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Goner Message Board / ???? / Bike Racks!!
Posted: Apr 24, 2008 2:30 pm
 
The security guard at my bank started hassling me because I locked my bike up to a handrail. I asked him where the bike racks where and he told me there were bike racks 2 blocks away. WTF! I told him I was just as much a customer as the fat pieces of shit who drive down to the bank, why the fuck do I have to park my bike 2 blocks away. I'm going to go out and randomly key cars till I feel better.
Posted: Apr 24, 2008 2:36 pm
 
super lame.
Posted: Apr 24, 2008 2:38 pm
 
lock their cars to handrails.
Posted: Apr 24, 2008 3:15 pm
 
I'd tell the bank manager that you are finding another bank because their security guard gives you shit.
Posted: Apr 24, 2008 3:16 pm
 
Thats pretty fucked up. I don't know if it's because i'm in there all the time, but i just bring my bike in the bank and they never say a word about it.

Try that and see what they say. And as you're passing the security guard on the way to the teller, tell him to keep an eye on it for you and just keep walking.
Posted: Apr 24, 2008 4:46 pm
 
I'm thinking about stealing my neighbors bike and locking it to the front door so they can't open in the morning. I also hate my neighbor.
Posted: Apr 24, 2008 4:50 pm | Edited by: SSSSSSS
 
I bring my bike in the bank with me, lean it up against a fake potted plant.

My other bank's inside the Fred Meyers. I bring my bike in there too.
Posted: Apr 24, 2008 4:52 pm
 
That bank's too small for a bike, though. I just leave it in produce.
Posted: Apr 24, 2008 5:06 pm
 
I hate security guards. They're always the Barney Fife type. Tell him to suck it.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 9:17 am
 
just get some roller blades.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 9:22 am
 
locking to handrails is lame. esp. here in ny. i ride all the time. lock it to a no parking sign.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 9:46 am
 
so did you lock it up two blocks away? what's that fucker going to do? he's not a cop. he has no power. he's just there to get shot when the bank gets robbed. plus you're probably bigger than him. intimidate him with your kung fu, then go in for a kiss. he'll leave you alone after that.

and i whole heartedly agree with windy. tell the bank. they love your money.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 11:47 am
 
Anyone have experience with those Xtracycle things? They were all over in Portland and now that I'm car-less and sorta far from the grocery store they seem like maybe a good idea. They look pretty goofy though.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 11:54 am
 
what happened to your thing? DUUUUUUDE!!!!
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 12:15 pm
 
what happened to your thing? DUUUUUUDE!!!!

Not to worry- it's in Portland, at a safe distance from the gnarly drivers and extreme road salt of Chicago.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 12:30 pm
 
They look pretty goofy though

Brayup!
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 12:32 pm
 
I wonder if it's socially acceptable to ride a segway into the bank, grocery store, etc. As far as I can tell, that mode of transport is no better than a rascal scooter- you might be standing upright, but you're still lazy. However, you look pretty awesome.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 12:49 pm
 
if the fat fucks in a rascal can do it, so can segway fags
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 1:14 pm
 
Anyone have experience with those Xtracycle things? They were all over in Portland and now that I'm car-less and sorta far from the grocery store they seem like maybe a good idea

Trikes are surprisingly popular here. I guess they are a good fit for new orleans, nobody is rushing to get anywhere and you don't have to worry about balancing on two wheels when you're shitfaced.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 1:25 pm
 
Xtracycle

they, or versions like them, are fairly common here. as useful as they are or seem its just one step away from recumbant bikes for me.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 1:50 pm
 
just one step away from recumbant bikes

Sort of my thoughts too.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 3:36 pm
 
I saw a security guard rolling one of these the other day.

Sweet ride! I was instantly reminded of the time I saw a airport cop totally eat shit on his Segway! Maybe the three-wheeler will reduce cop and rent-a-cop injuries.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 3:43 pm
 
now that I'm car-less and sorta far from the grocery store they seem like maybe a good idea.


your feet don't work? OR ARE YOU TOO GOOD TO WALK TO THE STORE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD???


jesus i need a cigarette.
Posted: Apr 25, 2008 5:45 pm
 
I'm TOO GOOD TO WALK TO Domenick's and buy their shitty produce and then walk all the way home loaded down with 20 lbs of groceries.
Posted: Apr 26, 2008 9:59 am
 
just one step away from recumbant bikes


then before you know it you're hosting a vegan thanksgiving
Posted: Apr 26, 2008 10:16 am
 
this thread's ok but the old rack thread still has it beat
Posted: Apr 26, 2008 6:12 pm
 
Ahhh, yes. That reminds me the girls next door were suntanning in the front yard when I rolled in from Wendy's - I'm going back outside...
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 9:26 am
 
I don't understand why cops are on segways or electronic tricycles? All you have to do is run up some stairs and they are fucked. I mean, they aren't gonna leave behind their super expensive sidewalk car. If it got stolen, that would be very embarrassing.
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 7:38 pm
 
I wonder if it's socially acceptable to ride a segway into the bank, grocery store, etc

they won't let me roller skate in the piggly wiggly or the circle k on madison here in memphis. total crock of shit. i'm a paying customer too. i was going in to buy a damn drink. fuckers. they say it has some stupid shit to do with insurance. lame.
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 7:47 pm
 
lock it to a no parking sign.

HELLO!

And if you can't find one of those, pull Windy's suggestion as you lean your bike against the bank manager's desk while you head to the teller window, cavalierly tossing your veiled threat over your shoulder.
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 7:52 pm
 
Back to the bike rack thing...

You may want to contact the bank manager or send a letter or email to there comment resource. That's the kind of thing businesses with clients, like banks, don't like their employees to do. Assuming you were being a prick, banks like having customers more than they like smart ass(it seems) security guards. They don't want to have to replace you nor have you out there badmouthing them for any reason; especially their lack of "green" vehicle support or because the employees act like irreverent dicks and tell you to park your bike two blocks away. I would bet the response from the manager would go somewhere along the lines of "here's a solution the guard didn't know about", "we're working on a solution right now," "we will work on a solution" or "go ahead and lock the bike to the rail."
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 9:44 pm | Edited by: SSSSSSS
 
I'm a lazy bastard who doesn't care to dig out the bike lock, then dig for keys unless I'm gonna be at a place for more than 15 minutes. Fucking with alla that shit ain't worth it for a visit to the bank whether they got decent bike parking or not.

I only bother doing that if it's a long visit, like applying for a loan or some crazy shit like that....

If they bitch about it I can talk to them for a minute and convince them that I'm mentally retarded enough to deserve full rights under the ADA. It comes naturally...
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 11:59 pm
 
Assuming you were being a prick, banks like having customers more than they like smart ass(it seems) security guards.

That should have said "Assuming you wereN'T being a prick." Freudian slip or something I guess.
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