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Goner Message Board / ???? / Another list post...Who would you kill?
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 4:07 pm
 
5 people you would kill if you knew you could get away with it....Or more. Besides the entire living members of the bush clan.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 4:27 pm
 
Besides the entire living members of the bush clan.

Then what's the point? I'd say dubya.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 4:36 pm
 
Not that I'm gonna tell what to say or think, but making a threat against the Pres. is a federal crime. Who knows what "Homeland Security" is lookin' at. probbly' not this, but it is the "internets" and I'd hate to see anyone get in trouble.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 4:49 pm
 
I'm pretty sure I recall Mr Lastname saying he was gonna chop Dubya's head off.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 4:55 pm
 
I'm pretty sure I recall Mr Lastname saying he was gonna chop Dubya's head off.
who you werkin' for Bazooka! You keepin tabs!!!!
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 5:29 pm
 
god
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 5:39 pm
 
thats a federal crime in your country!!?!?!?

ouch!
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 5:48 pm
 
Tyra Banks...someone please put her out of her contrived misery. Cory B. Trotze. Or just punch him really hard in the mouth.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 5:58 pm
 
DO NOT KILL TYRA BANKS!!!
Allow her to live out her life only to realize that when she gets to be roughly 65 that she is no longer a 'beauty' and will die a long slow miserable un-fierce death from the humiliation of watching herself in syndication from a botox cacoon. At which time the 2 queens she sits between will commit suicide by choking on their own dicks.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 6:15 pm
 
Matthew--

That was so priceless I am stunned. FIERCE!
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 6:16 pm
 
I'd maybe kill Sarah Jessica Parker. I can't figure out why she grates on my nerves so badly. But my skin crawls everytime I see her big horsehead on that emaciated size 00 body.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 6:18 pm
 
definetly hurt justin timblake
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 6:28 pm
 
USHER- PLEASE!!! DIE IN A PLANE CRASH, A CRASH WITH LOTS OF HELL-LIKE FIRE AND MISERY!
USHER HAS GOT KILLER DANCE MOVES! WHOOOooo!
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 6:34 pm | Edited by: Uptight White
 
I'd maybe kill Sarah Jessica Parker

Somebody needs to let that butterface know her 15 minutes is up.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 6:35 pm
 
Not that I'm gonna tell what to say or think, but making a threat against the Pres. is a federal crime. Who knows what "Homeland Security" is lookin' at. probbly' not this, but it is the "internets" and I'd hate to see anyone get in trouble.

You are correct. I did think about that after I posted it. I am making sure not to send this thread to the Secret Service. Besides, I would hope they would know the difference between sarcasm and an actual threat. Also his name really isn't dubya, so that would be my defense. So much for freedom of speech, huh?

I hope you guys can help me when they put me in Guantanamo Bay and start torturing me! Bust me out, please!

How bout Britney and Kevin?
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 6:50 pm
 

Somebody needs to let that butterface know her 15 minutes is up.


tell her to quit wearing everything at the same time, while you're at it.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 7:20 pm
 
If only Bush went to the theater someone could pull a John Wilkes Boothe and give everyone a surprise happy ending.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 8:07 pm
 
Thanks, fiercedrunk.
Felt good to get that off my chest.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 8:10 pm | Edited by: fierydrunk
 
tell her to quit wearing everything at the same time, while you're at it.

Maybe that, her big head/teeny body and her insistance at pimping herself as a "fashion icon" are the main reasons why I wouldn't mind her dying a really quick death. However, I bet she remains on the pages of Vogue, in Gap ads et al for many years to come. She has a new perfume called "Sarah Jessica Parker LOVELY" now.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 8:16 pm
 
I resent the fact that you think I have a 'horse head'. I prefer to have it called 'traffic cone'. fuck you very much. As for my wardrobe, you probably can't even afford the toilet paper I use. Now where's my cell phone....
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 8:17 pm
 
Buy my perfume. Losers!
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 9:03 pm
 
Sarah Jessica Parker is completely overrated. I am sure her perfume stinks too.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 9:08 pm
 
uh...EXCUSE ME????!!!! Are you the inbred girl on the WENDYS sign or something????Is that how you got your name????I mean, really, who are you?? Cause if you like, I will have my personal assistant pop right over & show you how 'overrated ' I really am!!!! And that means you will NOT be recieving a 'make up' fruit basket from Balthazar.

Buy my perfume!
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 9:09 pm | Edited by: jonwayne
 
!
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 9:09 pm
 
Sarah: you fuck like a horse.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 9:14 pm
 
Actually, I have never had "sex". Only romantic lovemaking fuck you very much.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 9:28 pm
 
Sarah: you kiss like a corpse.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 9:31 pm
 
Very funny John. Do you work in a cannery?
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 9:35 pm
 
No but you smell like a cannery you washed up Square Peg.
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 9:43 pm
 
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 10:07 pm
 
Posted: Sep 23, 2005 11:16 pm
 
in Gap ads et al for many years to come

She was replaced by the comely, talented, and age appropriate Joss Stone one year into her two year Gap contract.
Posted: Sep 24, 2005 12:34 am
 
That little hussy did NOT move in on my contract with GAP. I respectfully TERMINATED my relationship with them due to the fact that they would not provide the proper catering from LeCirc 2000 that I requested. I mean , how cheap can the possibly be???!! I mean, who are we talking about here? Me, THE Sarah Jessica Parker, or some 2 bit bitch from England who thinks she's black or somethin???? Get Real people!

Buy my perfume!
Posted: Sep 24, 2005 1:42 am
 
Oh Sarah. Face it. You are an OLD HAG. I mean, I am an old bittie and I watched you as a wee one on Square Pegs as the indicator of the bitch who would give me grief by the time I hit age 16 in 1984. You barely birthed the wee Matthew Broderick's dwarf child...or did that little blob result from a test tube as you could not bear a fetus in that dead uterus of yours???

SJP, you art a skank ho.
Posted: Sep 24, 2005 3:43 am
 
THATS IT. My publicist will be sending you a letter! & believe me, it will not be a pleasant one. I can also make it so that you never get a good seat at Tavern on the Green OR at Peter Lugers for the rest of your life! No christmas Balthazar fruit basket for YOU! Hussy!
Posted: Sep 24, 2005 5:28 am
 
can i just go back in time and kill everyone remotely associated with the pop success of disco? if not, then i'll limit my vitriol to gloria gaynor
Posted: Sep 24, 2005 8:41 am
 
-michael moore. he sucks. his last name sounds like a porn star's and it's just wrong.

-farrah fawcett. i hate you!

-martha stewart. fuck this bitch! i hate her.

-carson daly. not a cool guy. very annoying. his show sucks.

-jay leno. you suck! i hate your show!
Posted: Sep 24, 2005 8:50 am
 
sarah jessica parker
I want to smell your cunny. I want to touch your ass. I want to put my fingers in your mouth. I need a blowjob from you. I will fuck you and suck you. I will pop all over your face and it will be good for your complection. Bend over please and let the doctor give you a phisical.

Any ladies out there? I love you.
Posted: Sep 24, 2005 4:00 pm
 
Uh......GROSS!!!!!!! You MUST be from Fraser!
Posted: Sep 25, 2005 10:50 pm
 
Puff "P Diddy" Daddy. He's in the Proactiv infomercial. Total douche!
Posted: Sep 25, 2005 10:53 pm
 
After P got done shooting his part in the Poractiv thing he sang the song "Greens" by Wards.
Posted: Sep 25, 2005 11:11 pm
 
i think i would kill anyone who wears those fucking "livestrong" yellow bracelets.
Posted: Sep 26, 2005 3:55 am
 
Carrie and I like to talk about how we want to die. She wants go spontaneously combust while I'm killed by a safe or piano falling on my head. So, while I don't really want to kill anyone, I hope I'm killed in a completely random and retarded freak accident....when I'm very old, of course.
Posted: Sep 26, 2005 5:14 am
 
ASHTON KUTCHER!!!! His getting in on politics/disaster relief is a laugh.

think i would kill anyone who wears those fucking "livestrong" yellow bracelets.
FUCK YEAH!!!!
Posted: Sep 26, 2005 7:18 am
 
high 5 slammin!!! YO!! PCP!!

kill Blink 182 as well. PLEASE.!!!!!
Posted: Sep 26, 2005 8:58 pm
 
Barry Goubler and his ugly ass cat.
Posted: Sep 26, 2005 9:55 pm
 
That ain't my cat.
Posted: Sep 26, 2005 10:51 pm
 
rush limbaugh
jerry falwell
that guy from coheed and cambria that sounds like his balls are getting stepped on when he sings
avril lavigne
sarah jessica parker and her ugly ass horse face
Posted: Sep 26, 2005 10:59 pm
 
Elle! & her stupid ass post face!

Buy my perfume!
Posted: Sep 26, 2005 11:21 pm
 
From the Commercial Appeal:

Just another working mom

Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't consider herself a fashion icon.

"It's not the way I perceive myself, I'm so low on my priority list," said Parker, pointing out that she is a working mother.

"I love beautiful clothes and am privileged enough to have access to a lot them ... but they also are returned the next day. They are not mine," said the 40-year-old actress, who starred in HBO's hit "Sex and the City."

HaHA!! Schizo bitch! Get it together!
Posted: Sep 27, 2005 11:54 pm
 
Um...EXCUSE ME??? I have it sooooo together that I get free ultra expensive clothes little miss sassy frass. How about you? Do you ever send Pedro out to step and fetch your new ensemble on a DAILY basis??? I didn't think so. Stop hatin the player hussy & go back to study hall before an adult like myself has there lawyer start sendin some letters.

Buy my perfume!
Posted: Sep 28, 2005 1:06 am
 
has there lawyer start...
That would be "their" lawyer.
Testy, testy...for someone who doesn't consider herself a fashion icon.
And, that's little MISS PRISS to you!
Posted: Sep 28, 2005 1:08 am
 
I will not buy your perfume. I only wear Chanel.
Posted: Sep 28, 2005 1:33 am
 
I was on my way to an industry awards show honoring me (of course!) when I noticed your pathetic and obvious "I make less than 100 thousand dollars a year that's why I must correct other peoples punctuation to give my life some sort of fullfillment so I don't die a lame mid-west existence but I am lame so there is no hope for me anyway" post. You obviously can't afford "quality" perfume anyway. And even if you saved your pennies for a thousand years to be able to buy it, I seriously doubt it would cover up the unavoidable musk of mediocrity that eminates from your ape-like body.

Good luck affording my perfume you broke ass!
Posted: Sep 28, 2005 1:49 am
 
a lame mid-west existence...

That would be "lame Southern existence". Have a good time tonight, sugar, at your "industry awards" show.
Posted: Sep 29, 2005 1:33 am
 
i love this thread.
Posted: Sep 29, 2005 1:37 am
 
Buy my perfume!

i'll buy an entire vat of it if you promise to drown in it. :)
Posted: Oct 8, 2005 3:37 pm
 
Hey, reminded of the beginning of this thread when I saw this. Someone really might be watching!

http://www.photopermit.org/?p=91
Posted: Oct 8, 2005 5:34 pm
 
Spent Cartridge left a crack whore on my couch. He lives next door and walks funny because he was shot in the back of the head at point blank range. My entire apartment smells like cheap body spray. I gave her a seroquel so she could sleep and now i cant get her out. I took two percocet 10's so i was very generous but now i need my apartment back and she just wants to sleep. I think shes been up for some days now. I want to kill spent cartridge.
Posted: Oct 8, 2005 11:42 pm
 
Take a seroquel and do some blow. Closest thing to a speedball w/o any opiates. Only problem is if you do it alot you may be stricken w/ bizarre, permanent hallucinations. Glad I ran out of seroquel. And I wanna kill the pope. Stupid, repressive fucktard.
Posted: Oct 8, 2005 11:49 pm | Edited by: clubber lang
 
i'd kill the guy who stole my car, or the guy who shot my car, or the guy that shot my other car. if its the same guy i've got a bigger problem but a single 187 would solve it.

or tyra banks.
Posted: Oct 9, 2005 1:22 am
 
Did you know in memphis you can sell seroquel on the street for 5 bucks a piece. The 200 miil that is. They call it seropill. I'm not shitting you. People buy this shit. People also huff gas so....Kill Tyra Banks!
Posted: Oct 9, 2005 5:04 pm
 
TYRA BANKS (uptight, old cranky bitch. I wish she'd shut her piehole!!!!). ANGELINA JOLIE (lame-ass bitch that all supposedly "rebel/indie" dumbfuck girls look up to as being some GOD for who knows what reason... she's a cunt. I wouldn't fuck her dumpy, bloated ass if I had the chance. She fucks Brad Pitt and adopts retarded foreign kids for FUCKS SAKE.)
Posted: Oct 9, 2005 5:09 pm
 
GWENETH PALTROW (wtf likes her as an actress or thinks she's sexy? no one I've ever spoken to. OFF her and her COLDPLAY artsy-farsy husband)
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