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Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:10 pm
 
So, I knew what I was getting into- for the most part- moving to the South and the dangers involved... ticks, snakes, giant flying cockroaches, etc... Also, my dad was bitten by a water moccasin in Virginia when he was a youth, so I get it. BUT, I was in the manager of our apt. complexs office the other day, and everyone seemed really freaked out and talking in hushed tones so I wouldn't hear, but I gathered that something was wrong with the pool. Then the maintence man came in and said that as he was draining the pool, he noticed a crack by the stairs, and he thinks that THAT MAY BE WHERE THE SNAKES ARE COMING IN!!! WHAT? WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK????

Is there any other specifics that I need to be aware of? I am scared shitless now and whenever I am walking and it is wet and/or dark out, I am on the constant lookout for snakes. Where should I look? Any certain places I should stay away from? Help me, goners!
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:11 pm
 
on the plane
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:14 pm
 
you did a good job at avoiding fagmeister's snake.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:15 pm
 
HEE-HAW!!!
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:15 pm
 
Snakes in the pool!

you did a good job at avoiding fagmeister's snake.

Thought you were pissed at me for that.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:18 pm | Edited by: bowie
 
Boy, you guys are just a well of information. Thanks for all the help. So far I have a quote from last years summer blockbuster, some stupid comment that doesn't have anything to do with anything, and a picture of a donkey. Thanks guys.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:19 pm
 
no problem, dude.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:22 pm
 
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:22 pm
 
Thanks for all the help. So far I have a quote from last years summer blockbuster, some stupid comment that doesn't have anything to do with anything, and a picture of a donkey. Thanks guys.

Sorry bowie - that happens to me every time I ask a serious question to the goners. I wish I knew more about snakes than just that they are cold blooded and have unhingeable jaws.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:27 pm | Edited by: bowie
 
Donkey, you rule. Without you the goner board would just be a buncha idiots (myself included) saying sometimes funny stuff.

Also, thanks for the empathy, Windy.

Now I am more terrified than ever, though. I only thought there were water moccasins and one type of rattler around. Turns out 5 very dangerous snakes live in my area. Great!
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:30 pm
 
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:52 pm
 
bowie, other than water moccasins venomous water snakes won't bite you in the water because they will drown themselves. even then most venomous snakes will go out of their way to avoid biting you since venom takes a lot of their metabolism to produce and they don't want to waste it. where do you live exactly?
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 7:59 pm
 
Come back to Portland and play that show with us tomorrow night at the Slab Town!! The only snake you might have to worry about the is a brown snake in an overflowing toilet!!
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:03 pm
 
where do you live exactly?

In Augusta, GA. I know that most snakes will not bite unless provoked. My dad said when he was bitten, the only reason the moccasin bit him is cause he reached out and touched it (he was swimming in a creek and didn't see snake). My problem is that I really like taking walks, and I don't like walking down the side of a highway which doesn't leave me many options here. There is a cemetary next to where we live and I really like walking around in there, but now am scared everytime something moves. Are there certain times of day I should be more aware? Certain weather? Certain conditions?
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:04 pm
 
Come back to Portland and play that show with us tomorrow night at the Slab Town!! The only snake you might have to worry about the is a brown snake in an overflowing toilet!!

And the occasional trouser snake.

I really wish I was there! But I will be in Tacoma soon, KenJo! And you will be seeing plenty of me then!
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:09 pm
 
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:10 pm
 
now she's never leaving the house again
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:11 pm
 
Holy Fucking Sheep Shit! WHAT THE FUCK! NOW I AM GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT SEVERED ARMS AND EXPOSED TENDONS. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT WAS FUCKED UP.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:12 pm
 
Sorry, I should warn you all that the above link is pretty gruesome and NOT for the faint of heart. It is funny though because it's not me.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:13 pm
 
DICK!
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:13 pm
 
HEE-HAW!!!
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:15 pm
 
Jesus! I guess the funny donkey is the new goner thing, huh?
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:15 pm
 
Well, I don't know about Georgia but down here in FLA? Basically you can't ever escape bugs, snakes, lizards, sharks, rays, whatever. Good luck.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:17 pm
 
I've got a little pet rattlesnake right now at my house. It's a youngster about a foot and a half long with 2 and a half rattles. It's in an aquarium curled up next to it's heat rock. Soooooo Cute!!! No seriously, it's a bad accident waiting to happen and I've got to get rid of it. This is the second little baby rattler I've found and kept for a couple months.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:18 pm
 
I have a little gecko buddy that I love. He lives by the pool and when he's trying to look tough his little neck blows up into a big red bubble. I like him.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:19 pm | Edited by: bowie
 
This is the second little baby rattler I've found and kept for a couple months.

You find em and keep em? What do you do with them when they get big/mean?
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:22 pm
 
Soooooo Cute!!! No seriously, it's a bad accident waiting to happen and I've got to get rid of it.

haha!
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:24 pm
 
6 poisonous snakes in georgia


7 if you count chipper jones
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:32 pm
 
You find em and keep em? What do you do with them when they get big/mean?

I've only kept them for a short time... mayba a 2 months or so. i find them under my wood piles or they come up on my front porch in the mornings or late afternoon. I guess you're supposed to feed them "pinkies" which are baby mice but I have yet to do that.

DICK!

Hey bowie,
Make a "snake stick"...
1. Get a broomstick or a length of bamboo atleast 6 feet long. 8 feet is better.
2. Take a butterknife and bend it into the shape of a fishhook or question mark.
3. Wire the butterknife hook to the end of the stick. Make sure you use alot so that it's strong.

You're done. Now when you're hiking and you see a snake. You can hook it in the middle of the body or near the head and fling far away.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 8:36 pm
 
You're done. Now when you're hiking and you see a snake. You can hook it in the middle of the body or near the head and fling far away.


or carry a fucking rabbit ion yr pocket and toss it snakeward

ouch!
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 9:41 pm | Edited by: bowie
 
You can hook it in the middle of the body or near the head and fling far away.

I think I would be far too terrified to do that. I think if I see a snake I will just turn and walk in the opposite direction. I'm not so scared of stuff. My housemate used to have a tarantula, and I have had many friends who have had snakes as pets.... its just the thought of running into one somewhere, or reaching out and touching it while swimming in the pool or something that chills me to the bone.

Aww! And poor baby rabbit.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 10:03 pm
 
Are there certain times of day I should be more aware? Certain weather? Certain conditions?

Does anyone know?
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 10:06 pm | Edited by: Womb Raider
 
I have a little gecko buddy that I love. He lives by the pool and when he's trying to look tough his little neck blows up into a big red bubble. I like him.

It's a green anole, not a gecko.

There is a cemetary next to where we live and I really like walking around in there, but now am scared everytime something moves. Are there certain times of day I should be more aware? Certain weather? Certain conditions?

Unless you are hiking through the woods, I wouldn't worry too much. cottonmouths / water moccasins live in wooded areas near water / swamps. I wouldn't worry about them near any kind of populated area, and they don't like the sun. I have seen several of them in the swamps down here and they are always coiled up in the shade.

I can't imagine snakes wanting to be in a swimming pool since the chlorine would probably kill them, but I guess you never know.

My girlfriend's mom lives in Atlanta and says there are scorpions there. I think she's full of shit.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 10:09 pm
 
snakes like dark, cool, dank spaces, like porn movie auditoriums and in between my ex wife's ears
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 10:16 pm
 
It's a green anole, not a gecko.

Wasn't sure. Good to know.

I can't imagine snakes wanting to be in a swimming pool since the chlorine would probably kill them, but I guess you never know.

Thats what I thought too, but then everythings adaptable to a degree, and they're not breathing through the water, right?

cottonmouths / water moccasins live in wooded areas near water / swamps.

What about rattlers?
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 10:16 pm
 
My girlfriend's mom lives in Atlanta and says there are scorpions there. I think she's full of shit.

she's not. upstate GA and SC are crawling with them.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 10:19 pm
 
upstate GA and SC are crawling with them.



FUCK! Is there anything thats poisonous and DOESN"T live here? For Christs sake!
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 10:23 pm
 

FUCK! Is there anything thats poisonous and DOESN"T live here? For Christs sake!



yes
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 10:23 pm | Edited by: Womb Raider
 
Thats what I thought too, but then everythings adaptable to a degree, and they're not breathing through the water, right?

yeah but neither are all the other reptiles you find dead in a pool's chlorinator thinggy. a pool is basically just a giant frog / lizard killing machine.

she's not. upstate GA and SC are crawling with them.

well I'll be.
Posted: Jun 21, 2007 10:25 pm
 
if you ever run into trouble call him

I roll with trouble
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 12:15 am
 
Are there certain times of day I should be more aware? Certain weather? Certain conditions?

In the Mojave they really seem to come out in the Spring. I've seen them in the Summer and the Fall, but the Spring is when I've seen the most.

In the early morning and late afternoon (dusk & dawn) is when I think they hunt and are active. Atleast that's when I've aways run across them. Somebody told me that they come out at night. At dusk I can find them on the road. They like the warm asphalt.

Watch yourself in tall grass. I always wear calf-high boots outside. I never wear sneakers outdoors. If you're trying to find one during the day look under fallen trees or big rocks... They stay in the shade in the middle of the day. Whatever you do, don't let one bite you on the wiener.
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 1:56 am
 
don't let one bite you on the wiener.




bowie has a weiner?
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 4:46 am
 
bowie has a weiner?
dude where you been? total dude!
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 6:29 am
 
I wish I knew more about snakes than just that they are cold blooded and have unhingeable jaws.

I know that snakes are wrong. They don't fucking have legs...and fling themselves out of trees.

I have had many friends who have had snakes as pets....

Fucked in the head. Esp when they wear them in public for attention. Snake nerds should be punched in their dicks.

What about rattlers?

I'm pretty sure all Beezlebub's demon serpents can swim, and will.

The only real answer? Move to Hawaii, a snake-free land of gumdrops, rainbows, and loads of cute geckos (and a fairly healthy rat population).
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 9:29 am
 
well I'll be.

i could jus' pat yew on the head. yuck. yuck.
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 9:32 am
 

FUCK! Is there anything thats poisonous and DOESN"T live here? For Christs sake!


oh yeah, bowie, don't forget the poison ivy and poison oak. the oak tormented me as a child to the point that it would "sprout" every year or two without contact. it stayed in my blood....
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 10:33 am
 
My girlfriend's mom lives in Atlanta and says there are scorpions there. I think she's full of shit.

she's not. upstate GA and SC are crawling with them.


are they really scorpions or are they those sun spiders/sand puppies/ wind scorpion deals?
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 11:26 am
 
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 3:47 pm
 
Snake nerds should be punched in their dicks.

AMEN!!!
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 7:55 pm
 
Thanks guys. I mean I do appreciate the info, but I may not ever go outside again.
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 9:08 pm
 
bowie has a weiner?
dude where you been? total dude!


And, I am a chick with tits and no weiner, thankyouverymuch.
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 9:09 pm
 
You mean you married a enuch?
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 9:10 pm
 
enuch

I believe that is misspelled. And, if you MUST know, hubbys got a giant weiner. Hence, the wedding.
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 9:12 pm
 
eunucheunucheunucheunucheunucheunucheunucheunucheunucheunuch
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 9:13 pm
 
There ya go.
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 9:14 pm
 
[insert Donkey Hee Haw pic]
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 9:24 pm
 
hubbys got a giant weiner


Dorrian told me it's bigger than Chads (that's not saying much), but not as big as Raphael's (nothing really to brag about either)... I'm not impressed.
Posted: Jun 22, 2007 9:41 pm
 
wear boots when you go on a walk if yer freaked out. i hike all over the ozarks (on trails and bushwhacking) and there are rattlesnakes out the ass. usually during the heat of the day they hide out in the shade in rock piles etc.
Posted: Jun 23, 2007 5:31 am
 
Get a skateboard.

For the pool, I mean.
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