Sheeeeet. I woke up and my face was plastered to a pillow, not nicely. As I gingerly lifted to avoid tearing, I heard someone say "oops," and I watched an expensive bottle of goop belch itself onto a tile floor. As I finally developed the rancor to arise, I was informed of a 3D accident in someone's pants. I then went to the mailbox and discovered the mortgage was three months overdue.

And yet...my pants are too tight, my feet hurt, and I'm taking tap dance lessons. My dream is to choreograph tap to the Compulisive Gamblers, Oblivians, and some other favorites I have. Long live the dream world!!! (I have the tap shoes to prove it, and it's not just so I can kill the bldg. maintenace man when he catches on to me - maybe you haven't seen the Bad Seed?)

That's funny. I just had to drop out of tap because of my run in with the ghost left my foot too mangled. Be prepared for EVERYONE to say "What are you trying to do, regress to when you were 8?" etc.

I'm sorry, did I just walk into church? A Todd Solondz premiere? Jeez people, PERK THE FUCK UP!!!! WANT TO FEEL LIKE SHIT? LOG ONTO THE GONER BBS!!!!

YAAAAAAH BOYYEE! You go, Chuck! Tell 'em! They blind baby! Tell 'em!!!!

I'll forever have you & the Flave confused, Earles. So now you gon' be Chuck.

What? Just cause I'm a tap dance dropout, I'm depressing all of a sudden?

Norah, I wasn't pointing at you.

Oh, I'm so paranoid.

My tap shoes are white Mary Janes with ribbons.

Anybody for a dip?

clothing optional?

Get Fucked

Uh...sir, sir...

Damn I wish I would have used "ScottTub" as my goner moniker, that rules. That man will get in the hot tub.

ScottTub

buTttocs.

booooooooorrrrrrrrred.

I wasn't being serious. Actually, I was trying to have a little fun. I am taking tap dance lessons and it's a blast. When I was eight I was sitting in a Pecan tree in SA, TX, reading a book.

Hi-Larity!

Right On lady I'm down with Vaudeville! For my friend Funsize's last birthday she had a talent show at The carousel lounge ( a 40 year bar that has a circus theme, painted clowns, carouse, 3-D animals, and everythin') And all of our friends did various acts. Another cool thing about this bar is in Texas if you don't sell booze just beer you can bring your ownbottle in and they sell "set ups" this is one of those places. Anyway I clogged (which is the country cousin of tap) to a routine from when I was in 4th grade and a Sheridan Road Shuffler. It was too Another One Bites The Dust. For my tap shoes I nailed LoneStar bottle caps to mary janes look out Jesco here comes The Rattlesnake!

I lived in San Antonio when I was like 4, this must have been like 1982, as I remember there wasn't anything to do but read books! Or get your Mom to read them to you.

scottub, i'm up for a dip but can we stop at sonic and try the new extreme tots? no need to bring along your own ranch dressing anymore!!!

I live very near the Carousel. That party sounds like fun. I love the lady who runs that place.

The tap dance lessons are just down the street in Windsor Village, Friday nights, 9-10.

I was eight in 1970. I started going to punk shows about the time you were born. It seems like yesterday, I guess I should get over it and stop now? nah...

No. In fact, I refuse to stop. I just witnessed a crowd of trendy posers rocking out to college rock gone jam band at the Carousel. I will not stop until I can stage my tap dancing to the punk classics routine there. Just to shock them into reality. This will happen before the cows go home.

Or I'm not Peggy Hill!

i don't care what anyone says, but you and i are soul sisters helen. i love tapdancing, and do so often. when i was in dance class as a child , i would gaze longingly at the racks of tap shoes, whilst the nazi-esque teacher forced us all to do tumbling instead. (she was training the new crop of cheerleaders). I was slightly too round for tumbling. but every tuesday and thursday, i would sit on the bench in the dressing room, staring at rows and rows of tap shoes, saying... "one day, one day. you'll be mine!!!"

but it is also a good way to freak someone out when you are in a fight. when the tension is thick, just throw in a little side shuffle step, a little windmill action, side shuffle step change, and they get confused, bewildered by your insanity.

Helen Wheels - "I will not stop until I can stage my tap dancing to the punk classics routine there."

HAHAHAHAAH!!! That would kick sooooo much ass! If only you could dig up the greats for that one. Gregory Hines, Sammy Davis Jr., and hell, even Bojangles! How much ass would that kick? Oh, so much.