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Goner Message Board / ???? / Honesty in Personal Ads
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 8:28 am
 
So if you ran a personal ad & you had to be honest about yourself & what you really wanted, what would it say?

"Slob, 39, enjoys a drink, live music, & cartoons. Seeks cheerleader type, 18-25, for group sex & housework. Serious inquiries only."



On a lighter note, I found one in a local give-away rag that I had to share.

"PJ Shemale priest iso para or quadriplegic Asian ladyboy for nude communion and wheelchair races.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 2:32 pm
 
"PJ Shemale priest iso para or quadriplegic Asian ladyboy for nude communion and wheelchair races."

that's almost exactly what i'd have to write.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 7:01 pm
 
i think we have found the quote of the day for 7/13
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 7:08 pm
 
i saw a great bathroom scrawl that said:

anyone
like
some ass
call me
6166357869
i even wear
panty
4-29-07
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 7:32 pm
 
In that context, what does PJ mean?
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 7:34 pm
 
haha dcr wrote down the number.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 7:35 pm
 
if i could figure out out to send photos from my phone to webshits i'd post the photo.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 8:17 pm
 
This has been posted before but it deserves an encore:

Are you my soul mate? - 40
Reply to: anon-83488690@craigslist.org
Date: Sat Jul 09 22:50:08 2005

SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.

I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.

I'm 40, but look 50 and feel 60. You are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town but now want to take it slow with me.

My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sleazy bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. No friendships. I don't need any goddamn friends.

Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.

Serious replies only, please.

* this is in or around Felony Flats
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Copyright 2005 craigslist, inc.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 8:48 pm
 
that's goddamn poetry.

kudos that this guy is my neighbor.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 8:53 pm
 
i once answered this one:

I was born a deaf lesbian and I like mutual electronic masturbation.

that's worthy of faulkner, or carson mccullers

she did not reply couldn't hear me knockin i bet
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 8:55 pm
 
n that context, what does PJ mean?
half man half woman
half para half quad
half protestant half jewish
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 8:55 pm
 
6166357869


out of service

damn
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 9:40 pm | Edited by: bowie
 
SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.

I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.

I'm 40, but look 50 and feel 60. You are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town but now want to take it slow with me.

My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sleazy bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. No friendships. I don't need any goddamn friends.

Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.

Serious replies only, please.

* this is in or around Felony Flats


Where was this when I was single and still in Portland??? We sound like a match made in heaven.


I don't know how to post it, but the funniest fucking thing ever is in the "best of" on craigslist... its the same in every city. The title is "super dope blanket fort". Check it out, and if you find it as hilarious as I did/do, then please post it here for the lazier goners.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 9:53 pm
 
he title is "super dope blanket fort"
URL
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 9:58 pm
 
Thankyou. I love that super dope blanket fort. It makes me happy.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 10:00 pm
 
if you are happy i am happy
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 10:00 pm
 
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 10:01 pm
 
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a good time.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 10:26 pm
 
funny shit i think my friend mike wrote this.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 10:29 pm
 
actually, this one is a lot better. and i think it fits the spirit of this depraved board.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 10:29 pm
 
I really like the best of on craigslist. Whoever picks that shit out is right on.
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 10:40 pm
 
funny shit i think my friend mike wrote this.


You see, there will be a time very soon that I will no longer be able to resist your tight 80's jeans-clad sumptiously large camel toe, and I will rip your pants off right there in the laundry room, throw you onto the washer, and bury my tongue into that deep and hopefully slimy crevasse.

lmfao!!!!!
Posted: Jul 13, 2007 11:42 pm
 
6166357869


out of service

damn


and baker called !
Posted: Jul 14, 2007 6:51 am
 
In that context, what does PJ mean?

Professional Jewish in this case
Posted: Jul 14, 2007 7:09 am
 
If you wanna see where the number terminates, try PhoneTrace
Posted: Jul 14, 2007 6:32 pm
 
and baker called !

HEE-HAW!!!
Posted: Jul 14, 2007 6:52 pm
 
"If you wanna see where the number terminates, try PhoneTrace"


holy shit
Posted: Jul 14, 2007 9:00 pm
 
If you wanna see where the number terminates, try PhoneTrace

There's something wrong with me. Even though I was watching it go 'round and 'round, I didn't really notice that the, uh, "chick" had a wiener.
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