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Goner Message Board / ???? / no duh - a short rant
uleeshuh
Posted: Oct 28, 2003 9:15 pm
 
So i saw an article on the AOL Instant Messenger opening window that said "US warns of plot against airlines" and since I'm going to be flying a couple times this winter I thought I'd check it out to see the partcular aim of this threat. Then it reads:
"The U.S. said on Tuesday it had credible information of a terror threat on aviation and Western targets in Saudi Arabia, urging Americans to defer travel to the Arab state." NO FUCKING DUH GUYS!
ledisquairebazookajoe
Posted: Oct 28, 2003 10:14 pm
 
When I was in grade school we said 'no doy' and 'no dorkey.'
Argh
Posted: Oct 28, 2003 10:26 pm
 
We said No Doy too. I still say "Ah-doi-oi oi" sometimes.
Jakey Stiff
Posted: Oct 28, 2003 11:06 pm
 
scratch off that purposed middle eastern jaunt for the last leg of the tour.
Talbot
Posted: Oct 28, 2003 11:59 pm
 
When I was like 8 or 9, I thought that "no shit sherlock" was about the funniest thing ever.
Alex C
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 12:17 am
 
Good thing I'm Canadian. I can still go on my vacation to the Saudi beach resorts, and I don't have to worry about loud, obnoxious Americans ruining the peace and tranquility.
Jakey Stiff
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 12:26 am
 
Go fluff a penguin Ice Boy.
Argh
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 1:10 am
 
8 or 9?!?!?! That's STILL one of my favorite phrases....along with "You think you're hot shit on a silver tray but you're really cold diarrhea on a paper plate"

And the one I was always scared to use was "Smooth move, ExLax" I always thought I was going to use it in the wrong context.

razor a go go
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 1:11 am
 
think hard, retard.
creepydrifter
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 5:20 am
 
i think they do that to remind the public that the rest of the world(especially the arabs) hate america. the realiy of that is the rest of the world hates our government and simply see us as a nation of sheep(i guess they are more 'disappointed' in us than anything). so the gov't/media put this guilt trip spin on reality to make it sound like WE and our phat lifestyle that is the envy of the rest of the world is what 'islam' hates about us, when in reality, our fucked up gov't has basically lit this huge fuse under our ass...if anyone needs me i'll be in my cabin typing up my treastise and making pipe bombs.
Arturo
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 5:31 am
 
i like "save some for the fish" when someone is using a water fountain.
ledisquairebazookajoe
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 8:34 am
 
Say it, don't spray it...I asked for the time, not the weather...whoever smelt it, dealt it...whoever denied it, supplied it.
moody prick
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 6:15 pm
 
"yes way"
Argh
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 9:15 pm
 
Don't forget "The smeller's the feller"

and when someone gets back from the bathroom "Did you fall in?"

vanwinkle
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 10:44 pm
 
sike!
Alex C
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 11:16 pm
 
I know you are, but what am i?

Or how about this one:
"Do you like apple juice?"
"Yes"
"Haha! You like to drink pee."

"Do you like chocolate ice cream"
"yes"
"Haha! You like to eat poo"

Doctor Sardonicus
Posted: Oct 29, 2003 11:49 pm
 
"I know you are, but what am I?"

"Say it don't spray it"

""hey's" for horses, aren't you glad you're a cow""


This is stupid.

Crazy Dave
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 12:00 am
 
Whoever made the rhyme, committed the crime.
Kubiak
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 12:02 am
 
Your momma's gotta wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
Randy California
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 12:09 am
 
Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo momma so fat were in her right now
Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world
Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo momma so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her
Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo momma so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo momma so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get again.
Yo momma so fat she influences the tides.
Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo momma so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass
Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on theother side just to get her through
Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo momma so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo momma so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo momma so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo momma so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.
Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo momma so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!
Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
Yo momma so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons
Yo momma so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her
Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!
Yo momma so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off!!!
Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!
Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development
Yo momma so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94"
Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans
Yo momma so fat she has more rolls than a mary jane truck

http://www.people.virginia.edu/~jwb7w/mom/

creepydrifter
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 1:16 am
 
"NOT!"
Alex C
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 3:49 am
 
"Sixty-NINE!"
crowbar
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 8:45 am
 
"Have you ever been caught jerkin' off in the hall closet?"

"No."

"Must be a good hiding spot. OHHHHH!!!!!"

Womb Raider
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 8:58 am
 
your mother, so fat
eating jelly rolls and lard
a large animal
andria
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 11:22 am
 
when peewee herman pointed to his nipples and his crotch and then his ass and said "milk, milk, lemonade, and round the corner, fudge is made" my drink came outta my nose... sometime in the late '80s/early '90s on his saturday AM tee-vee show
dropkick
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 12:47 pm
 
"Are you a poofter in a cage?"

"No."

"Poofter on the loose! Poofter on the loose!"

illiterategenius
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 2:37 pm
 
no guff
queenothetwist
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 6:04 pm
 
I don't shut up, I grow up
and when I look at you I throw up...
Womb Raider
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 6:15 pm
 
did anyone play the abbreviation game?

where you're like, "dude, are you B.W.?"

and if they say yes you're like "hahaha, you're a bed wetter!!"

and if they say no, you're like "hahaha, you're not a butt wiper, you don't wipe your butt you stinky shitass!!"

great game.

Arturo
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 7:19 pm
 
classic Pharcyde line
"your mammas an extra on the simpsons"
Arturo
Posted: Oct 30, 2003 7:20 pm
 
do your parents know you're gay?
SATAN
Posted: Oct 31, 2003 2:12 am
 
have you seen Dee?

Who's Dee?

Deez nuts!

----------------------------------------

Do you like tapes or CD's?

I guess CD's.

Well...CD's nuts.

Goubler
Posted: Oct 31, 2003 4:53 am
 
...hey creepydrifter, is it alright if i drop your ass on Mecca with a yarmuke crazyglued to your head?
Rev_Dan
Posted: Oct 31, 2003 6:15 am
 
Sittin' with 2 friends to your left.
You say to the one to the farthest left
"Hey Left nut!"
he responds with
"Hey Right nut!"
followed sayin' together
"Who's the penis in between us"
creepydrifter
Posted: Nov 1, 2003 2:03 am
 
AWESOME! free trip to saudi for me, thanks goub!
Goubler
Posted: Nov 2, 2003 12:28 am
 
anything to see your ass torn apart by the arabs you're trying to slum with.
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