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Goner Message Board / ???? / John Henry & Heather - Static Static - In Jail. Please help them get a lawyer!
Posted: Feb 12, 2010 2:12 pm

This is Panacea - Miss Pussycat. John Henry and Heather are in jail. They were pulled over in Arizona a couple of days ago and are being charged with possession of enough of a controlled substance to put them both in prison for a long time - 5 to 15 years. Arizona is a very very bad state to be charged with anything. Their friends are trying to raise money so that they can both see a lawyer as soon as possible. They go before a judge on Tuesday... yes Fat Tuesday. Their bail is profound . Lawyers ASAP seems much more important.

I have known John and Heather for over ten years. Heather has ben on tour with us to sell merch, Static Static has rocked the Spellcaster many times and I love them both and know they have lots of other friends that love them and would want to help out. Leslie, the drummer for Static Static has a Paypal account to direct donations for a lawyer .

Again, they are set to go before a judge on Tuesday and it is very important that we can get them legal counsel before hand, and beyond. This is horrible and serious and we have to help them however possible.

Send paypal donations to: lesley.lesley@sbcglobal.net


- Miss Pussycat
Posted: Feb 12, 2010 6:14 pm
Oh no! Poor JH and Heather!
Posted: Feb 13, 2010 12:24 pm
Posted: Feb 13, 2010 9:38 pm
I just emailed this link to Lesley but will post it here too...

AZ Criminal Defense Lawyer
Ken Goldberg
I have never had to use him, but he was always in the back of my mind when I lived in AZ if I got in trouble.
I know him personally (not well) and he is the real deal regardless of what his website looks like.


I hope this helps.
My thoughts are with you guys.
Fucking sucks huge shit.
Posted: Feb 14, 2010 11:43 am
An unfortunate aspect of the American criminal legal system is that the quality of your attorney is really important. And the really good ones ain't cheap. The criminal judges at the local level really respond differently to the attorneys they see all the time and that have a good reputation.
Posted: Feb 14, 2010 12:01 pm | Edited by: saispas
An unfortunate aspect of the American criminal legal system is that the quality of your attorney is really important.

Truth. You cannot scrimp on this. A good attorney can get something like this down to Diversion. I'll ask around.
Posted: Feb 14, 2010 5:36 pm
Although we don't know them personally, Kimmie and I are fans their music and we want to help them out.
This is what we can do:
If you order a John Wesley Coleman III "Steal My Mind" LP or a Plexi 3 "Tides Of Change" CD from the Certified PR Records website NOW through Friday, we will donate the funds (minus shipping and paypal fees). - Steve
Posted: Feb 15, 2010 2:34 am
All you need to know about John Henry and Heather is that they are two of the nicest people on the planet and would help out anyone else caught in the same jam....
Posted: Feb 15, 2010 10:51 am
Posted: Feb 16, 2010 11:12 am
does indeed suck to get pulled over in AZ with drugs...AZ is on the list for the "REALLY dont have more on you than you can eat" states along with Oklahoma.
Bad news mang...wish them the best.
Posted: Feb 16, 2010 2:46 pm
im gonna sell all of my life savings of mardi gras beads (at least 10 bags) back to the anex ... that should get some cash...i got rare shit!
Posted: Feb 16, 2010 6:38 pm
Did anyone hear how it went with the judge today?

What a total bummer.
Posted: Feb 16, 2010 11:53 pm
Sorry to come to this so late. Do they have a lawyer?
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 2:09 am
any update?
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 5:50 pm
yes!! john has a lawyer now and leslie is working on getting heather's. that's the best i have for now
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 7:34 pm
email from Lesley.....

"Hi Colby
well, we've pretty much secured an attorney for JH. Just working on Heather now. I should know more tomorrow, as I'm waiting on a phone call now.

Hopefully the couple of Benefit Shows in the works will provide enough to cover the remainder of the costs. Won't know until they happen, though...and some still have to be scheduled. All together, we need about 16,000$.

I will keep everyone posted. I've spoken to them both - they are holding it together pretty well. "
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 6:56 pm
lesley e mail me

Posted: Feb 26, 2010 7:16 am
L.A. Benefit Show:
Mar 26 2010 9:00P
SHOW CAVE with LAMPS, WiZZARD SLEEVE, Francis Harold and the Holograms, Imagine the Band, and Modern Witch also WE OOZE ART SHOW! with Spider DJs (erin and jesse) a BENEFIT FOR JOHN HENRY AND HEATHER of STATIC STATIC Los Angeles, California
Posted: Mar 9, 2010 1:42 pm
I'm hoping this will supply another round of interest in the paypal repost if you feel like it will help... Thanks Lefty
Posted: Mar 9, 2010 4:32 pm
Any updates?
Posted: Mar 10, 2010 2:21 pm

Quintron and Miss Pussycat
Die Rottz
Micro Shards

with (no lie)
Matt Muscle Kissing Booth!

bring your dirty dollars!

Posted: Mar 13, 2010 5:18 am
Paypal subject heading: Legal Fees For Two Stupid Asses Who Need More Advice Than A Lawyer Can Handle

Fuck you, if you donated. If you're going to give money charitably, how about something for that kid from Twin Stumps who got beat up for no reason instead of two dipshits on drugs in Arizona who likely got high 60 minutes after their release if not sooner?

Matt Muscle Kissing Booth

Sweet merciful jesus, how about a liquid nitrogen dunking booth or a "Choke Matt Muscle For 10 Seconds So At Least I Don't Have To Listen To Some Teen-ager Bullshit About 'Real Metal' For 10 Seconds" $5 donation?
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 11:34 am | Edited by: Womb Raider
how about something for that kid from Twin Stumps who got beat up for no reason

Seriously? Sorry, but charities for DOUCHEBAGS WITH NO HEALTH INSURANCE are far worse than trying to keep your friends out of jail.
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 12:55 pm
try and choke me bitch...see what happens.
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 1:24 pm
Matt Muscle Kissing Booth

There had better not be any homosexual behavior. It's an abomination.
Please describe yoursel in detail Matt.


Posted: Mar 13, 2010 2:00 pm
congratulations BUCKET for being a total fucking asshole!
i guess someone always has to step up to be "THAT GUY"
and talk a bunch of shit on some people trying
to help their friends out...
Posted: Mar 14, 2010 1:23 pm
Bucket = Faggot .
Posted: Mar 15, 2010 2:43 pm
There had better not be any homosexual behavior. It's an abomination.
Please describe yoursel in detail Matt.

Republican Guy, are you really Roy Ashburn?
Posted: Mar 25, 2010 12:22 pm
Choke Matt Muscle For 10 Seconds Not suitable punishment. Matt would love it and tell you to make it hurt. Better luck next time Bucket
Posted: Apr 5, 2010 7:36 pm
Two words. Bucket is Gay.
Posted: Apr 7, 2010 7:36 am
Status update??? I'm poor and could only contribute to this or the Haiti relief. I want to know I made the right decision! We're still pulling for you!
Posted: Jun 18, 2010 2:13 pm
try and choke me bitch...see what happens.

Uhhh... You lose conciousness, I cum all over the bottom flap of your shirt as you sputter froth on your own face and chin. Static-Static, the band nobody listens to but is friends with, apparently, gets a lawyer. They show up in Arizona for some idiotic trial and perform some silly shit, then decide never to put the drugs in the gym bag or let a highway patrolman talk you into letting him search ass, like I did when I was 14. "MAN!" they tell their children, "NEVER GO TO ARIZONA! THEY'RE TOTAL NAZIS!"

Um, some dumb cunt posts a mathematic word anomaly...
Posted: Jun 18, 2010 4:25 pm
I'll have a benefit for your extermination, Bucket.
Posted: Nov 21, 2010 11:14 am
Update. They're each serving 2 and a half years, served 9 months already. Will probably get out early for good behavior. I've got their addresses if anybody wants to write them (send me email off board). I'm sure they'd love to hear from any of us... Well, except Bucket.
Posted: Nov 21, 2010 12:32 pm
if they're anywhere near Tucson I'll go visit them and bring them stuff
Posted: Nov 21, 2010 1:38 pm
Heather is in Tucson, JH is in Douglas.
Posted: Dec 1, 2010 10:55 am
can they get pictures?
Posted: Dec 1, 2010 5:55 pm
I think so, probably no nudes though.

Did y'all have yer baby? Somebody disappeared from FB...
Posted: Dec 2, 2010 12:16 am
yes we had Henry Saxon on November 8th. I want to send them a picture
Posted: Dec 2, 2010 4:08 pm
amen lacey!
Posted: Dec 3, 2010 7:42 am
Congratulations B! I guess Henry Absurd sounds kind of stupid.

I've got jasons email, I'll send yall their addresses.
Posted: Dec 3, 2010 9:56 pm
Wow! Bucket's almost as bad as Ida Slapter in the Bob Kondrak RIP thread.

2 years is ridiculous! Hopefully they only have to do 16 months tops with good time.
Posted: Oct 21, 2011 3:36 pm
They are out! Bucket is still a piece of shit!
Posted: Oct 21, 2011 3:56 pm
congrats! weird - i was thinking about this just recently.
Posted: Oct 21, 2011 4:28 pm
How much drugs did they have? Yikes, they were locked up for awhile. Where they fucking mules?
Posted: Oct 21, 2011 5:00 pm
That's great news! Hope they make it back to Memphis some day; that loogie John Henry spat at Gonerfest years ago is STILL on the Hi-Tone curtain.
Posted: Oct 23, 2011 12:02 am
Hey Beef,
Heather is on parole in Tucson for the next three months and doesn't know anybody/looking for work. Can you help a sister out? Even if you don't have job leads, she's lots of fun to hang out with. email me at spleimer a.t. gmail d.o.t. cum

John is in Phoenix for 3 months. I don't know anybody or know anybody who knows anybody there...
Posted: Oct 23, 2011 12:58 am
email sent...will do what I can
Posted: Oct 23, 2011 10:03 am
I'm in Tucson as well...and I can help in some fashion....

prolethirty3 a.t. yahoodotcalm
Posted: Oct 23, 2011 12:14 pm
don't listen to him...he can only wipe somebody's butt
Posted: Oct 24, 2011 12:41 pm
I'm glad they're out! Do they have any contact info yet? Are they allowed to be contacted? I'm Friends w/ John Henry on the Facebooks but i'm not sure if his account's still active.
Posted: Oct 26, 2011 10:36 am
I want to thank eveyone who pulled for Heather and I and let you know that with out your help we both would have been looking at 8 years a piece. We are both out now after 20 total months and I am in Phoenix and Heather is in Tucson. Anyone who has any job leads please contact us here or you can go to my facebook page John Henry Kelly. We'll both be stuck in AZ for at least 3 months for preliminary parole after that we are planning to transfer out of state to N.O. As far as what happened as I know some of you may still not know is that AZ pigs are shaking down out of state drivers on the 40 and the 10 using completley illegel search and siezure tactics. If you would like your constitutional rights shat on just take a drive through Arizona. It just so happens we had an over the threshold amount of cocaine, which is 9 grams in this state, and they found it. We were stopped and searched under false pretense and in handcuffs before any drugs were even found. There's a lot more I can say as far as why but the bottom line is AZ is making money. The prison system in AZ is a huge industry and people are profits. Now with the privitazation of prisons peoples lives are being traded on the stock market. Anyway I hate polotics and the pigs suck, we're out and safe and will be back to rock and roll in no time. Thanks again to everyone and you'll see both of us soon.
Posted: Oct 26, 2011 11:50 am
[i]don't listen to him...he can only wipe somebody's butt[/

And I'm licensed to do so!
Posted: Oct 26, 2011 11:54 am
Oh and for the haters if you think people should do time for possesion of any amount of drugs, you must have a cops nighstick up your ass as your licking his greasy scrotum. If you think drug laws are made to protect society your a fucking moron. This isn't about the drugs anyway it's about friends helping each other out. I absoloutly agree that this was a dumb idea compounded with a wrong place wrong time situation but if you think peoples rights should be shit on you should be posting on the Tea Party site not the Goner Board. My charges were victimless and non repetitive as it states in my paperwork, anyother state I would have done probation. Shit any other state I wouldn't have been pulled us over for doing the speed limit which was stated in my police report as suspicion of criminal activity along with things like dressing too nice for a road trip. I guess you think all those great rock and roll songs about about sex and drugs aren't for you. You must only like nice rock n roll where everyone gets along and the cops hand out flowers on street corners. You dumb
Posted: Oct 26, 2011 4:03 pm
hey JH...talked to Heather and she' doing good it seems besides the ridiculous curfew (6pm) and being stuck on the far side of nowhere. Sent Sambeaux some phoenix numbers for you, and will call you myself when my phone isn't acting all politician/cop like.

Glad you're both out
Posted: Oct 26, 2011 4:19 pm
yeah man get in touch all I need is a job for a few months and this whole thing will be behind us try facebook John Henry Kelly
Posted: Oct 26, 2011 5:57 pm | Edited by: SAMBEAUX
I emailed Heather for your email to fwd them, John. You can email me directly and I'll respond at: spleimer a.t. gmail d.o.t. cum
Posted: Oct 26, 2011 6:07 pm
The prison system in AZ is a huge industry and people are profits. Now with the privitazation of prisons peoples lives are being traded on the stock market.

A huge industry for the USA, period. Billions. This country puts the most people behind bars than anywhere else. The majority are for non-violent (drug) offenses too. The so-called 'war on drugs' = big joke.

Have had friends and blood locked-up. Prison rehabilitation is an absolute crock 'o shit. The system is a revolving-door set-up.

Correctional Corporation of America
Posted: Oct 26, 2011 9:17 pm
This man is absolutley right AZ just happens to be the premiere state for some of the harshest drug laws
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