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Goner Message Board / ???? / Band names you've always wanted to use but never got around to
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 5:04 pm
1) Chairman Wow
2) Nigger Mortis (turns out it's a Gravediggaz album...)
I have more but I can't think of them. Chairman Wow ought to be enough though. Why does no one appreciate that name???
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 5:09 pm
When I was ten I wanted to have a powerpop band called The Limit. When kids asked about the logos drawn all over my Trapper Keepers, I'd lie and say it was my cousin's band. Not a good name at all...
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 5:13 pm
Was it a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper?
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 5:15 pm
rejectionist shash
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 5:33 pm
I'm glad Power Pop was not even thinking about being a part of my vernacular at the age of ten.

Chairmain Wow is very gay and communist. Move to Olympia. or Portland. or Eugene. Hmmm, I think Eugene might be the best home for Chairman Wow.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 5:52 pm

Also, Welfare Mothers.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 6:16 pm
I always used to think Negroid would be a great name for a hardcore band. Still do, just not sure how much I wanna use it anymore.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 6:22 pm

Also, The Ruthless Dukes, but I didn't want to snag it from that guy on termbo.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 6:27 pm
I'm glad Power Pop was not even thinking about being a part of my vernacular at the age of ten.

Get real, dude, there are worse things. My favorite bands around then were, Blondie, Devo, AC/DC and the Knack....wow, what a little freak! KFRC, KMEL, KOME ("Don't touch that dial, it has kome on it!")...life was good and simple.

Was it a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper?

I'm sure unicorns were probably involved. Or rainbow roller-skates.

Chairman Wow is funny.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 6:43 pm

Band name thief!

I always wanted to be the founding member of "The Alienators"
en homage, of course.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 6:45 pm
And I'm still upset Wendy C never used "Risky Eggs" for her all-girl group.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 7:20 pm
Band names are going to have to get ridiculously complicated in 10 years time.

Either that or even more nonsensical.

that said: Jungle Cop or The Jungle Cops
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 7:59 pm
The Aarron Morons.. get it, Aarron Moran from Happy Days...joke.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 8:02 pm
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 8:17 pm
Loki & The Hostilities
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 8:19 pm
Band name thief!
If I was thieving I woulda said The Chigger Lovers
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 8:25 pm
The Go Cups.

Actually, I did start it a million years ago, but never got past the rehearsal stage. It was all-girl garage trash.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 8:28 pm | Edited by: dale
June Bug and the F-10's
Shelly Smells Like Tuna
The Kick Your Doors Down
The Rollins Stoned
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 8:42 pm
still holding out for: the jew run media
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 9:12 pm
Full Blown AIDS
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 10:03 pm
hitlerites or thee ratlines
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 10:35 pm
Nazi Metal Energy.

but it was already taken anyways.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 10:41 pm
The Rig Nigs
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 10:59 pm

YEAH! best band name ever
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 11:03 pm
Land Bong....
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 11:05 pm
I like Pecan Sandienistas.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 11:16 pm
Jesus Christ and the Apostles (songs were written!)
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 11:24 pm
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 11:25 pm

Sounds like a fine Thurs-nite bill at the Stone ca 1989.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 11:29 pm
Inflatable beaver
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 11:40 pm
liver raunchy
mr. misty and the dairy queens
the race riots
Posted: Apr 1, 2008 11:54 pm
The Shitty Kids
Mosh Parts
Sports Team (mostly 'cause it would be awesome to have t-shirts that say Sports Team)
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 12:09 am | Edited by: a cobb
me and my friend started a band called Spectator Sports during a Pterodactyl show in a garage a few years back. We played three songs on their shit before they kicked us out.

also we were gonna start a nu-metal band called the My-Imz where we just did air guitar silently and a straightedge emocore band called A New Autumn so we could shorten it to XANAX. Still need to do the straightedge band.
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 6:19 am
milk milk lemonade
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 9:18 am
Jewey Jewis and the Jews.
Night Manger.
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 9:30 am
Girl group: The Unmentionables. Probably already taken.
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 10:20 am
Sexual Horseshit
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 10:50 am
Jacques Stevedore & The Admiral Tappers
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 10:52 am
I've always wanted to form a grindcore band & call it - 'Pulsating Artery'
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 12:20 pm
Buttsweat and Tears
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 1:16 pm
Tighty Whitey and the Skidmarks
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 1:18 pm
Piss Fuck
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 1:30 pm | Edited by: miss linda
"Sex Offender"
"Corny Corncob & the Cornholes"

I would much rather use one of these names.
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 1:31 pm
rolling stick
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 1:35 pm
"Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name's Corny Corncob, and these are the Cornholes....... This first song is called 'That's not a Woman'...1,2,3,4,"
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 1:48 pm
The Rear Admirals
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 2:26 pm
Dust-Off & the Waterboards
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 3:01 pm
Urethra Franklin
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 3:12 pm
Leather Glacier...

that was me and my old roommate Bobby's NWOBHM band that never got off the ground before he moved to Austin and joined a gay metalcore band.

We even had our first album title picked: Blizzard of Snakes

Last I heard of him he got MRSA and was really sick... Any Austinites know word of "CleanBobby" who played bass for At All Cost?
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 3:26 pm
Urethra Franklin

already taken
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 3:28 pm
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 3:55 pm
tijuana velvet
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 5:31 pm
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 5:39 pm
The Ted Knightmares
Murray Slaughterhouse V
Lou Grant's Tomb
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 6:30 pm
Any Austinites know word of "CleanBobby" who played bass for At All Cost?

Max had him over for thanksgiving. Apparently he doesn't wanna be in At All Cost anymore.
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 7:04 pm
Urethra Franklin
For some reason I've always had a vivid memory of the episode of Alice where Mel had to go to the doctor and found out he had a problem with his urethra, to which the ditzy waitress (not Flo, the other one) responded, "Oh, Urethra Franklin, I love her music."
I remember nothing else about that show.
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 7:05 pm
Smelly Jew Wilco Fan

(sorry, stole this from the NOLA Shows in March thread)
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 7:40 pm
Hell Bento
Posted: Apr 3, 2008 9:49 am
Max had him over for thanksgiving. Apparently he doesn't wanna be in At All Cost anymore.

So is he OK? I'd heard he got a MRSA infection to a life-threating degree, like it had gotten into his bones or something. I heard this in January, I think
Posted: Apr 3, 2008 1:58 pm
Leather Glacier...


I wanted to use Leather Witch, but I can't find tuff enuff dudes to be in my band.

I also like Lil Pet Goat for a satanic twee band.
Posted: Apr 3, 2008 4:02 pm
the million man march
the bad touches
Posted: Apr 3, 2008 5:01 pm
The Valerie Harpers Ferry Slave Rebellion
The Betty White Power Outage
Posted: Apr 3, 2008 6:25 pm
He'd had some health problems by then, I think he was getting better. I'll ask and post again soon.
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 12:04 pm
Electric Jigaboo. First album title: "Every Time You Punch a Queer, God Masturbates." Would play really well I think...
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 12:30 pm
He'd had some health problems by then, I think he was getting better. I'll ask and post again soon.

That's good... I imagine his situation was just blown out of proportion by the time I heard it third- or fourth-hand.

Another band name...

MausFahrt... a takeoff on super-quiet indie whisper-rock. You have to turn your stereo all the way up just to hear it
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 6:27 pm
grindcore/noise: jaded throatfuck

stoner metal: suicide mountain
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 6:44 pm
There's a band out here called Lying Bitch & the Restraining Orders
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 7:46 pm | Edited by: skank police
Lying Bitch & the Restraining Orders

Out here? You...from Denver?
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 8:41 pm
Apparently Max ain't seen him in a while. Maybe not out of proportion.
Posted: Apr 5, 2008 3:20 am
Posted: Apr 5, 2008 3:29 am
Pretty the Quick Black Eyes


Quitty the prick black eyes
The Pretty Quick Black Guys

It all went downhill from there.
Posted: Apr 5, 2008 7:41 pm
Sleazy Bake Oven
Posted: Apr 6, 2008 3:12 pm
ass dander
Posted: Apr 7, 2008 2:27 pm
Out here? You...from Denver?

Nope, Bay Area. They're playing a local dive and at first I thought they were local...great name
Posted: Apr 7, 2008 3:34 pm
sticky rice & his gooks
Posted: Apr 7, 2008 3:37 pm | Edited by: maggot
I forgot about me and dcr's Jack Johnson/Meatloaf coverband, Meat Johnson
Posted: Apr 7, 2008 6:52 pm
Posted: Apr 14, 2008 10:44 pm
Rusty Cutlass
Posted: Apr 15, 2008 10:42 am
dick finders
dangerous pinkies
baby arm johnson

ok ok so i actually did use that last one. still bears repeating.
Posted: Apr 16, 2008 5:44 pm
HIV & The Posies
Posted: Apr 16, 2008 6:43 pm
thought this one up today: COURTESY ABORTION
Posted: Apr 16, 2008 6:52 pm
America's Next Top Rapist
Posted: Apr 16, 2008 6:54 pm
Posted: Apr 16, 2008 7:34 pm | Edited by: Mark Rochambeaux
Grover Cleveland Steamer
Posted: Apr 16, 2008 8:01 pm
America's Next Top Rapist

Ever play that game where you replace a word in a movie title with the word rape? I hated it at first...took offense. But now I think it's funny- though still awful. (eg: Back to the Rape, Rape to the Future, Bill and Ted's Excellent Rape.)
Posted: Apr 16, 2008 10:36 pm
wow i can hear you vomiting in your mouth
Posted: Apr 17, 2008 12:45 am
thank you for not raping
Posted: Apr 17, 2008 1:10 am
Grover Cleveland Steamer

i just spit my drink out when i read that.
Posted: Apr 17, 2008 3:29 am
ching chang and the laundromats
Posted: Apr 17, 2008 9:31 am | Edited by: Jay
Ever play that game where you replace a word in a movie title with the word rape? I hated it at first...took offense. But now I think it's funny- though still awful. (eg: Back to the Rape, Rape to the Future, Bill and Ted's Excellent Rape.)

seems to me that game works best with movie titles that are only one word.

atonement = rape
unbreakable = rape
Posted: Apr 17, 2008 9:43 am
Posted: Apr 17, 2008 11:44 am
never wanted to use it personally but i used to think THE MAGIC JOHNSONS should have been a sub-epitaph orange county pennywise type band in 1997.
KNOWN ASSOCIATES (might still use this one day but it seems like the album cover would have to look like a Godfathers LP)
KRAKATOA (in KREATOR-font, LP cover is a cartoon volcano with lots of shadowing with band being spurt out of it or something)
UNSACRED COWZ (should be a teenage metal band from Iowa whose name is frequently misspelled as UNSCARED COWZ)
QUARTZ- I was all excited to use this for a California Country type bar band but it has been used by a NWOBM band (who if i ever see one of their records i will get, they sound interesting)

there's a band in the East Bay called CONNIE FUCKING FRANCIS, i have never seen them but that is a great name.
Posted: Apr 17, 2008 2:30 pm
When I'm old I'm forming a white guy blues band called:

Dingles and his Bluesberries
Posted: Apr 19, 2008 3:33 am
The Magical Bowel Movement
Posted: Apr 19, 2008 4:42 am | Edited by: SSSSSSS
Band names of bands I've been in whose names have been co-opted by faggots:
Cake (1988 or so)
BRMC (1985 or so)
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