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Goner Message Board / ???? / Nominee's for parents of the year?
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 11:58 am
 
Police: Mother A Crip, Father A Westside Baller

COMMERCE CITY, Colo. -- A couple fighting about which gang their 4-year-old toddler should join caused a public disturbance that resulted in the father's arrest, Commerce City police said Thursday.

On Saturday, Joseph Manzanares stormed into the Hollywood Video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her and knocked over several video displays and even a computer, Commerce City police Sgt. Joe Sandoval said.

After he ran out of the store, police were called and the 19-year-old was arrested at his home.

His girlfriend told police that they had been arguing about the upbringing of their son and which gang he should belong to. The teen mother, who is black, is a member of the Crips. Manzanares is Hispanic and belongs to the Westside Ballers gang, the woman said.

"They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised. Basically, she said they cannot agree on which gang the baby would 'claim,'" Sandoval said.

Manzanares was charged with disorderly conduct, harassment, and domestic violence. He was transported to the Adams County Detention Facility.

On Tuesday, he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and was sentenced to a year of probation. The misdemeanor harassment charge was dropped.

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/15851207/detail.html
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 12:15 pm
 
only white people should have babies
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 2:03 pm
 
My girlfriend's mom is a head of Child Protective Services in Battle Creek, MI, and her sister is a teacher in one of the worst schools in Columbus, Ohio. I've heard a lot of pretty fantastic bad parenting stories. My favorite is the single mom in Battle Creek having to be talked out of naming her daughter syphilis.
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 2:04 pm
 
Oh, and there's a kid in Columbus named Shithead...pronounced "Shah heed"
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 2:16 pm
 
Ha ha ha
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 3:08 pm | Edited by: miss linda
 
That couple should name their baby "D&C", "Coat Hanger", or maybe "GARBAGE CAN".
It's only hope is to be named "Adoption".
Poor baby :(
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 3:12 pm
 
I think god made a mistake when he reincarnated that one.
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 3:18 pm
 
there is a girl who used to be a waitress at the perkins over by highland here in memphis whose name was clymidia.

my friend who is on derby was a teacher for a bit and she taught twins named velvet and lace. i have a feeling that they were destined to be strippers.
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 3:22 pm
 
My friend teaches a kid named Anakin Sky Walker. Sky being the middle name of course.
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 3:42 pm
 
There's a kid in my neighborhood who's probably about three years old and easily pushing 100 pounds. I saw her mom (not so thin herself) carting her around in one of those grocery granny carts and she had a box of cupcakes on her lap and frosting all over her face, with her back and arm fat pooching out through the holes in the cart. I decided it was Puerto Rican fois gras.
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 3:44 pm
 
I recently encountered a girl, age 23 months, named Jazzmen
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 3:58 pm
 
i delivered a pie to a guy whose last name was "Kuntsman" the other day...
nice fella, good tip.
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 4:21 pm
 
Oh, Colorado...Westside Ballers is clearly the choice...my kid's been one since diapes. Denver don't have enough black folk to stock a strong enough Crips chapter.
Posted: Jul 21, 2008 10:33 pm
 
My friend Diana worked as a spanish translator at a hospital. One time a lady brought in a kid she had named "Hundredsofdollas". No shit.
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 4:50 pm
 
there is a girl who used to be a waitress at the perkins over by highland here in memphis whose name was clymidia.

Hey elle!
I went to school 3 years ago with a lady named Clitoria.She was really jumpy, she took upwards of 3 hours to take the exams,so the rest of the class had to wait for her dumb ass.

She failed.
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 5:03 pm | Edited by: Miss Faye
 
Jazzmen
Somehow, I kind like that one.

I went to elementary school with a girl named Margarita Light.
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 5:06 pm
 
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 5:10 pm
 
Nobody has mentioned the urban legendary twins-named-at-the-hospital:

Lemongello and Orangello
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 5:13 pm | Edited by: miss linda
 
I'm gonna name my kids "Big Dick Rapist", and "King Dong".
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 5:16 pm
 
If I ever impregnate a ditz who's not smart enough to get an abortion, I'm going to make her name the kid Sickie Wifebeater. I better get carte blanche in naming rights since I'm kicking down a third of my paycheck for 18 years.
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 8:51 pm
 
I hate to say it, but this is a good argument for religion. Pick up the bible, people! Plenty of acceptable baby names right fuckin' there.

They've even got cute little backstories for added relevance.
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 9:17 pm
 
Mother A Crip, Father A Westside Baller

This could be a Holland-Dozier-Holland lyric.
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 4:42 pm
 
Pick up the bible, people! Plenty of acceptable baby names right fuckin' there.

Jesus
God
Lucifer
Judas
Jezebel
Harod
Barabas
Pilot
Satan
Cain
and my personal favorite, "The Whore of Babylon"
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 5:09 pm
 
a girl, age 23 months, named Jazzmen

Is that because the father could have been one of many?
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 5:12 pm
 
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 5:18 pm
 
Is that because the father could have been one of many?

It's because the bitch can't spell.

Stupid Bitches!!!
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 5:31 pm
 
His girlfriend told police that they had been arguing about the upbringing of their son and which gang he should belong to. The teen mother, who is black, is a member of the Crips. Manzanares is Hispanic and belongs to the Westside Ballers gang, the woman said.

Obviously, the son should go into the Westside Crips Ballers, I mean that's what his old man was doing.
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 10:11 am
 
Since this kinda devolved into a thread about dumb baby names, I thought this would be relevant. Dunno if it's already mentioned in the "Stop naming your kids Tyler" thread.

NZ judge backs girl over 'embarrassing' name

(CNN) -- A New Zealand judge has made a 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name can be changed from Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii, the country's national news agency reported Thursday.

Family Court Judge Rob Murfitt listed a series of unusual names that New Zealand parents had given their children, and said he was concerned that such strange monikers would create hurdles for them as they grew up.

"It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap," the New Zealand Press Association quoted the judge as saying.

Among the names Murfitt cited: twins named Benson and Hedges -- after a brand of cigarettes; Violence; and Number 16 Bus Shelter.

Some parents had named children after six-cylinder Ford cars, the news agency reported.

The Registrar General of Births, Deaths and Marriages said in a statement that it had rejected names including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi -- a staple food in Polynesian cuisine -- and Sex Fruit.

A lawyer for Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii said the girl is so embarrassed by her name that friends know her as "K."

Last month, an judge in the U.S. state of Illinois allowed a school bus driver to legally change his first name to "In God" and his last name to "We Trust."

But an appeals court in the state of New Mexico ruled against a man -- named Variable -- who wanted to change his name to a two-word phrase that contains a four-letter expletive and expresses opposition to censorship.
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 2:13 pm
 
Mother A Crip, Father A Westside Baller

This could be a Holland-Dozier-Holland lyric.


Awesome!

Sorry to nitpick: It would be Whitfield/Strong (the *other* M-towners).
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