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Goner Message Board / ???? / Best. Spam text. Evar.
Posted: Dec 13, 2007 8:28 pm
 
A Mr. "Casper delario", whom I have never met, just sent me this email:

Subject: lemmup1

Text:
think the girls will accept your tiny dick? think again buddy
Posted: Dec 13, 2007 9:13 pm
 
Wendy J. Dye sent me this a few days ago:

Subject: Santa will bring more length and strength to your willy!
Posted: Dec 13, 2007 9:18 pm
 
I got one that just said:

niggardly bowling ball
Posted: Dec 13, 2007 9:21 pm
 
spam on fire! wow!
Posted: Dec 13, 2007 9:40 pm
 
niggardly bowling ball
that was sublime.
Posted: Dec 13, 2007 10:19 pm
 
purple monkey dishwasher
Posted: Dec 13, 2007 10:50 pm
 
girls do not like you because your dick is too small

subject line.
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 1:11 am
 
wow, queenie. i never knew you had a dick. much less one that is too small.
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 2:09 am
 
queenothetwist is a dude
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 2:28 am
 
no way, she's the hot soccer mom of the goner board
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 3:25 am
 
my boss actually got this sent to him -


I sent this directly to you via The Curse Of The Wicked Soul.
Cradling the powers of the Orunmila to Wizard Of Ingoni, I have
unleashed an army of seventy-two spirits and demons. The Eiye Efe
will gaze from above as the summons of the spirits appear before your
eyes. My cosmic powers have grown from the fears of deception and
will reek havoc and spill the blood of the guilt. I have carved marks
of evil into your conscience and your spiritual blindness will direct
you to fall into the hands of proper authorities. The curse will
begin when I attach this written segment of your soul "hope you are
christain, in the name of the almight God. help me thanks". For you
have only made me wiser. Money is just paper in which I used to buy
your soul. If you would like it returned unharmed, you must make
ammends to the deception you have brought amongst yourself. If you do
not, you will live for eternity in the firey pits of hell and in fear
of Bytor, Light of Darkness, Centurion Of Evil, Devil's Prince.
The U.S. Secret Service and the FBI will be on this case if the funds
is not sent today.
Jim "Wizard" Waskowiak
Owner Of Your Soul
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 3:27 am
 
I got this when I gave my address to psycho fred:

Спецпредложение для Вас. Дом отдыха - Олимп. лада
Posted: Aug 1, 2008 11:15 am
 
Cradling the powers of the Orunmila to Wizard Of Ingoni, I have
unleashed an army of seventy-two spirits and demons. The Eiye Efe
will gaze from above as the summons of the spirits appear before your
eyes. My cosmic powers have grown from the fears of deception and
will reek havoc and spill the blood of the guilt. I have carved marks
of evil into your conscience and your spiritual blindness will direct
you to fall into the hands of proper authorities.


Hey, I got a Hallmark card that said that very same thing....
Posted: Aug 1, 2008 12:41 pm
 
tapecase, you comin to Gonerfest this year???
Posted: Aug 1, 2008 1:25 pm
 
Bytor, Light of Darkness, Centurion Of Evil, Devil's Prince.

I think yer spam mighta come from Jack Stands.
Posted: Aug 1, 2008 1:30 pm
 
Impress all the ladies with your newly acquired pecker
Posted: Aug 1, 2008 1:33 pm
 
from Margo Hooker:


tendon air imp leucine
tumultuous
reason luxuriate addison
khan reason cloudy metropolis definitive


maloney khan definitive slew shoestring sibling shoestring headsman orbital sibling
eveready
bathroom
lethargy lethargy leucine erode jarvin
squaw sibling lethargy german ulcerate tumultuous badland badland spayed cf metropolis
Posted: Aug 1, 2008 1:42 pm
 
i don't get them any more at my new job, but at the other place it was all like they were in kazahkstanian:


"the girls, they laugh on you, because your jang es too small"
Posted: Aug 2, 2008 2:50 am
 
I e-mailed Margot Kidder once, she told she was gonna cut my head off AND EAT ME.
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