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Goner Message Board / ???? / astronaut charged w/ kidnap attempt
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 9:07 am
wacky headline of the day!
I can't wait for the Lifetime movie

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-Astronaut-Arrested.html?hp&ex=11 70824400&en=b3c4904d70b9c0e3&ei=5094&partner=homepage

Astronaut Charged With Kidnap Attempt

Filed at 3:28 a.m. ET

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) -- An astronaut drove 900 miles and donned a disguise to confront a woman she believed was her rival for the affections of a space shuttle pilot, police said. She was arrested Monday and charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts.

U.S. Navy Capt. Lisa Nowak, 43, who flew last July on a shuttle mission to the international space station, was also charged with attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery. She was denied bail.

Police said Nowak drove from her home in Houston to the Orlando International Airport to confront Colleen Shipman.

Nowak believed Shipman was romantically involved with Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, a pilot during space shuttle Discovery's trip to the space station last December, police said.

Nowak told police that her relationship with Oefelein was ''more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship,'' according to an arrest affidavit. Police officers recovered a love letter to Oefelein in her car.

NASA spokesman James Hartsfield in Houston said that, as of Monday, Nowak's status with the astronaut corps remained unchanged.

''What will happen beyond that, I will not speculate,'' he said.

Hartsfield said he couldn't recall the last time an astronaut was arrested and said there were no rules against fraternizing among astronauts.

When she found out that Shipman was flying to Orlando from Houston, Nowak decided to confront her, according to the arrest affidavit. Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said.

Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry.

Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, Nowak boarded an airport bus that Shipman took to her car in an airport parking lot. Shipman told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors, according to the arrest affidavit.

Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman's car, the affidavit said.

Shipman drove to the parking lot booth, and the police were called.

During a check of the parking lot, an officer followed Nowak and watched her throw away a bag containing the wig and BB gun. They also found a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, $600 and garbage bags inside a bag Nowak was carrying when she was arrested, authorities said.

Inside Nowak's vehicle, which was parked at a nearby motel, authorities uncovered a pepper spray package, an unused BB-gun cartridge, latex gloves and e-mails between Shipman and Oefelein. They also found a letter ''that indicated how much Mrs. Nowak loved Mr. Oefelein,'' an opened package for a buck knife, Shipman's home address and hand written directions to the address, the arrest affidavit said.

Police said Nowak told them that she only wanted to scare Shipman into talking to her about her relationship with Oefelein and didn't want to harm her physically.

''If you were just going to talk to someone, I don't know that you would need a wig, a trench coat, an air cartridge BB gun and pepper spray,'' said Sgt. Barbara Jones, a spokeswoman for the Orlando Police Department. ''It's just really a very sad case. ... Now she ends up finding herself on the other side of the law with some very serious charges.''

If convicted of attempted kidnapping, Nowak could face a maximum of life in prison.

It was not immediately known whether Nowak had an attorney.

Oefelein and Shipman did not immediately return phone messages Monday night.

According to NASA's official biography, Nowak is married with three children. During her 13-day mission in July she operated the robotic arm during three spacewalks.

Oefelein is unmarried. He piloted the space shuttle Discovery in December. He has two children, according to a NASA biography.

Nowak and Oefelein were both first-time fliers during their shuttle missions last year. They trained together but never flew together.
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 9:43 am
U.S. Navy Capt. Lisa Nowak, 43, who flew last July on a shuttle mission to the international space station

I'm sure someone here can prove this was fake...
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 9:49 am
see ??
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 9:58 am
The moon doesn't exist. That's really just a Sovjet projection to confuse us westerners. Guess who was laughing 1969 the 16th of july??
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 10:34 am
right after he blew a load in your momma face.

That was 1970, and "sleeping" more like it.
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 2:04 pm
<i>Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said. </i>

Where can I get some of those astronaut diapers??? Road trip!!!
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 2:47 pm
this is the most hilarious thing I've read in weeks.

chicks are crazy.
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 5:49 pm

I'm sure someone here can prove this was fake...

it was in the NY times....i'm sure they vet these stories like crazy.

that diaper thing cracked me the fuck up.

and yeah - just imagine how crazy ASTRONAUT chicks are!
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 6:39 pm
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 6:50 pm
Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said

for some reason i keep thinking this says novak. and then i keep imagining april wearing a diaper and a wig. stop brain, stop!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 7:09 pm
this adds another layer of depth and meaning to the old adage; "Yo mama's an astronaut."
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 7:16 pm
for some reason i keep thinking this says novak. and then i keep imagining april wearing a diaper and a wig. stop brain, stop!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or Todd.
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 7:31 pm
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 7:38 pm
"Astronaut Diapers" = band name waiting to happen
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 8:07 pm
I thought for SURE my sister would know this chick, as they went to the same college, which was only like 10% women at the time, and my sister is also a pilot, which is an even smaller percentage. But cuckoo was out of school one year before my sister got there. However, one of my sisters good friends is VERY good friends with the looney. And she's gotten phone calls from everyone asking her if she knows her, and she's sick of it so don't call her.

I will get cable when this becomes a Lifetime movie.
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 8:20 pm
first figure skating now this. you bitches are crazy.
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 8:20 pm
oh yeah, NASA is not very goner.
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 10:49 pm
Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said
I know them early "Right Stuff"-era guys used to have to just piss in the suit, but I thought they had multi-million dollar space toilets in the shuttle these days? Is she just being old-school?
Posted: Feb 6, 2007 11:49 pm
You still can't leave your seat during launch and re-entry, or while driving 900 straight miles to mangle your rival.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 12:03 am
900 straight miles

900 miles on that big ass tractor that piggy backs the shuttle to the launch pad at 1/2 mile per hour would take forever, no wonder she wore a diaper
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 12:13 am
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 12:31 am
I got $10 that says during the trial it emerges out these two were at it in
zero-G, during the mission.
Oh yeah.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 12:36 am
astronauts wear diapers during lunch and rear-entry?

Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:14 am
This Halloween dress up your kid in trenchcoat, diaper, wig, accessories (duct tape, buck knife, etc).

"I'm an astronaut!"
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:20 am
um, when i read about the diaper, i almost pissed myself. for real. and no pun intended. i really, truly, almost pissed myself. that is THE most fucked up thing i've ever read in the new, and I read all the news. genocide, climate change, and Scooter Libby got nothing on this crazy, fucked up bitch.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:24 am
I don't see why y'all are so upset. Everybody spaces out, sometime.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:25 am
Or, maybe she didn't understand the gravity of the situation?
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:26 am
In fact, I bet this was completely innocent; kind of a "meteor neighbor" kind of thing...
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:27 am
It is surprising she left no comet with the media, though...
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:27 am
Maybe all that evidence was planeted?
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:28 am
It is rather star-tling, though...
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:29 am
With all this media attention, I bet she feels pretty hubble right about now.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:30 am
I shuttle to think of the consequences...
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:31 am
I bet she mooned that bitch, though.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:32 am
I think as more facts come to light we'll discover she's an enterprising woman.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:33 am
When the victim faced her challenger, well, she just broke apart.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:35 am
I heard the affair started in 2001.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:37 am
When the victim faced her challenger, well, she just broke apart.
The whole incident only took 74 seconds.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:37 am
I'm just thinking of that 900 mile trek;thank goodness for the diapers. No way could have I satelite load.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:38 am
You got problems with your anus, JS?
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:39 am
There's a ring around it.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:40 am | Edited by: T J Honeysuckle
Maybe it's just been sat on too long.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:40 am
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:41 am
Ouch. Try eating soft food, like Mars Bars.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:42 am
Perhaps the last wipe didn't take and it's only a Klingon?
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:45 am
No sure, that sort of thing is a bit outside my sphere.

Thought you'd eclipsed me for a second there...
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:45 am
Either way, aside from this heavenly body, she's gonna go to jail and get it in the black hole.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:48 am | Edited by: T J Honeysuckle
Yeah, and she's a first-timer, it's always easier on re-entry.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:51 am
Yeah, poor thing. She'll be an after-burner...
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 1:53 am
Maybe she'll learn to look on the sunny side. That can be a real boost.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 2:01 am
Just take it one small step at a time in there, lady, no giant leaps.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 3:00 am
There's a ring around it.

duh! that's just Uranus!
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 3:33 am
are you guys writers for the letterman show?
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 7:47 am | Edited by: pseudo pion
Yup, there's plenty of loco beeotches like this!!

Like the one broad that sabotaged her '"love rival's" parachute and let her fall to her death...


video link

oh, let's not forget about Lorena Bobbitt!
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 4:56 pm
Chicks going out of their way to crack block each other is barely newsworthy. I wonder if she brought some Tang with her on her mission.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 5:34 pm
If you're going to do this sort of thing, you need to planet better.
Posted: Feb 7, 2007 10:15 pm
If you're going to do this sort of thing, you need to planet better.

Posted: Mar 8, 2007 3:53 am
She been fired.
I do like the idea of getting sent dirty emails while flying a space shuttle, though.
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 4:27 pm
Just because the police report was thrown out on a technicality, doesn't necessarily mean that the diaper thing was a lie. Who do you believe?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/11/us/11astronaut.html?_r=1&partner=rss &emc=rss
Posted: Nov 11, 2009 2:02 pm
never mind all that.

has SOMEBODY had intercourse in zero gee's, or NOT?
we need to answer this question now, President Obama.
Posted: Nov 11, 2009 3:26 pm
I appreciate the diaper thing more and more...
Posted: Nov 11, 2009 6:15 pm
i bet you do
Posted: Nov 13, 2009 9:28 am
I hope they throw my police report out on a technicality.
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