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Goner Message Board / ???? / holy fuck am i ever hungry for some spaghetti
Posted: May 10, 2007 3:44 am
 
RAPE APE
RAPE APE
Posted: May 10, 2007 5:58 am
 
get drunk, cook spaghetti.
Posted: May 10, 2007 7:10 am | Edited by: the rape ape
 
Posted: May 10, 2007 10:18 am
 
america's test kitchen last week on tv did a great version of a red sauce
(maranara)
Posted: May 10, 2007 8:13 pm
 
rape ape prefers MAN-anara sauce
Posted: May 11, 2007 12:36 am
 
conception to actualization, its a beautiful thing really. 3 1/2 hours to cook spaghetti? delayed gratification is the way to go.

stuff never tasted so good...
Posted: May 11, 2007 12:58 am
 
I've totally been in to spaghetti lately, but I hated it for years cause it was my all I can afford food as well as my late night after drinking to avoid hangover the next day since I had to go to work at 8 AM food. Newman's Own is good sauce, and I think the word "sauce" is a very ugly word for some reason.
Posted: May 11, 2007 1:01 am
 
there were times i was too poor for sauce so i would cook noodles, squirt in some ketchup and chop in a generic hot dog. yum.
Posted: May 11, 2007 3:00 am
 
For red sauce in a jar, I like the Bertoli's marinara.

I've been all about some sundried tomato pesto from Kroger's private label, too ...
Posted: May 11, 2007 3:06 am
 
I think the word "sauce" is a very ugly word for some reason

if you spend much time in EYE-talian new joisey, you'll find the folks call it "gravy" - the red stuff you put on your spaghetti.
Posted: May 11, 2007 8:00 am
 
k, i'll call it red gravy from now on. sadest poor spaghetti is pasta, margarine, and dried basil flakes.
Posted: May 11, 2007 12:31 pm
 
that's rough Alicja,
here 's a recepeee for winning the highest price for lowest costs on spagetti spunk ever:
3 spoons of olive oil, heat it, throw in:
1 union, cut in big pieces
1 garlicnubbin, cut roughly with a knife (no smashing or pressing)
some salt & pepper and one spoon of sweet paprika powder
3 spoons of tomato puree
1 and a half spoon of flower
mix it
use hot but not cooking water to bind the sauce off the stove.
Then add 3 thee spoons of dried basil, two of dried rosemary, one of thyme and a few bay leafs. Leave on stove for 2 til 4 hours, not cooking, just a litle fart in the sauce every now and then.
Then strain that spunk.
Let it cool down a minute and add some ansjovispaste, a theespoon or two, or let a tiny fishy melt in the sauce, but KEEP that pan of the stove as soon as you're adding ansjovis!

Result. Haut cuisine made on the base of three spoons of tomatopuree.
Posted: May 11, 2007 12:35 pm
 
if you spend much time in EYE-talian new joisey, you'll find the folks call it "gravy" - the red stuff you put on your spaghetti


Only in the Sopranos then cause in Joisy we talk meatballs, lady.
Posted: May 11, 2007 3:57 pm
 

if you spend much time in EYE-talian new joisey, you'll find the folks call it "gravy" - the red stuff you put on your spaghetti.


Yep. And any kind of pasta at all is "macaroni."
Posted: May 11, 2007 5:14 pm
 
them wops also call sandwiches "submarines"

whatta buncha crazy bastiches
Posted: May 11, 2007 7:17 pm
 
them wops also call sandwiches "submarines"

Ha! No we don't; we call it 'something to eat or having a bite', just like normal Joisy's. Also HBO crap. Ever seen a Joisy Dago take a sandwich serious in real life?
And 'pass the gravy' is not about the sauce, but about The Gravy. Sause is balls with some goo stuck to it.
Macaroni? Heh. Paaaas-ta, these modern days. Wiseguys got sofisticated, even in New Joisy. They learn this from the feds who the they work with.
Two seasons of Soprano-bs I could handle, but then I turned back to Smalville. Much better show.
Posted: May 11, 2007 9:39 pm
 
i like to make my own marinara sauce. it's pretty killer. and i use anchovy paste too. makes it better! and a lil red wine too.
Posted: May 11, 2007 9:52 pm
 
And 'pass the gravy' is not about the sauce, but about The Gravy. Sause is balls with some goo stuck to it. Macaroni? Heh. Paaaas-ta, these modern days. Wiseguys got sofisticated, even in New Joisy.


I live in Jersey City. Just had a conversation two days ago with the old guy who lives next door about the doctor won't let him eat his favorite gravy or macaroni anymore. And my ex's grandma (who was Sicilian and tough as they come, RIP) called it gravy, too. So, I guess it's just the old folks.
Posted: May 12, 2007 4:01 am
 
that's rough Alicja,
here 's a recepeee for winning the highest price for lowest costs on spagetti spunk ever:
3 spoons of olive oil, heat it, throw in:
1 union, cut in big pieces
1 garlicnubbin, cut roughly with a knife (no smashing or pressing)
some salt & pepper and one spoon of sweet paprika powder
3 spoons of tomato puree
1 and a half spoon of flower
mix it
use hot but not cooking water to bind the sauce off the stove.
Then add 3 thee spoons of dried basil, two of dried rosemary, one of thyme and a few bay leafs. Leave on stove for 2 til 4 hours, not cooking, just a litle fart in the sauce every now and then.
Then strain that spunk.
Let it cool down a minute and add some ansjovispaste, a theespoon or two, or let a tiny fishy melt in the sauce, but KEEP that pan of the stove as soon as you're adding ansjovis!

Result. Haut cuisine made on the base of three spoons of tomatopuree.


I never could afford olive oil when I was making this desperate dish I mentioned above, nor had flour or rosemary, but I like the part about the tiny fish. there are lotsa frogs in Memphis. In New Orleans ther were lotsa palmetto bugs.
Posted: May 12, 2007 7:58 am
 
Jeez, that was some rotten kitchen you had back then. Is olive oil that expensive in Memphis? Shit. Ah well. That's the old war for ya.
Using some swampwater near a Shoot A Duck Farm in Louisiana will do too.

(Tip in gereral: when not too poor always buy things like oil and flower and dried herbs, so when really poor you can keep on cooking something with taste.)

A frog would work, if you don't mind having a giant trip while losing most of your skin at the same time.
Hey, there's something I call GRAVY, wait a minute now...
eeer.. later.
Posted: May 12, 2007 8:02 am
 
sadest poor spaghetti is pasta, margarine, and dried basil flakes.

oh god, that is indeed sad. my poor college days food was top ramen noodles, which i fried and seasoned w/ the packet. i couldn't take it as a "soup".... besides, oil makes you feel like you've eaten something kinda substantial
Posted: May 12, 2007 10:26 am
 
leftovers tonight
Posted: May 12, 2007 10:45 am
 
your ancestors are niggers
you got black blood in you
Posted: May 12, 2007 10:46 am
 
Clifford: You're Sicilian, ha? Ya know, I read a lot. Especially about things... about history. I find that shit fascinating. Here's a fact I don't know whether you know or not. Sicilians were spawned by niggers.
Coccotti [twitching, very slowly taking in what Clifford has just said]: Come again?
Clifford Worley: It's a fact. See, Sicilians have black blood pumpin' through their hearts. If you don't believe me you can look it up. Hundreds of years ago, you see, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are niggers.
Coccotti: Yes...
Clifford: Way back then, Sicilians were like wops from northern Italy. They all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but then the Moors moved in there, and they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin' with Sicilian women that they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. It's amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that Sicilians still carry that nigger gene. It's written, it's a fact, it's written.
Coccotti: [laughing, and signalling to his henchmen to laugh along] I love this guy.
Clifford: Your ancestors are niggers. Yeah, and your great-great-great-great grandmother fucked a nigger, yeah, and she had a half nigger kid...Now, if that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? Cause you, you're part eggplant.
Coccotti [still laughing]: You're a cantaloupe.
Posted: May 12, 2007 10:47 am
 
am I lying?
Posted: May 12, 2007 11:16 am
 
It's one of the best moviescenes ever, and this is just the way to ruin it, Rapeman.
Posted: May 12, 2007 9:26 pm
 
rape your ass, bitch.
Posted: May 12, 2007 11:55 pm
 
When you think about it (mom is Sicilian/Calabrian), I'm basically as black as Barack Obama, and blacker than Harold Ford Jr.
Posted: May 14, 2007 2:06 am
 
that spaghetti lasted for days. wont be hungry for that shit again for awhile.
Posted: May 14, 2007 2:52 am
 
did it get to the point with crispy ends?
Posted: May 14, 2007 3:04 am
 
no i cook the noodles fresh, just made lots of sauce.
Posted: May 14, 2007 6:45 am
 
holy fuck am i ever hungry for some beer.
Posted: May 14, 2007 7:06 am
 
beer is ever never not good
Posted: May 15, 2007 5:25 am
 
I made some tonight, it was really good, I had tons of ingredients! fresh rosmary, meat and all. I'm doing the wheat pasta thing though, which may go better with dairy-based sauces.

should one eat bread with pasta? doesn't make sense to me.
Posted: May 15, 2007 5:36 am
 
oh, a pasta segregationist? why cant pasta potatoes rice and bread live happily together you starch nazi?
Posted: May 15, 2007 8:57 am
 
anybody ever fall asleep while cooking pasta to wake up (drunkenly) to a house full of smoke and a black oversized hockey puck in your new ruined pot

I once did a frozen pot pie in one of them industrial microwaves (that would not turn off by itself) the same way....the microwave imploded and I got sent into another dimension
Posted: May 15, 2007 10:18 am
 
if you spend much time in EYE-talian new joisey, you'll find the folks call it "gravy"


In Spanish, "salsa" is sauce, but it's also what they call the stuff that's put on spaghetti, mashed potatoes, etc...
Posted: May 15, 2007 6:45 pm
 
In Spanish, "salsa" is sauce, but it's also what they call the stuff that's put on spaghetti, mashed potatoes, etc...


And basic red taco sauce stuff that we call salsa, they call 'ketchup'
Posted: May 15, 2007 6:54 pm
 
i thought they called that catsup
Posted: May 16, 2007 8:39 pm | Edited by: Blind Lemon Jelly
 
You're all spaghetti rapists. (New Joisy Conclusin.)

But just got reminded of a question that came up this week: how can one kill himself by stickin his head in a microwave? Just read a novel in which a depressed daddy pulls it off, but the whole 1200 pages: only freakin hints.
Anybody?
Seriously, knowing the novelist there must be a way.
Posted: May 16, 2007 11:35 pm
 
the microwave is filled with piranhas
Posted: May 17, 2007 8:20 am
 
It doesn't say of the door is closed, but it can't be can it?
Still, the guy blows his head up in that thing.
Wanna know.
Gonna reread the fucker tonight then, looking for more clues.
Shit.
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