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Goner Message Board / ???? / Make up a joke!
Posted: Nov 1, 2007 6:48 pm
 
Q: What do you call an all-female, all-Irish, death metal band?

A: O'BITCHuary!



Q: What did one photographer say when another photographer professed his love to her in the darkroom while they were processing photos of Smokey Robinson?

A: "I second that EMULSION!!"
Posted: Nov 1, 2007 6:54 pm
 
shut up, Mark!
Posted: Nov 1, 2007 6:57 pm
 
From a couple of weeks ago...

I made up a joke today while on a smoke break about eric o having a neighbor named Careless Jim. Careless Jim kept a bunch of burrowing rodents, but was very careless about it. Eric was gardening in his back yard, when he noticed all his carrots were dug up. Eric shook his fist at the sky at the sky and yells, "Jim's moles got so much holes, I can't stand it."

I didn't really feel much better about myself.
Posted: Nov 1, 2007 8:11 pm
 
I'd like to see YOU try to make up something BETTER, Dustin Medicine!!

Why you gotta all rag on people, just cause they're better at making up jokes than you??
Posted: Nov 1, 2007 8:23 pm
 
one i came up with while driving today...

(after seeing some guy with REALLY baggy pants walking down the street)

"hey, i hear certain states are trying to ban people from wearing baggy pants....if they do that, how are we supposed to spot the stupid people?!"
Posted: Nov 1, 2007 9:15 pm
 
Nigger!

Pretty sweet, huh, Crowbar?
Posted: Nov 1, 2007 9:16 pm
 
Speaking of niggers, where's Jay Reatard?
Posted: Nov 1, 2007 9:21 pm
 
what do you call a bunch of sweet bros in a scion xb?







a tool box!
Posted: Nov 1, 2007 9:21 pm
 
"Jim's moles got so much holes, I can't stand it."

If you could only make a pun out of "I'm not a sicko, I've got a plate in my head" about a pitbull hanging itself...
Posted: Nov 2, 2007 3:17 am
 
I had to stop eating shit 'cause it was making my vomit stink.

I had a booger so big yesterday that I need a knife & fork to eat it.
Posted: Nov 2, 2007 3:19 am
 
Also, I came up with a punchline the other day before I had the joke. It may still need tweeking...

Q:Why do they call it "smoking out"?

A:'Cause pot roast was already taken.
Posted: Nov 2, 2007 11:19 am
 
where's Jay Reatard?
in Seattle next week end with the Boston Chinks playing in Ballard at The Sunset
Posted: Nov 2, 2007 1:08 pm
 
Pretty sweet, huh, Crowbar?

The joke's on you. That one's been around for ages.
Posted: Nov 2, 2007 3:21 pm
 
A Priest, and Rabbi, and Dick Diggler walk into a bar.

The bartender says: "That was yesterday."
Posted: Nov 5, 2007 5:26 pm
 
Made up a new one this weekend!

Q: What do you call it when a piece of shit insults a protractor?

A: A TURD DEGREE BURN!!
Posted: Nov 5, 2007 5:33 pm
 
Q:What's the difference between a lesbian & a whale?

A:The flannel.
Posted: Nov 8, 2007 9:50 pm
 
Q: What do you call a loaf of bread that was made from a vaginal yeast infection?
A: Junk Food.
Posted: Nov 8, 2007 10:30 pm
 
The women in Iraq have shaved their pussy's in protest against the war... Saying: "Read our lips, no more bush!"
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 6:12 am
 
A hobo told me this one while I was waiting in line outside the passport office:

Whaddaya call a lesbian eskimo?

Klondike.

There was a host of other jokes, but it was early in the morning and I didn't want to give him money or cigarettes and I forget the rest...something about an italian foot named Robertoe.
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 6:27 am
 
black lips are racist.
bill clinton is a draft dodger?
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 6:28 am
 
your an idiiot.
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 6:31 am
 
you are child of your sister and live in paperboard box of animal feces. i spit in the diseased cunt of your whorish mother.
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 6:32 am
 
the sonics SUCK.
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 6:34 am
 
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111one...
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 6:34 am
 
(spit)
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 6:47 am
 
skrewdriver werent racist.
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 6:48 am
 
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 6:50 am
 
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 10:23 am
 
If you could only make a pun out of "I'm not a sicko, I've got a plate in my ankle" about a pitbull hanging itself...
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 3:01 pm
 
The women in Iraq have shaved their pussy's in protest against the war... Saying: "Read our lips, no more bush!"

You didn't make that one up pozer!
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 4:47 pm
 
you watch your tone with me mark!
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 4:50 pm
 
Hey Josh, are you at work in New Berlin?
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 4:55 pm
 
what? u gonna come beat me up mister?
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 5:12 pm
 
No, geez. Take a chill pill, FAG HEAD. I was just wondering cause I am working in New Berlin too!
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 5:26 pm
 
well thats just great! haha, just kiddin mark. i was tryin to be funny
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 5:26 pm
 
lets have lunch
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 5:28 pm
 
no that'd be gay
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 5:28 pm
 
no it wouldnt
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 5:28 pm
 
yeah it would
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 5:29 pm
 
whatever
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 5:29 pm
 
okay shutup
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 5:30 pm
 
u shutup!
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 5:30 pm
 
no!!!
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 5:59 pm
 
I just ate lunch.
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 6:16 pm
 
eat shit nanne... what kinda name is that anyways? are you a girl?
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 7:51 pm
 
Reent-toont-teent-toont-teenooneenoonee who?
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 8:41 pm
 
what'd the dead baby get for its birthday?



thrown in a dumpster!
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 8:47 pm
 
I was just wondering cause I am working in New Berlin too!

you gaylords could meet up at chumley's for appletinis
Posted: Nov 9, 2007 9:00 pm
 
Nah, I already got plans: PORKIN' YOUR MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Consider yourself zinged, sir.
Posted: Nov 12, 2007 3:29 pm
 
Q: What would Miles Davis be named if he had been born in France?

A: Kilometers Davis!
Posted: Nov 13, 2007 6:49 pm
 
Q: What do you call a mechanically inclined homosexual?
A: Handy dandy.
Posted: Nov 14, 2007 5:54 am
 
Posted: Nov 14, 2007 5:57 am
 
Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 2:45 am Post subject: Reply with quote
i assume this lp is a promo for upcoming release sent to me because i am a world renown pod jockey of some merit as well as record reviewer.

poison ivy looks hot in her kkk bikini robe and basically they just do skate punk versions of johnny rebel classics.

im thinking of putting a song on my next podcast episode but i dont think i want to support this kind of trash.
Posted: Nov 14, 2007 5:59 am
 
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 1:58 am
 
Q: What brand of bottled water comes from the flood waters of New Orleans?

A: AquaFEMA
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 8:09 am
 
Knock Knock

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo Who?

IT'S JUST ME! YOU DON'T HAVE TO CRY!
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 8:52 am
 
Knock Knock

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo Who?

IT'S JUST ME! YOU DON'T HAVE TO CRY!



That's not made up. That's old.

Q: What has a moustache and doesn't deliver to Tricknee?
A: Crowbar
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 2:22 pm
 
Q: What hasn't seen me in months and has only communicated with me via message board posts and VERY disrespectful text messages?

A: Tricknee


Q: What needs to learn about the affordable and reliable services of the United States Postal Service if they want their shit delivered in a timely fashion?

A: Jack Stands



But yeah, sorry dude. I'll get it to him next time I see him. Hey Todd, when you gonna be here again?
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 3:00 pm
 
A man and a woman were driving on Hartford Pike in RI, the man looks out the window and says \"Was that Scituate?\" The woman turns to him offended and says, \"No, it was clams.\"
Posted: Nov 22, 2007 6:35 pm
 
Q: What do you call two pieces of bread that hang out at the ends of the loaf and smoke weed?

A: High heels!
Posted: Nov 22, 2007 7:02 pm
 
Stolen one: I asked my girlfriend to tell me something that would
make me happy and sad at the same time.

She said I've got a bigger dick than my dad.
Posted: Nov 23, 2007 6:47 pm
 
Q: What do you call a hirsute dope smoker?

A: Hairy Pothead
Posted: Nov 23, 2007 9:48 pm
 
Also stolen:

Q: Did you hear about the blind hooker?

A: You really gotta hand it to her.
Posted: Nov 26, 2007 8:26 pm
 
Q: What would Kevin Dubrow be doing if he were alive today?
A: Banging His Head on the inside of his casket.
Posted: Jan 14, 2008 2:03 pm
 
Q: How come everybody in Afghanistan is soaking wet?

A: Because of the TOWEL BAN!
Posted: Jan 14, 2008 10:54 pm
 
Q:Heard about the new type of Bermuda grass called "Angelina Jolie"?
A: It's great because it cuts itself!
Posted: May 20, 2008 2:53 pm
 
Q: How can a woman tell if she's PREGO?
A: If she misses her RAGU!
Posted: May 20, 2008 3:10 pm
 
i made this one up myself, i'm rather proud:

Q: how many metalheads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: metal sucks
Posted: May 20, 2008 6:32 pm | Edited by: miss linda
 
Here's a good joke.

"What has(make up a derogitory description of a person in the room)?",and then point directly at the stooge and say their full name.

I like this joke but not many other people do.
Be prepaired for retaliation.
Posted: May 20, 2008 6:35 pm
 
Don Rickles Rocks!!!
Posted: May 20, 2008 6:42 pm
 
Did I miss the Prego/Ragu joke?
Posted: May 20, 2008 6:42 pm
 
I did! Never mind.
Posted: May 21, 2008 1:12 am
 
Q: Who loves pizza?
A: Retards.
Posted: May 22, 2008 11:41 am
 
No pizza for you Joey.
Wheatgerm & riboflavin.
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