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Goner Message Board / ???? / What were you before you were a goner?
douche hercules
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 4:19 am
Hereís my mediocre idea: rock and roll has a very difficult time managing to be any good because every style and subgenre of rock is inherently awful. Friendless music nerds love nothing more than endlessly subcategorizing their record collections until theyíre absolutely sure that no two albums inhabit the same subgenre; no matter how broad or specific one chooses to get, one will find that thereís simply no style of rock music thatís anything but unlistenable garbage.

The more I think about the project of cataloguing and systematically disparaging each of these subgenres, the more I realize that itís an impossible task due to the approximately eight trillion subgenres that music nerds have come up with. In the interest of this not taking more hours to write than Iím willing to invest, Iíll just hit some of the highlights.


Grunge, Northern Exposure style.
Do you know why so many twenty- and thirty-somethings nowadays yearn for the era when grunge ruled America? Itís because back then it was fashionable to be a loser. You could roll out of bed in yesterdayís clothes, tell your dad to go fuck himself, and head to the coffee joint to peer at your stubbly reflection in some thrillingly disheveled girlís glasses. It was like being a hippie, except you didnít have to care about anything (except maybe AIDS or abortion, and even then, only when it was pragmatically necessary to care). It was like being a punk, but you didnít have to worry about being uncool, because everybody was a loser. The music was specially engineered to sound good when listened to from big green bong water-stained couches with ripped upholstery. You didnít have to worry too much when your hero died of a heroin overdose, because the Pacific Northwest was a bottomless reservoir of untapped indie talent, and somebody even more rugged would step up to fill your heroís army boots.
Nadir: The band names. Mudhoney, Pearl Jam, SoundgardenÖ probably the worst band-naming period in history, with the possible exception of the post-grunge scene (Hoobastank has them all beat).


A traditional "punk" haircut.
Punk, of course, is much more than a style of music. This is beneficial, considering how little punk has to offer as music. While it started as an attempt to resuscitate rockís corpse by way of loud, fast, simple songs, it now encompasses pretty much anything that involves the adorable irreverence of youth and/or no talent. In terms of outlets for confused kids to trick themselves into feeling like theyíre a part of something, I guess it beats Christian youth groups: the fashion is slightly better, and at least the guitars arenít acoustic. Itís cute to see kids make elaborate justifications to turn staying out late, drinking, fighting, and fucking into symbols of honorable virtue and emotional purity.
Nadir: Any time a critic or documentary filmmaker asks someone to define punk. Through all the stammering, it will always turn into a ridiculous quasi-spiritual speech about community and passion.


Ian Curtis demonstrating the vitality of post-punk.
If the term ďpost-punkĒ sounds stupid and nondescript to you, youíre on the right track. Itís tough to describe just what post-punk is. Maybe UK punks realized that they were having too much fun and should concentrate harder on spreading their half-understood notions of Marxism through music. Maybe they thought punk music wasnít abrasive enough, so they felt the need to add some dorky dub basslines and clattering drums. Perhaps it was a pity-based humanitarian effort to create a style of music so ridiculous that not even poor Mark E. Smith would be laughed out of it. However it came to be, post-punk still holds some sort of imaginary relevance to a certain type of guy in cuffed jeans, and quite a few new bands seem to be enthralled by the styleís endless possibilities for intellectual posturing; be sure to read the latest issue of NME if youíre in the mood to read lazy critics mistake Art Brut or Selfish Cuntís tedious, affected nihilism for cleverness.
Nadir: I once saw a Bauhaus video in which Peter Murphy walked up to a coffin on the stage and threw it open. Light spilled out of it, and he pulled a cape up over his face as if to protect his eyes. Now thatís comedy.

American Indie Rock

Well, first of all, Iíd better head the ďbut indieís not a genre!Ē nerds off at the pass: shut up, you. Donít pretend not to know exactly what Iím talking about when I say ďindie rock.Ē It means white kids with guitars playing slapdash lo-fi pop songs about spatulas. You know, Sebadoh, Guided by Voices, Pavement, et al. Sure, there are plenty of musical approaches within the American indie rock scene (some bands sound like broken vacuum cleaners trying to suck up The Beach Boys and some sound like broken vacuum cleaners trying to suck up The Kinks), but theyíre all just differently-textured turds in the same befouled milkshake. There are a thousand indie labels churning out the same clamorous bullshit, and ten thousand indie bands stabbing at their guitar pickups with screwdrivers to get them to make that perfect irritating hum. There are a million brain-dead hipsters trying to one-up each other with their advance knowledge of the latest group of shaggy unemployables to get signed to Sex Blister Records by virtue of their super-ironic Casiotone sound and their unimpeachable haircuts.
Nadir: Impossible to determine. No matter how bad the lo-fi crap Iíve heard is, thereís bound to be something out there thatís even crappier and loíer-fi.


Between this and post-punk, I think Iíve come up with a new rule: basically, adding ďpostĒ to a style of music just means ďwith all the fun taken out of it.Ē Post-rock is all the stuff that gets shuffled off into its own little category so that people with an interest in actual rock music donít have to worry about it. Post-rock records ought to come with warning labels so that music fans donít accidentally buy them. God forbid anybody looking for a good time should ever accidentally buy a Godspeed You Black Emperor record. It would be disastrous. Or, suppose somebody who wanted to dance accidentally picked up Talk Talkís ďLaughing StockĒ instead of one of their earlier sane records; the flailing of limbs which might result in trying to keep up with the weirdy-beardy syncopation and floppy guitars could put the listener in danger of serious dislocations.
Nadir: Never has there been a duller record than Mogwaiís ďYoung Team.Ē And yeah, Iíve heard classical music.


I refuse to believe that modern hardcore fans actually enjoy music on any level. I think they like the idea of music, but I donít think they like music. They like guitars and concerts and bands and tight pants, but music is really just not involved in any part of the process. Theyíve cut out the middleman and headed straight for the part with ringing ears and drinking and getting laid. Some of them lately have even gone so far as to cut out the parts about drinking and getting laid, too. I canít tell whether itís genius or madness, honestly.
Nadir: It honestly bewilders me.


Emo Phillips, originator of Emo.
I swear, there is no musical term more abused than ďEmo.Ē Not that Emo doesnít deserve all the abuse anyone can throw at it and more, but people just seem to get it wrong when it comes to Emo. Iíve had people e-mailing me and calling things like Coldplay and Evanescence ďEmoĒ when they have about as much to do with Emo as Ludacris has to do with polka. Look, kids: Emo isnít just anything whiny or shitty or emotional. Emo is a whiny, shitty, emotional thing all its own. Believe it or not, itís an offshoot of hardcore with a history too tedious to relate in a snappy paragraph. It ranges from simply lame (The Get Up Kids, Braid) to frighteningly unworthy of human consumption (Capín Jazz, Rites of Spring). Mistakenly calling something like The Smiths Emo isnít just a music-nerd faux pas, it degrades the power of an extremely disgusting word. It just makes me want to say ďno, you donít understand. You havenít heard Emo. Itís much worse than you think. Be afraid.Ē
Nadir: Emo is its own nadir.


A famed Britpop dandy.
British people, heartbroken by the fact that they were too effete to make Grunge, had to come up with an equally iconic style of music in the nineties as a matter of national pride. Out of this necessity was born Britpop, which allowed English musicians to be as square and effeminate as they wanted while still doing enormous amounts of cocaine. It didnít make much of an impact in America, aside from our brief national flirtation with tolerating Oasis (as it turns out, not a good idea), but the UK is still just as menaced by its shadow as America is by the shadow of Grunge. Britpop was something of a cultural phenomenon in the UK, unfairly and mistakenly convincing a generation of youths that it was cool to be English. Bands like Suede, Blur, and Pulp gayed up the country for a few years and then petered out, making room for even lamer bands like Coldplay and Travis. Stylistically, Britpop was pretty much just guitar pop with exaggerated English accents (uh, no, not like Green Day).
Nadir: Brett Andersonís voice being recorded so that people might listen to it. I shudder at the thought.


Shoegaze is, of course, named for the musiciansí tendency to stare at their shoes while performing. Some might say itís because the complex nature of the guitar style required the musicians to constantly fiddle around with countless foot pedals, but Iíd like to submit that they just didnít want to look their audience in the eyes due to the overwhelming shame of the music they were producing. A more accurate name for the style would be ďcacophonous dinĒ or ďthe sound of two bands playing at once, underwater.Ē I do own a copy of Rideís ďGoing Blank Again,Ē though. I turn the speakers to the floor and use it to scare raccoons out from under my house.
Nadir: Kevin Shields got really fat, and I never get tired of pointing it out.

Wow, all that writing and I still havenít even scratched the surface of all the crazy types of music you idiots listen to. Maybe if a bunch of you write in and say ďwell I listen to gnome rock and you didnít cover thatĒ or ďbut what about snappercore?Ē Iíll write another one of these guides. Otherwise, Iíll just sit back and bask in the brilliant warmth of my own superiority. If you have questions or comments or ridiculous complaints, you can direct them to davidthorpe@somethingawful.com and Iíll print your letters out and tack them to my wall and throw darts at them while the girl you had a crush on in high school tenderly massages my shoulders.

Posted: Jan 21, 2005 4:27 am
I'm listening to Charlie Rich at the moment. Any thoughts?
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 4:27 am
What were you before you were a goner? I was poor! Now that I'm a GONER, I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams. Infact, I'm having my "help" type this for me as I speak. On the back of my newley furnished yacht of course. Good help is so hard to find these days. You understand what I'm saying don't you?
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 4:27 am
i haven't gotten past "grunge" yet. great description of that genre but it always pisses me off when people lump Mudhoney in with Pearl Jam and Soundgarden and Tad and all that other crap. Mudhoney is rock'n'roll. One of my all time favorite bands. I've said this before but if Mudhoney was on Crypt instead of Sub Pop you would be praising them! nothing personal dutch...

ok..i will continue reading on...

red eyed willie
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 4:40 am
Preachin' to the choir.

Pretty good though. Funny at parts.
You copy that from somewhere or lose your job this morning?

douche hercules
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 4:42 am
copied from davidthorpe@somethingawful.com
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 4:49 am
funny that you included britpop...haha. that's like oasis and blur and shit. which has nothing to do with anything cool

i';m drunk

i like the wipers

Posted: Jan 21, 2005 4:53 am
This is a great thread, and this is the greatest website on Earth. I am in a much better mood than when this day started because I looked at the Goner board. You guys are way funnier than most shit on TV or in magazines. I didn't get anything done at work but it was worth it. Thank you Goners, and thank you Eric.
red eyed willie
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 4:55 am
If you get a twenty year old I-know everything-already hipster to read that they will undoubtedly come at you with the "you just don't like anything" response.

I can never combat that one (not that it matters) 'cause if you try to explain that you love tons of music including old R&B, Punk Rock, all kinds of jazz, soul, old blues, old rockabilly etc, etc. they get a puzzled look and say, "oh, so you only like oldies?" as if the whole cannon of music before their shitty arrogant insecurity-rock came along is all just Ricky Nelson or something.

Posted: Jan 21, 2005 4:58 am
that's a good question although I'm not sure what the text has to do with it. when I was a young man I'd have said I was a "punk". there are too many associations with blink 141 or sum 182 to even use the word punk in front of strangers these days. the only other term I can think of to discribe myself is "rocker", but then people want to talk about the current rap metal sensatation that I've never heard of.
I'm glad to be a goner.
red eyed willie
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 4:59 am
What was I before I was a goner?
I was not for this world.
Stop the world!
Let me off this crazy ball!!!
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:05 am
fuck all you faggots.
';ll shoot you in the head with my gun

fuck you

u like queers i dojn't


i ghot a big di9ck

Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:05 am
fuck all you faggots.
';ll shoot you in the head with my gun

fuck you

u like queers i dojn't


i ghot a big di9ck

bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:05 am
I think Mudhoney is a great name. They really don't bear much resemblence to Crypt bands at all though.

Shoegazer and Britpop? Douche's that wish they could touch the utter genius of The Beatles' "It's All Too Much" (Harrison, from the Yellow Submarine LP).

Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:07 am


Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:09 am
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:15 am
BOZOKA JOE is a gay name. I'm glad it's not mine! Get alcohol poisoning...

And I really like Mudhoney alot.

Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:17 am
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:17 am
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:31 am
charlie rich? he sure can sing, that sonuvabitch. so that ought to give it up, im a tom waits fag. big time.
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 7:05 am
Before I was a Goner I was a dorky 17 year old virgin who dug Crypt records and 70's punk........so I guess I've always been GONE!!!!!!!!
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 7:17 am
I've always loved this:

This page powered by richard martin colin mark hardy dr mike condon beer willie nelson pagans ramones guitar wolf country teasers revelators country rockers rudi hegenaur impala bo diddley andre williams james brown guadalupana sarah zehr john lee hooker acapulco restaurant back from the graves jerry teel legendary stardust cowboy alice cooper mike federline little richard jim cole SCCC bob bert jeannine mclane yoshimi big S barbecue gal costa roky erickson robert bilbo walker jess franco johnny vomit pretty things neckbones clint howard the church of shooting yourself kristen shaggy lyres rufus thomas flat duo jets rock n roll trio gabby pahinui bu laia cheater slicks gary wilson johnny guitar james & d'lana nolan strong & diablos careena collins savage mag supercharger don knotts gus' chicken marty perez ruth dolly parton tequila loretta lynn fugs noel at continental club misfits ronnie dawson zeros tampax dirtys larry williams barry & the remains saints donnas vodka 5678s rl burnside gilberto gil ugly things jeroen vedder beat takeshi drags ellen's chicken thin lizzy stephan & dirk caetano veloso goats scary sara prince vince art phag chop socky pharoah sanders cozy corner ribs zac & amy link wray heart heart sob metal mike gary glitter hasil adkins dan ball aretha s willmott brides duke ellington calexico high rise mullens charo greg the bull noll johnny cash kelly keller ? and mysterians cheap trick ultra hentch deadly mantis eye elenor roosevelt four johns lina romay marvin gaye chuck berry joan jett swamp rats otis redding detroit cobras tammy wynette shannon motteler jay hinman dirty pictures of nice women phil hendrie metallica real kids jan terry hank williams rob t insane public access tv john coltrane chris walker baby huey thomas jefferson slave apartments MOTO charles mingus rex margaritas jason williams kraftwerk john lee hooker miles davis fun things the blob kaleo clone defects andy flying bomb vom green sea turtles vanessa del rio andria lisle ron wood & the other stones the gong show missy chain gang elvis p aerosmith 20/20 zac & amy ives jon wayne jr kimbrough ronettes king joe bruce lee tim kerr jay reatard all the nice pretty girls graffiti rock jim beam ike & tina lyres gories J9 derby & masunaga missing links os mutantes shelby & gina trio royal pendletons nathaniel mayer msr jeffrey evans & 68 comeback howlin wolf wanda jackson chuck barris miss sarah pat hare rocktober mag headcoats money-makin' manhattan marvin gaye billy lee riley gun club george jones downliners sect tim warren sun ra dm bob & defecits monks duke ellington van halen pack teengenerate cordell jackson paynes bar-b-que deadly snakes ex-oblivians fans early lazy cowgirls lightning missy beat-man merle haggard suicide spacemen 3 esquirita joe tex peter guralnick you and the excited, soulful folks who give us strength to make it through another day and want to live one more... thanks

Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:01 pm
Yeah, I think that lil' text on the main page sum's up about everyone of us. My first record I ever bought was ACDC - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap when I was 6 or so. I saved up my allowence because I was intrigued by the black bars over the people's eyes. When I was about 10 or 12, I got into Rat Pack stuff and old country. After that I got into 70s/80s punk and thrash when started to skate. Hell, I even went through an industrial phase that got me into noise and experimental. I went back to my listenin' to ol' country/rockabilly/ol' soul. Now I listen to about everything. So I think not only just 'cause we post on this board, but due to our wide taste in music, the only way to describe ourselves is Goners....
Womb Raider
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:03 pm
I'm a soul man, sort of like James Belushi.
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:28 pm
I was much nicer.
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 5:29 pm
i read this post last night around midnight, from douche hercules' amazing beginning to bj's pasting of eric's List of Honor, and it was brilliant.
moody prick
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 6:15 pm
I caught a day off and am currently thinking about my Kelvinator full of PBR as a preemptive strike against a day in bed with a screaming hangover. On deck right now: Sly Stone mumbling through It's a Family Affair off of some bootleged TV shows. ALL THE SQUARES GO HOME!
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 6:18 pm
How many bands have used that Goner word catch on thier my space page?

I started out into GNR and The Crue, and because of them got into Sex Pistols and The Ramones...then Nirvana hit, and for a few minutes I got into them, but if you had a chance to hear New Bomb Turks or Teengenerate and a host of other bands...you knew that that shit had more balls and merit than anything happening in the so mainstream alternative culture....

Did anybody buy records before they were a Goner? That's when the music industry was tring hard to kill vinyl.

moody prick
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 6:29 pm
oh yeah, was there a question in there? I missed it as I choked on my toast. I DO SO LOVE how Blur's biggest hit, in Canada anyway, was that annoyingly catchy RIFF that ended up as a beer commercial and one more song for Hard Rock bar bands to drop in their set between AC/DC and Zep covers (to appease the one member of the band with a girlfriend)
Ummm, I guess I listen to MOOD music. Time to get fucked up/eat/drunk/laid/drive a car/wake up/whatever music. As long as it does something, my door is open.
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 6:31 pm
I've always bought wax but I think I stopped buying cd's completely at 23, about 8 years ago.
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 6:36 pm
I've been buyin' records since I was 6, but then I got away from it when cds became affordable and all the shit I was listenin' to was only available on cassette or cd, but I continued to buy vinyl out at garage sales/thrift stores/flea markets. I still occasionally pick up a cd, but would rather vinyl over cd anyday.

Joe, ya gotta hook me up with schematics on those racks. Ever since I moved out here, I got all of my records back from my parents house along with all of the shit I've been buyin' recently so my current storage is becomin' limited. I'm gettin' my own place come May so I'll have room for a big ass display like yours... so gimme!

bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 6:42 pm
Yeah dude, I'll measure 'em up for you. There were a bit pricey though. Still each one holds about 400 LPs up top and 300 below (spine out not face forward).
moody prick
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 6:56 pm
Joe - post the measurements here. GONER Hobby Shop! The sequel to the cookbook!
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 6:58 pm
I can do it Sunday at the earliest...
satanic war chicken
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 7:01 pm
when i was little i used to listen to my dads old r$b records.when i was five my cousin turned me on to kiss,and ever since then i've been a rocker.when i was twelve i listened to iron maiden,and all that metal stuff,then i got into thrash,and started to skate.then when i was thirteen or so afriend of mine turned me on to the misfits,and all through high school i was a punker.but then i got into anarcho punk and black metal.
now i listen to rawk,and punk,and whatever sounds good.
but my real passion is new age/free jungle/house/neo jazz/white boy blues/rock fusion.
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 7:29 pm
Did you build racks like the ones you got from Tower? Those are still here collecting dust and bad records at the Chez. Gotta chime in on the Mudhoney.
Great band with great name. Thanks to my dad, I grew up listening to pretty much only to old country, the Who, the Beatles, the Stones and the oldies station. My brother gave me a Sex Pistols tape when I was 12. He then kept giving me more tapes and records to check out. I owe a lot to him and my dad.
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 7:36 pm
I thought Damien Zabona took those racks? He was supposed to get them. I can't believe he woulda left 'em there... Your and red eye are welcome to 'em!
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 7:39 pm
Maybe he took one. I think there are still two, but possibly only one. We may take em. Between the two of us, we may have the records covered. It depends also on the size of the place we get.
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 7:45 pm
The size of the place *WE* get?


Todd Trickknee
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 7:48 pm
Didn't any of you 30+ yr old people have 8 tracks? When I was a wee nipper, Ma & Pa wouldn't let me touch the vinyl, but I could "spin" the portable 8 tracks (Beatles, Beach Boys, KISS, CCR) all I wanted. Those fucking things sucked! I know there's an ironic hipster cool to 'em now, but they were lumbering pieces of shit.

When I got into grade school, they bought me a portable rec player, and I picked up Cheap Trick and more KISS and spun their Johnny Cash & Buddy Holly records. Really, beyond KISS (fuck 'em) and the Beatles (some good stuff, though), I was raised on OK music. The two of them now like the crappiest crap in the universe, but John and Sherry were rockers at one point. Mr. Trickknee even judged/MC'd the Door County Battle of the Bands from 1965-1969 (or something close to that), a fact I just learned within the last year. He told me that the Morticians won in 1967. They dressed like undertakers and drove around in a hearse with "Morticians" emblazoned across the doors. I guess they had a lot of originals about "spooky" stuff. Unfortunately, they became the "country rock" Birminghams during the 70s and sounded like Poco, like all the bands from the time, and Mr. TK only wants to talk about country nowadays. Oh well.

bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 7:54 pm
Damn did he grow up in Door County? Weird man...

My moms had an 8 track player in her car when I was about 4 yrs old. I've only ever owned an 8 track player once and it melted the fuckin' plastic wheen in the top of my goddamned SILVER APPLES 8 track! Yes, I own the Silver Apples 1st LP on 8 track. I also got a sealed copy of Perrey and Kingsley's In Sound From Way Out and Lalo Shcifirn's More Mission Impossible!

The Hand
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 8:29 pm
I played drums on the twee-est record ever made:
And this DIY record in the 80s

And played on a New wave record
And made a pretend 60s freakbeat record that still turns up on lists as an original 60's freakbeat record (the Insects)
And some more that I can't find on the internet.
And smoked a lot of grass.
The Hand
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 8:30 pm
as you can tell by the picture
Todd Trickknee
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 8:30 pm
I have Runt "The Ballad Of Todd Rundgren" on 8-Track, but nothing like Silver Apples...is it "Contact" or the first one? Anyway, yeah, John & Sherry grew up in Sturgeon Bay, a town of 8,000 or so, and the only place in Door County zoned for chain stores/restaurants. Millions of people travel there every summer, but there isn't a McDonalds or Holiday Inn to be found. It is a weird place, for sure. I spent my first 14 years in Sturgeon Bay, and then moved up to Fish Creek. In the summer, there are thousands of people bumper to bumper, and in the winter, one cop patrols the whole county. Much boredom and mischief. The fact that there apparently were '66 style garage bands in a place like Sturgeon friggin' Bay is fascinating to me, but I haven't been able to dig much up.
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 8:35 pm
I already said 1st LP, numbnuts...
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 8:38 pm
Further proof that the Hand has always been, and will always be, a rocker.
honkey donkey
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 9:03 pm
i have a ton of 8 tracks and a player, lightning hopkins is the crown jewel, i also have cheap trick, get the knack, 1910 fruitgum company, i dunno tons of em i never listen to, pink floyd animals even...
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 9:28 pm
I lived in Door County for a week!
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 9:30 pm
Me too! I swam in Lake Michigan for four straight hours cuz the water was so nice.
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 9:35 pm
I lived in Cook County for a week once. Norah, e-mail me if you're still looking for a place to stay next weekend. I think Rev. Dan and Dutch Hercules are canceling on me.
It's analogloyalist@bellsouth.net
honkey donkey
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 9:41 pm
wow this turned into the "i lived in door county" thread. cool. i lived there for a month, and quickly got a show on sturgeon bay cable access, borrowing the equiptment to do a nice shot of thee headcoats when they were in green bay... then they fired the station manager, i lost my show, and moved to two rivers. nobody else lived there, did they?
moody prick
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 9:51 pm
Fuck yeah I had 8 tracks. Radio sucked as bad then as it does now. Other than the soul station out of Buffalo there was SFA to listen to in the car unless Elton John or the Guess Who got you wet. I used to buy 'em cheap out of a used bin at Muntz - soundtracked my grade 13 cruising (1969 Chev Impala) Off the top of my head: Eddie Cochran, New York Dolls, Lou Reed Transformer, Roxy Music Stranded, Stooges Funhouse, Velvet Underground 1969, some Blue Oyster Cult, Best of Black Oak Arkansas and The Stone's Goat's Head Soup.
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 9:54 pm
The freakin landscaping crew wants a raise now. Something about the rising price of guac or somethin??!! Pass the Grey Pupon please. AND SMILE DAMMIT! (good help is so hard to find these days...)
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 9:54 pm
Ken, Yeah, I can't make it down! I was hopin' I could put off payin' some bills, but instead MORE bills popped up so it killed my dream on makin' it down there... Maybe this Spring or Summer I'll be able to come down...
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 9:59 pm
Avocados are WAY too expensive.
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 10:08 pm

So does Martel's aunt Nina. Or something.

Posted: Jan 21, 2005 11:33 pm
did you date any of my ex-boyfriends?

before i was a goner i was just as i am now- a nerd but now i'm a more conected nerd in a comunity of like minded others who enjoy insulting each other and telling dick jokes on the computer. its sickly comforting.

Womb Raider
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 11:44 pm
yeah, it's the door county connection baby!! I stayed there in southern Door with my aunt and uncle for maybe two weeks in the early 90's. lots of cherries, lots of fairies.
red eyed willie
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 11:54 pm
I knew styx was an undercover metalhead stoner. I just had a hunch about it.
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 11:56 pm
See you didn't know him as Chris Alienator or Dr. Sardonicus. It's no secret dude!
red eyed willie
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 11:57 pm
Joe, how much is an avocado these days out where the hispanics aren't Mexican (cept you)?
Even down here they're gettin' ta be like two bucks a piece!
red eyed willie
Posted: Jan 21, 2005 11:59 pm
By the way, this thread is the best for weeks. Keep the stories comin' y'all.
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 12:00 am
I have Nazz Nazz on 8-track. Oh, yeah..
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 12:02 am
Now I know that neither of us is working right now, Grant. Check the time.
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 12:04 am
'cados is about 2 bones everywheres...
red eyed willie
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 12:04 am
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 12:36 am
jesus...sorry about those posts from last night. that's embarrassing. like some riptearit2000 shit or somethin.
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 12:40 am
one of my favorites was you telling joe to "meet you at the maple tree" or some such shit like that. Funny stuff dan!
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 12:44 am
even funnier was that I went there and you didn't show up! PUSSY!
bazooka joe
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 12:51 am
Hey speakin' of Goner Hobby Shop books, red eyed willie is as sick at carpentry as m.h. is at whatever the frig she do... an artiste in his own right!
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 12:52 am
naw really though...i just woke up. i had to call off work today, which really pissed my boss off. anyway, i gotta go clean up a bunch of puke off my carpet now...

but i still say it would have made more sense if Mudhoney was on Crypt or Sympathy or Estrus (actually i think they did relase some singles on Sympathy, maybe)

Joe Pestilence
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 1:15 am
(Door Slamming) *huff,puff* Hey guys! Just got here! Ran all the way from work! WHEW!

OK,caught my breath... That list of folks on the front of the Goner site just reminds me that i'm w/ my kinda peoples! Nothing else makes sense...

Yeah,fuck a buncha Micro-Genres! Sun Ra is Punk and Throbbing Gristle is Good Time Rock n'Roll!!! Really.

Posted: Jan 22, 2005 2:16 am
He forgot noise rock:
There's a page of punk rock eight track tapes but I couldn't dig it up....
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 2:26 am
I was alive.
cow boy
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 2:28 am
Damn, I wanted to say that.
Posted: Jan 22, 2005 8:20 pm

Prolapse, not safe for work.
dutch hercules
Posted: Jan 24, 2005 5:46 am
i was a booger picker.
Posted: Jan 24, 2005 2:45 pm
I worked inna doorknob factory!

Here's my bio from www.rocksbackpages.com, for what it's worth!

Joss Hutton was spawned near Leicester, and received a thorough rockíníroll baptism from two cousins - a former secretary of the Booker T fan club, and a fan of Nuggets, the MC5, The Ramones, The Saints, The Kinks and The Yardbirds.

Thus doomed, and imbued with the spirit of such early interviewees as Steve Marriott ("Send me any more questions and Iíll throttle you, ya c*nt! Love, Steve.") and Billy Childish (Q: What colour socks are you wearing? A: "Iím not wearing any socks."), the underachieving hickís teen years saw him publishing fanzines, running a successful club night, and promoting gigs. Unsurprisingly, Joss spent most of his school years looking out the window, wishing he was in the Pretty Things, and so ended up working in a doorknob factory. However, a chance encounter with a genuine Ramone at Leicester bus station soon gave him the courage to recklessly reject a glowing future in architectural ironmongery, and he fled to London with a retarded teenage beat combo.

Between gigging around the UK and Europe, Joss found time to run another loud and lewd club night, plus a record label, which released the first musical fruits from the world-famous Toe Rag Studios. He also occasionally dressed up as a chicken (and other exotic beings), to help out maverick promoter and filmmaker Josh Collins.

Joss then led nasty-assed Dictators-style punk combo Problem Hair, who so annoyed a certain eager A&R drone with their hysterical laughter at the idea of being on the same label as Leo Sayer, that he ended up telling his quarry to "f*ck off".

Jossís next task was to marshal a new editorial team for legendary mag Bucketful Of Brains, which they successfully re-launched during 1995. Jossís tenure at BoB saw him comprehensively profile the likes of Dan Penn & Spooner Oldham, Dr John, Matthew Sweet, Andre Williams, Red Kross, Sparklehorse, Teenage Fanclub and Jim Dickinson.

Itís now been a happy seven years since Joss started penning weekly pieces for the Guardian Guide, but his tenure with Kerrang!, The Face and X-Ray was far shorter, and morally crippling, involving the type of know-nothing, self-aggrandizing twonks that heíd always studiously avoided.

Having gracefully withdrawn from paying music journalism, Joss continues to work as an entertainment-related editor, and as a writer for RBP, the I-94 Bar and Perfect Sound Forever. He also proudly co-runs Londonís superlatively rockiní Sonic Reducer club nights (www.theboogaloo.org), which attract such guest DJs as Michael Davis (MC5), Tim Rogers (You Am I) and Ben Ayres (Cornershop). Under the moniker of the Sonic Reducer Tag Team, Joss and co-conspirator Joe P have also served as The Detroit Cobrasí tour DJs, and enlivened gigs by the likes of Big Star, DKT-MC5, Arthur Lee & Love, Radio Birdman, The Soundtrack Of Our Lives, The Vines, You Am I and Panther Burns.

Joss remains an indolent sot with few regrets, and claims to divide his time between Archway and Memphis, yet spends the majority of his time smoking and laughing at cats.

Posted: Jan 25, 2005 3:25 am
Posted: Jan 25, 2005 6:13 am
Posted: Jan 25, 2005 8:23 am
I was a Blind Vinecian
Posted: Jan 25, 2005 10:12 am
blind venetian
monkey uma
Posted: Jan 26, 2005 1:13 am
i was a virgin!
Wang Chung
Posted: Jan 26, 2005 1:34 am
Oh man! hahah ok! Don't like much to say this public but I was pretty much jail person since 17 after run away from home at 8 to do Radio Birdman cover band. Why come? Ok was killing girl on tour. Lesson learned, growing up alot since then. Thank you for share.
Crystal Lake
Posted: Jan 26, 2005 1:41 am
I was a lot more productive at work.
Greg Lowery
Posted: Jan 26, 2005 1:49 am
I was working as a youth counselor for young boys, volunteering at an after school shelter. Well, somebody who deserves a pretty big spanking said something that was very untrue, and I had to move out of state. Same thing happened in Mi. with a kid who's supple bare butt I ought to beat black and blue for making up fairy tales about what we did, so I ended up in Ca. and formed Supercharger with my freinds Dar and Kare. Been here ever since, though I occasionally weekend in Cambodia and East China to scope out new help for around the house. If you will excuse me, it's time for my foot scrubbing/hot bath. Lao! Get in here!
Posted: Jan 26, 2005 9:21 pm
a promising young adult.
Posted: May 12, 2012 10:26 pm
how does one become a goner?
Posted: May 12, 2012 10:28 pm
and once you become one, how might one confirm it?
Posted: May 13, 2012 12:43 am
dimebag beat me to "i was alive" by 7 1/2 years. dang
Posted: May 13, 2012 10:34 am
so what's it like, being dead
Posted: May 13, 2012 10:43 am
bring your delectable brains closer and find out
Posted: May 13, 2012 12:34 pm
Before I was a goner. I was a MAD MAN.
Posted: May 13, 2012 2:36 pm
A Gonad..
Posted: May 14, 2012 5:03 am
bring your delectable brains closer and find out

no, what should I take with me in my bag
you know
the one I put together for the leaving going back

anybody seen it by the way?
Posted: May 14, 2012 7:53 am | Edited by: tigerblinds
Here is a good book on the subject of honkies destroying Rocknroll...it's accurate and astute. Honkies like categories, honkies like auteurs.

I was born Goner!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/aug/22/beatles-destroyed-rocknrol l-elijah-wald
Posted: May 14, 2012 7:57 am
Posted: May 14, 2012 9:24 am
So you're a fake gangsta nigga now, a white nigger? Move to Amsterdam, that act is very hip overthere.
No wonder you have never told us what you actually do in the weekends.
Learning ebonics!
I'm gonna test you soon on that, Vice T.
Posted: May 14, 2012 9:59 am
Looks like a fun read.
Does it also say that Sjostakovitsj invented rock 'n roll in his 8th symfony? Cause he did.
Posted: May 14, 2012 10:07 am
This is weird, posting like TB, but in other news: the new Roy & the Devil's Motorcycle sucks really bad, on purpose, and it's not fun, and they know assholism is an art, so I am not amused.

Their Forgotten Million Sellers is the one you all MUST have.

Hm, let's see, anything else?
Posted: May 14, 2012 10:12 am
O yeah!

Since I was born dead and the assholedoc chose to actually hit me back to life I have no clue what I was before I was a goner.
Posted: May 14, 2012 11:02 am
What do you know about Ebonics you fucking weak minded little moron?

Did I write "phat" or "doorag?"

Here read this you sad sack of dumbass shit:

Posted: May 14, 2012 11:07 am
Oh I see...you think honkies is specificaly part of the black vernaculr...hmm maybe.

Read this definition of where the word originates from:


Also I understand that you are Dutch, making you one of the stupidest honkey white cultures in the world...way to go representin your people there bub.

France loves you, because anybody in your country with half a brain moves there:

Posted: May 14, 2012 11:28 am | Edited by: tigerblinds
I like definition number six from the Urbandictionary:

6. Honky
A inflammatory insult against European Descended Folks

You see that's you, you dim-witted Dutch honkey!..eat shit and die my man.
Posted: May 14, 2012 11:31 am
Not content on pissing all over every current thread that emerges here Tigerblinds makes the move to also put every thought that might cross his scattered mind onto things past.
Posted: May 14, 2012 11:58 am | Edited by: tigerblinds
Dude my posts were totally pertinent till the dumb ass Dutch Dingle butted in. I'm just assisting his thread suicide....I wish I could assist his real life suicide...I keep trying.
Posted: May 14, 2012 12:33 pm
Roy and the devil's motorcycle's first 10 inch on Beatman's label is pretty solid. That's all I have.
Posted: May 14, 2012 12:34 pm
alway glad to have you back on mondays TB,
I have to change my conclusion of what you do during the weekends though.
I was right in the beginning.
And I do know lots more about ebonics than you.
Silly boy.

I wish I could assist his real life suicide...I keep trying

See, that's the whole problem with you. Everything that you promis or attempt ends in failure. You wont have anything to be proud of, if you look back, just before you hang yourself on a nice sunday evening, cause you're Po-Jama People for life.

First you would come over to shoot me dead. Never saw you. Invited you plenty times.
You never sent me a gun like you promissed, which I need,
if I can't have that cyanidepil, that you also promissed me.

You call that trying?
I call that failing and fuckin shit up and getting into loads of trouble instead.

Posted: May 14, 2012 12:39 pm
O, Greg, maybe you like the new one, cause you're not as big a Hospital/Hunches fan as I am, I guess, but for a masterpiece in the glasbreaking business that older one is a masterpiece. It's like King Louis teaming up and directing The Hospitals.
These records are on Voodoo Rhythm.
Posted: May 14, 2012 12:42 pm
euhm, directing? No sorry.
'Conducting' In this case
Posted: May 14, 2012 1:04 pm
representin your people

The Dutch are not 'my people'.
I despise 'm more than you, mr Payroll Patriot.
Posted: May 14, 2012 1:20 pm
Suck my balls.
Posted: May 14, 2012 1:25 pm | Edited by: tigerblinds
Your Mom is a prostitute...you smell like a goat....you suck ass for pleasure.
Posted: May 14, 2012 1:26 pm
...and most of all you are fucking stupid and very very fucking annoying. If any Dutch person doesn't want to be regarded as a complete moron they should shut you up with a baseball bat...that's all I have to say.
Posted: May 14, 2012 1:31 pm
okay this just got funny again. keep it going dingle!!!
Posted: May 14, 2012 1:40 pm | Edited by: tigerblinds
Shut it BradX unless you want to get dirty also.....

Posted: May 14, 2012 1:46 pm
youre idea of getting dirty is a fucking snoozefest, engaging you wouldnt even serve to sharpen my claws. boring, boring, bullshit. ding is treating you like a little bitch and you love it.
Posted: May 14, 2012 1:50 pm
I made it all the way to the first Rev. Dan post before I realized this wasn't a current thread.
Posted: May 14, 2012 2:01 pm
BradX you might want to keep your big fat mouth shut until you can see your dick or your feet...want more?
Posted: May 14, 2012 2:07 pm
dude, seriously, fat jokes? wow, surely i had better shut the fuck up or you shall truly slay me with your rapier sharp wit. i wont waste my time responding further as a person to whom english is a second language is doing a great job of humiliating you already.
Posted: May 14, 2012 2:15 pm | Edited by: tigerblinds
I don't know what the fuck you are talking about...

The shit about accomplishing nothing? Uh yeah right.

What sets off the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your brain?
Posted: May 14, 2012 2:17 pm | Edited by: tigerblinds
...and damn straight I'm busting out the fat jokes fat head. Push away from the table already.
Posted: May 14, 2012 2:23 pm
Posted: May 14, 2012 2:26 pm | Edited by: tigerblinds
No way that's accurate...fat people got bad sleep apnea.
Posted: May 14, 2012 2:29 pm
But your skin has always been nice.
Posted: May 14, 2012 2:35 pm
Posted: May 15, 2012 12:59 am
how does one become a goner?

Die. Unless you're white. Then you're born dead to begin with.
Posted: May 15, 2012 1:09 am
With the exception of Heebs. They're the only ostensibly white people who aren't born dead.
Posted: May 15, 2012 1:57 am
Well, I'm voting to go on strike today. All the mgmt. are straight up zombies to me. 5-14 was my birthday, didn't tell or bother to remind them since I didn't want to hear any more phony soulless bullshit out of their corn-fed mouths. If any of them were hit by a train, I couldn't feel anything for them no matter how hard I tried. My other job, was bought a cake, and given extra money. Seriously most of the Americans that I know can go eat shit and die.
Posted: May 15, 2012 4:45 am
wanna trade?

I move to America and you move to Holland?

Come on, help an old man out with his last wish. A trailer in some desert is good enough for me.
Posted: May 15, 2012 6:27 am
YeAh ! The grass is always greener on the other Side of the ocean!
Posted: May 15, 2012 6:51 am
and a much better smoke

allright let's do this,
you can have my house, all my books (most are in English anyway) but I wanna take a shitload of music with me, and my speakers and shit, and a fresh pair of underwear.

A cabin in the woods of Big Sur would also be great. Maybe a toerist place but I loved it there: even dope was easy to come by.

Found that little beach where Kerouac goes nuts in his Big Sur (very underrated book). Never more than 5 people there. Sharks a 100 yards away sometimes, tough boys in black swimming in the water and fucking with them.

Yeah, put me up there, in one of those cabins!
Posted: May 15, 2012 7:16 am
Ding I have a spare bedroom, you can easily afford it washing dishes...I can help you, but you have to kiss my ass on here for at least a month. Once you're here, you act out, I take my belt off and wip you with it.
Posted: May 18, 2012 8:59 pm
so where does Geddy Lee fit into all of this?
Posted: May 20, 2012 1:25 pm
Before I was a Goner I was a dorky 17 year old virgin who dug Crypt records and 70's punk........so I guess I've always been GONE!!!!!!!!

And after I was a Goner, I was a 25 year old statutory rapist who dug Crypt records, 70's punk and luring underage girls to my crib via Myspace. Now I've really GONE....to prison!!!!!

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