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Goner Message Board / ???? / hey Arm and other dudes with sideburns!
Posted: May 26, 2007 2:18 am
I've been sporting sideburns for the better part of 10 years and I still can't figure out an easy way to get 'em uniform. I take too much off one side, then too much off the other, etc. It's an hour process of shaving and obsessing in the mirror. Am I the only one with this problem? Maybe I'm just an idiot and don't deserve 'em.

I'm thinking I'm gonna invent some sort of template or stencil type thing that can be attached to the jaw somehow for perfect burns every time.
Posted: May 26, 2007 2:22 am
They already have that. But sideburns are for pussies who can't grow a beard.
Posted: May 26, 2007 2:23 am
Posted: May 26, 2007 3:09 am
dammit! I thought I was really on to the idea that I could retire on! but I don't know if that thing would work for the mutton-chops I sport.

I tried the beard thing a few months ago and though it did hide my double-chin a bit, it was pretty pathetic - so yeah, I'm a pussy.
Posted: May 26, 2007 3:19 am
To get the length the same I just put the tips of my index fingers at the bottom of each burn and see if my fingers line up with each other in the mirror. Then I just try and shape em as best as I can by eye. However, my sideburns are small and wimpy, which puts me on a whole nother level of pussy.
Posted: May 26, 2007 3:23 am
i just dont care if they are even or not. im super white trash!
Posted: May 26, 2007 11:31 am
Yeah, don;'t obsess too much. My shit's uneven sometimes, but so is my equilibrium.
Posted: May 26, 2007 11:32 am
And it's scary to think, but I;ve had burns half my fucking life!
Posted: May 26, 2007 11:35 am | Edited by: bowie
Do you shave much like you spell or punctuate?
Posted: May 26, 2007 11:36 am
Okay, spelling is fine. Did I spell 'punctuate' right?
Posted: May 26, 2007 11:42 am
Cmere and look at my keyboard.

Posted: May 26, 2007 5:18 pm
Okay, spelling is fine. Did I spell 'punctuate' right?
Yes, you did. Is this better? I just think it's a waste of time, that's all.
Posted: May 26, 2007 5:20 pm
I turn 32 in a week, and am still unable to grow a beard, much less a stache or burns. I grow dirty neck patch. Maybe I will hit puberty one day.
Posted: May 26, 2007 5:57 pm
consider youself lucky. im kin to the chupacabra!
Posted: May 29, 2007 6:33 pm
I spend a half hour easy everytime...shit is hard sometimes.
Posted: May 29, 2007 7:42 pm
I'm 28, and cannot grow 'stache, 'burns, or any beard beyond a scraggly mange. I do have chest hair, though.
It used to drive me crazy when I was fifteen and wanted sideburns, but now I consider myself lucky that I only have to shave two or three times a week.

Goddamn, teenagers are dumb.
Posted: May 29, 2007 8:09 pm
my sideburns are pretty much always a 1/4 inch off - i'm just gonna have to deal with that. i'm pretty much bald and I need the burns to compensate. I feel weird without 'em.
Posted: May 29, 2007 8:11 pm
I like my colonial times civil war look.
Posted: May 29, 2007 9:41 pm
If I don't shave every day or two (at most) I start looking like a dirty bum. If I try and grow facial hair though, I look even worse. It just grows in patches.
Posted: May 29, 2007 9:50 pm
Sheeeit. Not only does my face only grow hair in patches, the hair it grows is red--unlike all my other hair. I'd only shave once a week except I gotta worry about looking like a damned witch and getting drowned or some shit.
Posted: May 29, 2007 11:26 pm
i got sick of shaving. now i do it when i get to many complaints from the customer service dept (maggot). but its only with a set of clippers on the #3 guard, that seems to placate her for a few weeks.
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