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Goner Message Board / ???? / Ever been bit by a dog?
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 5:07 am
Not fun.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 5:10 am
Bit by a hamster when I was 5.. I almost died.. not a joke ..
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 5:22 am
Too many to count.
And an octopus.
And a brolga , too.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 5:30 am
I bit a dog once
when I was about 2 and pissed at my friend who was older and bigger than me

so his dog had to suffice
unfortunately it was an english sheepdog so all I got was a mouthful of fur

but let that be a lesson to any of you that wanna fuck with me
and don't call me Francis
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 6:03 am
I got mauled by some chick's family dog one morning after a night of drinking. I love how stupid people are about their psychotic dogs. I was told "don't worry about him, he's very playfull!" as I walked towards their front door. Second the thing sees me he gets "playfull" by tearing my arm open.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 6:10 am
nothing too bad for me but when i was in the army a dude in my platoon went to ft. bragg for the 2 week special forces evaluation and while on an solo land navigation got mauled by a pack of dogs. he made it to an aid station and was given rabies shots. one shot in each elbow and each knee (as opposed to 12 shots in the stomach). ow.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 6:27 am
you know snow right?
being an oversized grade schooler
growing up on a steep hill
all my so called friends bonded
when winter came and snow made the
hill fit for awesome sled riding.

sitting midway down the slope
like some fortress, it was the home
of an old school eastern euro pack with
two brothers, not unlike our current
spits. These numbnuts had a dog
chained out back, named Bullet,
a cross between a mutt and a kraut sheppard
that did not like beingrestricted to his back yard.
The number of times the hood bitches in heat
tempted our young stud outnumbered the
stones tossed his way by us during the summer.

as the flakes fell, pushing 18 inches, we worked
up an appetite huffing up to the top..boots and mittens.

I caught sight of the brothers and their dog as i flew down the hill
"Here comes Bullet!" the two called out.
that fuckin' animal could smell my fear,
all his instinct, all the built up pay back,
this time and place, I was his target.

I scrambled to make it off the sled and ran up my back stairs,
trying to reach a snow shovel for defense but as
Bullet's teeth ripped through my brown
cords and left a six point puncture wound in my ass.

I was freaked, the god damn beast's head twisted
trying to bring me down for the kill.

I just got a tetanus shot, but a week later the sheriff
put a bullet in Bullet

The brothers hated me more after that. They spit in my hair,
teased me about being an orphan.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 6:36 am
went to my brothers friends house one time when i was like 10. total cartoon mailman shit, i was runnin like a motherfucker, doggie ripped a piece of shorts/undies and cut my ass open. wouldnt let go
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 7:08 am
I bit a dog once
when I was about 2 and pissed at my friend who was older and bigger than me

This is why I don't buy your "I got shot" story. Produce a picture, otherwise, I'll show you a bad acne scar and say I held up a bank.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 7:20 am
you don't buy that I got shot cause I also was a stupid kid and bit a dog once?
ok...i've never once claimed to understand hippy logic

if you need validation go ahead and axe somebody
I don't and shan't
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 7:21 am
Not a dog, but when I was little, my cat got into a fight with a cat twice his size....anyway, my mom tried to break it up, and ended up getting 20 stitches in her arm. My cat lost part of one ear, and the other cat lost an eye. My cat was awsome, he used to beat up dogs that wandered into our yard.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 7:45 am
I don't and shan't
You so lie.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 10:11 am
got bitten in the face by the neighbours dog when i was 9. almost lost an eye.
the doctor told me the girls would love the scar one day.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 2:03 pm
I got bit in the face by a dog when I was 6 for a total of 9 stitches. I got a scar on the left side of my upper lip. It was my great aunt's dog so I didn't get any money out of the deal. However, it happened a few days before x-mas, so everybody felt sorry for me. I got a shitload of gifts. I still have the etch-a-sketch...
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 2:52 pm
He really did get shot! Hes got the big ass scar on his elbow, plus about 20 witnesses and his parents to prove it.
He also, (being the pure genius that he is) lit his own face on fire. This man, is a genius!
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 2:59 pm
You ever been bit by a dead bee?

Two of my kids have been bitten seriously by dogs. Alex got half of his ear torn off when he was 4. Had to have six hours of surgery to repair it. It was scary as hell. He was in Nashville with his father when it happened, and I had to drive up there in the middle of the night while he was in surgery. Was in the hospital for three days. However, that bite secured his college education. The only time I have ever considered suing (dog was known to be vicious) and on the advice of a lawyer (after their home oweners offered $2500 on a $12,000 surgery) I did. The money has been in trust all these years, and he's starting U of M in the fall without us having to worry about how it's going to be paid.
Jack's wasn't as bad, but he has deep scars on one arm because of it.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 3:06 pm
I got bit by a dog when I was a wee brat. broke the skin, but it wasn't too bad.

the owners put the dog to sleep after that.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 3:06 pm
doggies love me.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 3:26 pm
He also, (being the pure genius that he is) lit his own face on fire.

well in my defense I wasn't trying to light my own face on fire....and people were filming and taking photos and didn't get any photo evidence of that either.

So I'm safe in Jack Stands mind
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 5:15 pm
I worked construction years back for a shyster of a boss who had (previous to hiring me,) completed a large project on a house belonging to a couple of lawyers and their huge chow. Walking up to the door, my boss informed me of said chow and the fact that it had once latched onto the hand of their stay at home day trader buddy--part of this little group of "high power" friends my boss was trying to network into--resulting in some considerable stitch-work. For some inconceivable perversion of fortune, the fucking chow would always get loose every time we came to the house and I made plans to dive into the pool with it and drown it if it ever came after me. I bet I would've been fucked.

Another time, I was hanging out with some aquaitances who had a chow. We got really high and were watching videos of bands when the dog started to take an unusual interest in me. It kept coming up on the couch and looking straight into my face. We all tried to play it off as friendliness for a while, but it eventually got too weird and I had to request that they get their fucking dog out of my face--good time over.

One of my best buddies got his first dog and despite my warnings, got a chow. Sure enough the dog cornered my wife coming out of their bathroom during a visit. We get along better now that it's dead.

Rednecks with pit bulls are great too.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 5:30 pm
got my upper lip bitten off when i was 3 years old (upper left lip was just dangling) -- oddly the scar only shows up sometimes or if i blow a bubble and it gets caught in there
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 5:32 pm
My dad used to get his hair cut by a lady that got the tip of her nose bitten off by a pooch. She had it sewn back on and it looked wierd.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 5:44 pm
It kept coming up on the couch and looking straight into my face. We all tried to play it off as friendliness for a while

NOT friendliness, classic dog aggression.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 6:25 pm | Edited by: Rumpleforeskin
I was nipped by one of those dogs in the Hellcats. Does that count?
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 6:27 pm
oh yeah, i was petting the dog while it was eating when it bit my lip off - but hey, i was 3
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 6:29 pm
I was bitten in the face by our dachshund ,Fritzi, when I was nine.It was my fault because I was messing with him real bad. It hurt something awful but I felt bad for him because they wanted to put him down. I begged them not to do it and they relented. He was a great dog other than that.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 6:30 pm
When I worked for Whole Foods I helped open several stores -- one was in Madison -- I was invited to stay with the Wine & Cheese buyers facny place while there -- they had FIVE dogs!

Walked in the screened porch, they were all excited jumping around, I stepped on one of their feet, it yelped and another one of the dogs bit me.

Hospital, police reports, bloody bandages for two days, blood all over the hotel, complete fucking boredom for the remaining four days until our Dallas crew were done and could return -- didn;t know anyone, couldn't call anyone. Sucked.

Oh and this C-word cheese buyer chick from Austin said to me -- "wished I could get bit by a dog and not have to work for five days sitting around doing nothing" --- C-word, indeed.
Posted: Feb 14, 2007 11:57 pm
When I was doing my paper route in high school a dog bit me in the back of the leg--nothing serious, just two puncture marks. My dad walked to the house and offered to shoot their dog for them on the spot--he's a compassionate motherfucker.

Posted: Feb 15, 2007 12:05 am
despite my warnings, got a chow.

Those are REALLY aggressive dogs. I once had a downstairs neighbor who had one. I HATED it. It would lunge to the end of its chain to try and bite me EVERY time I walked by. Scared the shit out of me on a daily basis.
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 3:23 am
oh the stories I could tell
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 3:44 am
Great fucking topic....
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 4:11 am
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u269/troubledf/P1010002.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u269/troubledf/DSCN0058.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u269/troubledf/DSCN0052.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u269/troubledf/DSCN0059.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

the guilty party:
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u269/troubledf/P1010014.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 4:20 am
Bit on the arm while working behind some homes a few years back by a mean-ass dog who stuck his maw between the bars of an iron fence. The dick owner wouldn't even come out to talk to me so I called animal control who quarantined the dog while I was off to the seedy clinic to get a tetanus shot.

A few weeks later I received a postcard that said something along the lines of "Good news. The animal in question does not have rabies."
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 4:34 am
Damn, Tommy. Why'd you bite your dog in the first place? No wonder he bit your ass.
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 5:55 am
This is all further proof that dogs suck. Getting bit by a dog on the arm or leg may not seem like a big deal, I guess. Probably comical to a dog lover. I dunno if you fellers wear jock straps made of steel, but imagine if any of the biting incidents you have brought up happened in the crotch region. And the teeth sank in pretty deep...or if they bit your child.

Seriously, hate dogs. Don't think people should have them in the suburbs. End of story.
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 5:55 am
umm, to clarify, don't think they should be urbanized, either. heh.
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 7:53 am
Seriously, hate dogs.

I do too. Dogs bark and wake you up in the middle of the night. They drag their asses on the carpeting. They drink from the toilet bowl. They dry hump your leg.They lick their genitalia and then go and lick you. They bite you in the face. Worst of all, I never got my pound of flesh either. I visited my grand aunt Mary eight years after I had my face bitten, and she still had the fucker. He was never exterminated.I regret not choking the motherfucker, but oh well. I got a bunch of x-mas gifts back in '79...
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 8:36 am
Did anyone else see those pictures all over the net of that pitbull that attacked a porcupine (sp?) awhile back? Horrific. Vicious fucker wouldn't stop even though you can't see its entire face, mouth, nothing - he had to have had at least 500 quills in his head. He just kept going after it, the more he was hurt, the madder he got and the more he attacked it. What that has to do with this thread I'm not sure but it was fucked up nonetheless.

No, I've never been bitten by a "dog" unless really ugly women count.
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 8:55 am
I got bitten in the ass for playing cowboys and indians with my friends. The skin got broken (through my pants) and I had to get a tetanus shot. I didn't know that you shouldn't tense up when getting a shot, so it hurt like a motherfucker. Eventually the dog, Towser (the most viscious dog in the neighborhood), went blind. I didn't cry. His owners and their children were assholes.
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 9:07 am | Edited by: DevilDog
Was it the O'Doyles? I have a feeling they're all going down, not just the dog.
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 10:14 am
80 lb golden lab got me when i was seven. 12 shots in my left arm to prevent any infection. That hurt worse than the bite. Still have 3 small scars on my arm. If it had been an inch lower my arm would've been paralyzed from the elbow down.
Posted: Feb 15, 2007 11:08 pm | Edited by: Rumpleforeskin
Pit bulls bit off a man's hand here in Memphis in the past few days.
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