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Goner Message Board / ???? / bad pick-up lines to use on DRUNK WOMEN
Posted: Dec 22, 2007 11:13 pm
 
Gimmie crude pick-up lines to use, because until 1-1-08, they\\\'re in season. The worse the better.


( with a drunken slurr)That must be jelly cause jam don\\\'t go with fries and a shake like that.
Posted: Dec 22, 2007 11:16 pm
 
Posted: Dec 22, 2007 11:40 pm
 
Too much woman for me, maybe not drunk enough though.
Posted: Dec 22, 2007 11:48 pm
 
You must be an angel 'cause I'm drunk as shit.

Are those real? The teeth, I mean.

Is it hot in here 'cause I sure smell something smokin'

You must have a light 'cause you're already on fire

Can I buy you another?

Can I write my phone number on your titty?

Elvis is my twin brother.

You remind me of my sister when she was 16 and I was peepin' on her in the shower

I'm not British, want to check out my molars?

Candy, candy, candy, you are SO FINE

When you've had enough let me drive your ass home
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 12:27 am
 
"You're smokin hot. Why don't we go out back and you suck my cock before this beer wears off and you get ugly again"

"Those jeans don't make you look fat. YOU make you look fat. Now suck my cock"

"You know why you're at the bar alone? Because you're a pig. I heard pigs like to suck cock. Piggy want some cock!

Try those Miss Linda.
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 12:36 am
 
I've recently just lowered my standards . Wanna fuck?
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 2:30 am
 
"My gradnfather just died and we closed his estate today. I came into so much money I don't know what to do with myself."
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 2:38 am | Edited by: SSSSSSS
 
"Can I lick your asshole?" - actually worked for me once, but on a sober woman, in broad daylight!
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 4:25 am
 
Wanna fuck?
Best line ever.
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 4:26 am
 
Wanna watch 2 girls 1 cup at my place?
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 5:52 am
 
Geez Jerry. Those are terrible!
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 6:43 am
 
"do you think you can get to your car before i can?"
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 8:19 am
 
"Nice ass, you must really want it."
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 9:36 am | Edited by: bowie
 
Do you wash your pants with windex??.....

Cause I can totally see myself in them.
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 4:48 pm
 
I've got a Sailor Moon costume about your size back at my place.
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 6:10 pm
 
do you have a younger brother?
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 11:31 pm
 
Wanna fuck?
Best line ever.


Old drunk on a bike, 9:00am, circles me while I'm walking to work a while back:

OD: "Hey, baby, wanna go to a party?"

Me: "No, thanks."

OD: "Wanna Fuck?"

Me: "No...thanks."
Posted: Dec 23, 2007 11:35 pm
 
word for the night..... LEGS


whattaya say we go back to my place and spread the word...
Posted: Dec 24, 2007 4:41 am
 
wanna go halves on a bastard?
Posted: Dec 24, 2007 5:45 pm
 
wanna go halves on a bastard?

LOL
Posted: Dec 24, 2007 6:26 pm
 
I'm not a creep and really have a dozen credit cards that I can't wait to max out...can you help me get in debt?
Posted: Dec 26, 2007 9:02 pm
 
I've got a Sailor Moon costume about your size back at my place.

I hope I get the chance to use that one
Posted: Dec 27, 2007 5:13 am
 
i just ate like 50 tic tacs let me get your numba
Posted: Dec 27, 2007 6:30 am
 
The only lame pick-up line that always makes me laugh is
"That shirt is very becoming on you, if I was on you I'd be coming too"

I have no idea why but it never gets old.
Posted: Dec 27, 2007 6:50 am | Edited by: Jack Stands
 
.
Posted: Dec 27, 2007 9:05 am
 
A young girl like you probably still tastes like pee.

wanna go halves on a bastard?

Chris Kaser's favorite line ever.
Posted: Dec 27, 2007 4:48 pm
 
"I don't drink, but I love drunk chicks!"
Posted: Dec 27, 2007 5:12 pm
 
"Since you are unable to give consent, I will not try to hook up with you because I have no interest in being a rapist."
Posted: Dec 28, 2007 2:50 am
 
"You don't sweat much for a fat chick"
Posted: Jan 1, 2010 6:49 am
 
"Women who behave themselves rarely make history. So show us those titties."
Posted: Jan 1, 2010 10:07 am
 
HIGH FIVE!
Posted: Jan 1, 2010 10:52 am
 
Honey I'd stick my tongue up your ass just to get a taste of your bad side. That's not a pick up line, that's a mantra.
Posted: Jan 1, 2010 8:45 pm
 
Used this one last night and it worked! No shit!

me:
"Doesn't anybody just fuck for fun anymore?"

her answer:

"me! lets go!"
Posted: Jan 2, 2010 12:10 am
 
The more you drink the better I look!
Posted: Jan 2, 2010 10:18 am
 
"If you ever get mauled by a grizzly bear I hope he doesn't attack your face, 'cause I think you're cute."

Got the ball rolling yesterday!
Posted: Jan 2, 2010 10:30 pm
 
Used this one last night and it worked! No shit!

me:
"Doesn't anybody just fuck for fun anymore?"

her answer:

"me! lets go!"



Bullshit!
Posted: Jan 3, 2010 2:23 am
 
Drunk chick at the bar I was once working:
"Do you work here?"
"Yes?"
"Do you want to fuck me?"
"No."
"...ok I'll get a beer."
10 minutes later I had to throw her out because she started punching dudes.
Posted: Jan 3, 2010 10:09 am
 
"I know Scott Rogers!"

that one works for me all the time.
Posted: Jan 3, 2010 10:49 am
 
Bullshit!

totally fucking true. best new years eve ever.
Posted: Jan 3, 2010 3:18 pm
 
Mike, I'm glad to read that playing the GENE SIMMONS odds worked again!!!!


My problem is "moral regret/getting rid of the slut" after ejaculation.

Thank you pornography!

do you remember the "naked, naked, Who's seen me NAKED?" game we made up?
Posted: Jan 3, 2010 4:47 pm
 
Does it involve his "no street clothes in bed" rule?
Posted: Jan 3, 2010 10:38 pm
 
"I know Jerry Davidson!" only gets me slapped in the face.
Posted: Jan 3, 2010 11:05 pm
 
"I know Jerry Davidson!" only gets me slapped in the face.

I always thought it was because you had your hand down your pants.
Posted: Jan 4, 2010 9:16 am
 
We're talking about pick-up lines. Not body language, although I learned the old "hand down the pants" trick from Jerry as well. Maybe I'm supposed to put my hand down the girl's pants?
Posted: Jan 4, 2010 1:54 pm
 
"I know Jerry Davidson!" only gets me slapped in the face.


followed by the most intense fucking you'll ever get!
Posted: Jan 4, 2010 2:04 pm
 
Sure. I just wish there was someone there with me.
Posted: Jan 4, 2010 2:29 pm
 
"Girl, I'd climb over a mountain of pussy just to suck the dick of the guy who fucked you last night."
Posted: Jan 4, 2010 2:32 pm
 
you been hanging out at Plato's Retreat?
Posted: Jan 4, 2010 7:12 pm
 
Does it involve his "no street clothes in bed" rule?

I don't want anymore filth in my bed than there really hastabe thank you.
Posted: Jan 13, 2010 7:16 pm
 
Does it involve his "no street clothes in bed" rule?

No sam, it's about who all in the room has seen you naked.

The flaw in the game is that the ultimate winner is the person who stripps down infront of everyone, or the "last" one, and that's where homosexual accusations, and cops get involved.
Posted: Jun 18, 2010 1:20 pm
 
"I'd eat a mile of your shit if you showed me where it cum frum."
Posted: Jun 20, 2010 12:00 am
 
im surprised yr not in a wheelchair after fallin from heaven surpreised yr feet aint burned from fallin so faaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssttttttttttt
Posted: Jun 20, 2010 6:31 pm
 
"did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 'cause your face is really fucked up."
Posted: Jun 20, 2010 7:19 pm
 
"Hey, niiiiiiiiiice cock."
Posted: Jun 21, 2010 3:17 pm | Edited by: Tiger Blinds
 
"Girl, I'd climb over a mountain of pussy just to suck the dick of the guy who fucked you last night."


That's reminds me of The Bad Seeds "Stagger Lee" where he's like, "I'd climb over 50 good pussies just for one fat boys butthole"...that song is derranged...and great.
Posted: Jun 25, 2010 7:44 am
 
I bet you look good naked and I'm having a naked party.
Posted: Oct 3, 2010 2:18 pm
 
I bet you look good naked and I'm having a naked party.

Beat it, homo.
Posted: Oct 4, 2010 8:46 am | Edited by: tigerblinds
 
I stole that line from Alex Chilton...you're the homo. You're not invited to the next naked party.
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