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Goner Message Board / ???? / Sheryl Crow has gone too far
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 4:02 pm | Edited by: Rumpleforeskin
 
If you ever meet her fer god's sake don't shake hands-Quote from her Green bus tour: Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 4:08 pm
 
her asshole is obviously not as hairy as mine. i'm luck my if i use les than a half a roll. of course boys are lucky we dont have to wipe after we piss.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 4:29 pm
 
This is like some weird inversion of the Seinfeld "spare a square" episode.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 4:58 pm
 
hahahah. "i cannot spare a square, i have no square to spare."
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 5:03 pm
 
her asshole is obviously not as hairy as mine. i'm luck my if i use les than a half a roll. of course boys are lucky we dont have to wipe after we piss.

Agreed on all.

Who the hell is going to be the regulator of this? Make sure these law- abiding citizens only use one square!?! Fuck that. Plus, is that the best enviromental plan she can come up with? Come on! How about stop making records and touring!
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 5:19 pm
 
her asshole is obviously not as hairy as mine.

no kidding
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 5:32 pm | Edited by: deadcityrebel
 
all you dudes need some diet change. a diet high in fiber will keep you clean. no kidding. when i eat good i dump clean. all you need is the safety swipe. hairy ass or not.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 5:33 pm
 
i love a nice clean break. sure would be nice not to have "fun buns" for a change. I'm sure 16 would appreciate the lack of skidmarks on laundry day too.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 5:36 pm
 
hahahah. "i cannot spare a square, i have no square to spare."

The weird thing about this is she's doing this tour thing with Larry David's wife. I guess that why I originally thought the TP statement was some kind of joke.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 5:37 pm
 
all you need is the safety swipe.
Haha, Men Without Fiber! Do the Safety Wipe.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 7:00 pm
 
ivory tower positing and postulating at it's worst. The last thing we need is another regulation. However, if we were to need a new regualtion or law I propose that back up singers for Michael Jackson be drawn and quartered after each tour. (hence alleviating the threat that they become pretentious pop stars in their own right at any time thereafter.) I further offer that the regulation be employed retroactively, as well.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 7:06 pm
 
I just heard about some clothing line she has where one of the shirts is made so you can wipe your face on the sleeve, rip the sleeve off, and put it in your purse to wash later

these ideas should be melded
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 7:47 pm
 
I thought this was going to be about that Revlon haircoloring commerical where she sings "Not Fade Away." cause i'd agree with the thread title.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 7:51 pm
 
I just heard about some clothing line she has where one of the shirts is made so you can wipe your face on the sleeve, rip the sleeve off, and put it in your purse to wash later

why cant she just wipe her face on her sleeve and then wash the whole shirt later. why the need to tear off the sleeve?

that's just hairbrained. i hate her anyway.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 7:51 pm
 
and who i hate even more than sheryl crowe are the people that like her.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 8:17 pm
 
I thought this was going to be about that Revlon haircoloring commerical where she sings "Not Fade Away." cause i'd agree with the thread title.

I was trying to remember what product she was hawking. . .
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 8:31 pm
 
But I had mud butt! Mud butt!!
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 8:39 pm
 
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/scrow/scrow1.html

"Additionally, when the global warming warrior hits the road, her touring entourage (and equipment) travels in three tractor trailers, four buses, and six cars."
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 9:44 pm
 
The weird thing about this is she's doing this tour thing with Larry David's wife. I guess that why I originally thought the TP statement was some kind of joke.

why would larry david's wife want to hang out with this horrible haint? sheryl crow is lame. is she not making enough money these days to afford extra rolls of toilet paper? maybe she needs to move back to kennett, missouri and start using old newspapers to wipe her ass instead. recycle!!!
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 9:55 pm
 
sheryl crow is lame. is she not making enough money these days to afford extra rolls of toilet paper? maybe she needs to move back to kennett, missouri and start using old newspapers to wipe her ass instead. recycle!!!

I am in awe.
Posted: Apr 23, 2007 10:17 pm
 
I just want to soak up the sun.
Posted: Apr 24, 2007 12:35 am
 
i think she is lame also. regulate toilet paper? jeez lady.

during my vh1 days, one interview w/ sheryl crow for a special on her.... she required 6 hours of hair & make-up! no kidding, it was a contractual requirement in order for her to say yes (and we had to pay for it).

i wonder if she still takes that long? maybe someone should regulate something about her habits!
Posted: Apr 24, 2007 12:45 am
 
trailer park boys has a crow named sheryl who has a nest made of buds
Posted: Apr 24, 2007 12:59 am
 
I never really like her or hated her, maybe because she stayed off my radar. But last year I heard some song of hers with a chorus along the lines of "and every time you hear the rolling thunder, you turn around before the lightning strikes." It stuck in my mind because I don't think she was trying to get all metaphysical about causality and shit, I think that bitch just doesn't understand the relationship between the speed of sound and the speed of light. Unacceptable, Sheryl.
Posted: Apr 24, 2007 1:24 am | Edited by: jerryd
 
Sheryl Crow is a twat. Pure and simple.
A big twat.

. she required 6 hours of hair & make-up! no kidding, it was a contractual requirement in order for her to say yes (and we had to pay for it).

i wonder if she still takes that long?


I have it on good authority this is what she looks like before all the make-up:
http://www.allanbarnard.com/dir_pics_humor/dir_pictures/PIC_really_ugl y_face.jpg
Posted: Apr 24, 2007 1:27 am
 
she's the most derivative (ie: unoriginal and employs direct lifts of familiar songs ) perfomer ever. the only thing more shallow than her songwriting is her personality. during my vh1 days, i was forced to see her perform on several occasions. yawn
Posted: Apr 24, 2007 8:05 am
 
Posted: Apr 24, 2007 8:59 am
 
Wait a minute. Larry David's wife is named Laurie?! Now that's funny.
Posted: Apr 24, 2007 9:12 pm
 
unoriginal and employs direct lifts of familiar songs

She's constantly ripping off Rickie Lee Jones for one. She's so middle of the road which is why she's such a huge success. She's very non-threatening to the sheep... I mean masses.
Posted: Apr 24, 2007 9:18 pm
 
Hee hee... I just did something that made up for Crow's last 75 shits. I feel better. Wheewww!
Posted: Apr 24, 2007 9:27 pm
 
Hee hee... I just did something that made up for Crow's last 75 shits. I feel better. Wheewww!

Give this man some metamucil, STAT!
Posted: Apr 25, 2007 5:25 pm
 
Karl Rove ROCKS!
Somebody needs to throw rolls of toilet paper at her on this tour.
Posted: Apr 25, 2007 5:53 pm
 
nevermind the fact that the trees used to wipe your ass with are specifically grown to be cut down and used for paper... shit, renewable resource anyone?
Posted: Apr 26, 2007 1:10 am
 
I wonder how dirty her guitar strings are.
Posted: Apr 26, 2007 1:12 am
 
I use the copious Burger King napkins I receive w/ my Whopper combos when I'm in a pinch for t.p. If I go on an extended binder, I use my old copies of MRR...
Posted: Apr 26, 2007 1:18 am
 
I use my old copies of MRR...

Thats gotta leave black streaks all over yer ass.
Posted: Apr 26, 2007 1:23 am
 
Plus it clogs the toilet...
Posted: Apr 27, 2007 7:31 pm
 
I tried out the one square toilet paper theory today.
Do any of you wanna smell my fingers?
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