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Goner Message Board / ???? / "I Want To Give You A Handjob with my Mouth"
Posted: Apr 17, 2009 4:09 pm
 
Posted: Apr 17, 2009 5:09 pm
 
WOW........ Sounds like every ex-girlfriend i've ever had!
Posted: Apr 17, 2009 5:19 pm | Edited by: arman
 
Sounds like every ex-girlfriend i've ever had!

2 of mine, for sure. whats funny is that their antics are usually exactly the same. the sociopathic behavior. the schemes. psychic vampirism.
Posted: Apr 17, 2009 5:21 pm
 
"I Want To Give You A Handjob with my Mouth"

Is probably the hottest thing a gal can say to a guy like me!....


DTRAIN IS TAKIN APPLICATIONS!
Posted: Apr 17, 2009 5:22 pm
 
no gold diggers...
Posted: Apr 18, 2009 7:56 am
 
playa haters, you got played!
Posted: Apr 18, 2009 8:40 am
 
KOREAN ABDUL-JABBAR
Posted: Apr 18, 2009 8:42 am
 
i'd throw a hot dog down her hall any day
Posted: Apr 18, 2009 9:30 am
 
i'd throw a hot dog down her hall any day

I always thought that was an expression reserved for plus size women. Or very very used women. As in fucking a glass of water.
Posted: Apr 18, 2009 12:48 pm
 
Worst. Pickup line. Evar.
Posted: Apr 18, 2009 12:49 pm
 
Actually, the worst pickup line I ever heard anyone use that actually worked was "Need some mayonnaise on that furburger?"

Maybe I have revealed too much about my technique.
Posted: Apr 18, 2009 9:47 pm
 
Now THATS classy!
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 3:53 am
 
i could not read it.
The first few sentances were ok
but then it fell off the board.
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 12:03 pm | Edited by: dont wanna be a fat boy
 
WOW........ Sounds like every ex-girlfriend i've ever had!

Well, not every ex-girlfriend I've had but one for sure. She scammed the fuck out of a bunch of people, including her parents and former housemates, by signing them up for credit cards and then maxing them the fuck out; didn't get me, though, fortunately. Takes some kind of genius to go buy CDs at Tower Records with a stolen credit card the day after she gets hired there, doesn't it?! At least this Keri person didn't sound like she was violent, which is certainly a plus for me!!

PS "I want to give you a handjob with my mouth" is a great fucking line; sounds like something a different ex-girlfriend of mine might say.
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 12:29 pm
 
Personally I think the line "Cure my cancer with your magic dick" would have been a better line!
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 2:39 pm
 
aren't all hipsters scammers? pretending they're something they're NOT?
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 4:39 pm
 
How did this chick just walk in and get hired on the spot by Vice?
Doesn't it seem like they'd check references?
Or were they all just SO IMPRESSED with this asian girls' sexy vibe?!

give me a break.
these suckers are fucking idiots.
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 5:01 pm
 
read the comments
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 5:19 pm
 
I want give her a foot-job with my shoulder blade.
Posted: Apr 21, 2009 12:24 am
 
the comments are crazy. you figure that someone woulda kicked that girls ass a long time ago.
Posted: Apr 22, 2009 3:26 pm
 
Posted: Apr 22, 2009 3:31 pm
 
still have to guess her muff
Posted: Apr 22, 2009 3:31 pm
 
Her funbags don't look so hot for a 22y.o.
Posted: Apr 22, 2009 3:43 pm
 
Her funbags don't look so hot for a 22y.o.

must be the cancer...
Posted: Apr 22, 2009 10:20 pm
 
She's as bat shit crazy as every single ex girlfriend i've ever had...

Still wouldn't kick her outta the sack tho!









oh wait, she's a gold digger ....so YES! Yes I would kick her outta the sack!
Posted: Apr 22, 2009 10:46 pm
 
gross. looks like a national geographic spread.
Posted: Apr 22, 2009 10:56 pm
 
p.s. I secretly hope she sues that stupid fag newspaper for defamation or something, wins millions, pays off her debts and moves to the carribean. why aren't you fags reading the tabloids if this is the kind of garbage that gets you off?
Posted: Apr 23, 2009 9:24 am
 
why aren't you fags reading the tabloids if this is the kind of garbage that gets you off?

This board isn't a tabloid??!!!!
Posted: Apr 23, 2009 11:41 am
 
Hipsters can get angry?

Nothing is more trite than a self-proclaimed anti-hipster. The word "hipster" is a meaningless, catch-all term that people of color use for young whites who move into their neighborhood, that cranky Gen X-ers (of which I am one) use for Millenials who follow their own sense of fashion, for poor kids to use for kids who have more money than them, and for conformists to use for those who dare to have different priorities. When I hear someone sneer at hipsters, it always says more about the sneer-er than the sneer-ee.

What are you, Willibald, that puts you in the category of people who don't deserve to have their money stolen? What do you spend your money on, if not records, that makes your choices so much better? What word would these hipsters use to describe your bitter ass?

Posted: Apr 23, 2009 6:12 pm
 
What word would these hipsters use to describe your bitter ass?
blue collar
Posted: Apr 26, 2009 12:04 pm
 
Posted: Apr 26, 2009 1:20 pm
 
Somebody paid 40 bucks for it!

The grifting continues...
Posted: Apr 26, 2009 7:16 pm
 
nice nude pics tho...
Posted: Apr 26, 2009 10:59 pm
 
this site is full of people that look like they would want to hang out with her:

http://lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com
Posted: Apr 26, 2009 11:15 pm
 
That link is GOLD!
Exactly why i can't live in that fucking place anymore...i just wanna smack all those trust fund hippes tryin to tell me what good music is...go back to sanfrancisco!!!
Posted: Apr 27, 2009 1:53 am
 
Don't think for a minute you'd be safe from that shit over here either; that's about what the record store in St. Loser looked like the other night- grown women dressed like they're 12 and shit like that. No thanks.
Posted: Apr 27, 2009 11:40 am
 
That link is GOLD!
Exactly why i can't live in that fucking place anymore...i just wanna smack all those trust fund hippes tryin to tell me what good music is...go back to sanfrancisco!!!


jeez --- is that the best they can do? it would take one hour on Valencia Street to top all those photos.
seriously, those people have worn out their welcome
Posted: Apr 27, 2009 1:19 pm
 
I'm a fan of the hipster grifter... here's hoping she hooks up with the mighty Octomom to create an unstoppable juggernaut.
Posted: Apr 27, 2009 3:29 pm
 
That site is right up there with Hll of Douchebags.
Posted: Apr 27, 2009 4:38 pm
 
Posted: May 10, 2009 11:32 am
 
She speaks before her arrest in Philly...

http://vimeo.com/4425947
Posted: May 10, 2009 3:13 pm
 
Vice Magazine pays only 200$ a week? Fuckin' cheap!
So did she turn herself in?
Posted: May 10, 2009 3:15 pm
 
yup.
Posted: May 10, 2009 6:47 pm
 
So did she turn herself in?

Or did she?!

Predictably, the comments are awesome.
Posted: May 10, 2009 7:43 pm
 
HIPSTER SNITCHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can this be a TV show now please?
Posted: May 10, 2009 7:48 pm
 
Or did she?!

I saw that article....me thinks that guy wrote that to get his "band" or whatever publicity...

Still possible tho...
Posted: May 10, 2009 9:14 pm
 
If she didn't have any tattoos to positively I.D. her down at the copshop,
I bet she could stay at large forever. I'm actually kind of rooting for her and not just 'cuz she's slutty. I think this story is pretty funny.
Posted: May 10, 2009 9:38 pm
 
that guys band is called hermit thrushes and they are horrible. they contacted me to play at my house. i kinda want to book them now.
Posted: May 11, 2009 1:22 pm
 
Not only did you snitch but you blogged about it. Douchebag
Posted: May 11, 2009 2:12 pm
 
i think we're booking them. this is gonna rule.
Posted: May 11, 2009 2:59 pm
 
She speaks before her arrest in Philly...

http://vimeo.com/4425947


first thing i thought when i saw this was "yeah i'm sure she's reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally sorry" .... yeah, sorry she got caught...

so the news that she didn't turn herself in, but was in fact caught, is not surprising. fuck this bitch. i've known people like her, total scum of the earth.
Posted: May 11, 2009 3:42 pm
 
Posted: May 11, 2009 3:46 pm
 
fuck this bitch.

That's my wife you're talking about!
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