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Goner Message Board / ???? / "Secrets of a Hipster Hooker"
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 1:27 pm
 
Here's an article that appears in Radar this month.

Although the girls have yet to face violence while working, they are often asked to skirt the line between kink and humiliation. Last year Kelly met a new client, an aging punk rock pioneer who was staying at the London NYC hotel. Kelly was a fan of his music, but wasn't aware of who he was until after their session. (He had booked under his real name; she knew him only by his stage name.) "He wanted me to force-feed him dog food," she says disgustedly. "I mean, that was just too much for me." After she declined, Kelly says, "We sat on his bed and he complained for an hour about how much money he was wasting and how easy it could have been for me to do it."

Seriously, I have to agree with "punk rock pioneer..." (and I wonder if any of you -- TK?? -- know who that is...)
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 1:30 pm
 
Kelly was a fan of his music, but wasn't aware of who he was until after their session.

After?!? What about during?
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 1:52 pm
 
After?!? What about during?
I imagine he looks a bit older than he did in days gone by, although he may have been wearing a dog collar.
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 2:43 pm | Edited by: ottawarockerdude
 
Dog food is my whole life
Dog food composes my wife
Yum yum yum - woof woof woof - arf arf


-Iggy Pop
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 2:49 pm
 
dutch oblivian
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 3:29 pm
 
Wow, "Kelly" sounds like a total buzzkill. What an uptight cunt, probably reads pitchfork.com.

I hope he at least deficated on the carpet and then had her rub his nose in it.
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 4:34 pm
 
Dog food is my whole life
Dog food composes my wife
Yum yum yum - woof woof woof - arf arf

-Iggy Pop


Iggy & that song came immediately to my mind, too. But how do you not recognize Iggy Pop?

Who else could she be talking about? It's gotta be Lou Reed, right?
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 4:41 pm
 
interesting. i woulda thought a hooker would prefer the fetish tricks over straight sex, easier, cleaner, etc. for 2 grand an hour as long as it doesnt leave any marks they oughta be willing to do pretty much anything.
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 4:42 pm
 
I like the part in Please Kill Me where this gal got to accompany her reporter friend to dinner and interview Lou Reed. She was stoaked to meet Lou, and even more stoaked when he was coming on strong and inviting her to his hotel room. She was totally gonna bang her idol until he started asking if she would shit on his face. The magic died and Lou sat there quite. Then he turned to her and asked "what if I held this plate over my face, would you shit on that?".

Gotta love Lou!
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 9:10 pm
 
an aging punk rock pioneer


IT WASN'T ME!!! I SWEAR !


unless by "pioneer" you mean "regional jackass'!

HAWW!
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 9:36 pm | Edited by: frankenspline
 
"hipster hooker"? the only thing (possibly) hipster about this story is that the girls were in their 20s and working "media jobs" during the day...not sure that qualifies as "hipster".

I mean, going to exclusive douchebag clubs and picking up investment bankers doesn't really touch on hip. maybe if they mentioned American Apparel or LCD Soundsystem...but nope
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 9:45 pm
 
dog food = slang for heroin
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 11:45 pm
 
heroin = slang for dog food?
Posted: Aug 19, 2008 11:54 pm
 
Shit, no wonder the misses got so bent outta shape when I didn't pick up dog food.
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 3:39 am
 
Gotta love Lou
after dinner scat
least he ain't as constipated
from speed like in the 6ts
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 3:57 am
 
Them punkers and their James Joyce fetisj!

He just asked his wife to shit all over him.

Hey Baker!
How come writers always marry women who 'like to please them that way'?
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 9:52 am
 
I'm feeling even less credulous today. You know, this is one of those articles that the writer could totally fabricate from hearsay and bullshit and get published.
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 9:56 am
 
I mean, going to exclusive douchebag clubs and picking up investment bankers doesn't really touch on hip

exactly. it's like calling those shrill whores in sex in the city "hipsters"
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 1:22 pm
 
Is it okay to make a serious guess?

Kim Fowley
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 1:25 pm
 
Oh I know. Billy Idol
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 1:29 pm
 
the girls were in their 20s and working "media jobs" during the day

That was my first thought.
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 1:37 pm
 
Oh I know. Billy Idol

i think we have a winner
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 1:55 pm
 
James Boppre broke all the rules of house arrest when he went for a late-night drive in his pickup truck last month.

He did not observe his curfew.

He did not remain sober.

He did not keep the peace.

And as he crashed into a

Kitchener car lot -- driving naked while speeding, drunk, high on crack cocaine and next to a naked prostitute -- he was not being of good behaviour.

"This is one of the most flamboyant, flaming relapses I've ever seen," defence lawyer Brennan Smart said. "It's almost the stuff of comedy writers."



http://news.therecord.com/News/CanadaWorld/article/401741
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 4:14 pm
 
this is one of those articles that the writer could totally fabricate from hearsay and bullshit and get published.

Yeah, I could smell the bullshit pretty strong when there was only a half page left for the author to relate how her own little escapade panned out.

And paying $2000 to the madame? Who would do that? Is the mob gonna come around and break her kneecaps? Didn't sound like it.

Hell, why would the madame trust a newbie-- a journalist, no less-- with such a call?
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 4:30 pm
 
I need to see a picture of this media-\"whore\".
I wanna know what $950 looks like.
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 5:38 pm
 
Posted: Aug 20, 2008 9:23 pm
 
I would be willing to bet $2,000 on that article being COMPLETE fiction. I think the bitch's imagination got carried away when the elliot spitzer thing went down. the dog food part, as it is pretty random, is the only thing that lends it any sort of credibility whatsoever.
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 10:13 am
 
Yeah, I third the motion on "bullshit". This is stupid. And if it was true... I hope she contracted aids and the article gets her arrested for prostitution. And somebody kicks her faggot nyc method-acting boyfriend's ass.

But the real question is: why wouldn't TK shit on Lou Reeds face? I mean... it's Lou Fucking Reed! At least she could do was shit on the plate. Hell, even I'd do that for 20 bucks.
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 10:16 am
 
the one on the left in this photo

I am NOT paying $950 for that!
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 10:34 am
 
maybe the one on the right ...but STILL! $950? sheesh..
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 10:54 am
 
I wouldn't pay $9.50 for both of 'em.
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 11:17 am
 
Is it okay to make a serious guess?

Kim Fowley



I second that...
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 11:21 am
 
Kim Fowley


I second that...


Yeah, maybe. If it wasn't for the "punk rock pioneer" part.

My money is on Lou. But... stage name???? Hmmm.... TK?
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 11:23 am
 
i get the hipster connection now - $950 for her = $5 for a PBR
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 11:23 am
 
while i have no prob imaging KF requesting this kind of service, I do have a hard time imagining this nitwit (if they even exist) knowing who he is. even if he tells her his name.
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 11:24 am
 
couldnt be Kim Fowley - any 'fan of his music' would never balk on force-feeding him dog food
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 11:26 am
 
this chick was drinking tooters, making out with the door guy and singing along to Mony, Mony (hey motherfucker get laid get fucked) at shitty college bars not 2 years ago. Please.
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 11:46 am
 
Bullshit Journalism at it's most annoying, written by and for slumming rich kids who consume but never actually produce - witness the writer's willingness to fork over $2000 for not fucking the client. And if indeed she actually went that far, I'd venture she bailed because the dude didn't meet her expectations (A pudgy man...extending his short, bushy arms)

And that "punk rock pioneer" scene reads like something made up by a hack in Hollywood circa 1979 after reading one article in Time Magazine.
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 5:21 pm | Edited by: Mark Rochambeaux
 
I would be willing to bet $2,000 on that article being COMPLETE fiction. I think the bitch's imagination got carried away when the elliot spitzer thing went down. the dog food part, as it is pretty random, is the only thing that lends it any sort of credibility whatsoever.

Here, here. As someone who works a "media job," there is nothing whatsoever in that story that makes me believe it's factual.
Posted: Aug 21, 2008 6:07 pm
 
punk rock pioneer


I'm going to go with one of The Damned, who the hell knows their real names.

Neither Iggy nor Lou would call themselves "punk rock".
Posted: Aug 22, 2008 1:28 am
 
She probably means Tres Cool or whatever the fuck his name is from Greenday.
Posted: Aug 22, 2008 8:13 am | Edited by: SAMBEAUX
 
he probably means Tres Cool or whatever the fuck his name is from Greenday.

Is that your "nome de skank" these days, Scott?

"Hey sexy mama, my name is Scott Rogers but you may know me by 'Tres Cool' or 'whatever the fuck I call myself in Green Day' -wanna fuck for 950 bucks?"
Posted: Aug 22, 2008 10:23 am
 
Yes.
Posted: Aug 22, 2008 10:23 am
 
It works.
Posted: Aug 22, 2008 8:43 pm | Edited by: Paul Lips
 
"Do you have a slip on you?" I text back: "Slip?"

"Rubber" is the one-word response.

If I'm paying $950 per hour for a Hipster Hooker, I better get to raw dog it


Over time their networks of referrals have become somewhat self-reinforcing. These days Heather tends to book with more bankers and Wall Street types, Olivia with a lot of retired hipsters and club owners,

What's that?
Posted: Aug 22, 2008 8:46 pm
 
trust fund kids.
Posted: Aug 22, 2008 8:47 pm
 
Oh.
Posted: Aug 23, 2008 4:59 pm
 
Is there no shame anymore? Can rich layabout hipster guys or rich type-A Wall Street douchebags not get laid on their own?
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