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Goner Message Board / ???? / JURY DUTY
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:27 pm
anyone got any ideas on how i could get outta this???

i already sent the little card back they send you (when i signed my name i used anarchy signs for a's) that didn't work...i got the notice in the mail saying i gotta be there on the 12th of march. i wanna be in nyc then dammit! and whatever i do i gotta do it before i'm supposed to be there.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:30 pm
Never send then card back. Infact, if you NEVER open the envelope, you can say it never came in the mail. Thats the trick!
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:30 pm
become an outlaw like your boyfriend.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:36 pm
Never send then card back.

now ya tell me!
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:43 pm
i got out of it once by calling and saying i had to be out of town, already had a flight, etc.
they just rescheduled another one for me at a later date.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:46 pm
that's sounds like the most logical thing to do. did you have to prove you were out of town somehow?
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:50 pm
Tell them you're part of some racist group.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:55 pm
she is, it's called the goner board.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:56 pm
funny how you assume the person on trial is of some race other than white.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:58 pm
Why don't you move to Russia with the rest of the communists?
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 7:00 pm
that's sounds like the most logical thing to do. did you have to prove you were out of town somehow?

nope, i didn't have to prove anything.
i just called the number on the jury duty notice.
i was actually surprised i was able to do it so easily.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 7:07 pm
Tell them you have recently relocated to NYC. I can send you a letter to an address there with your name on it for proof if you want.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 7:08 pm
thanks man! that's what i'll do and if they refuse to let me out of it then i'll start with the crazy act.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 7:12 pm
act my ass!
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 7:12 pm
start with the crazy act.

You mean it's all an act???!!!

Posted: Mar 1, 2007 7:19 pm
oh no you di'nt!
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 7:30 pm
Don't know if you're a student, but I got out of it by sending them my school schedule.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 7:32 pm
Why don't you move to Russia with the rest of the communists?

They are facists now, get with the times!!!
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 7:37 pm
Don't know if you're a student

nah, i got kicked outta college in '94

sarah - the relocated to ny sounds good but they only just sent me the thing 2 weeks ago and i sent it back from here.

i'll figure something out... thanks guys!
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 7:38 pm
i just dealt with this because of sxsw
all you have to do is call the little number, tell em you'll be out of town and they'll schedule you for the next/later session.

easy peasy
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 8:12 pm
lemon squeezy
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 8:17 pm
If you do have to go, just wear a confederate flag t-shirt, wear your underwear over your pants, and write the word FUCK on your forehead. You'll be out in no time.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 9:42 pm

so i call the number and some queer answers... i tell him i just realized that i was going away the weekend before and i wouldn't be back until the following wednesday. the prick tells me i need some sort of paper trail otherwise i can't get out of it! and i have to fax this "paper trail" before next wednesday. then i told him well i'm going anyway and he said well the sherrif will come knocking at your door then i said fuck the cops and then he hung up on me! whatta douchebag!
if i have to go there on the 12th they'll regret the day they asked me to be a motherfuckin juror cause i'll do whatever it takes (without getting arrested of course) to get out of it!
i'm so fucking pissed off
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 9:49 pm
that'll learn 'em!
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 9:51 pm
Don't worry ....we'll getcha a paper trail....
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 9:57 pm
tell them you need to take care of your retarded cripple boyfriend.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 10:05 pm
who could that be? oh yeah, dtrain fits that description!
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 10:06 pm
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 10:14 pm
tears of a clown
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 10:17 pm
In California, if you do not register to vote, you will never get called for jury duty. That way, you can easily shirk two of your civic duties! Yeah!
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 10:17 pm
C'mon Gadzooks, you can come up wit somethin better than that man.....shits tired yo.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 10:32 pm
you can "continue" - that is - put off serving jury duty a few times just by calling in - the gov't blows in many ways, but they do understand that their scheduling is arbitrary and you got other things going on.

but you can't ever get out of it anymore ---- even lawyers and judges have to at least report in. you may never get chosen, but you do need to take a day to go sit around and be bored, waiting for your chance to tell the lawyers that you are pre-disposed to believe if someone has been arrested, they absolutely MUST BE guilty --- OR - that you believe that every criminal has been set up by the cops.... you'll get rejected right off the top!
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 10:34 pm
goner rhea - how long have you lived there? I got out of jury duty because I didn't meet residency requirements for the county.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 10:36 pm
Thats true. I had to go to Jury duty last yeear and I sat around for a whole day and then they gave me somethin that said "don't come back in 6 years". I actually wanted to do it. It was a federal case!
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 10:44 pm
Yeah, I was on a murder trial a couple years ago. That ruled! Innocent bystander got shot in the head at a bar in Brooklyn. Saw some sick pictures.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 11:01 pm
A former co-worker of mine was on a Grand Jury (whatever that is.) He was basically "on-call" for a year. He probably served a total of 90 days over that year. I'm not even sure if it was the same case or not. He refused to talk about any of it. All he said was that it was really boring and the judge had them take breaks like every hour because the jurors kept falling asleep.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 11:05 pm
Grand Jury (whatever that is.)

it determines if there is enough evidence for a trial. a grand jury issues indictments. its not a trial jury.
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 11:26 pm
it determines if there is enough evidence for a trial. a grand jury issues indictments. its not a trial jury.
Why would anyone have to serve for a year if they don't do trials? Do the courts keep a pool of jurors available for several cases or something?
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 11:44 pm
Do the courts keep a pool of jurors available for several cases or something?

the DA's office has to be able to impanel a grand jury on fast notice - which is why you're on stand-by for a year. you don't go in every day - or even every week. but you remain on call in the event a grand jury needs to convene to hear evidence so that indictments can be made

you get to evaluate the evidence, and hear all kinds of interesting things and watch the prosecution prove that there IS a case. that is, if you're into that kind of thing.
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 12:01 am
windy - unfortunately i've lived in this county for a long time. so that wouldn't work.

this blows.

i was already a juror 11 or 12 years ago. the first day i just sat in a room with a bunch of other assholes, the second day i was picked to be an alternate - i sat with the jury but couldn't deliberate at the end that lasted 2 days and i got in trouble for falling asleep, on the 4th day i was picked to be an actual juror. i thought the woman on trial kinda looked like iggy pop so i had a soft spot for her and when deliberations started i pissed everyone off by saying i thought she was innocent, after so long i caved and just agreed with 'em cause i wanted to leave.
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 4:27 am
two good points already made on how to avoid this dilemma.

1. don't ever register to vote. duh.

2. borrow my "original boys in the hood" t-shirt that is known as the "jury duty" shirt.

then you are free to vacation away and pass judgment on a twelvepack.

and bj, any racist bias shown in any direction is good enough to render you not impartial. professor griff costume would probably work also.

you dont see Kramer or Mel Gibson serving no punk ass jury duty, do ya???
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 4:34 am
i was a juror about 5 years ago. some guy from north carolina drove up to nyc to pick up a few pounds of weed. he got busted because he was speeding on the new jersey turnpike with NO PLATES on the car. when the cops pulled him over he had the weed right on the back seat of the car "hidden" in a garbage bag (in the middle of the summer so the car must have stunk like crazy). some people can be awfully dumb.
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 4:55 am
I did acid once when on jury duty. I got called and the prosecutors didn't like my diatribe against the man so i got sent home.

three weeks later I got twelve bucks in the mail.

i had to water the lawn later.
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 4:56 am
borrow my "original boys in the hood" t-shirt

I feel dirty for knowing the exact shirt of which you speak.
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 11:42 am
I have voted in every damn election since before 1971.
and the same precinct too.

I think they combine the voter reg and the car ownership thing to make a selection pool.

Since I have never owned a car
and never been called for jury duty.
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 7:01 pm
Just a couple of weeks ago I was sent to jury selection for a case involving an "alleged" gang member who had tattoos on face and covering entire scalp who sat laughing and mocking a good deal of the time. Prospectives were asked whether they were going to be biased based on his appearance and behavior. Needless to say, people were flying out of that room as if it were on fire.
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 9:05 pm
i recently weaseled out of grand jury duty. it would have been every mon & wed for 4 frickin' months.
Posted: Mar 3, 2007 1:11 pm
I wuz gon' walk up to the uppity, lippy bitch what run the show; but some other down-n-out loser arrived first and had some teary rub-eye story about his moth-eaten trouser pockets and lost wages: she'd heard EVRAthing by that point and tolt him to go stick it up his ass. I didn't have a leg to stand on, so I cleared off.

Bring a book. Make a friend, play some bumper pool. Laff at the wack-ass fools who put on a necktie and brought a briefcase. Check the chairs for lost change and doobies.
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