked about their kids and then they left me two fucking bucks. And meanwhile, Tracy has a four top of roller derby girls who are shitfaced and drinking non stop Bloody Mary's!"
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 7:44 pm
 
"Were you there the night Fried Mushroom Man came in and started banging on the window at his reflection? He was screaming 'What the fuck is wrong with you?' He leaves pretty good tips for a crazy, but I'd rather work graveyard shift, anyway. Those dancers come in in the morning with their sugardaddys. Good money, I'm tellin' you. Fuck. Here comes Jim. I ain't bussin' Tina's section. That's her shit, and if Joey's on break she might as well ask a dishwasher. I mean you'd think she'd do like everybody and buss it her self if she's got turn-over..."
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 8:07 pm
 
germantown cocktails = water with lemon
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 9:04 pm
 
Joey's on break
and i ain't bussing that shit neither
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 9:17 pm
 
"Fuck. Kimya hosted and bussed today, fucking skank. I swear I saw coke caked up in her nostrils this morning. Naturally she did everything half-ass and didn't fill up the ketchups so I stayed late and did it for her...AGAIN. Bitch."
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 9:21 pm
 
"I'll give you five bucks if you marry my mustards."
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 9:33 pm
 
heard
Posted: Jul 21, 2006 4:51 am
 
what place is this?
Posted: Jul 21, 2006 8:24 am
 
White Castle
Posted: Jul 21, 2006 3:33 pm
 
Doesn't matter - this thread is going to give me nightmares.
Posted: Jul 21, 2006 4:03 pm
 
"Fuck you, Jim. I rolled my silverware already, and I'm rolled out. I'm not cleaning the pantry, that's what your backline is for. I've got to go. It's 2:30 in the morning, and I'm supposed to go to a house party. If I don't go now, I'll never be able to wake up to get my kid up for school, and I ain't gonna miss anymore of that party."
Posted: Jul 21, 2006 4:15 pm
 
Did you finish all your sidework?
Posted: Jul 21, 2006 4:16 pm
 
"does anybody have any b.c. powder?"
Posted: Jul 21, 2006 4:26 pm
 
"Look, kid. I know you're new. I just want to give you some advanced warning, 'cause I want you to be good, and I don't want to follow your ass around any more than I have to. Rule number 1: Don't yell at the cooks any more than is absolutely necessary. If you make them mad, expect your eggs to come out five minutes longer than they should. And don't leave your plates sitting there, when they're up. A cook has no problem pushing that order over the edge, when he's rushed."
Posted: Jul 21, 2006 4:46 pm
 
"And WHAT is it with fucking lesbians? I had a four top of them today, just laughing and having a good old time and when I walked up and asked them how they were doing, they went all stoned faced and sour. What the hell did I do? Oh, if I was one of the girls, they'd grin away. On the other hand, the fags are GREAT, better tippers too. Fuck lesbians."
Posted: Jul 21, 2006 11:30 pm
 
"Micheal, can you take that table?"

"What, the Canadians? Man, fuck, it's not worth it. That's your section, dude."

"Yeah, but I'm trying to catch that show, PLUS I worked for you last Sunday and it was deader than a suicide bomber."

"Fine, but now you ME."

"Tell ya what, I'll fuck yer girlfriend for ya, and then she won't leave you."

"Fuck you, go get their drink order and then I'll take it from there."
Posted: Jul 22, 2006 4:09 am
 
if by "canadians" you mean "black people"..............
Posted: Jul 22, 2006 6:06 pm
 
Yes. I hate that term though. Plus, everyone knows what it means now.

I do love referring to table numbers when talking about tables and you can do it right in front of the people. Like, "Fuckin 61 are a bunch of idiots." They don't know if you're talking about them. Keeps 'em on their toes.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 8:19 am
 
Heir ick... where you workin? i'm gonna come visit you at work.... flyin in on wednesday....
Posted: Jul 26, 2006 9:23 am
 
Nah....food's good, but nothing amazing. Clientele annoying, music sucks. If you were a semi-famous actor or a budding yuppie you might dig it. They do make some killer old school drinks you can't really find anywhere, but save yer money..........and buy me a slice.
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 8:03 pm
 
I slipped on the stairs down to the kitchen on Friday and fucked my back up royally. STILL fucking hurts. Deep tissue muscle bruise. Can barely move. Hate life.
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 7:16 am
 
maybe its time for me to bring you that slice?
can you email me? i'm still in brooklyn
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 7:39 pm
 
Yeah, I will. Gotta work tonight. Think I bruised my fucking kidney, it's still killing me.
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