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Goner Message Board / ???? / How many chances do people get?
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 12:58 pm
 
Do you generally let somebody fuck you over more than once? How many chances do they get?
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:01 pm
 
one and done.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:01 pm
 
Are you a doormat? Are they related? Do you keep grudges? Do you simmer? Are you a bad communicator and that's why you're asking us about forgiveness?
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:04 pm
 
yeah, once.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:06 pm | Edited by: Windy
 
no.
doesn't matter.
depends on the level of fucking over.
not for long - long enough to decide whether or not I am blowing things out of proportion
i'm pretty clear - say what I mean and am bluntly honest


it's not so much about forgiveness as it is knowing when to draw the line. I know where I draw the line. I' m curious about everyone else.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:10 pm
 
Well, don't know about the general populace around here, but, I don't make very many new friends because I think people are the worst. That being said, the friends I have, if they fuck me over even once, they're dead to me. If a relation fucks me over and they don't live in my house, they're dead to me until they visit or something. I'm probably a fool in that I would go to the mat for my "friends" though I doubt they would do the same. I try on focus on myself as I don't get disappointed that way, well, mostly.

Yeah, once and done because they've already shown you their true colors. Fuckers.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:14 pm
 
i'm with the troll
i'll consider apologies, but am always skeptical about the person afterwards

i am pretty much a cynical misanthrope; much less disappointed that way
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:15 pm
 
ok, once if i don't know them. i thought we were just talking about people we don't know. 2 or three depending on how well i know them and how shitty what they did.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:17 pm
 
i am pretty much a cynical misanthrope

This is why I watch 'House', though, how can one trust a Brit who speaks Yank.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:28 pm
 
i read up on the subject and chose to give humanity- as a whole- no chances.

it really saved me a lot of time.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:29 pm
 
i learned the hard way many times....now just once, then FUCK YOU
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:29 pm
 
all i have to say on this is: HARDEN THE FUCK UP!
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:56 pm
 
all i have to say on this is: HARDEN THE FUCK UP!

meaning don't let anybody get close enough to fuck you over?
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:57 pm
 
I used to give second (or multiple) chances, but have since seen that it is pointless.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 2:08 pm
 
don't let anybody get close enough

no, i mean go into catatonic shock or stupor when approached
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 2:22 pm
 
I have decided to systematically ruin all existing friendships and make sure not to make any new ones. Works for me! Then I don't have to get annoyed by, or put up with anyones stupid bullshit.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 2:23 pm
 
depends on who it is and the circumstances. i think even if you forgive, things are never the same if they really hurt you. they say time heals all wounds so take some time and think about it, see how you feel in a couple days or weeks.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 3:05 pm
 
Let's see, your boyfriend is on at least his second family or is it his third?
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 3:33 pm
 
i think even if you forgive, things are never the same if they really hurt you

amen
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 3:43 pm
 
Are you and Menunaire gonna have kids or just raise his first wife's (or was it his second?)
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 3:49 pm
 
what is this, an encounter group?
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 4:00 pm
 
It depends on the person and the situation, but I generally have a three strikes rule.

But if I was on the fence about someone and they screw me over, that can be reduced to a one strike rule.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 4:27 pm
 
windy i pretty much can take a few punches (i know you have witnessed some) but my thing is that when i say i'm done, I'M DONE. goin through some similar stuff now. it's always so amazing to see just how amazed that the fuck overer is so fucking puzzled by it. it's like downs syndrome or something.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 4:56 pm
 
It totally depends. Most of my closest friends and I have fucked each over in the past. It'll happen when you're friends with someone for very large periods of your life, especially if you met while you were young. Take into account things like drug and alcohol problems and there is a lot of room for hurt feelings. I stole the girlfriend of a friend once, he's a closer friend now than he was then. Pretty much every girl I've ever dated has fucked my friends and enemies while we were together, I'm still friends with most of them, the one who consistently fucked me over the most is the one I'm closet with and she's one of my best friends. A friend of mine divorced his wife and first thing she did was start fucking me, but I figured it was alright since this girl I was dating tried initiating a three some with us once and my friend decided to make out with her all night instead of just being a man and fucking her and then somehow she ended up mad at me over the whole thing. My foster brother stole a thousand dollars from me that I owed to a drug dealer that may someday kill me over it. I confronted him about it and he ended up throwing me from a moving vehicle. I guess he figured it was all right though because about eight years before I had stolen a sheet of acid from him, because he refused to pay back three hundred dollars to an ex girlfriend of mine. He owed to her but thought since we were broken up that he could tell her to fuck off. I was still friends with her though even though she got busted with acid and basically put the blame on me, even though it was hers. I ended up taking the fall for her. We're still friends.

I guess the thing is that for me I try and avoid getting close with real douchebags in the first place. I'm a pretty good judge of character and I am in no way a doormat. People make mistakes and sometimes you gotta beat their ass for it, but you don't cut them out of your life completely. I'll cut off a friends finger and bandage him back up and nurse him back to health and kill the next motherfucker he fucks over if the dude tries taking a swing at him for it.

I guess I just love the people I love and I understand that nobody is perfect and sometimes even people I love and care about will get it into their head that doing something totally evil is somehow worth it. I won't let them get away with it, but I won't fucking turn my back on them either. That's why they're your friends.

I think it's also about being secure in your friendship. Sometimes you realize that something things that are really horrible are worth doing, and that you'll get over it anyway. I'm sure all of my friends had very good reasons for fucking me over the way they did when they did it, and I know I certainly have had my good reasons. I may have stolen a friend's girlfriend (actually, technically they were engaged to be married) but that was about eight years ago and I still love and care about her and he's one of my closest friends as well.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 5:30 pm
 
i think we have all learned a lot and grown together.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 5:31 pm
 
Let's keep it short and sweet, okay, Couch Boy? You're not Sarim.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 5:59 pm
 
ive been fucked so hard by so many people i trusted lately, family, friends, etc. that i have to wear a diaper just to contain the anal leakage. that short enough for ya?
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 6:03 pm | Edited by: rich riggler
 
Like I've said before-never get involved with other people ever. Unless it's your wife or kids (and then only if they're not pathalogical backstabbers).
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 7:07 pm
 
Take into account things like drug and alcohol problems and there is a lot of room for hurt feelings. I stole the girlfriend of a friend once, he's a closer friend now than he was then.


oh stop, booze, drugs and/or chicks should never end a friendship, i thought we were talking about being FUCKED OVER! ya know, like legitimate shit...
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 7:24 pm
 
What's legitimate? Plenty of friends have ripped each other off in various ways over the years too. Of course, I guess we all probably care less about material possessions than we usually have booze, drugs or women.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 7:35 pm
 
What do you mean by fuck over?

I mean, I don't think I am a doormat, though I could be wrong, but I generally give people the benefit of the doubt and tend to be pretty forgiving...unless you fuck over one of my friends, in which case I hate you forever, even if I still secretly think you band is really good.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 7:39 pm
 
i thought i got fucked over bad last week but at least my life and liberty werent put in deliberate risk like yesterday.

expect to see alot of ebay auctions coming soon, the first $ i have im sending out the rest of the records. swear to God.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 8:19 pm
 
What's legitimate?

i don't know, i guess i just assumed we were talking about casual acquaintances and/or the dating game, rather than real friends. my little circle of life friends couldn't be fucked up by some isolated booze, drug or chick infraction. but just some random asshole is gonna find themself on a very short leash.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 8:23 pm
 
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 8:25 pm
 
i thought i got fucked over bad last week but at least my life and liberty werent put in deliberate risk like yesterday.


what, someone take the last piece of pizza, or something? ;)
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 9:22 pm
 
This thread had 34. All of them, wasted.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 9:50 pm
 
: (
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 9:55 pm
 
I don't make friends with those kinda people. and if I do they get 1/2 of a chance.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 12:00 am
 
i'm kinda struggling to think of the last time anyone fucked me over. i guess that means i keep most people at arm's length. i don't think that's a good way to be though.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 12:31 am
 
...unless you fuck over one of my friends, in which case I hate you forever, even if I still secretly think you band is really good.

I gotta be case specific here, and it gets me in trouble. I'm a very loyal friend, but obligatory chick solidarity bugs me, why do I have to hate the same people a friend does or vice versa? You gotta let shit go, grudges are a waste of time, and will eventually give you cancer... but I will generally let someone kiss my ass for an appropriate period for one second chance.

We still need a good definition of "fuck you over", though.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 7:52 am
 
I don't make friends with those kinda people.

I didn't think I did either until a couple of years ago when I was fucked over beyond belief. I am VERY cautious now. Even so, it can still happen from the people you least expect.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 9:10 am
 
Yeah, give a def.. Cause dumping isn't fucking over, but it kinda hurts feelings more than if, say, someone was suppose to pick you up but forgot and you had to walk home in the rain, which is fucking over, but not too big a deal.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 9:14 am
 
We still need a good definition of "fuck you over", though.

ok - my definition of being fucked over is someone - family, friends, what have you - that deliberately does things that you ask them not to do because they are hurting you - either physically or emotionally (things that are within their control); people who try to manipulate your relationships with others by lying - basically people who screw with you for the hell of it.

Mainly I consider people who lie to me or about me not worth having in my life. I can deal with people making honest mistakes, but not going out of their way to make trouble for me and mine.

I consider cheating fucking me over because of the lying and the deliberate nature of it. I consider deliberate attempts to sabatoge my friendships or relationships being fucked over. I consider stealing from me being fucked over.

I guess everybody's definition is different. Those are things that I won't do to other people and I expect them not to do it to me if they want to be a part of my life. That's what I am talking about.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 9:57 am
 
I guess everybody's definition is different.

i guess there are basic similarities like social transgressions and totally sociopathic behavior that are unacceptable no matter who you are or where you come from, but individuals are going to have certain mores that they feel should not be crossed. i think when you narrow it all down its all about money and sex.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 10:14 am
 
dumbest fucking thread ever.
sounds like yall been watching
dr. phil too much.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 10:29 am
 
If a person turns out to be a dick I just ignore em.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 10:30 am
 
all my friends rule.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 12:35 pm
 
punching works wonders.
try that.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 12:56 pm
 
punching works wonders.

what, and miss out on the suffering, self pity, grudge holding and drunkingly yammering into some poor fucks ear about "how you've been fucked over by {xxxxxx}"?
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 1:39 pm
 
i used to give people the benefit of the doubt and be nice only to be continually fucked over again and again. however, i have learned that i don't need friends that bad. fuck em and feed em fish heads. i would rather not have stupid fucked up messed up drama floating around my life just for the sake of keeping a friend who should fucking know better than to act like a fucking creep.

you would be surprised the extent of fucking over that some people you would never in a million years expect will do. over and over again. i got tired of being a sucker. i am also tired of people standing up for the people doing fucked up shit too. people will continue to do fucked up shit if you enable them to do so.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 2:16 pm
 
I don't get angry if people fuck me over. They can't take away my happiness. Well unless I got ran over or somehow somebody beat me up and I wound up in the hospital and I had to pay for it all. But I don't know if that could qualify for "fucking over".
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 2:25 pm
 
In space no one can hear you cream.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 3:03 pm
 
punching works wonders.

Yeah, when you're 12. Or just acting like it. Once you're a grown up they start putting you in prison for stuff like that.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 3:17 pm
 
Yeah, when you're 12. Or just acting like it. Once you're a grown up they start putting you in prison for stuff like that.

Yeah, but that's where I feel at home.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 3:18 pm
 
they start putting you in prison for stuff like that.
Not if you make a clean get-away.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 3:23 pm
 
Yeah, when you're 12. Or just acting like it. Once you're a grown up they start putting you in prison for stuff like that.

don't get caught, fuckface.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 3:53 pm
 
I guess you missed the part about being a grown up, loser. If you could ever find a woman to have kids with you that would be a great example for them too. Violent people are stupid. No chances for MM.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 3:59 pm
 
you get one chance to like psychedelic horseshit and times new viking with me. after that, you are dead to me.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 4:03 pm
 
I guess you missed the part about being a grown up, loser. If you could ever find a woman to have kids with you that would be a great example for them too. Violent people are stupid. No chances for MM.

mean people suck?
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 4:08 pm
 
i hate hate
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 5:08 pm
 
i hate hate

me too. especially when it is directed towards me for no good reason.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 5:19 pm
 
I hate chicks who shack up with guys who make fun of my dead mother for no good reason.
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 5:48 pm
 
HATETANK!
Posted: Mar 7, 2008 7:56 pm
 
man, this question has an easy answer...
As many chances as you want to give them! If you want to "give them another chance", then do. If you don't want to, then don't!
Posted: Mar 9, 2008 9:51 pm
 
There are certain things that are likely to happen again: cheating, violence. There is no point sticking around and waiting for patterns to repeat. Trust your highest instincts with people. If somebody is truly remorseful and takes complete responsibility for their actions their is a chance. If they make excuses or try to find a way to blame you for their behavior, they suck so run away and don't look back.
Posted: Mar 9, 2008 10:08 pm
 
run away
pfft. kick their ass out of your life. none of this running shit.
Posted: Mar 9, 2008 10:11 pm
 
Y'all all realize I am NOT referring to the Millionaire, right? Just checking.
Posted: Mar 10, 2008 12:16 am
 
If they make excuses or try to find a way to blame you for their behavior, they suck so run away and don't look back.

i LOVE it when people try to blame ME for THEIR idiotic behavior. especially when they run all over town running their mouth trying to make me look like a bitch. (i'm perfectly capable of making myself look like a bitch, thank you very much.)
Posted: Mar 10, 2008 12:39 am
 
NOT referring to the Millionaire
duh
Posted: Mar 10, 2008 11:49 am
 
If somebody is truly remorseful and takes complete responsibility for their actions their is a chance. If they make excuses or try to find a way to blame you for their behavior, they suck so run away and don't look back.

I agree 110% if by "run away" you mean "kick their asses to the curb"
Posted: Mar 11, 2008 10:46 am
 
it depends if you ended up incarcerated or not.

also, were drugs involved?
Posted: Jun 15, 2008 7:29 pm
 
So, is this rock-bottom? You are actually soliciting interpersonal advice from the socially-deviant, dysfunctional fucknots on the Goner message board? You poor soul. Is it desperation, or did you just take a (very, very) wrong turn in cyberspace? Let me point you in a much better direction:

www.drphil.com/messageboard

My advice to you:

Disregard EVERY post above mine. In fact, I implore to you to do the exact polar opposite of any suggestions contained therein. And, at any point in the future, when in need of a personal guidance, steer clear of these people! Their mothers are jackals!
Posted: Jun 15, 2008 7:43 pm
 
depends on how many quarters you put in the machine

I'm gonna get that fucking pee wee herman doll if I have to try all damn day
Posted: Jun 15, 2008 8:00 pm
 
nigger.
Posted: Jun 16, 2008 11:06 am
 
How do these skinheads keep getting past security in here?
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