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Goner Message Board / ???? / Myspace bulletin from King Khan
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:16 pm
What do we make of this???

hey this is king khan
i am with jared from the black lips in atlanta... and the us customs will not let BBQ into america, they want to deport him back to brazil???? he had a small bag with sox and tooth brush and absolutely nothing dangerous but his guitar... they detained him. The reason he was detained was because he answered one question wrong... they asked him where he was staying and he said at jared's and they asked him if he knew jared and mark sid no... when they called jared he said he knew mark and therefor Mark lied to a customs official... thats it... anyways now mark can't be allowed back into the usa for FIVE YEARS!!!
the tour is still on and i will play our movie we made in brazil and some great live stuff and we will raise money to help BBQ get out of brazil... i known this man 17 years and he is my blood brother and the war is on!!!!! please come to all the shows... lets raise hell and hellfire and make the biggest stink to save BBQ
we love you all and i spoke to bbq and he did not gett the anal pillage at customs he is in a daRK CELL WAITING FOR JUGDMENT...
death cult WILL RISE...
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:20 pm
Is this a joke? I hope not... That's fucked. I was really looking forward to seeing BOTH of them in Portland.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:22 pm
15 minutes before I got this I sent out a MASSIVE email about the Brooklyn show. I spent about 1/2 hour doin' it up good. I feel like I jynxed the whole death cult plot.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:26 pm
sounds too unfunny to be a joke, but I hope it isn't the truth...
GUYS! Email Martin back about west coast, if I ain't drivin' I'm gonna be a sad, sad boy
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:34 pm
holy fucking crap. Man, that's some messed up stuff. I hope he's ok.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:39 pm
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:40 pm
I'm confused. He said he was staying with Jared and then said he didn't know him?
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:43 pm
I'm pretty sure they've met before, didnt they?
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:44 pm
this can't be real. and if it is, oh my GOD. poor mark!
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:44 pm
I'm confused. He said he was staying with Jared and then said he didn't know him?

That part kinda confused me, too. What the hell?
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:47 pm
I'm confused. He said he was staying with Jared and then said he didn't know him?

That part kinda confused me, too. What the hell?

Yeah, you would think that customs would occasionally run across people that don't speak English well and answer some questions wrong. I hope he can straighten this out...
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:48 pm | Edited by: bazooka joe
Mark talks English good.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:50 pm
Mark talks English good.

Or groggy people or whatever! Just when you think you can't hate this country any more...
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:53 pm
I know this is selfish but...

If I don't get to see the fucking King Khan and BBQ Show on the 11th of November I'm fucking gonna never do anything again ever! FUCK!
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:55 pm
I think we were all thinking it, Joe...
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:56 pm
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:56 pm
Mark you are stupid stupid man!
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 7:57 pm

Posted: Oct 24, 2005 8:05 pm
Alix. Call Jared and see how much crack they've been smoking this morning. And make sure you report ONLY good news.

Seems too extreme to be real -- but then again I've never traveled abroad.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 8:19 pm
You're a broad.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 8:23 pm
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 8:30 pm
Ofcourse he can always come back to Europe
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 8:34 pm
Wow Joe, I was having a shitty day... now it's shittier. This was the one show Iwas actually going to attend this year.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 8:38 pm
Last I talked to 'em, Blacksnake was going to talk to the Canadian embassy in Atlanta. Hopefully they can straighten this out for Mark. Really, it's their only shot at him getting into the country or even continuing on to Montreal (where his ticket destination is).

Hope for the best- anyone with pull at customs/embassies? Pull.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 8:41 pm
Blame this one on Bush.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 8:42 pm
There's gotta be more to it than "I don't know Jared"/ "Yeah, I know Mark."

What fuckin' happenned?
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 8:49 pm | Edited by: dale
Trust me, they're fucking dicks at Customs over the most simplest of things.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 8:57 pm
I hope it works out for him. wait a minute! didn't the same thing happen to Cat Stevens?
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 8:57 pm
Fucking hell, then there's some truth to this? Fucking idiot-systems in place.

I'm just gonna hope for the VERY best here and that BBQ is well and comfortable.

Well, Eric, since KK doesn't post on here, please let us know if there is anyway any of us can help. Ok?? FUCK!
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:06 pm
To overstate the obvious: This fucking sucks. BBQ/King Khan can't tour the U.S. again, but every other shitty group from South America or Sweden or Whereverthefuckland has no problem getting over here and skipping around the country. Someone point me in the direction of something with a face that I can scream in.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:08 pm
O.k... I'll sacrifice and take Bbq's place. Deport me to Brazil and let BBQ stay.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:11 pm
That's sweet. Except I'm sure they could probably get YOU 'with' something.....kidding! xo!
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:14 pm
hey eric o:

a friend of mine might know someone that could possibly help (he worked in t. kennedy's office, still knows some folks from there, apparently one of which has dealt with stuff like this often, etc). no promises obviously, but i'd imagine anything's worth a shot.

if you wanna shoot me an email at thetampoffs at yahoo dot com with any sort of details you know (name, case number, etc., essentially any details that'd make it easier for her so when my friend calls her she doesn't say "fuck you" right off the bat) to me, i'll forward it onto him if you think it'd help.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:15 pm
Goddamn. There is nothing more nerve-wracking than sitting on the other side of customs waiting for a band to get in from overseas. I've eaten more nails in that situation than in any other. Luckily, none of the bands that I've waited for have ever had any problems. My partner in crime Timmy had a band rejected from the country, though...had to cancel their entire tour.

In the last year I've heard of more border problems than ever before. The Japanese band Nightnmare got denied entry to the US. Didn't the same happen with the Japanese noise band (I'm blanking on their name)...though I guess they eventually did get in. If you don't have an absolutely airtight story it's really easy to get fucked by the border.

That sucks.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:17 pm
speaking of "rise above," black flag's "the first four years" is spinning and spinning on my record player.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:19 pm
Well, this sucks most of all for Mark, obviously, so best of luck to him. I took 2 vacation days in order to party appropriately in Green Bay on a Wednesday night and hopefully hit a couple more of these shows down the line (like a Deadhead). Bummer.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:40 pm
i tried to cross the border below vancouver a few weeks ago. our work permits for canada just ran out and we didnt want to repay the work permit cost. so...i had to come up with a story to play the one night in vancouver. i had no choice. i picked what looked like a nice older lady. dont judge a book by the cover. she turned out to be a real bitch. i said i had a photo shoot to get too. she said "whats the name of the band" -- because we had a van/trailer. i told her. she excused herself and googled the band name. she found our vancouver date on the website. i told her that it had been cancelled a few days prior, accordiing to our booking agent. she said "hold on". she called the fuckin club and they said they expected us on stage at 10pm. she hung up the phone and looked really pissed. she said i "lied to her" and under canadian law, she could have me arrested for lying to a candadian official. she also mentioned that she could "ban" each of us for a year - not allowing us to enter canada. i told her that i wasnt lying. she decided not to ban us. but...then ten seconds later, a male border guard asked me for the van keys. i said "for what?, you guys have already denied us entry". he said, "you're on canadian soil, we can do whatever we want". i suppose theywere looking for drugs or something. who knows. we were clean and they sent us on our way. when we got back to the US border, the entire office laughed and made candadian bacon jokes....no lie. it was pretty funny.

the point is...i feel bad for BBQ. in this day and age post-911, its very difficult for bands to cross. if you're one step out of line and dont give them the answer theyre looking for......you're blocked entry. they could care less. the funny thing is that canada and the u.s. are neighboring friendly countries. i dont know why they give bands so much shit.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:45 pm
Someone point me in the direction of something with a face that I can scream in.

there should be a mirror in your bathroom, right?
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:47 pm
Probably because most of Al-Qaeda lives in Canada, or because most Al-Qaedans in the U.S. are very intent on making their way into Canada so they can wreak some heavy havoc on Canadian soil. No, wait. Neither one of those are true, and everyone's a fucking idiot. We all lose. Goodnight, Gracie.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:48 pm
Arman, I'm going to kill your cats.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:49 pm
Clocks got faces. Watches too.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:49 pm
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:50 pm
Dan Burke from the Silver Dollar should become the border ambassador for bands....ha-ha-ha
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:51 pm
Dan offered me Canadian Coke, Canadian H and some pills he called Oxy-MooseCotton......what a strange night
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:52 pm
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:54 pm
Bazooka Joe still rules in my book
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:54 pm
What did I do?
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:57 pm
its what you always do.......

pass the relish for my footlong
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 9:58 pm
You're too old to cut the mustard, but you can still lick the jar!

ba-dum pish!
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 10:00 pm
thanks BJ.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 10:32 pm
GEEZ - I'm away from the board for a few hours & look what happens... Damn. I hate America. Seriously.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 10:32 pm
How come they weren't together anyway?
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 10:43 pm
Customs people are dicks. More importantly, the laws are completely absurd. I nearly got myself banned from the USA when I got asked "Have you ever smoked marijuana?". My answer was "Not in a very long time", which was true if you consider 6 months "a very long time". Fortunately Daneau answered the question properly ("NEVER!") and we got through, but man am I dumb. I forgot that the USofA can ban you from entry for the stupidest things.

Hopefully things will be cleared up and Mark will make it through. Banned from the country for 5 years for something like is? Its retarded.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 10:51 pm
It's gonna make a helluva song.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 11:11 pm
I thought dude was canadian?!? brazil?
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 11:39 pm
Uh, you can be banned from entering Canada with a single DUI on your record. You have to remember you're a pothead on the way into Canada, and a drunk on the way back into the US.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 11:43 pm
Uh, you can be banned from entering Canada with a single DUI on your record.

Yep. You can also be denied entry into the US for having something on as simple as being busted for siphoning gasoline on your record too.
Posted: Oct 24, 2005 11:48 pm
Also, apparently Customs officers have more power than US Marshalls. I've heard it said they can techinally open fire on your ass if they simply don't like your attitude.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 12:06 am
NOOOOOOO!! Damn, my band was on the bill to play with KK&BBQ on the 16th. Good luck getting across that border. Just come thru San Diego. It's cake man...fucking, cake.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 12:08 am
"open fire on your ass if they simply don't like your attitude."

Dont all cops do this?
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 3:40 am
i am back!! in montreal, that is... the whole episode was ultra-fascist. someone transcribe my mtspace post, if possible, and i'll write details of the whole debacle tomorrow. after 1o hours of being detained, i'm tired.
of course i know jared. those dudes were pig fucks.
but i WILL play. fuck jocks.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 3:43 am
oh, and i am more hate-fuelled than ever.
someone will pay with their life.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 3:56 am
dude, i hope you're ok, and i'm sorry you had to deal with the american dream. Thank god you're back in Canada.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 4:31 am
(from bbq and king khan myspace)
BBQ Speaks!
Body: yo!
i'm back in montreal. the TRUTH of this story is as follows:
(as heard from a security dude later on) the border was slow, so therefore i was the guinea pig.
he said things like 'how do we know you aren't a terrorist or have drugs in your stomach?'
as soon as i got there, they looked at my passport and deemed that there were too many stamps - suspicious
i told them i knew jared. they called him and wouldn't let me speak. the dude said to me: 'you know, we'll catch you both lying. we can easily pick him up. it's a felony - jail time.'
he tried to get jared to lie. he didn't. i told the guy i met jared last year in atlanta. he asked how we communicated. i said phone and email. he wanted me to show him my emails. i said that was my private business. this fact became the root of the argument. i am not so stupid as to say i never met jared. he insisted i show him my emails. asshole. so much for rights.
they had no intention of letting me in - they had no idea i even had a guitar.
fuck jarhead jock closet-case pigs.
but i am fine. and i WILL play shows somehow. fuck the border.
LONG LIVE ROCK'N'ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 4:47 am
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 5:20 am
anyone driving to the rockenin or horrible fest from nyc?
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 5:22 am
good to hear that the customs gestapo did not make BBQ disappear into the jails where they can hold suspected 'threats' for years with no legal representation and no charges ever brought against you.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 5:23 am
i figure if i can get to nyc, i might bus it to meet up on the tour somewhere... anyone know any good chinatown busses heading westward??? i'm gonna sort this shit out and the kk &bbq show will destroy your ass. my hate level is at an all-time high. kk is practicing all sorts of macumba and candomble business and the death cult is in full swing. i smell the apocalypse and it smells delicious.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 5:30 am
more reason to hate people even more. That fucking sucks Mark, hope to see you guys in Memphis AND K-z00 in Nov more than welcome to stay at CVBV's new and improved apt..!!! we now have a ceiling!!!

Love the 306 Posse..!
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 5:33 am
ok this US of A go round food,booze, girls all free Mark
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 5:44 am
Mark -- or anyone who talks to him -- I just got to LA. My family is full of lawyers. Please call me! 646-299-0741
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 9:10 am
is this death cult or southern death cult?
it makes a difference from what i hear.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 9:19 am
yeah-what exactly is the death cult?
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 9:19 am
and where do i sign up?
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 1:30 pm
There is an NYC to Pittsburgh Chinatown bus, and we have a new van for Horrible Fest. You could come with us. I will look into more info.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 1:54 pm
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 3:23 pm
is this death cult or southern death cult?
it makes a difference from what i hear.

It's "Docking With The Death Cult" and thanks god it's on!

Posted: Oct 25, 2005 5:14 pm
100% Ian Astbury free!
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 5:18 pm
You're an ass berry
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 5:26 pm | Edited by: marksultan
the customs people also:
fingerprinted and photographed me
wouldn't allow me to make phone calls, eat or have water for 10 hours while they joked and shit.
defaced the only part of my passport that you ain't supposed to with written 'codes', so now I am forced to get another
ya, they were threatening to send me back to brazil and shit, but it was sooo young, hot-shot jarhead cop bullshit that i argued it away - but i was told they were doing me 'a big favour'
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 5:32 pm
ok this US of A go round food,booze, girls all free Mark

Posted: Oct 25, 2005 6:12 pm
Mark. Are you Brazilian? Is that why [among other why-not-fuck-with-this-guy-for-no-good-reason reasons] they were trying to detain you 'in' Brazil?
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 6:20 pm
i believe it's sop to send you back whence you came if you're not allowed into the country. i also believe a brazilian tour was just finishing, but i could be wrong.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 6:24 pm
mark and Blacksnake were in Brazil on tour. They're Canadian. and Gypsies.

Glad you're free, fucking bastards. Doomsday poptarts indeed.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 6:40 pm
I know they were in Brazil and they're Canadian, ya goobers. Born of what what blood and country, for Mark-Y Mark is the question. Khan is a brown-skinned Indian Death-Cult beauty.
Posted: Oct 25, 2005 7:12 pm
Mark can proudly list the Vatican as his country of birth on all employment applications.
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 12:24 am
Man! I'm glad to hear Mark made it back to MTL. If you need help getting across the border, I'd talk to Dan Burke. He recently redirected the Zoobombs across the border in Buffalo after a failed border crossing in Champlain NY (MUCH further East)
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 12:31 am
Man, I just got back to the US of A last night. London to Amsterdam to Houston. Three customs checks, no problems. Thank god I didn't read this thread before I left or I prob'ly woulda jinxed my re-entry.

Shit, they didn't even look twice at the bottle of absinthe I bought in Berlin - 35% wormwood! Can't wait to mix it with some corn whiskey.

Mark, that truly sucks. Makes me feel lucky.
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 1:39 am | Edited by: eric o
head west, young man!

(originally posted as head west live.)
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 1:42 am
if mark's airplane ticket didn't continue to Montreal, he'd be eating Brazilian bug-burgers right now. so thank goodness for that. everyone in our gonerground railroad will help get him to where he needs to go- provided he can come over to "our side."

watch the louie tv stuff for strength, and do whatever it takes.
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 2:46 am
Whatchoo got against Brazilian bug burgers? Damn, stuck up... Gonerground Railroad has already been chug-chug-chuggin' along on the Northeast end. The Thing With Two Heads has already got the ball rollin' so y'all can get you some serioulsy kick ass barbecue. We wouldn't want you freaks to starve, ya know???
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 2:51 am
i'm gonna drunk call you bazooka joe
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 4:37 am
I just got your email. Sorry I had to hang up when you called but we just put Land Of The Dead in, and I'm sure I was more drunker than you when you called. One pint of JD ain't no joke!
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 4:52 am
are you still drunk? i mellowed out my buzz w/ coca cola and a jalapeno jack cheese sandwich; cheese courtesy of your pal robin, downstairs. hope your ears were burning, because we were talkin bout you
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 9:12 am
I was offboard for a week so i just saw this! WHAT A FUCKING OUTRAGE!!!!!! I'm too disgusted for words.

Best of luck getting over here, Mark...
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 1:29 pm
Ha! I got Theresa's phone number now.
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 3:08 pm
She's usually up about 4 am. Give her a buzzzzzz
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 6:21 pm
Y'know...Making anti-US sentiments and giving the details of the shit ya had to go through at customs on a public message board that can easily be googled may not be wise if your trying to figure out how to get back across the border a few days later. I'm just saying...
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 9:03 pm
There's no anti-US sentiments here, just anti-dickhead custom officials in Brazil. We all love america!
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 10:32 pm
i don't think i was making anti-american remarks, and i certainly wouldn't be taking a 40 hour bus ride if i hated your country.
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 11:02 pm
so are you gonna make it to the rockening?
Posted: Oct 26, 2005 11:04 pm
MARK.... you don't have to take a 40 hour bus ride dude. CALL ME or email me immeidately!!!
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 1:35 am
Anti-American was strong.Ya know me Mark...Just out to misunderstand ya (insert some retarded emotican here).
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 3:53 am
Maybew if BBQ wouldve gotten some tacos it all woudlve been better.
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 4:00 am
blame dale
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 4:44 am
dude, are you actually getting in my face again? let it sleep. i'm taking 40 hours of bus to play shows, i really don't need smarm. seriously, i am consumed by hatred right now. let's do it face to face, motherfucker.
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 4:52 am
i'm calling you out, tkrichards. i will literally eat you alive. enough is enough.
dale - i understand. no bad vibes meant. beer is still on in kzoo.
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 1:35 pm
It's cool. Isn't the Kzoo show on a Monday? I gotta see what I can situate (it's a 3 hour drive one way) but yeah...I'm gonna try to make it out that way for it.
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 1:52 pm
oh yeah....blame me.

Off to work now.
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 3:30 pm
Does anyone know if Mark is gonna make it to the Atlanta
show on Friday 10/28?
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 3:33 pm
Craig, I have information you want and I'll email it to you.
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 3:34 pm
Um, I guess I'll need the address though.
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 4:29 pm
thanks - address is cmoblee@yahoo.com
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 5:33 pm
dale-kzoo on sunday. i supply green peace
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 6:45 pm
I found out some info on that chinatown express bus from nyc if still needed.
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 7:36 pm
Okay...I thought it was a Sunday originally but I believe it was you Jr that told me it was a Monday (we were pretty baked by then either way). That might make it a little easier...Now I just gotta make sure there are no other plans on this end.
Posted: Oct 27, 2005 9:44 pm
I understand what Dale was saying. Ya gotta remember that what WE might consider anti-American sentiment and what a US Coustoms official might consider anti-American sentiment are probably two different things. Be careful out there Mark. For possibly the first time ever Memphis is badly in need of some BBQ.
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