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Goner Message Board / ???? / The infallible word of God...new and improved!
Posted: Oct 7, 2009 3:38 am
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/10/conservapdia_has_a_new_proj ect.php

The far right wing has long rested their authority on Biblical truth — how can you possibly question them if they speak for God, after all? There is one little problem, however.

The Bible is suffused with liberal bias. A lot of the Old Testament isn't bad, but the New Testament, when Jesus makes the scene, suddenly takes a turn into commie-land, with it's talk of helping the poor and camels and needles and so forth. Jesus was obviously misquoted all over the place.

So what to do? When your claim of godly authority rests on your interpretation of God's holy word, but God's holy words contradict your desired ends, you're in a bit of a pickle. There is a solution, though: rewrite the Bible and change the liberal bits! For this reason some of the deranged editors at Conservapædia have launched The Conservative Bible Project, which will purge the wimpy stuff and return it to it's authentic roots, as a book that could have been written by a dumb-as-a-stick American Republican NRA member who wants to kill communists and A-rabs.

I'm not joking. They cite as reasons for a rewrite the fact that the Bible uses the term "comrade" three times, and acknowledges the existence of laborers thirteen times. It's practically a Marxist/Leninist tract.
Posted: Oct 7, 2009 4:07 am
i do understand their point of view, however, a retranslation of the king james in any form is flawed by design, as the king james itself is a flawed translation. only by going back and translating from the original jewish and greek texts could such a thing be properly accomplished. the idea of jane and joe redneck being able to edit the bible, wikipedia style, is perverse, yet not surprising at all given the right's worship of ideology over substance.

identify the omission of liberal terms for vices, such as "gambling", and identify where they should be used

heh heh. yeah, just change the sin to fit your definition.
Posted: Oct 7, 2009 6:23 am
i mean, the good old king james translation of 2 Kings 18:27 is :

But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?

and these dirty liberals go and corrupt the TRUE WORD OF GOD with their BULLSHIT translations:

But the commander replied, "Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the men sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own filth and drink their own urine?"

you see that shit??? since when are dung and filth the same thing??? praise God the english standard version already has this shit covered.

But the Rabshakeh said to them, "Has my master sent me to speak these words to your master and to you, and not to the men sitting on the wall, who are doomed with you to eat their own dung and to drink their own urine?"

shit and piss. shit and piss.

thats straight bible, yo.
Posted: Oct 7, 2009 6:29 am
kings ain't new testament, lonesome roads
Posted: Oct 7, 2009 6:30 am
"If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the Lord of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart. Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it" (Malachi 2:2-3).

that shit does not need updating. it is just fine, as is.
Posted: Oct 7, 2009 6:33 am
kings ain't new testament, lonesome roads
shame on you for accepting some shitty liberal lefty tree hugger greenie propaganda piece as fact there, beefy.


from the elephant's mouth:
Here lists the 66 books of the Holy Bible to be translated in this project, with the ones having links already being works-in-progress:

or did i miss when GENESIS became part of the new testament???
Posted: Oct 7, 2009 10:47 am
andrew schlafly should have been aborted.
Posted: Oct 8, 2009 3:06 am
here is one i can help out with:

13If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,

14And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:

15Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:

16And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;

17And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.

18And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;

19And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.

20But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:

21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

13 if you are a woman and still live with dad, you had better not be out fucking. 14 God doesnt care if you got knocked up with a bastard child or not, you're gonna get stoned. 15 in fact, that is the lesson of this story. 16 abortion is fine as long as the slut mother dies too. 17 also, jew women are kinda like 18 DVD's, once ya open it, 19 NO RETURNS ACCEPTED. 20 cant forget to mention jews keep their childrens marriage blood sheets or something. 21 pretty sure they eat babies too.
Posted: Oct 8, 2009 3:12 am
pretty sure they eat babies too.

oh yeah, thats deuteronomy 28:53

And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters


rape babys
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