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Goner Message Board / ???? / Frank Zappa
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 7:41 pm
Whats the deal?? I just don't get it.. My boss plays it all the fucking time... About 5 years ago when I was really high I thought "Hot Rats" was OKAY... Most of the time I don't like "funny" music...
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 7:51 pm
Who the flying fuck are the brain police? Everything past that album loses me.
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 7:54 pm
he did the wild man fischer LP set. other than that he sucks.
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 8:16 pm | Edited by: Joe Diddley
dtrain has this one that's one of his early solo/ mothers of invention recs. i can't remeber what it's called, but he brought it over to my place and it was one of the best listening experiences i've ever had. didn't even take it off!

also, he was in a mid 60's instrumental combo called
The Hollywood Persuaders.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v51 5/djprestige/Flea%20Market%20Funk %20Blog/hollywoodpersuaders.jpg

I have the LP and one of the 45s called "Drums A Go-Go." DEVASTATING!
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 8:23 pm
i can't remeber what it's called

we're only in it for the money

i got it too. we should eat more brownies and listen to it!
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 8:25 pm

i got it too. we should eat more brownies and listen to it!

oh god, just make sure we're actually not going anywhere for awhile. THOSE BROWNIES WERE RETARDED!!!
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 8:50 pm
well, I largely have We're Only In It For the Money to blame for me starting to make music/ noise when I was 16 or whatever; I like up through maybe Wake/ Jawaka, but much after that I just can't take Zappa anymore- I don't dig the guitar wankery and the juvenalia of his later stuff just isn't funny to me anymore (just the other day, I sold my copies of Sheik Yerbouti; Them Or Us and a couple others of his; good riddance!!)

oh, and there is nothing "funny" about Hot Rats; that's some pretty serious jazz-rock and it still kicks ass- just listened to a couple weeks back ("Peaches En Regalia" is still one of my all-time favorite Zappa songs)
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 9:58 pm
oh, and there is nothing "funny" about Hot Rats

I didn't mean that one.. I meant the shit my boss plays.. Later day shit???
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 10:02 pm
Peaches En Regalia

Phish LOVED to play that song.
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 10:42 pm
I just can't forgive the guy for the whole Steve Vai thing.
Oh...and for Dweezil.
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 11:43 pm
Zappa did the theme song to "World's Greatest Sinner".
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 12:28 am
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 12:32 am
Man, the DVD of Baby Snakes floors me everytime. He's got a devastating band, then, too, with a young Adrian Belew on strings & Bozzio behind the kit. More like 3 kits, actually.
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 12:35 am
back on late shift i guess?
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 1:08 am | Edited by: dont wanna be a fat boy
Phish LOVED to play that song.

I never knew that; had to suffer through some Phish at the record store I used to work at, but I have blocked any memory I had of them- that guy was such a cliche hippy too: smelled bad, played Phish, played The Dead all the time etc. but occasionally redeemed himself by playing Can or Soft Machine or something and was a nice enough guy I guess

I've got the video of Baby Snakes, actually, but I haven't watched it in many years; pretty cool, as I recall, and I loved the Bruce Bickford claymations but I would much rather watch 200 Motels than that

and I forgot all about Bongo Fury, which I still own too but only because it has Captain Beefheart on it; I got into Zappa and Beefheart at about the same time, but I listen to Beefheart a whole lot more than Zappa these days...
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 2:46 am
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 3:10 am
O, the writer!
Love his lyrics, esp the juvenile shit!

Brown shoes don't make it
Brown Shoes don't make it
Quit school, why fake it
Brown shoes don't make it

TV dinner by the pool
Watch your brother grow a beard
Got another year of school
You're okay, he's too weird
Be a plummer
He's a bummer
He's a bummer every summer
Be a loyal plastic robot
For a world that doesn't care
That's right

Smile at every ugly
Shine on your shoes and cut your hair

Be a jerk-go to work
Be a jerk-go to work
Be a jerk-go to work
Be a jerk-go to work
Do your job, and do it right
Life's a ball
TV tonight
Do you love it
Do you hate it
There it is
The way you made it

A world of secret hungers
Perverting the men who make your laws
Every desire is hidden away
In a drawer in a desk by a Naugahyde chair
On a rug where they walk and drool
Past the girls in the office

We see in the back
Of the City Hall mind
The dream of a girl about thirteen
Off with her clothes and into a bed
Where she tickles his fancy
All night long

His wile's attending an orchid show
She squealed for a week to get him to go
But back in the bed his teen-age queen
Is rocking and rolling and acting obscene
Baby, baby. ..
Baby, baby. . .
Cimmie then cakes, uh!
If I do I'm gonna lose my...

And he loves it, he loves it
It curls up his toes
She wipes his fat neck
And it lights up his nose
But he cannot be fooled
Old City Hall Fred
She's nasty, she's nasty
She digs it in bed
That's right

Do it again, ha
And do it some more
Hey, that does it, by golly
And she's nasty for sure
Nasty nasty nasty
Nasty nasty nasty
Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty

She's a dirty young mind, corrupted
Well she's thirteen today
And I hear she gets loaded

If she were my daughter, I'd...
What would you do, Frankie?
If she were my daughter, I'd ...
What would you do, Frankie?
Check this out
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again, oh baby
Smother that girl in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again, oh baby
She's my teen-age baby
She turns me on
I'd like to make her do a nasty
On the White House lawn
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
And boogie 'till the cows come home

Time to go home
Madge is on the phone
Got to meet the Gurney's and a dozen gray attorneys
TV dinner by the pool
I'm so glad I finished school
Life is such a ball
I run the world from City Hall
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 3:12 am
oops, there's a typo in there...
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 3:13 am
200 Motels was pretty cool. CENTERVILLE....!
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 3:23 am
There was a man
A little ole man
Who lived in Montreal
With a wife and a kid
And a car and a house
And a teenage daughter
With a see-thru blouse
Who loved to grunt and ball - -
And her name was Magdalena

The little ole man
Came home one night
To his house in Montreal.
He caught his daughter
In the blouse by the light
And he said to himself:
"She looks all right!"
And he reached for a tit
And grabbed it tight
And threw her up
Against the wall

Magdalena, my daughter dear,
Do not be concerned when your
Canadian daddy comes near.
My daughter dear
Do not be concerned when your
Canadian daddy comes near.
I work so hard,
Don't you understand,
Making maple syrup
For the pancakes of our land.
Do you have any idea
What that can do to a man
What that can do to a man?
Do you have any idea
What that can do to a man
What that can do to a man?

The little ole man
With the grubby little hand
Who lived in Montreal
Was drooling a bit
As he reached for her tit
And he said to himself:
"This gonna be it!"
But the girl turned around
And said: "Go eat shit!"
And ran on down the hall.
Right on, Magdalena!

My daughter dear,
Do not be concerned when your
Canadian daddy comes near.
My daughter dear
Do not be concerned when your
Canadian daddy comes near.
I work so hard,
Don't you understand,
Making maple syrup
For the pancakes of our land.
Do you have any idea?
What that can do to a man
What that can do to a man?
Do you have any idea?
What that can do to a man
What that can do to a man?

Magdalena, don't you tease me like this
Right in the hallway with your blouse and your tits
If your mommy ever finds us like this
She'll call a lawyer, oh how mom will be pissed


Magdalena, Magdalena, Magdalena, Magdalena,
daughter of the smog-filled winds of Los Angeles,
I'd like to take you in the closet
and take off your little clothes
until you're virtually stark raving nude,
spread mayonaise and kaopectate all over your body
and take you down to Hollywood Boulevard
and we can, we can walk down the streets
by the stars that say John Provost and Leo G. Carrol
together, Baby.
We can go dancing up at the Cina Grill ... can't you see it: Frank
Pernell and us, until dark ... don't you understand, my Baby ...
I didn't mean, I didn't need, I mean ... it was so hard for me ...
I just ... I saw you standing under the Shell pest strip late last
night, in the light, with your little nipples protruding through your
little see-thru thingie...and I just said 'My god, my god, I gave
my sperm to this thing'...and now I just,...oh you got me so hard,
I just, I don't know what to do Magdalena, don't you understand?
So I grabbed you - but, but don't hold it against me - I mean,
your mom will never know, Baby ... and I wantcha to
come back to me... I mean... do you understand me?... I want you to...
I'm down on my knees to ya, Magdalena... I wantcha ta walk back to me,
Baby... I wantcha to turn around by the Sparkletts machine... that's it!
that's it!... in the little chartreuse hallway with the little neon
Jesus picture on the wall... and I want you to step, Baby, I want you
to walk back in your five inch spike heels that you got at Frederick's,
same time you and your mommy got that crotchless underwear last year
for the christmas... and I want you to stroll back to me, Baby...
Walk back Baby, dontcha understand me Baby... I want you to walk back...
I'm down on bended knees, Baby... I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I wanna take
off your little trainig bra...Don't you understand me.
I'm gonna take off you little maroon hot pants... I'm gonna get down on
my knees, Baby... dontcha understand what I'm saying to you... your mom
will never know... she's playing bridge with the girls... and you and I...
you and I will... Baby, it's just you and I... dontcha understand... we can
make love all night long... nobody will ever know... come on, Magdalena!
...please, little girl... walk back to your daddy... what did I do that
was so wrong?...my god, I was only following the sexual impulse like
I heard on the Johnny Carson Show...from a book or something I wrote,
I didn't know what I was doing...I got carried away... walk back,
oh please, to your daddy!... come on, Magdalena... to your daddy,
Baby... your mom will never know... come back to you daddy
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 3:36 am
back on late shift i guess?

Always on the late shift. Was busy as hell for a while & been readin' more than postin' lately.
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 4:58 am
This song here is called "The Wild Man Fischer Story" - you rollin'? . . . You ROLLIN'? [sighs, chuckles, pauses, then . . . ]

In the year of 1961, I did it all in fun!
[upset] "DAVID!"
[blase] "What, Mother?"
"Larry's in the bedroom, David - he's SINGING!!"
"Larry, are you singing?"
[Larry emits an excerpt from "The Leaves Are Falling"]
"Mother, I don't know what he's doing, but I don't think he's singing."

In the year of 1962, I got thrown out of school!
"Now listen Larry, I'm the principal at this high school, you're not s'posed to sing in class!"
"Lookit, Larry, look at all these other students around here, they don't sing in class . . . You know I like you, you know I like you to have you stay here, but when you go all day, go 'Serrano Beach', 'c'mon let's do the Taster', ng glk, you know, it's gonna drive, it's gonna drive somebody nuts!"
[Somebody - Larry or the principal? - whimpers and growls]

In the year of 1963, I was committed to a mental institution!
[hysterical] "David! Norman! Oh, David! We're gonna have to do something about Larry, David. He's driving me nuts, David, I can't stand him another day, David. We're gonna have to do something."
"Well why don't you commit him?"
"Great idea! Larry, you know Mother loves you . . . you know I'd do anything for you - you gotta understand, it's my arthritis, Larry . . . the doctors say I haven't got long to live . . . If you live here another month I think my arthritis will get worse, Larry . . . Why couldn't you be like all the other Jewish boys in the neighborhood?!! A nice decent boy . . . all these other, these other parents, their boys go out and work - what do my boys do? 'Merry go' - 'Serrano Beach' - oh Larry, [sobbing hysterically] it's terrible!"
"Mother, I love you!"
"You love me, David!!" [more sobbing]

Aaaaaah - in the year of 1964, I was released from the mental institution!
"Mother, I'm back."
[riotously happy] "Oh David, he's HOME!! Oh Larry, the doctors pronounced you NORMAL! You're NORMAL, Larry!! Oh David, he's normal! Ha ha, oh David . . . "
"Larry, I heard that you're, y'know, the doctors say you're gonna be all right, you're not gonna sing anymore - "
"No, David, I'm gonna go out and get a job, I'm gonna be normal in society! Mother, just sign over the licence . . . I'll stay home, I'll be home early, Mother, everything's gonna be all right . . . Sir, can I have this job?"
"Well, it only pays a dollar and a quarter an hour."
"FISCHER! Sing us a song, Fischer!"
"Yeah, Fischer, why don't ya sing us a song!"
"I can't sing you a song, I'll get fired!"
[sweet girlish voice] "Fischer, [giggle] why don't you sing me a song [giggle]?"
"Oh okay, just one song, okay? [sings] C'mon, let's merry go, merry go, merry go round! Boop boop boop! Merry go, merry go, merry go round, boop boop -"
"You're fired!"

In the year of 1965, I was committed to the mental institution again!
"David . . . [sobbing] oh, David . . . "
"Mother, calm down!"
"David, how can you tell me to calm down! Larry's in the bedroom, David - he's saying 'balls', David! . . . Oh David, he's got those girls up there, David! 'Balls' - I don't know what he means by that, David! Oh, this is terrible, David! David, we're gonna have to commit him, David, he got fired, this is terrible - NORMAN! DAVID!!"
"Mother, I'm going out with a girl tonight, will you leave me alone?!"

Ah - in the year of 1966, I was released from the mental institution again!
"Mother, as you know, they released me."
[sobbing] "Oh . . . Don't tell me about it - tell me about it . . . Larry, you'll never be normal . . . they say you're a paranoia schizophrenic . . . [sighs, composes herself] Larry, you know Mother loves you and everything, but you must, you know, make it out on the own in the world and be a good boy and make mother proud of you - "
"I will, Mother!"
[kisses Larry] "You know Mother loves you - I'll always be thinking of you, Larry!"
"Mother, I'm gonna go out there, I'm gonna be a big singing star -"
[alarmed] "DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!!! The doctors told you to get off that subject!"
"Mother . . . really! I mean, lookit, there's, uh, look at all the other singers that are out - Sonny & Cher, the Beatles - I could be big too, y'know, if I try hard!"

In the year of 1967, do you wanna hear a new kind of song for a dime!
"Pardon me, sir, uh, would you like to hear a new kinda song for a dime?"
"Yeah, but I'm late for my next class, man, I mean, you know, I gotta, you know . . . "
"Okay . . . [gives off that indescribable sound known only to a very few as "The Leaves Are Falling"] [growls:] The leaves are falling!"
"The leaves are what?"

In the year of 1968, have I made a mistake?
Will I end up a bum? Will I end up a crumb?
Will I end up in hell? Will I end up in jail?
Will I end up in Jesus? Will I end up in trees?
Will I end up rich, rich, rich, RICH!!
Wild Man Fischer, Wild Man Fischer
Merry go, merry go, merry go round, boop boop boop, merry go . . .
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 5:57 am
Yeah, remember that one very well.
When I was still on the tit, the left one of my mum gave milk and the other one gave Zappa and the occasional squirts of Wild Man and Beefheart.

I take it you have the Fischerking Box?
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 6:44 am
anyways, here's a link to the one Zappa's fat fuckin black widow is still sitting on:
http://easydreamer.blogspot.com/2005/12/week-41-merry-christmas-do-not -unwrap.html
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 7:11 am
and I'd really like to put up Beefheart's real Bat Chain Puller record, but that's also burried under that fat cunt's ass.

Only got the fake version, Dust Sucker. Some great stuff on that sloppy boot from that crooked Ozit/Morpheus/Milksafe label, but I'd like to get the REAL THING.

The thought that Dweezil The Retard is gonna run the bizz on his own after the Fat Cunt croaks is NOT comforting, seeing how he keeps fuckin up and up and up. Biggest flake Cali ever coughed up.
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 8:18 am
Where's Ronnie Farnsworth?
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 8:31 am
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 1:19 pm
I only know the Mothers records, Hot Rats, Lumpy Gravy...

She's a dirty young mind
Corrupted, corroded
Well she's thirteen today
And I hear she gets loaded

I had Absolutely Free on my desk at work a few months ago and the resident deadhead / neo-bluegrass guy (not an old guy by any means-- he's like 30 or something) says "I see you're getting into Zappa." Fuck you, motherfucker, I only like the early stuff:

Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street

If the hippies of today would only listen to the lyrics, they'd recoil in horror. Mocking your 60s idols? Fuck yeah!

Hot Rats is okay, but you can't deny the evil it unleashed by influencing a whole boatload of jam/fusion wankers. There's some really boring 8+ minute guitar solos on there.

And many thanks for that Wild Man Fischer record. I was scouring torrent sites for it just last week!
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 2:12 pm
Everything he ever did was flushed down the Zappa Crappa
when he hit big with "titties and beer"
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 2:24 pm
I listened in high school and used to get a kick out of the album art...but it's too hard to listen to these days...he was a hell of a composer/guitarist...just not my cuppa these days.
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 5:30 pm
I just got an mp3 of Jazz Discharge Party Hats - never heard it before, liked it well enough.
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 3:29 pm
Where's Ronnie Farnsworth
Right here...

also, he was in a mid 60's instrumental combo called
The Hollywood Persuaders.

Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's only the "Tijuana Surf"/"Grunion Run" 45 -- the rest are basically Paul Buff projects. I bought that "Drums A Go-Go" 45 from some dude with a big "FEATURING FRANK ZAPPA" sticker on it, found out later he ain't on it. Still a worthy 45, of course.

I just turned 30, so I've been listening to FZ over 15 years now and the older I get the more I appreciate stuff I wasn't into at all when I was 14/15. Back then it was original Mothers stuff ONLY or I didn't want to know of it really, then I got into the Flo & Eddie-era stuff and started liking that (although not nearly as much as when I started collecting bootlegs -- the Flo & Eddie-lineup is so underrepresented on offical releases, especially the 1970 lineup, which is probably now my favorite Zappa band). Then it was the jazz/big-band mindfucks on Hot Rats, Grand Wazoo and Waka/Jawaka. These days I even like the super-perfect-accuracy lineups like the Roxy & Elsewhere band, although around 1975 is where my interest begins to wane slightly. Believe me, I could go on.

Anyway, yeah, the guy liked to play long solos so if you're not into solos you probably might get bored sometimes...I happen to like a good guitar solo and Frank Zappa rarely played a bad one.

you can't deny the evil it unleashed by influencing a whole boatload of jam/fusion wankers.
I would like to point out that the Ramones, the Velvet Underground, the Beatles and the Stones influenced a ton of evil shit too. I'm really not liking how these Dead/Phish/Umphry's McGee-loving/burning-man hippie fucks are trying to claim FZ as some kind of "one of their own" bullshit. Like I said, I could go on, and it looks like I have so, I guess I'll stop. As Eric the Midget would say, "Bye for now."
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 3:34 pm
i was just wondering, how the hell did he get his own imprint, what was it that warrented that?
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 3:40 pm
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 4:16 pm
I like it all up to the early 80s with the electronic drum kits, and the emphasis on making fun of Reagan vs. musicality ... Roxy and Elsewhere, Apostrophe, all that shit ...

Plus his estate (I think it's mostly his wife) has been pretty ingenious about reissuing the stuff every two years. How many copies of Sheik Yerbouti does the true fan need!!!
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 5:28 pm | Edited by: Joe Pestilence
Ruben And The Jets= yay!

Apostrophe= no fuckin' way.
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 5:45 pm
We all came out to Montreux
On the Lake Geneva shoreline
To make records with a mobile
We didn't have much time...
Posted: Jul 26, 2008 3:20 am
downloading that Bat Chain Puller now,
o, dear, let it be the real one...

Thanks Ronnie!!!!!!!
Posted: Jul 26, 2008 7:45 am
Posted: Jul 26, 2008 2:57 pm
although around 1975 is where my interest begins to wane slightly. Believe me, I could go on.
I really need to take this back as it's not really close to being true. There's a lot of post-1975 stuff that's great (I even like that Jazz From Hell album from '86 or something and his last one from '93 -- certainly not good starting points), but there's a lot of stuff that ain't quite easy listening (in, to my ears, a good way).
i was just wondering, how the hell did he get his own imprint, what was it that warrented that?
You mean how did he get to start his own labels and shit? Don't know exactly, but he really knew his way around the business -- definitely a smart business man in a business that thrives on stupidity.
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