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Goner Message Board / ???? / George Brett shits his pants appreciation thread
Posted: Aug 4, 2009 11:51 pm
 
Posted: Aug 4, 2009 11:54 pm
 
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 3:33 am
 
I remember rumors back in the early 90's that G. Brett was a Quee quee.
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 6:39 am
 
Pine Tar Incident Re-enactment
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 9:55 am
 
I'm a devout St. Louis Cardinals fan and despite '85 the Kansas City Royals were my favorite AL team of the late 80s / early 90s. George Brett, Bo Jackson, Bret Saberhagen, Dan Quisenberry, Tom Gordon, Danny Tartabull, and major league baseball's only player with tourettes, Jim Eisenreich! Awesome! God bless George Brett!
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 10:03 am
 
I just had to get up and leave my desk at work I was laughing so hard.
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 1:16 pm
 
Seen Brett play against The Yankees in 79. Reggie took the night off. Only reason I went.

(The Mets used to call David Cone "George" because after he was traded from The Royals he used to always tell everybody "George used to do this, George used to do that..." )
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 1:48 pm
 
I do appreciate that clip. Yes.
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 4:44 pm
 
Danny Tartabull

Yes indeed! HUGE KC fan back then. Tommy Trouble still is.
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 4:50 pm
 
Daryl Porter caught for The Royals and The Cards back then.
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 4:57 pm
 
The Show-Me Series!

I still say Sundberg was out at home. But Royals completely outplayed the Cards
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 6:13 pm
 
First of all...George ain't no queer. He LOVED the high school ladies back in the day.

Secondly, this clip has been around for a year and a half, and it is funnier than hell. I've even made my mom watch it. She told me that she did "not find smut amusing."

Thirdly, I always give my brother George Brett (or Royals) memorabilia for Xmas...he's received baseball cards, signed balls, old mugs, signed Starting Lineup figures, etc.

This year he received:
A pair of whitey tighties that had been soaked in tea for three days. They were mounted in a Shadow box. I printed up a good-looking Certificate of Authenticity on heavy paper stock that said:

This certifies that the fecal matter in the garment is an original George Brett bowel movement.
This commemorative shit soaked underwear is number 2 of a limited edition. Memorabilia collected in the lobby lavatory at the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas.

To care for this priceless piece of sports memorabilia, never display it in strong ultraviolet radiation, such as direct sunlight, and never without proper framing, ideally including a UV filtering glass case. It has been sprayed with an acrylic coating to protect it from environmental pollutants and offer some UV filtering.

All information and statements contained herein are true and correct:
George Brett's Soiled Pants @ 2006 by Walton Mendelson. All rights reserved.

I wish I could post a picture. The whole thing looked pretty fucking great. I'm especially proud of the "number 2 of a limited edition."
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 7:58 pm
 
my first baseball card that I had that was worth 2.00 ( according to Beckett ) was a Kevin Seitzer RC 1988 Sportflic. And at one time Kal Daniels was a dollar. Oh well.
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 8:02 pm
 
i give tommy an A+ for all his hard work
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 8:55 pm
 
Tommy is a good brother.
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 9:10 pm
 
actually he's white
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 9:15 pm
 
Pretty sure that he looks like the drummer from the Plasmatics right now.
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 9:17 pm
 
best 3 minutes in awhile.
Posted: Aug 6, 2009 7:54 am
 
Tommy is a good brother.
actually he's white

AND gay.

As if being white wasn't bad enough.
Posted: Aug 6, 2009 11:14 am
 
I know where TOmmy is, he's white over there.
Posted: Aug 6, 2009 11:14 am
 
I know where TOmmy is, he's white over there.
Posted: Aug 6, 2009 11:15 am
 
I know where TOmmy is, he's white over there.
Posted: Aug 6, 2009 11:22 am
 
Most perfect double-tapered thread.
Posted: Aug 6, 2009 12:01 pm
 
double-tapered thread!
Posted: Aug 6, 2009 1:35 pm
 
what the F !!?
what the F !!?
what the F !!?
Posted: Aug 11, 2009 6:55 pm
 
In the right light, Tommy looks like Tesco Vee.
Posted: Aug 11, 2009 7:38 pm
 
i dropped a pretty good double taper this morning. but not in my pants.
Posted: Aug 11, 2009 11:19 pm
 
(complete transcript, the auto tune cuts some parts out)

I shit my pants last night
I did
went out and had a great meal
just a great fuckin meal
I had to go to the bathroom so bad in the car
I'm going travel hurry up I gotta shit
and I had, just fuckin shit in my pants

I'm good uh, twice a year for that
when was the last time you shit your pants
been a while?
"yeah, it's been a long time"
I was in vegas a couple years ago
this is an honest to god true story
staying at the bellagio
and went over to the mirage for dinner
and met some friends of mine over there
went to cocomos
a great little steak house
the guy brings out some fresh crab legs and says
"these just came in I gotta give 'em to you guys"
brings a set and I'm eatin 'em
then we go play..gamble a little bit
had a tee time early in the morning
so I said, 'look, I gotta get going'
I'm walkin back to the hotel and I get three quarters of the way out of the lobby
all the sudden I go, 'aww fuck!'
and I'm standing here like this
I got my butt pinched like this so fuckin, I'm fucked, I can't move
all the sudden, you know, it felt alright
I went just like this and (he makes the sound of opening flood gates)
water . . . I had food poisoning from the crabs
take off my leather jacket
tied it around my waist
and I'm just standing there
and it's just running down my leg
I got jeans on
black bucks, no socks
and I just start fuckin walking
and every time I'm walk, somethings coming out
it's water
just straight fuckin water
then, to show you how sick I was
then I'm standing outside and make a call on my cell phone
I call a guy
I said larry you're not gonna believe this
I'm standing outside the lobby of the bellagio
I can't move, I got shit everywhere
I got shit all over myself
and larry's about a 48 waist
so he brings me over a pair of pants and some towels
and he comes over, and meets me, I tell him where I'm standing
he finds the closest bathroom
when you go up the escalator and go up the fuckin...I can't get in the fuckin elevator
it's twelve o'clock at night
he goes in and finds the closest bathroom in the lobby of the hotel
and then I get in the escalator
and he kinda pretends like he drops something
so no one gets behind me
he tells me where it is and he goes in there
goes and gets the towel all wet for me
throws it over the fuckin stall
I take off all my fuckin clothes, just wipe off
leave my shoes, my pants, everything, right there
the towels just right there in the stall
and I'm walking barefoot, with my shirt and with his pants that are a 48 waist
through the lobby like this (as he acts like he's holding his pants up) at midnight
got up in the morning and took the most perfect double tapered shit I've ever had in my life
...
true story
...
who's the pitchers in this game?
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 1:25 am
 
who's the pitchers in this game?
Luis Tiant...Kent Tekulve...?? probably not. Brett Saberhagen maybe. Side arms all the way!!
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 1:29 am
 
I don't appreciate how Tommy had known of this video for over a year but didn't share with us. I posted that shit 15 minutes after seeing it because I and I post. I do appreciate Tommy's homemade doo doo gift.

I have a full page of Jim Eisenreich cards that has remained undisturbed for almost 20 years including his rookie card when he played for the Twins. How did I know about him in Michigan? Scholastic or some shit in 7th grade had a free bullshit newsletter with goddamn Capri-Sun adverts and Jostens anal bead shit in them and they were trying to teach us about adversity and being just swell to everybody and all the sudden Eisenreich is on a page telling us 12 year olds that when he was up to bat his Tourette's Syndrome would get really bad and fan's would yell out from the crowd "shake baby shake! shake baby shake!" and he'd convulse and shit. Motherfuckers. Still love Jim, sorry for being such a bad bwai wit dogheart.
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 1:45 am
 
I've got a video of Rob Deer giving Mickey Tettleton a Boston Steamer . no auto tune though.
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 1:50 am
 
I shit my pants last night
I did
went out and had a great meal
just a great fuckin meal
I had to go to the bathroom so bad in the car
I'm going travel hurry up I gotta shit
and I had, just fuckin shit in my pants



Is this a verse to a rad punk song?!
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 2:03 am
 
I've got a video of Rob Deer giving Mickey Tettleton a Boston Steamer . no auto tune though.

While Steve Balboni and Pete Incaviglia locked hands in a dude-bro handshake and then arm wrestled in the air just like at the beginning of Predator.
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 2:03 am | Edited by: Rich Balls
 
G ///////////////////// C//////
take off my leather jacket

G //////////////////D/////
tied it around my waist

G //////////////////////E5///
and I'm just standing there

G //////////// C////////D//////G///
and it's just running down my leg
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 6:42 am
 
Eater, sorry about not posting this shit...I always figure I'm the LAST one to hear stuff. I heard about it and wasn't able to watch it for a few months because the link was initially removed from youtube. By the time I finally saw it, I figured everyone else on the planet had seen it. It was pretty big news in KC when it first appeared.

Steve Balboni went to my church. He was a VERY shy guy and HATED any attention off the field. My dad wouldn't ever let my brother and I go say 'hi' after mass.

Jim Eisenreich was cool. I feel bad that I used to like to watch him bat because of the way he'd squint and move. About the same age, I shave my sideburns about an inch above my ear because George Brett did it.

This HAS to be a song. You're off to a great start, Rich; I anxiously await the rest!!
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 9:35 am
 
movie about Luis Tiant - Lost Son Of Havana. gotta see it.
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 10:03 am | Edited by: SAMBEAUX
 
While Steve Balboni and Pete Incaviglia locked hands in a dude-bro handshake and then arm wrestled in the air just like at the beginning of Predator.

I imagine you and Dutch Hercules gretting each other this way; at the end of your manly embrace you grunt "DUTCH!" just like Carl Weathers.
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 2:13 pm
 
Lost Son Of Havana. gotta see it.
Is that pretty recent..? i think i just saw it at the bar..he goes home to Cuba n stuff..visits his mother/aunt, whatever..couldnt really tell the volume was down.
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 4:28 pm
 
I saw a preview for it during the Yankees vs. somebody game the other day. Got to respect that mustache. Would go nice with a headband.
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 4:30 pm
 
Some new hire Civil Engineer here used to play for the Phillies. I should ask him if he has any pants shitting stories.
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 4:34 pm
 
I bet if I told Plumley, there'd at least be a good pants-creaming story.
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 4:35 pm
 
HEE-HAW!!!
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 5:57 pm
 
This is my favorite part:

I'm good uh, twice a year for that
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 6:10 pm
 
Depends should be knocking on his door anyday now with a big fat endorsement check. Genius.
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 6:59 pm | Edited by: Useless Eater
 
Luis Tiant > Luis Taint

Damn, Balboni was that close! Balboni was my favorite player on my least favorite team of all time.

I imagine you and Dutch Hercules gretting each other this way; at the end of your manly embrace you grunt "DUTCH!" just like Carl Weathers.

"You sonnavabitch!"
Posted: Jan 8, 2013 1:28 pm
 
With all the talk about Al Roker shitting his pants I just had to revisit this legendary topic. He will never be the pants shitter that George Brett was (is?)
Posted: Jan 8, 2013 2:02 pm
 
George Brett never sharted his pants in the White House though... During the GOP regime no less!
Posted: Jan 8, 2013 3:41 pm
 
I have it on good authority that George W. Bush used a litter box.
Posted: Jan 8, 2013 7:05 pm
 
I totally forgot that Eric posted a transcript.
Posted: Jan 8, 2013 7:25 pm
 
Posted: Jan 8, 2013 11:27 pm
 
zombie thread, back from the dead.
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