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Goner Message Board / ???? / New "I LOVE BRIAN COSTELLO" buttons are in!!!
Posted: May 4, 2005 4:37 pm
Now I know some of you don't like me because I'm The Coz and I don't like getting my critically-acclaimed show trashed by a bunch of amateur lightweight Green Bay yokels like Todd Trickknee who act like 15 year olds in Denny's parking lots after drinking a couple bottles of Boone's Farm, and I especially hate not getting free CDs from your merchandise girls, because I'm The Coz, and I'm easily one of the most gifted talents working in this business of show today, but I have news for you.

I know the timing's really bad, but 2 weeks ago, I ordered "I LOVE BRIAN COSTELLO" buttons, and we're selling them for $4 each. They're really big, and they have a white background with black lettering and a big red heart. It'll look great on your leather jackets. As a Criminal IQ recording artist, I understand what playing for punks in punky fashion acoutrements is all about. These buttons are the perfect addition to your fashion sense. Plus, it makes my huge ego even bigger. Because, I'm The Coz.

You can order them through Criminal IQ records. If you give me a free CD of your band, I might knock off one dollar. If you're in Human Eye or Cunt Puppet or if your name is Nick G. (the only detective here who sussed out the obvious), you will get one for free.

All proceeds go to my income tax bill. Thank you.
Posted: May 4, 2005 4:44 pm
$4 for a pin ?! It better do tricks and make me dinner !
Posted: May 4, 2005 4:51 pm
the tsa screeners in albuquerque broke my maybe chicago cd, any chance of you throwing your weight as a criminal iq recording artist around to get me a free replacement? i understand that free cds may be a touchy subject but goddamn, i paid for the fucker once.
Posted: May 4, 2005 4:54 pm
Do you steal all your ideas from Norah?
Posted: May 4, 2005 5:06 pm
merch ideas from norah, schtick from andy kaufman
Posted: May 4, 2005 5:11 pm
just as long as he steals a goddamn maybe chicago disc from criminal iq i don't care.
Posted: May 4, 2005 5:13 pm
I'm shocked that nobody has chimed in with the obligatory "don't I get one for free?" post yet.
Posted: May 4, 2005 5:57 pm
I would guess cuz no one wants one
Posted: May 4, 2005 6:00 pm
Sounds like Gene Simmons.

Is there a Brian Costello coffin available?
Posted: May 4, 2005 6:36 pm | Edited by: shrapnel

free for friends.
ten fucking bucks for brian.
Posted: May 4, 2005 6:43 pm
bo-jo, is that what they pay you to do at work? if not, then they should.
Posted: May 4, 2005 7:58 pm | Edited by: Cryin Bostello
I am trying to bring it back to the old school. 1998! When people loved each other and gave each other free stuff and I didn't live in Chicago!
Posted: May 4, 2005 8:07 pm
Yer shit wishes you were cool enough to pick the corn out of our turds, turd. Go ahead and talk shit about NE Wisconsinners whenever you please, we'll be too busy enjoying ourselves to respond to your drivel. I'm sure your entitlement issues jive well with those of your students' parents in yon ghetto. You both want somethin' for nothin', and feel obliged to bitch about it when you think you've been shortchanged. Grow up.
Posted: May 4, 2005 8:10 pm | Edited by: Argh
You ordered them two weeks ago, so AFTER you saw the giant I HEART NORAH button on the cover of the Reader.....reallllly creative.

I mean, I know I didn't invent the whole I HEART __________ thing....but regardless, you are retarded. And if you didn't get them made and you're just trying to rile me up, you're doubly retarded.
Posted: May 4, 2005 8:17 pm
I think I've seen this episode of "Bosom Buddies".
Posted: May 4, 2005 8:18 pm | Edited by: IheartNorah
Well at least the COZ is on the right track...coping someone who actually IS creative and well liked by others.

But I really don't think we'll be seeing a banner with a "I *heart* Brian Costello" button, and full page interview of the COZ in the reader any time soon.
Posted: May 4, 2005 8:23 pm
Free donkey punches to anyone who buys an "I Love Brian Costello" button!
Posted: May 4, 2005 8:30 pm
Larf! Larf! GLLLLLLLL!!!!
Posted: May 4, 2005 8:31 pm | Edited by: enjoy my feet
4 bucks for a fucking button? you clueless fat bastard, brian.

i don't blame green bay for booting you off stage. the problem is nobodys drunk enough to do it in chicago.


now tlak some more about how important we are because we live in chicago

Posted: May 4, 2005 8:32 pm
Any chance you can get one of those buttons posted on this thread? I'd like to see what I'm buying, the check is in the mail.

How 'bout a button that reads "I hate NORAH" or even "I hate The Coz". You can double your sales, see how easy selling merch. is. You'll sell so many buttons that you'll end up owing the IRS even more money.
Posted: May 4, 2005 8:33 pm
How 'bout a button that reads "I hate NORAH"

Meh, that's been done too.
Posted: May 4, 2005 8:42 pm
Brian, are you serious? Man, I hope this is a joke. Go ahead and dig yourself an even bigger hole. Your buttons might have been funny if you wouldn't diss all your Chicago (and other cities) friends!
Posted: May 4, 2005 8:48 pm
this "goy" is a real work of art.
Posted: May 4, 2005 9:08 pm
I bet all this" drama" Costello is creating about himself is really just to use as material for his next book.
Posted: May 4, 2005 9:18 pm | Edited by: IheartNorah
Is the book called "I'm an Ass and EVERYONE knows it"?
Posted: May 4, 2005 9:35 pm
oh yeah? well, I love Bud Abbott!
Posted: May 4, 2005 9:41 pm
I have been rethinking the title, this sounds better:


rolls off the tongue better, don't you think?
Posted: May 4, 2005 10:00 pm
how 'bout:

Brian Costello Is a Big Fat Dumb Idiot
Posted: May 4, 2005 10:02 pm
Even better!
Posted: May 4, 2005 10:45 pm
Hello everybody, DTRAIN here,
I will be selling different varieties of garbage off the 'oh so cool' streets of NYC. Don't miss this once in a lifetime opprotunity to own an actual peice of "physical matter" touched by yours truly (the train himself!) to treasure & enjoy for a lifetime! oh! I haven't forgotten about the little ones either, I 've got a special zip lock bag of "all american toilette juice"just for them! & for this special limited time only, I'm offering the 'lucky brown plastic bag' for the first 100 customers, AT NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE! What a deal! Please send check or money order for $19.95 to DTRAIN. c/o PAY PAL to the link off this board.
Posted: May 4, 2005 10:48 pm
I sold my Shit Sandwich pin at the bar a while ago to some frat boy for seven dollars, so at least the turnover is good. I'll take a couple hundred.
Posted: May 4, 2005 10:51 pm
Really, wabash? Amazing!

I had some teacher in canada order thirty two of them, without knowing the label!
Posted: May 4, 2005 10:53 pm
like it says shit on it hahaha, i hate campus towns
Posted: May 4, 2005 10:54 pm
who are you?
Posted: May 4, 2005 10:55 pm
Drew from Indiana
Posted: May 4, 2005 10:58 pm
Oh, hey!

You owe me seven dollars.

Just kidding.
Posted: May 4, 2005 10:59 pm
I'll hold it till you boys and girls can make it to the crossroads of america
Posted: May 4, 2005 11:14 pm
You got it, kid. We should figure that out soon.
Posted: May 4, 2005 11:17 pm
Look for the "I'm Having Steve Strange's Anal Love Child" pins soon! Only $75 dollars a pop. Cheap!
Posted: May 5, 2005 6:43 am
My friend found a Shit Sandwich pin on the ground at SXSW. It is now mine. I display it proudly on my "punk rock sweatshirt."
Posted: May 5, 2005 6:51 am
I got a button maker. Send me yr orders!!!
Posted: May 5, 2005 1:19 pm
Hey Bri,

Randy and I have a big problem. It seems that Paula has been getting straight up taint deep with that studly ex-contestant Corey. We're gonna kick that Cold-Hearted boo to the curb and we need a good replacement.

You seem like your are very with it and have a good grasp of what the American's want. We have read your writings and feel that they exemplify the kind of blandness that we strive so hard to acheive. We have seen your band play and we feel that your performance was right up there with Randy's emotionaly stired performance as bass player in Journey. Also, with Paula leaving, we need a replacement who can capture the homosexual market share. Whadoya say?

Posted: May 5, 2005 2:16 pm
I got a free button.
Posted: May 5, 2005 6:53 pm
You lot are unbelievable really...anyone who thinks that Brian's made a buncha buttons with "I LOVE BRIAN COSTELLO' on them needs their fucking head examined. IT'S A JOKE PEOPLE! Also, what the fuck is it with all the nasty personal attacks on him? Costello's one of the good guys man. Always ready to open his door to you lot who aint got a place to go after the bars close, he's a loyal friend to many of you, and like it or not he's helped a lot of bands out with his BC Show over the years. I'm pretty dissapointed to see all the shit talking from some of you. And some of the more personal stuff regarding his writing, his band, his show are just way out of order. And as for all the snidey little motherfuckers who post anonymous jabs at him from behind their stupid screen names - you lot need to cunt off with your stupid little shit stirring posts ya fucking lo-blow chicken shit wankers. Should be ashamed of yerselves.
Posted: May 5, 2005 7:04 pm
I love it when Darius uses "cunt" as a verb. Very effective.
Posted: May 5, 2005 7:30 pm
I'm pretty dissapointed to see all the shit talking from some of you.

But it's cool when Costello shit-talks the Ponys, Green Bay, and everything else under the sun.

Costello can dish it out, but he can't take it. He gets what he deserves.
Posted: May 5, 2005 7:34 pm
He didn't shit talk the Pony's you stupid pratt! And there's plenty of inter-city rivalry on here already so nothing new there either.
Posted: May 5, 2005 7:41 pm
So, Darius, am I NOT supposed to take this thread as a personal attack on me?! Am I not supposed to defend myself?

Brian makes it very easy to attack. The whole Brian Miller thing, the Ponys thing, the shit he said about people in the Terminal Boredom article, he can't expect to say stuff like this about people and NOT have them react/defend themselves. He never sincerely apologizes, just says shit like "Sorry, I was drunk". It's fucked up and its about time people call him on it.

And not only that, but whenever anyone disagrees with him, he takes it as a personal attack. He's an immature crybaby who thinks the world owes him something and if you want to deal with that kind of shit, that's your perogative.

In summation, fuck Brian Costello.

Norah Utley
(in case you didn't know who Argh was)
Posted: May 5, 2005 7:41 pm
He didn't shit talk the Pony's you stupid pratt

you must be delerious. his whole original CD post was a direct attack.
Posted: May 5, 2005 7:43 pm

Costello can dish it out, but he can't take it. He gets what he deserves.
Posted: May 5, 2005 7:43 pm
Ok now, if Hootie says we have to be nice to the COZ i guess we should. Come on everybody "Hold COZ's HAND!"
Posted: May 5, 2005 7:46 pm
heyyyy, 2005 is the year NOBODY can take a joke!

just be VERY careful with those Criminal IQ releases.
just the name 'Rotten Fruits' can easily be seen as being derogatory towards homosexuals if you look at it in the wrong context.
You wouldn't want anyone to 'not get it.'
Posted: May 5, 2005 7:57 pm
and this is the year I'm taking EVERYTHING seriously and ALWAYS looking at everthing in the wrong context.
that shit's fun.
Posted: May 5, 2005 8:02 pm
Brian spent half his show in Milwaukee trying to stop the unrulyness "ruining" his show and then when I got on stage he started throwing his empty beer bottles around and knocked over two (2) of my FULL ones that I PAID for..... he sure can dish it out and sure can't take it.
Posted: May 5, 2005 8:07 pm
aren't the rotten fruits gay? and isn't one of them a cop?
Posted: May 5, 2005 8:10 pm
Well, I don't think anyone deserves to be called "rotten." Especially someone who's just trying to express themselves as a homosexual. That's just being insensitive and homophobic, and I'm gonna do everything I can to....

arman: yes and yes.
Posted: May 5, 2005 8:18 pm
There is a little known story about Elvis Costello attempting to get into the Rat in Boston for free in the early 80's. He pulled the old "don't you know who I am? I'm Elvis Costello" on them.

The legendarily meatheaded security at the Rat threw Elvis Costello out on to the sidewalk, literally on to his ass, and screamed "I don't care if you're fuckin' ABBOTT & COSTELLO, you ain't gettin in here!!!"

just a funny anecdote that seems somehow relevant here.
Posted: May 5, 2005 8:21 pm | Edited by: SAMBEAUX
It's not as good as the Ray Charles Elvis Costello story.
Posted: May 5, 2005 8:21 pm
"I don't care if you're fuckin' ABBOTT & COSTELLO...

Posted: May 5, 2005 8:25 pm
my older sister dated a guy who worked at the rat when they were in college, i used to get in for free all the time. and i was underage, it was awesome. i was so pissed when she dumped him.
Posted: May 5, 2005 8:32 pm
Brian is a REALLY important person.
Posted: May 5, 2005 8:47 pm
Brian Costello: Mayor of Chicago, Comedic Genius, Best Drummer Ever, Best Looking Man In Punk, Shitcagos Greatest Lover
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:01 pm
Again : Brain did NOT shit talk the Ponys. he moaned aabout not getting a free cd of the fucking merch girl - whatever. I don't think it deserves flak like calling him a clueless fat bastard! I don't think this thread is an attack on you either Norah. Like you said - you didn't invent the "I love" buttons idea, and if you want to take it personally, that's your perogative.

Oh, and Iheartnorah - grow some bollocks and mouth off to my face mate you know where to find me.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:05 pm
Oh and thanks for the advice agony bag - do you think we'll get some flak from our newest signing - the Niggers - because of their name?
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:06 pm | Edited by: mrlastname
You'll get flak from the two bands that already used that name.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:06 pm
grow some bollocks and mouth off to my face mate you know where to find me.

In GAY CHICAGO magazine!
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:07 pm | Edited by: IheartNorah
"Oh, and Iheartnorah - grow some bollocks and mouth off to my face mate you know where to find me."

WOW!!! I tought i'd just get a "grow up" or "get a new joke"

I really hit a nerve!

p.s. actually...i DON'T know where to find you.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:09 pm
GAY CHICAGO magazine!
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:10 pm
darius, how was suzie just supposed to up and give brian a CD for free when she was working the merch table for the ponys? it's not her call and you know that. whether he was talking shit about the pony's directly or indirectly doesn't make a difference really. the point is that he bitched about not being indulged like spaulding schmalze. think about it, what if brian were to work merch for criminal iq and just decided to start giving away cd's for free. what would you do? treat him like a kleenex at a snot party i would hope.

agony bag(todd?): ooooo la la, i hope i get strip searched by the cop some day...
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:12 pm
but of course. But that name was taken several times over even back in the '70s, and by bands that had all black members, so now it's way beyond passe' unless they drop one of the 'g's' and refer to themselves as citizens of the African nation, Niger.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:12 pm
Oh ok Darius, in that case I take back everything I said.

Posted: May 5, 2005 9:15 pm
Okay then,

This is the last thing I'm saying about this. If everyone wants to hate me for the rest of their lives after reading this, and forget the good things I've done and tried to do, go ahead:

1. I apologized to Jered last weekend, because, believe it or not, I actually do feel FUCKING HORRIBLE for what I wrote while totally drunk. It was wrong, and I'M SORRY. If you can't forgive me for this, then don't. I obviously set myself up (in some ways) for a lot of this EXTREME HATRED with that post, but really, it was more about me just thinking I was friends with everybody and NOT AT ALL this RIDICULOUS idea that I think I'm "important." I ask that those of you who have been my friends for the past 4-5 years to please forgive me. If you can't, I understand. I fucked up.

2. Initially, I said I held a "low opinion" of Green Bay. Kevin Mistreater's response to all the shittalk on THAT thread should clarify my reasons for this "low opinion." How this turned into Mr. Trickknee acting like the Mayor of Green Bay and then writing a completely ridiculous and (unintentionally) hilarious attempt at my life pre-Chicago made me just have some fun by cracking some jokes about Green Bay. Nick G was the only one to understand that very little of that was to be taken seriously.

3. The guy who plays the Rhythm Chicken sent me a very apologetic e-mail for doing his part to screw up the show. Ironically enough, he offered to mail me a FREE cd as an olive branch.

4. This button thread wasn't serious. There are no buttons. It was, indeed, a joke. Why would I be selling buttons on this board to people who want to tar and feather me? Duh? Seriously, I'm really amazed at the rather viscous hatred from you guys. I was just playing the role of the Horrible Primadonna Artist y'all seem to be trying to make me.

5. beeveedee: I bought you a beer as an apology, remember? In the middle of your set I did this. You took the beer, remember? Anyway, I apologized then, profusely, and I apologize now.

6. Melons: Please forgive me.

7. My friends: Please forgive me and forget about these regrettable actions. I can't be more sincere here. I'm sure you've all...No, you HAVE done stupid things while drunk. Some of you have done stupid things while drunk in my house, and I've forgiven you. I'd appreciate it if you return the favor. I'm sorry times one million kajillion. If you can't forgive me for this, then hey...it was fun hanging out with most of you.

8. Brian Miller and I are still friends, for the record.

9. Unlike many of you pathetic jerks, I've used my actual name on here, and have gotten held up to all the accountability I deserve (and quite a bit I don't deserve).
My e-mail is: thebcshowwithbc@hotmail.com. If you're that concerned about all this beyond just stupid shittalk, and want to actually be held accountable for your opinions, drop me a line. I believe it was on my profile all along. If you're old friends of mine and think I'm being totally wrong, drop me a line.

That is all.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:15 pm
Who you callin' Nigger?! I fuggin squash you like a fucking crumpet, cracker ass.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:15 pm
PS Suzie: I aplogize. You were just doing your job.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:18 pm
Dude, the Nigers is a genius band name.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:20 pm
hahahaha - nice one BJ - yeah that's right - gay chicago! Arman - I'd have to kill him if he did that.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:22 pm
Thank you Brian!!!
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:23 pm | Edited by: koppper
Have you ever considered starting your own message board?
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:26 pm
Dude, the Nigers is a genius band name
Has - The Yids - ever been done?
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:28 pm
Can't we all just get along?
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:28 pm
damn you all for posting so much I couldn't get my last zing in with appropriate timing, poop! I really am stinky at this.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:39 pm
Whatever. Brian, you've always been a dick to me, and you've always directed shit at me (sometimes upfront, sometimes thinly-veiled). Up until this thread, I've always been nice to you in person and in print, and even defended you to people who think you're an asshole/douchebag - and looking over this thread, a hell of a lot of those folks abound. What happened here was you were attacked, and your only way out was an insincere "apology." If I'm wrong, YOU email ME. Otherwise, everything I've written here stands, especially the part about your lonesome, misspent youth behind the cornstalks.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:47 pm
It's funny when people dislike Trickknee. I guess I just don't get it... He's a pretty likeable funny guy. He makes me very horny.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:48 pm
I don't think it deserves flak like calling him a clueless fat bastard!

I don't know anything about his parents' marital status, but clueless and fat are definitely spot-on.
Posted: May 5, 2005 9:53 pm
Thanks Paul. I'm bannnngging my dick agaaaaaiiinst the moooonnnnitor right nooooowww, and I thinnnnnkkkkk they're gonnaaaa fire meeeee!!!!!!!!! Let's fuck!
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:13 pm
The YIDS were a gang of surly yobs who spearheaded the oft ignored movement called the NEW WAVE OF YIDDISH HEAVY METAL.
look 'em up!
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:14 pm
jeez todd, you're mean
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:16 pm
mean? I'm just sitting here sweating as usual.
can't I make a funny?

oh that's right, I almost forgot how serious this was!
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:17 pm
I think he meant Trickknee. So many todds, so little time.
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:17 pm
you're todd?
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:18 pm
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:18 pm
Who you call a yid?! I'm jewish you cracker ass. You racist man. racist.
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:18 pm
I heard if I licked a Todd I'd start trippin'. True?
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:19 pm
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:20 pm
I'd never sign in as Todd. That's just too obvious.
I'm the one with the regular knee!
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:20 pm
Yeah that's true.
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:22 pm
come on, don't you look at the profiles? There's two Todds here and we're both using fake names. who cares?

whatevs, yo.
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:26 pm
What! You saying just 'cause I'm black that means I don't look at profiles. you racist!
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:26 pm | Edited by: Agony Bag
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:28 pm
There's another Todd on here!!!!???!!!!????

Mr. Killings?

My only fake name ever was Japdog. There, now the joke is ruined. Thanks a lot, Costello!!!
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:30 pm
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:30 pm | Edited by: Black Guy
dats that surp muthafucka dats muthafucka surp gettin zoooed!
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:30 pm
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:32 pm
Japdog was great...why'd ya out yerself toddles?
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:36 pm
I'm never tellin' anybody that I'm lamb puppy.
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:40 pm
Brian, I thouroughly accept your apology and cudos to you for doing so. Wow! This was a joke? You are brilliant! You got everybody up in arms for nothing! That's funny! Love,M
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:41 pm
I'm keeping the fact that I'm bazooka joe to myself.
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:42 pm
"I'm come'n out....I want the world to know...I'm come'n....out" sing it with me
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:54 pm
You probably don't have to guess who I've been posting as...yes, I am just that Brilliant... I mean, no, Brian is...wait.

hey girls...wanna wrestle?
Posted: May 5, 2005 10:56 pm
Actually, you have ALL been had!!

This WHOLE THING was actually an elaborate (if ill-advised) stunt staged to promote Headache City's upcoming appearance on the Brian Costello Show With Brian Costello (TM)!!! Sorry if anyone got their feelers hurt, but that's showbiz, kids!
Posted: May 5, 2005 11:05 pm
Drats foiled again!
Posted: May 5, 2005 11:29 pm
And to think HOW excited I am about coming to Chicago to be reunited with my (now defunt) big-happy family.......

Posted: May 5, 2005 11:37 pm
I love you Sherry! Hold me!
Posted: May 6, 2005 7:18 pm
this week on a very special 'full house'...
Posted: May 8, 2005 6:46 am
Where's Goubler?
Posted: May 9, 2005 6:15 pm
Congrats, Brian! Your grovelling is as bad as your freebie-scaming.
...now give me a button.
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