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Goner Message Board / ???? / note from Little Steven to the bands on his fest
Posted: Aug 15, 2004 6:08 am
Dearest Bands,

Get ready for a wild one.

Just a couple of things.

As some of you might know, we were originally going to do three days
and have everybody there but unfortunately we ended up limited to the
one day and so we're trying to get as many bands in as possible.

To do that we are patterning the first two-thirds of the show after
the early Alan Freed and Murray the K shows.

Time is ridiculously tight so we need everybody to keep their sets
under ten minutes. We would like everybody to limit their sets to
three songs. If that's only six or seven minutes, that's even better
for us as far as keeping on schedule. At around nine and a half
minutes the turntable stage will start to turn even if you're still

I actually think if that happens - one band still playing while they
disappear and at the same time the next band playing as they come
around - it will be a very cool thing. If we do have a minute or two
or three in between sets we will have hosts to bring the next band
on. Every band's name and website will be projected on the video
screen while they're playing.

The order of the performances will be done by random selection and
does not indicate one band being more important than another.

Some of the bands first on will be playing to possibly very few
people and will have to adjust to that and perform for the cameras as
well as the beautiful fanatics who get there early.
On the other hand, we may need to ask some of the later bands to
limit their set to two songs, and conceivably one song, if we are
running over because we have a very very strict curfew at 11pm.

In the eyes of the film which we are shooting, everyone is equal.

And by the way, Chris Columbus has come on as director. He has asked
that we provide him with set lists if possible from each band which
will help him a lot in the filming of the event. Please email us the
names of the songs you plan to perform as soon as you can.

If your band does not have a "look" this might be a good time to
consider it. The film is going to be seen worldwide and will be shown
on television in many countries and of course end up on DVD.

If you are a three-piece band, I respectfully suggest you consider
adding a fourth or even fifth member if at all conceivable. I know
it's short notice but, for three songs, it's something you may want
to think about. (And by the way, if you need more money to do this we
will find it for you.)

I only suggest this because it is extraordinarily unlikely for anyone
to make it as a three-piece band. I know history has given us a
handful but in virtually every case all successful three-piece bands
were all virtuoso musician based. Traditional Rock and Roll, or
Garage Rock as we now call it, is song-based and therefore
communicates best with a texture made up of four instruments. Howlin'
Wolf's early Sun sessions as well as Muddy Waters' first electric
band established the tradition, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones
carried it on, and its effectiveness has never been, and most likely
will never be, improved upon (with all due respect to Jack and Meg).

Please understand we will continue to support you whether you have a
"look" or not or if you are a three-piece band or not or if you are a
Republican or not.

Our revolution has come a long way in four years and one of our main
goals is to continue to establish a new infrastructure that allows
Rock and Roll bands to make a living playing music (our campaign has
reached its second stage with the establishment of a 24/7 channel at
Sirius Satellite Radio).

The better your songs are, the better you look, the more musical you
sound, and the more exciting your performance, the better our chances
of winning this war we are waging against the exclusive domination of
hard rock, hip hop, contemporary pop, and rootless, soulless,
mindless, lifeless, hopeless, joyless mediocrity in general.

For those of you who will be here on Friday night there will be a
casual get-together and credentials distribution at Renegade Nation
starting at around 7pm. Our address is 545 W. 34th St. Suite 6B
(between 10th and 11th Avenue). The phone number is 212 868 9000. Let
us know if you can make it.

So come have fun, say hello to some cool bands you may never have
met, and join us as we worship at the altar of the Mighty Bo.

Little Steven

Posted: Aug 15, 2004 6:12 am
"Uh, Mr. Diddley, I think we're gonna have to work on your look. Say, have you thought about adding some members to your band?"

What a load of shit! Fuck Little Steven.

Posted: Aug 15, 2004 6:17 am
"Iggy, can you please wear this Dunkin' Donuts cap. I really think it'll help your image."
Posted: Aug 15, 2004 6:53 am
Let's not forget how much the new Reigning Sound slbum sucks. Probably because they're playing live as a three-piece these days.
Andrew Earles
Posted: Aug 15, 2004 8:19 am
LAY OFF PEOPLE! Little Steven single-handedly ended Apartheid!!!
Posted: Aug 15, 2004 8:36 am
Just for this, everyone should fire bandmembers over three, and all the bands should agree to wear the same thing for however many bands are playing. I would suggest beatles wigs and Paisley suits. Maybe everyone could play the same three songs. The set list for every band should be: Louie, Louie, Surfin Bird, and Stepping Stone in that order. Other than that, rock out and show your originality!!
eric o
Posted: Aug 15, 2004 9:24 am
i would not miss a festival of 18 bands, each dressed in the same clothes with the same beatles wigs, playing "louie louie," "Surfin' Bird," and "Steppin Stone!"

that would be great. bateman, please force all n.o. octoberfest bands to do this.

Andy Kaufman
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 12:24 am
There is no way this is not a fake.
Nanne Tepper
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 12:52 am
I agree
The man is a twat, but seriously... this can't be true.
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 1:12 am
I've met him before (in a garage rock capacity), and I am totally believing this.
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 1:31 am
There is no way this is not true.
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 2:00 am
I wonder how much money they'd pay ya to add an extra band member (in order to increase your chances of "making it"). And would they pay it in advance? And if so, would they ask for the cash back if you showed up with your original "bound to LOSE" power trio line up?

Does anyone remember that very short-lived sitcom (circa 79-80 maybe) called "Making It", featuring the Dr. Pepper guy?

Andy Kaufman
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 2:27 am
as much of an ass as this guy is, I refuse to believe this "if your a band with three members, consider adding a fourth..." bullshit until someone from one of the bands that actually played this fest comes on here and says that it was true.
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 2:49 am
Andy, where do you get off calling anything fake.
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 4:15 am
Why would anybody go through the hassle of adding a fourth or fifth band memember if they are only going to be allowed to play three fuckin' songs? Also, I've seen the line up for this show, and it includes Iggy and The Stooges and a few other classic bands......if I go to a show and start watching the Stooges play "T.V. Eye", only to have the stage turned around mid-song so that Fink Garage and the Garage Twats can play their Sonics cover, I'd be a little pissed. Not such a great idea to let EVERY band play the same small set when some of these bands are cult classics and some of them are no names. Way to go, Little Stevie.
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 4:46 am
Is this fest really about "making it?" That emphasis makes me highly doubt the veracity of the note.
moody prick
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 8:49 am
do dead guys count?
Lil Steven
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 10:13 am
C'mon guys, you gotta hand it to me, I do a great job on the Sopranos.
Nanne Tepper
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 2:23 pm
Allright, my brain isn't working like it should, but I know for a fact that Winona Ryder's boobs are not fake, and I like to think that this thing above is totally fake, but if it's not, then I cannot believe that there are still bands willing to play that bill.
ed oblivian
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 3:50 pm
We didn't play this thing but I'm inclined to think the note is real because he told us that as a three peice we were throwing our careers away. Now I would like to name some of my favorite three peices.
Charlie Feathers
Johnny Burnette's Rock'n'Roll Trio
Elvis Presley w/ Scotty & Bill
Johnny Cash & the Tennessee Two
Let's here some of yours.
ed oblivian
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 3:56 pm
Oh Yea! The Guiloteens
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 3:59 pm
This world sure is fucking weird. Lil Steven is a nice guy, but that letter makes me feel like I need to take a shower.
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 4:01 pm
Oh, sorry. Motorhead (imagine the umlauts in your head). Thee Mighty Ceasars. Urinals (I think?)
Nanne Tepper
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 5:18 pm
First line up Sugababes

how's about getting back to me on that interview question if you ever got that email.

Posted: Aug 16, 2004 5:43 pm
what an idiot
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 5:54 pm
Hey Boss! I don't think our sound is full enough as a five-piece. Let's get your wife and Nils Lofgren to texture our totalry garage rockin' sound!
ed oblivian
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 7:53 pm
Nanne, Don't think I got it. Please resend it. More awesome trios: Stooges, Headcoats,Leather Uppers,Cheater Slicks,Hentchmen,... This could go on forever. What I want is an example of "virtuoso trios" other than Rush and ELP.
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 7:59 pm
Maybe the Jimi Hendrix Experience? The Minutemen!
JJ Champion
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 8:06 pm
Minutemen, Husker Du, Melvins... oh wait, these bands never "made it."

I wonder if Little Steven's ever heard of CREAM.

Posted: Aug 16, 2004 8:07 pm
It's real.
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 8:27 pm
i actually kind of like the everybody plays the same short set in a random amount of time idea. very democratic, and still not very captialistic. oh and, and the jackmonkeys were a great trio!
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 8:30 pm
What a wad.

In the time it took me to read those 500 words of dogshit, he actually made me hate music.

Loosen That Fuckin' Rag You Stupid Dickhead,

Posted: Aug 16, 2004 9:13 pm
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 9:18 pm
OK, maybe the note is real, but what does everyone really expect from a guy who is approaching 60 and has spent his entire career in a band with an egomaniac known worldwide as "The Boss"?

Read "Mansion on the Hill" for insight into this.

Nanne Tepper
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 10:28 pm
Someone convinced me this is real.
Well, if Tony Soprano doesn't wack this fuck I'm gonna ask our local mobster Amsterdamse Willem to deal with it.
joe danger
Posted: Aug 16, 2004 10:30 pm
jimi hendrix experience, blue cheer, cream, west bruce and lang...the power trio has reigned supreme!!
Posted: Aug 17, 2004 1:14 am
what the fuck does this guy know about anything...he's a fuckin joke...I get embarrased for him while listening to his pathetic radio show...all those lame ass stories he throws in there.

He's completely out of touch with everything

lollipop blackout
Posted: Aug 17, 2004 11:30 am
I never knew Little Steven was such an authority on "the look."
Where did this come from? Who leaked it? What website or newspaper reprinted this? Who's the "Deep Throat" here?
All the trios need a Daltreyesque lead singer. I always thought that was the problem with the Krunchies.
Posted: Aug 17, 2004 11:51 am
He will find you money to get extra members! If I was there I would hire another Go Go girl/stripper with tambourine - on Little Steven's expense...
Nanne Tepper
Posted: Aug 17, 2004 12:46 pm
Yeah, who got us this treat.

I'm gonna put up that letter on my website and put a price on the fuckers head.

Nanne Tepper
Posted: Aug 17, 2004 4:18 pm
It's up.
Totally born in the USA.
No Big Thing
Posted: Aug 17, 2004 8:17 pm
I'm surprised Little Steven didn't address bands' need to make sure they had a cohesive 'smell.'

Judging by my experiences with him at the mini-Cavestomps and the last "big" Cavestomp it's patchoulli.


Posted: Aug 17, 2004 8:38 pm
I would like to point out that Lil' Steven went though the trouble of getting Chris Columbus ( THE DUDE WHO DISCOVERED AMERICA) as director. And also it would be a great idea since we're tight on time if no bands played and just walked around on stage so we can see if they have the look or not. That would only take 3.2 minutes for each band so long as they have less than four members––– By "members" I mean penises of course.
Posted: Aug 17, 2004 9:05 pm
Mac Gillicuddys
Posted: Aug 18, 2004 12:45 am
It's true. Lil' Steven hates 3 pc. bands the way Elmer Fudd hates wabbits. I've heard this before from a friend of mine.

Most of Jerry Lee's early Sun stuff was 3 pieces. The Crickets also did some time as a trio.

Posted: Aug 18, 2004 1:12 am
"Traditional Rock and Roll, or Garage Rock as we now call it, is song-based and therefore communicates best with a texture made up of four instruments."

Well unless we're calling iggy an "instrument" The Stooges only have 3 instruments. And they're the freakin' headliners. I bet Little S was bummed when they showed up with no 4th and Watt in his flannel shirt.

He is right about it being impossible to make it as a 3 piece rock band though. Just ask Green Day.

Posted: Aug 18, 2004 1:14 am
come to think of it, he probably just made that remark in the hopes that he could scare up some work for his boy clarence clemens
Posted: Aug 18, 2004 2:31 am
Nobody's mentioned the OBLIVIANS!!!!!!
Posted: Aug 18, 2004 2:54 am
Yeah, Nirvana and Blink-182 never got big being trios, either. It must be dang near impossible.

The new issue of People has a little piece on Mr. Van Sandt and his garage rock show/festival. According to Mr. V kids tell him "thanks for turning me on to the Kinks. Thanks for turning me on to The Animals". Whoa, pretty obscure shit! My parents turned me and most of the people I know on to that shit via long car rides and oldies stations, dunno what vaccum the teens that listen to his radio show live in, but thanks alot, big guy!

Posted: Aug 18, 2004 4:49 am
Send Lil' Steven and Michael Moore to an island so they can continue to punish each other with their twittery, and leave the rest out of it! By the way...who's the gypsy fortune teller on Little Stevens Underground Garage website? She looks beat!

Posted: Aug 18, 2004 6:19 am
Blues Explosion!
suzy bravo
Posted: Aug 18, 2004 8:49 pm
"Just when I thought I was out! ThEY PULL ME BACK IN!"
Bongo Bongo
Posted: Aug 18, 2004 9:17 pm
GreenDay, Nirvana, and Blink 182 are all"virtuoso musician based" bands. Hell, ya have to consult the pros at Guitar Magazine to get the decifered tablature on how to even play their compositions! Losers like DEAD MOON need to work on their chops.
Posted: Aug 18, 2004 9:59 pm
hey, at least little steven has great fashion sense!
JJ Champion
Posted: Aug 18, 2004 10:46 pm
Yeah, Nirvana and Blink-182 never got big being trios, either. It must be dang near impossible.

But look how much huger Nirvana got when they added Pat Smear.

Posted: Aug 19, 2004 2:17 am
Actually, they had that stupid cello player, too.....was she counted as an official member? That makes five.
Posted: Aug 19, 2004 3:59 am
The Limelighters
The Kingston Trio
The Del Rubio Triplets
These are all fine examples of the garage rock sound.
Little Steven
Posted: Aug 19, 2004 4:52 am
Hey, that's cool, if you don't dig the show, that's fine. I'm just trying to put some good rocknroll out there for people to hear, Animals, Kinks, whatever. I grew up on that stuff. There's plenty of other music out there, i'm just exploring a bit of it. Peace- Steve
lollipop blackout
Posted: Aug 19, 2004 8:27 am
Dear Little Steven:

The Kinks? The Animals? What strange names for bands! Are they real? Sounds crazy, man!Who are they?

Van Hammersly
Posted: Aug 20, 2004 9:08 pm
What's funny is, I posted this up on the Little Steven message board just for kicks, see what the reaction would be.
They promptly took it down and disabled my account the next day.
Posted: Aug 20, 2004 9:49 pm
The Nerves
Post-Bell era Big Star
Violent Femmes? (not exactly garage rock, but still great)
Posted: Aug 21, 2004 2:14 am
Kinda old school, dunno if anyone remembers 'em: Gories.
ed oblivian
Posted: Aug 21, 2004 2:17 am
Gories? Never heard'em on underground garage. What kinda music do they play?
Posted: Aug 21, 2004 3:21 am
Posted: Aug 22, 2004 11:30 pm
bad times!
teenage rejects!
loli & the chones!
jaoquim peso
Posted: Aug 23, 2004 6:44 am
hey i like being dominated by hard rock
Steve Beat
Posted: Aug 23, 2004 8:43 am
I wish he wore the Sopranos outfits all the time instead of that Maharishi getup he's rocking on his website. I think Silvio dresses pretty boss.
suzy bravo
Posted: Aug 24, 2004 2:50 am
I wish that Little Steven would cameo on the Sopranos as little Steven and get his ass kicked by the Sopranos version of little Steven. That would be cool.
Posted: Oct 21, 2005 11:46 pm
the three suns!
Posted: Oct 22, 2005 12:21 am
the subsonics, supercharger, coachwhips

did the dirtbombs get the title "if you dont already have a look" from this memo?
Posted: Oct 22, 2005 6:17 am
did the dirtbombs get the title "if you dont already have a look" from this memo?

yes they did.

man, FINALLY a place where people understand WHY I QUIT THAT JOB!

did anyone ever notice that on little steven's last solo album, his band was a 3-piece "hard rock" band? ("born again savage")
Posted: Oct 22, 2005 8:33 am
mmm, that sounds delightful
Posted: Oct 23, 2005 5:45 pm
man, i forgot about this bullshit. what a maroon....
Posted: Oct 23, 2005 5:59 pm
oh... the bullshit continues. there's an "editorial" he "wrote" in the current issue of Billboard advocating Saving CBGB.
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