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Goner Message Board / ???? / heard any good jokes lately?
Posted: Nov 23, 2013 8:09 pm
 
i got nothin.
??
Posted: Nov 23, 2013 10:54 pm | Edited by: pseudo pion
 
Why did the puppet cross the street?

Answer here:

Posted: Nov 24, 2013 2:18 am
 
Posted: Nov 24, 2013 1:31 pm
 
Why did the puppet cross the street?

Answer here:



i can't tell what he's saying, but i have a shark pants record. pretty good!
Posted: Nov 24, 2013 7:48 pm
 
Why don't blind people skydive?




Scares the hell out of the dogs
Posted: Nov 24, 2013 8:08 pm
 
a lady was walking her baby when a drunk walked by and said "thats the ugliest baby ive ever seen!" the lady upset and crying continues to walk down the street when a mail man asks "lady why so upset?" the lady replies "a drunk man just called my baby ugly!..." the mailman says "its ok lady im sure your baby is beautiful child, oh and here's a banana for the chimp".
Posted: Nov 24, 2013 10:26 pm
 
The Willy Nelson blowjob joke was probably the last good joke I heard that Richwad didn't tell.

Actually, his jokes are awful, but the way he tells them makes me laff.
Posted: Nov 25, 2013 10:16 am
 
What do you throw a drowning guitar player?


His amp!
Posted: Nov 25, 2013 2:55 pm
 
I steal most of my jokes from this vietnam vet and I haven't seen him around in awhile...these are some good ones though.
Posted: Nov 26, 2013 10:13 pm
 
q: what did the angry whiney horse say when he was served dinner?
a: "Heyyyy!!??"
Posted: Nov 27, 2013 9:15 am
 
What did Hitler say to his troops before they got in their tanks?



Get in your tanks.
Posted: Nov 27, 2013 12:40 pm
 
^that^
Posted: Nov 27, 2013 4:36 pm
 
What do you call a gentleman?


A man that knows how to play accordion, but doesn't.
Posted: Nov 28, 2013 4:57 am
 
You apparently haven't been watching the Variety Show.

My Halloween Joke:
Q: Who is the loneliest guy at the Halloween Orgy?
A: The Headless Horseman

A Thanksgiving Joke:
A potato runs into a bar and says,
"Could I have a drink, pretty please?"
Bartender says, "Well, aren't you a Sweet Potato?"
Potato says, "Yes, I Yam."
Posted: Nov 28, 2013 11:35 am | Edited by: Laurent Bigot
 
A while ago, Michael Lucas posted somewhere my new all-time favorite joke

Jerry Garcia and Bob Weir are walking down the street and they cross paths with a priest with a broken leg. So they ask him what happened? "I fall down in my bath". They feel sorry for him but as soon as he's gone, Jerry asks Bob: "What's a bath?". Bob : "Why the hell should I know, I'm not catholic!"
Posted: Nov 29, 2013 9:28 pm
 
Q: whats old,white, canadian and smells like a pickle?
A: Ann Murray

i just made that one up, on just a half bottle of beer.
Posted: Nov 30, 2013 12:57 am
 
Have you ever smelled mothballs?

*imperative that your audience responds with a resounding YES!*

You HAVE?
How did you get their tiny little legs apart?
Posted: Nov 30, 2013 9:29 am
 
do you have holes in your underwear?

*imperative that your audience responds with a resounding NO!*

You DON'T?

Then how did you get your legs through?
Posted: Dec 4, 2013 9:29 am
 
Nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape
Posted: Jan 10, 2019 6:24 pm
 
Rick Astley owns the complete collection of Pixar movies and will loan you any of them except one.

He's never going to give you Up
Posted: Jan 10, 2019 6:26 pm
 
What do you call a french man in sandals? Phelipe Phalop.

What does a man with two left feet wear? Flip flips.
Posted: Feb 28, 2019 8:07 pm
 
Man walks into a bar
Man - give me 6 bourbon shots
Barman - you must be celebrating something
Man - yeah, my first blow job
Barman - well let me buy you an extra one
Man - No it's ok if six doesn't get the taste out nothing will
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