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Goner Message Board / ???? / Shitty roommates
Posted: May 31, 2011 10:57 pm | Edited by: Record Shop Asshole
 
I moved in with this girl nine months ago...I had posted a housing wanted ad and she responded saying we had a lot in common and would probably get along fairly well, and the house was pretty cheap so I took the offer. Long story short, this girl is a total bitch...mostly just because she lived here first, she views this as her house with her fucking uptight rules and treats me as basically a guest living in her house. We had another guy living with us for a while and he hated her more than I did and left after four months.

Her new boyfriend moved in with us about a month ago (in that unless he's at work or she's at work, he's ALWAYS here) and she never asked me if it was cool or anything like that; plus, he doesn't pay any rent. I'm leaving June 15 and trying to find some minor form of payback to make myself feel better about this whole thing, juvenile as it is. Any ideas? Is it shitty to keep putting off my rent check and then just ditching the place a day early without paying my half-a-month's rent? I never signed anything, there was never any contract or agreement other than verbally.

I've lived in a number of different situations, both through craigslist and just with friends, and I've never been so miserable about a housing arrangement.
Posted: May 31, 2011 11:48 pm | Edited by: Rich Balls
 
dip her toothbrush in the toilet everyday till you leave
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 1:05 am
 
Upper decker!
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 8:08 am
 
Dip your balls in whatever you can...peanut butter, coffee, cereal, Tang!.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 8:28 am
 
stiff her on rent and place a couple open cans of tuna in the vents or behind the water heater. BF living for free is some inconsiderate shit. Fuck her.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 12:38 pm
 
Having a bitchy roommate that you just never see eye-to-eye with is an occasional fact of life. However, the "rent-free significant other" is a tell-tale sign of human devolution. fuck her any way you can.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 2:29 pm
 
google, Milk Chicken Bomb. that should do the trick!
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 2:37 pm
 
ditch without paying rent, thats a given.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 3:05 pm | Edited by: Uptight White
 
However, the "rent-free significant other" is a tell-tale sign of human devolution.

Yes it is. I instituted a three day rule, where they pay their friend's cut of the rent for any week their friend spent more than 72 hours there. Put that BS to an end.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 3:22 pm
 
if the boyfriend isnt there when the girl is at work then he is a visitor and should not be required to pay rent.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 5:21 pm
 
if the boyfriend isnt there when the girl is at work then he is a visitor and should not be required to pay rent.

Actually, if he's sleeping there - HE LIVES THERE.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 5:22 pm
 
Also, if he showers there, uses the stove, or does laundry - HE LIVES THERE.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 6:06 pm
 
droppin deuces trumps everything else.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 7:30 pm
 
dip her toothbrush in the toilet everyday till you leave

no, shove it up your ass everyday and take a time coded picture of it. then when you move out, mail her those pictures.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 8:27 pm | Edited by: bradx
 
Actually, if he's sleeping there - HE LIVES THERE.

bullshit. if he is only there when she is there he is company. if he doesnt have a key he doesnt pay rent.

would you pay rent to "live" somewhere you only had access to when your girlfriend was not at work or elsewhere?
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 9:21 pm
 
Did you offer to split the rent with every warm body under the roof or did you offer to pay half? She didn't have a written contract with you, either.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 11:17 pm
 
I understand both sides of the debate, but I'll put it this way -- she literally hasn't been in the house without him ONCE in the past month and a half, and she's been at the house every day for the past month and a half.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 11:22 pm
 
And further, I'll say that when I came into this agreement there was never any mention that I'd have to listen to her having loud and obnoxious, exaggerated, screaming sex twice a day -- I mean I've got music, but it only goes so loud. And when I'm sitting downstairs in the morning having a bowl of cereal, I don't always want to blast music.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 11:33 pm
 
She didn't have a written contract with you, either.
exactly, that's why he's moving out.
Posted: Jun 1, 2011 11:42 pm | Edited by: Rich Balls
 
would you pay rent to "live" somewhere you only had access to when your girlfriend was not at work or elsewhere?

I wouldn't be free loading off other peoples utilities. That shit is rude and trashy.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 8:10 am
 
listen to her having loud and obnoxious, exaggerated, screaming sex twice a day --


This can only mean one thing...she wants you to rape her....I would have months ago.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 8:51 am
 
Totally agree with BradX on this one. It's always lonely people that have such a problem with roommates having a significant other hanging around. And god forbid they have sex! And an active sex life???? Twice in one day???? GASP! Guess what, that's how people end up with roommates that aren't platonic. And actually form romantic relationships.

Or do you want to end up like this case study, where having a member of the opposite sex spend the night is a breach of the roommate agreement?

if the boyfriend isnt there when the girl is at work then he is a visitor and should not be required to pay rent.

Actually, if he's sleeping there - HE LIVES THERE.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 9:46 am
 
where having a member of the opposite sex spend the night is a breach of the roommate agreement?

Yes, numerous people are jealous of your wild n kinky sex life - get over it dude! That's not the point. Sexin isn't even the issue.

There's a big difference between a gf/bf hanging out a lot, that's fine.
But 7 days a week, and sleeping/shitting/cooking there - is living there. Record Shop Asshole is not this guy's parents, and shouldn't have to pay his utility bills.

If this guy wasn't a fucking loser, he'd cough up a few bucks (at least) toward utilities every month - rather than let a complete stranger pay for it. It's called FREE LOADING, guess some of you suckers are Ok with it. I wouldn't pay every month for that shit.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 10:02 am
 
I'm just saying if everyone was getting laid in this story, there'd be a lot more high-fiving and less pro-rating the water bill. Should these two love birds eventually move in together if it continues down this path? Definitely. But there are stages of a relationship and maybe the role of temporary roommate shouldn't play such a huge part in the success or failure. If the guy has moved in, that's different, but it sounds like they just spend all their time together.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 10:06 am
 
Why don't they stay at his place once and awhile? More than likely the reasons are either he doesn't have a place or he has roomates he doesn't want to impose upon...either of which means it's bullshit he doesn't cough up some dough. Don't pay her a cent.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 10:31 am
 
Get caught jerking off on her door knob after she has wild sex. Also be kind enough to ask the boyfriend if you can pop a round off in his ass. That a great way to stick it to her...and him
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 10:41 am
 
haha, Nick's just sensitive because he got seriously dicked over by a long-time friend over this kinda stuff. And I was most assuredly NOT shitting/cooking/showering in that nasty fucking apartment! Plus, I contributed a lot of stuff: booze, food, drugs, music. The Grave Blankets prequel story, it's a good one! First drummer we ever gave the boot.

Back to Record Shop Asshole, though - that girl sounds like a total skank! Dip your balls in everything!
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 10:42 am
 
But no, with no contract, you don't owe her anything. Get out of there if it bothers you. But not before heading whadatsay's sage advice.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 10:44 am
 
Well, I have also been on the other side of this coin a few times too. And did NOT react that way. Am I a sucker? No, I'm a DUDE.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 10:46 am
 
Of course, my roommates were all male, so maybe there's some more layers to this onion! Jealous of her relationship? She just drives you crazy sometimes?! Is there just so much tension??? CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER!
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 12:29 pm
 
Stick a sirloin stake between the mattress and box-springs of her bed.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 12:55 pm
 
who has a sirloin steak to spare?
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 1:17 pm
 
who has a sirloin steak to spare?

No kidding!!! Look for cheaper alternatives. Once I had a friend who took the bottom drawer out of his roommate's dresser, and then slid a tray full of nasty food under it (tuna fish, sour cream, etc.) and then replaced the drawer. The dude had the hardest time figuring out what was wrong with his room,and why his clothes all smelled rotten.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 1:21 pm
 
CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER!
the plot thickens!!
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 1:23 pm | Edited by: bradx
 
i wouldnt pay money for a place i didnt have a key to, noone would. people have a right to have guests, and if they use a little of your water its too fucking bad. as long as they arent stealing your food out of the refrigerator i doubt its adding up to much extra as far as utilities are concerned. again, if he isnt there when she isnt, then he is a guest, period. i have friends who at times were over every single day, i never charged them for fucking utilities. that shit is ridiculous. noone pays rent for a place they do not have a key to. unless there is a contract signed, there is no limit on how often a person can have a guest over. many people who are in love spend all their free time together, but if he leaves when she leaves then he is her guest.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 1:24 pm | Edited by: tigerblinds
 
This is a financial dilemma for Judge Judy.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 1:25 pm
 
who has a sirloin steak to spare?

at the very least, the boyfriend should treat both roommates to sirloin steaks. bring over a case of beer once in awhile. these are common sense things though, not contractual obligations.

stick a sub sandwich between the mattress and box springs. bring that sirloin steak over here!
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 1:31 pm
 
I wouldn't be free loading off other peoples utilities. That shit is rude and trashy.
i agree. from now on i will be charging my band members for electricity and rent. i think i might even charge a quarter every time they use the toilet, as i wouldnt want anyone free loading off my utilities. glass of water? ten cents.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 1:35 pm
 
This is a financial dilemma for Judge Judy.

plaintiff: she has her boyfriend over all the time and they have loud sex and sleep together.

defendant: he is only here when i am and does not have a key to the apartment.

plantiff: but what about my water bills???

judge judy: get the fuck out of my courtroom!
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 2:13 pm
 
such an impassioned plea for mooching, Bradx. You haven't you made this many keystrokes since your gay-for-jesus days.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 2:26 pm
 
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 2:30 pm
 
i will agree its shitty behavior, especially if he contributes nothing else but there is a strong possibility that the girl is asking him to be there all the time.

when me and my wife first hooked up i had my own place and she had a roommate. we spent all our time together and she preferred to spend it at her place, because my man cave was not so appealing to her. however, i took showers at my own place and she did spend a fair share of time there as well, because i had air conditioning and it was a hot summer.

her landlords lived downstairs and did not like me, it was a big issue for them that i was around all the time as well, and thats when i formed my opinion that as long as i was a guest and they had no prior agreement it was none of their business what guests she had over or when. i didnt have a key, i had my own place, she had the right to have a guest over as often as she wanted.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 2:57 pm
 
that's so romantic you ol' softie.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 4:00 pm
 
i agree. from now on i will be charging my band members for electricity and rent.
They are over 7 nights a week and also sleep at your place 7 nights a week? How do you have time for this?
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 4:28 pm
 
i have no other life.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 4:33 pm
 
Why don't they stay at his place once and awhile? More than likely the reasons are either he doesn't have a place or he has roomates he doesn't want to impose upon...either of which means it's bullshit he doesn't cough up some dough.


I never thought the day would come, but...I agree with Eric.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 4:37 pm
 
sure, or maybe its because SHE would rather them spend the time at HER place???
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 4:46 pm
 
straight single men seldom have the most attractive living quarters...
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 5:07 pm
 
Brad, what if THESE TWO were your mooching roommates?
http://www.rotatingcorpse.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/juggalos.jpg
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 5:18 pm
 
i refuse to have roommates.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 5:45 pm
 
who has a sirloin steak to spare?

The roommate's steak, of course. If your roommate cant afford steak (sirloin, at that) then you shouldn't have moved in with them the first place.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 8:41 pm
 
busty jailbait juggalo and her 85 lbs bf. That changes the equation.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 10:28 pm
 
You know bradx, you really had me going for a while with a couple reasonable points and I was backtracking on everything I had originally thought and planned...and then she (my roommate) came in tonight without her boyfriend and I thought maybe I should just let everything go, pay my full rent, and move out in peace.

Then, 30 minutes later he came in with his own set of keys. Thread over.
Posted: Jun 2, 2011 10:51 pm
 
100% agreed.
Posted: Jun 3, 2011 1:20 am
 
lollllllzzzz. put the smack down!!!
Posted: Jun 9, 2011 10:26 am
 
I remember this one from a cheating boyfriend revenge column in Cosmo 15+ years ago...

If she has a brass or iron bed with hollow posts, unscrew the finials and drop a bunch of frozen shrimp in there. That way, you've got a few hours to make your escape and another while before they start stinkin'. Her BF will think she smells like prawns.

It's par for the course that your roommate's boyfriend will spend a lot of time around your place, but if she was a total b, then I say it's fair.
Posted: Jun 9, 2011 11:50 am
 
I'm currently in a similar situation, but I'm on a completely different take on it, PROBABLY because my roomie's GF is cool as fuck.

GF: No job. Lives with gramma (haha, no, she lives with at my house)

HOWEVER, GF just bleached the bathroom. GF sweeps the floor. GF helps with yardwork, cooks, and is generally cool as shit.

Loud sex all the time? Sure. But I'm half deaf anways. Also, my roomie's cool with me moving a chick into my room just to keep things square, again, AS LONG AS SHE'S NOT A BITCH.

I think the problem is more that you live with assholes than who comes over or how long they stay. If dude bothered to make peace with you at all, you probably wouldn't feel this way.
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