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Goner Message Board / ???? / I Would Like To Introduce This Phrase Into The Lexicon of English Slang
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 4:44 am
 
"...as useless as a pube on a bar of soap"

This phrase would connote a person who is lazy and/or ineffectual, please promote its use before you hear it in some shitty HBO series. It may be substituted for but will not replace the beloved phrase, "...as useless as chickenshit on pump handle." I realize that no one uses "bars" of soap anymore but I feel its context is universal.

Suggested usage-

"I'll be goddamned, I asked that fucking Likhan Ghosh to prepare the files today but he only did two; instead, he had three smokes without clocking out, even though he managed to send a dozen frivolous E-mails. That bastard is as useless as a pube on a bar of soap."
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 8:24 am
 
i use bars of soap. there's other soap?
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 9:29 am | Edited by: Cole
 
Shower gel. Preferably Axe because it gets you laid in elevators and other public places.
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 9:59 am
 
"...as useless as a pube on a bar of soap"

i'm sticking with "about as fucked up/as useful as a football bat"
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 12:25 pm
 
..useful as tits on a boar was one of my grandmother's faves..
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 4:31 pm
 
how the hell do people not use bars of soap anymore?
Posted: Mar 14, 2010 8:57 am
 
I'm liking that...

My family's version is "no use nor ornament", fer describing useless items or if someone was hopeless in a particular situation.

My great grandma apparently used to describe someone who was useless as "a poor tool"! As a Victorian lady, I'm in no doubt that she wasn't making a dick joke...
Posted: Mar 14, 2010 11:49 am | Edited by: littlemisslinda
 
I don't get it . How were pubic hairs ever useful? You need to shave down there!!!

Try this one...

"As useful as a flacid penis unable to penetrate my lubricated anal cavity."
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