Someone in the center keeps calling "Dial-A-Prayer" then transferring the call to other numbers.

Not bad. If this thread gets enough hits, I'll post some of the things I've seen union do to management, management do to union, & management do to management.

welding someones toolbox shut

I want to know!!!

heh. when i worked at mci doing deaf relay, i used to transfer prank calls or nigerian scam calls over to spanish relay or over to another person's computer. it was pretty hilarious. especially when i didn't like the person. after a while, they did something to prevent us from transferring the calls to another person's work station. sucky because i had such a joyful time harassing other coworkers with that. heh.

One time, when Visa heads were walking the building, a co-worker kept getting on the building intercom that my extension had "Jack Meoff" holding for a call.

knock, knock...

used to write haywood jablome as a reference on job applications...

used to write haywood jablome as a reference on job applications...

Good work, Christian!



We got a new tuff book lap top pc at work, and the old guy who's been with the company 25+ years wanted to try it out. The supervisor said its voice command and told the pc "computer on" and hit the power button when the old dude wasnt looking. Then told old guy to try it. Computer on, over and over. He got his face down into it and was yelling, we were pissing our pants it was so fucking funny. I cant wait till Im old. Oh yea, I am.

When I worked for Case-IH, me and my friend once frizbeed an entire box of precision machined shims into the river out of boredom one night. My favourite was unplugging the cables out of the production line computer and watching the foremen trying to work out what was wrong. As soon as they\'d go off to find a tech guy, we\'d plug them back in. I also found that if I held down the lever on the hydraulic press I worked at, the fuses would blow and cause at least an hour of enforced idleness while maintenance turned up and everyone of the line would run around in panic. A popular one was to see someone\'s lunch box on a workbench, take the sandwiches out and nail the box to the bench then put the sandwiches back in and watch them try and pick it up.

Once when I worked in a warehouse, we recieved packages of parts from the German part of the company. One day we recieved an enormous box which contained another smaller box in a ton of packaging. Inside that was another box and so on until finally, at the centre was a small box containing a single bolt. We air-freighted them back, at great expense to the company, a Donny Osmond scarf we had hanging in the wash room packaged in a similar manner.

A popular one was to see someone\'s lunch box on a workbench, take the sandwiches out and nail the box to the bench then put the sandwiches back in and watch them try and pick it up.

Beautiful.


We air-freighted them back, at great expense to the company, a Donny Osmond scarf we had hanging in the wash room packaged in a similar manner.

Even more beautiful.

Not very funny, but frustrates the living shit out of someone:
When someone is away from their workstation (i.e. "computer"), do a screen capture of the open windows of whatever programs they're working with. Set that file as the background image on their desktop and "hide desktop icons". Wait for them to return to their computer.

We also have a phone system where you can "voice call" someone, turning the speaker on on their phone to amplify whatever you say into your mouthpiece. Makes it possible to throw fart noises into people's cubicles like a master ventriloquist. Questionably funny, but deeply satisfying. Now if I could figure out how to throw the stink...

Also great if you have friends who work in restaurants and bars:
Shitting in the urinals.

quick: we are shipping a body to prince edward island, canada in an hour. what should i do????

take out the body and nail the coffin to the guerney, hilarity will ensue

or pin a note to the deceased that reads: "take off, you hoser!"?

FILL IT FULL OF COCAINE!!!

Or just stuff a summer sausage up the butt.

Or dress him in a x-tra small suit and when they call and say "wtf?" be like "dude, I thought you had given me the measurements in metric so I converted them, my bad!"

used to write haywood jablome as a reference on job applications...

Good work, Christian!
GOD DAMN RIGHT!!!
as rev jeremiah wright would say, its in the bible...

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (Song of Solomon 2:3)

knock, knock...

Whose there?

(this better be food related)

smell mop

smell mop Who? pray tell

get it? smell my poo

No. You smell my poo poo!

"And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight." (Ezekiel 4:12)

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, [even] the dung of your solemn feasts; and [one] shall take you away with it." (Mal 2:3)

I've seen at least 2 John Waters related references on the landover website.

they were a favorite of mine a couple years ago but now theyre getting too jokey. they used to genuinely piss people off but then they got too much exposure and now its all about merch.

this probably belongs in the things that influenced my sense of humor thread, but heres landover baptist's founder giving a speech on cspan about 5 years ago, heres a excerpt from it:

One I've always wanted to try is switching the "m" and "n" keys on someone's computer keyboard.

quick: we are shipping a body to prince edward island, canada in an hour. what should i do????
Pierce the head of his ding-a-ling. "Ohh...I thought you said Prince ALBERT Island! Woopsie."

We used to have a busted up cymbal floating around the shop. We hung it on some wire and would sneak up and crash it right behind people while they were trying to concentrate. Then it disappeared.

Lately we've taken to zip-tying people's carts together.

Ezekiel

They should have listened to that guy. The city fell!

I thought you said Prince ALBERT Island!

THAT is fukkin' funny!

Pierce the head of his ding-a-ling.


its a she and she was 103!

Do you have to send on her personal effects too? Throw in a few half smoked doobies, a Slayer tape and swingers personal ad magazine with half the numbers circled and then crossed out with little score points and notes added ("couldn't get it up, and he's not even half my age", "25 years old and couldn't last more than three hours. definately not calling this guy back" etc)

Hire THIS GUY

Take a shit on a piece of paper and smear it along the under side of window sills, desks etc. They know something smells like fresh shit, but where the hell is it coming from? Thats more of a last day kind of prank though. And it helps if you hate your co-workers.

A friend of mine used to work at the call center for a satellite TV company. On his last day of work, some old lady rang up and was worried that she'd ordered the service and had the satellite installed but wasn't getting any signal. He looks it up on the computer and sees that everything is in order but they just forgot to switch it on. He tells her to go get a potato, slice it in half, put one half on the right side of the TV, &c. When she did this, he hit the switch.