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Goner Message Board / ???? / apparently it's all ellen's fault
Posted: Sep 13, 2005 10:50 pm
 
ROBERTSON BLAMES HURRICANE ON CHOICE OF ELLEN DEGENERES TO HOST EMMYS
Lesbian is New Orleans native

Pat Robertson on Sunday said that Hurricane Katrina was God’s way of expressing its anger at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences for its selection of Ellen Degeneres to host this year’s Emmy Awards. “By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath,” Robertson said on “The 700 Club” on Sunday. “Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres’ hometown?”

Robertson also noted that the last time Degeneres hosted the Emmys, in 2001, the September 11 terrorism attacks took place shortly before the ceremony.

“This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards,” Robertson explained to his approximately one million viewers. “America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation.”

Robertson added that other tragedies of the past several years can be linked to Degeneres’ growing national prominence. September, 2003, for example, is both the month that her talk show debuted and when insurgents first gained a foothold in Iraq following the successful March invasion. “Now we know why things took a turn for the worse,” he explained.

In order to avoid further tragedy, Robertson called not only for the Television Academy to find a new heterosexual host, but to bar all homosexuals and bisexuals from taking part in the ceremony.

He said employees at the Christian Broadcasting Network had put together a list of 283 nominees, presenters, and invited guests at the Emmys known to be of sexually deviant persuasions.

“God already allows one awards show to promote the homosexual agenda,” Robertson declared. “But clearly He will not tolerate such sinful behavior to spread beyond the Tonys.”
Posted: Sep 13, 2005 10:52 pm
 
That bitch.
Posted: Sep 13, 2005 11:06 pm
 
I think what pat robertson fails to realize is that historically, jesus was a homosexual stump wizard. like gandalf. (only not into hobbits). also, mary magdalin was a lesbian witch.
Posted: Sep 13, 2005 11:13 pm
 
IMMACULATE CONCEPTION

does it give gay people hope for children?
Posted: Sep 13, 2005 11:15 pm
 
I was sure this was a story in the Onion or something, but I sure couldn't find it there.

I'm sure alot of people sobscribe to this type of reasoning. Some relatives I debate politics with often have nonsense responses that are barely better than this one. Pitiful.
Posted: Sep 13, 2005 11:53 pm
 
At least he's not calling for Ellen's assassination... which is actually an idea I could get behind.
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 12:15 am
 
immaculate contra-ception would be a good thing, I think.

actually I have to say that God WAS probably man at Ellen.

not because she's a lesbian. in fact everyone knows that god LOVES lesbians. or at least Joan jett.
but really, go hates ellen because she is so damn NOT FUNNY. she is probably the most NOT FUNNY "funny person" ever in the world. also her talk show is mind bogglingly boring.
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 12:40 am
 
Fucking Christ
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 12:46 am
 
hmmm....i think it might be fake, but that dude is still an asshole
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 1:47 am
 
I'm starting to like him.
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 2:02 am
 
God knows what fury God would bring if Margaret Cho hosted the Emmys.
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 4:41 am
 
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 4:57 am
 
is "Dateline" Hollywood the show with that nutty Pat O'Brien? Let's revisit his fantastic phone calls soon!
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 5:06 am
 
Sounds like Pat has a crush on Ellen. He wants some action but she's gay.

“But clearly He will not tolerate such sinful behavior to spread beyond the Tonys."

That's the funniest thing that guy has every said.
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 5:15 am
 
i hate the faggots
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 5:42 am
 
Ellen is GAY!
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 2:15 pm
 
is "Dateline" Hollywood the show with that nutty Pat O'Brien?
That drunkard Pat used to host Access Hollywood. Now he has his own stupid entertainment show: The Insider. Pat O'Brien may be the most annoying person on earth. The Insider, is just a Entertainment Tonight spin-off show televised by gossip-monger Pat O'Brien. Who watches this shit?
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 3:47 pm
 
wait, I heard you can get a Hurricane at Pat O'briens. just off burbon street. I saw it once in a movie. maybe it's his fault and not ellen's.
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 3:53 pm
 
There is no end to the lunacy...
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 6:13 pm
 
We could just blame all of the tragedies of the last 4 decades on Ellen! What a way to clear your conscience. I personally feel so much better knowing that the terrorists attacked because of Ellen and not because of the rotten way America conducts itself. Thanks Pat Robertson! Thanks for showing us the light.
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 6:28 pm
 
actually I have to say that God WAS probably man at Ellen.

not because she's a lesbian. in fact everyone knows that god LOVES lesbians. or at least Joan jett.
but really, go hates ellen because she is so damn NOT FUNNY. she is probably the most NOT FUNNY "funny person" ever in the world.


Have to agree with this. NEVER found her funny.
And whenever she's on one of those credit card commercials, she dancing.
What's going on there?
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 6:29 pm
 
Can he explain then why did the "wrath of god" spare the uptown and french quarter areas? Areas where Ellen's "people" live? She didn't grow up in Lakeview or Mid-City and that got flooded!
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 7:26 pm
 
“But clearly He will not tolerate such sinful behavior to spread beyond the Tonys."
That sentence makes it sound like a punch line to an Onion or Weekly World News story. How can anyone take him seriously?

How does Ellen find such cute lesbians to go out with her? The girlfriend before Portia de Rossi was pretty damn cute too. All the women who ever hit on me looked like barrels with crewcuts.
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 8:32 pm
 
these days ellen is 'just' gay. now paula poundstone...holy shit that bitch went all the way!
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 8:46 pm | Edited by: Hugh Jass
 
That sentence makes it sound like a punch line to an Onion or Weekly World News story. How can anyone take him seriously?
Sorry folks, this isn't real. That "Dateline Hollywood" site, where that story was taken from, is to entertainment what The Onion is to the news. It's all fake.

Check out some of the other headlines:
ASPIRING BOOB FLASHERS DEVASTATED BY NEW ORLEANS FLOODING

LENO, CULKIN TO TESTIFY AT SADDAM TRIAL

EASILY RECOGNIZABLE “ALI G” FORCED TO PRANK TODDLERS, MENTALLY-CHALLENGED

STALKER APOLOGIZES TO BILL PULLMAN, MEANT TO STALK BILL PAXTON

HOTEL RWANDA VIDEO GAME BLASTED BY CRITICS
Posted: Sep 14, 2005 8:52 pm
 
IMMACULATE CONCEPTION

That's the name of the grade school I attended... me and my brothers before me...
Posted: Sep 15, 2005 2:17 pm
 
Sorry folks, this isn't real. That "Dateline Hollywood" site, where that story was taken from, is to entertainment what The Onion is to the news. It's all fake.
Okay, I thought it was fake. I was not aware of the Dateline Hollywood site.

www.weeklyworldnews.com has my favorite headline this week:

CHINESE ADMIT: 'WE CAN'T TELL EACH OTHER APART, EITHER!'
Posted: Sep 15, 2005 2:59 pm
 
Pat O'Brien may be an annoying turd, but he WAS in Dale Gregory & The Shouters, and played a mean electric piano. No one can take that away from him.
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