Posted: Mar 7, 2009 12:22 am
my co-worker had TWO botched vasectomies a couple years ago. the thirid one finally took, but the first two managed to make his balls grow to the size of giant black (he's a white dude) grapefruit. it was so bad that he could barely walk and when he did, he'd only get around with a cane. whenever he stood up or sat down, he made a sound like a dying old farm animal. the whole debacle ran over the course of maybe three or four months - he worked from home and would commute to the office maybe once or twice a week. whenever he'd come in or call in, he'd give you ALL the gory fucking details of his damaged man-bits and the fucked up diagnoses his doctor would give him, and talk about how he could barely sit down to shit because his balls were so grossly swollen. it would break your heart and make you want to puke at the same time. the worst of it, though, had to be that he was super into new age, so after his long drawn out state of the balls speech, he'd go into how it must be happening for a reason, to make him a better person, and how it could be worse and he was learning to be more appreciative of how great his life really was, all things considered. ugh. still fucking grosses me out to think about it. he's better now, but sometimes he wears a kilt to work, as if all was forgotten or something.
...did i win?