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Goner Message Board / ???? / I'm a mess
Posted: Oct 27, 2003 4:16 am
So I went to the tacky Italian wedding of a high school friend yesterday. I got drunker than I've been in five years. I got hit on by a Russian bi-sexual lady. She said "I find you very attractive, I go both ways" and I was like "Um, I don't." The dad of the bride gave the shortest wedding speech I've ever heard. And also I puked.

Anyway, after the wedding, we (me, and my friends Jenny and Aaron) were going to stay at Jenny's mom's house. I was supposed to stay in her mom's room and Jenny and Aaron were going to sleep on the couch. I've known Jenny since kindergarten and she's always said that her house is haunted, mainly in the bedroom I was to stay in and the basement. So I stumble in there, all wasted, and the last thing I remember is wrestling with my dress in a drunken attempt to take it off. Then I wake up, sitting on the couch with Aaron standing over me saying "What happened? What happened? What happened?" I said "I don't know, I was asleep, what are you talking about." Then I don't remember anything else, til this morning, they told me that Aaron was watching tv and I was in the bedroom and the next thing he knew, he heard a huge crash and found me by the stairs to the basement. I guess I kept saying that I was scared and that I was trying to go down the spiral staircase. But they haven't had a spiral staircase in twenty years. And its a very small one level house, and Aaron was awake and didn't hear me stumble past. And he really would have. So, I think a ghost carried me from the bedroom to the basement to suck out my soul and then dropped me. My foot is FUCKED. I skinned the top of it like took a huge chunk out of it, and twisted my ankle and my foot was so swollen that it was double the size of my other one. the end.

Posted: Oct 27, 2003 4:21 am
What the FUCK.

Norah, you are a fascilitator between the two dimensions now. You are the Queen of Fascilitation.

Posted: Oct 27, 2003 4:24 am

Miss Alex White: so like
You were basically fascilitating the spirit of a woman who died by falling down a stair case, but saved because she carried you, sparing you from her own gruesome death.

Posted: Oct 27, 2003 5:44 am
I am scared to go to sleep now. For real.
Posted: Oct 27, 2003 6:22 am
The next day, Aaron kept saying "If these walls could talk". None of us know what happened.
Posted: Oct 27, 2003 6:30 am
yeah, fiery... I agree... I'm afraid to go to sleep for fear of the ghost of Jeff Buckley. He used to live in my building years before I moved in...
Posted: Oct 27, 2003 7:27 am
Could Ralph Wiggum be this dimension's Guardian Angel?
Posted: Oct 27, 2003 9:11 am
In the eternal words of Groucho Marx:

"Boogaly Boogaly Boogaly!"

razor a go go
Posted: Oct 27, 2003 5:51 pm
we all need a good go-round w/ alcohol and physics every now and again. the same thing happened to me once only replace the wedding w/ leaving a party that got busted b/c the house was on fire.
Posted: Oct 27, 2003 6:24 pm
"Drunken Physics" is a good point...perhaps the alcohol pumping through the blood stream induces levitation ?

There have been unnatural occasions and super powers according to drunkardness within the last few...for instance, "How did I manage to drive home ?" Ecch. Yeh. I thought I was in a video game, trying to preserve my life and get home.

Doctor Sardonicus
Posted: Oct 27, 2003 6:31 pm
Do the Grifters still hang around Memphis?
I wouldn't be so afraid of the ghost of Jeff Buckley...the reason he's not half as pathetic as Elliot Smith, is because he didn't technically commit suicide, he was just goofing off in the Mississippi, trying to impress his date....and beside that he wasn't some pathetic indie rock sod.....He was more like a session music type, like Gilby Clarke or something, who like worked with Capt. Beefheart and shit..and was part of that tradition...But generally speaking he sucks in alot of ways, but not nearly as bad as Elliot Smith! If you like the Grifters you gotta like Buckley.

I'm not afraid of ghosts.....the guy that lived in my last apartment before me, o.d'd on painkillers and his body rotted for like 4 months before anybody found him......it never did quite loose the stink.

Posted: Oct 27, 2003 8:03 pm
i was in a house in cape cod a few summers ago and was sitting in a recliner just starting to doze off when a very distinct voice in my right ear said, "go to bed". it was pretty 'real' sounding and i thought it was one of the other people who were staying there, but when i bolted up it was just me in the room. i don't know if it was a 'ghost' or just my sympathetic nervous system kicking in so i wouldn't pass out in this chair. either way it sounded real enough and put a shine on me for a bit.

all i need to see now is a ufo and i'll be set. anyone seen a ufo or do people even bother with that anymore?

moody prick
Posted: Oct 27, 2003 8:14 pm
A ufo knocked me off my bike this summer. Shortly before it happened, I'd been hearing voices repeating "go home"
Posted: Oct 27, 2003 10:07 pm
I saw a UFO the night I graduated from high school. I was on mescaline but other people who weren't saw it too which is what really freaked us all out.

I was sitting in the middle of a street in East Memphis and noticed a dark shape hanging really low. There were lights on it. I told my boyfriend that it was a helicopter or a plane flying really low. Then we both just stared at each other because it was basically stationary and there was NO NOISE. Two girls who were not on hallucinogens came out, saw it and then we all went screaming down the driveway into the house. Then we all probably smoked hash.

Jakey Stiff
Posted: Oct 28, 2003 1:05 am
Leave the dope alone people.
Posted: Oct 28, 2003 2:40 am
There is nothing better than being 18, a good dose of mescaline, the Mall of Memphis followed by a few $1 Schaeffer's at the Antenna Club in Summer 1986.

Rock on, drug people.

Posted: Oct 28, 2003 3:07 am
Years ago, two friends and I were camping out in the Mojave and were up walking around, stone sober, at 3am when a ridiculously bright, golden object slowly cruised into view. We stopped and stared at this thing continue on a slow, horizontal path and then it began to make these crazy fast accelerations and stop on a dime, almost to the point of disappearing/reappearing in another spot.

I pretty much have zero belief in aliens, ghosts, etc. and am inclined to think it was a military project of some sort (with some seriously advanced technology), although it was pretty creepy. Especially after getting back to the truck and finding I'd locked the keys inside (I quickly cut the back window out with a pocket knife and we slept elsewhere that night).

Also, I used to get that "whispering night voice" thing as well when I was a kid. It was as if somebody would lean over and quietly say my name as I lie in bed. Man, haven't thought about that in years.

Posted: Oct 28, 2003 3:16 am
yeah, the whole ufo thing totally smacks of gov't black projects, especially in the mojave where there are dozens of military posts and probably a few we don't know about.
Doctor Sardonicus
Posted: Oct 28, 2003 7:16 am

I'm a firm believer in aliens, just not necessarily that they can/have visited the earth....because I mean, the universe is so fucking huge and there are so many galaxies....if life is possible on this planet, you know that life is possible somewhere else.....I used to think that I saw UFO's all the time growing up...but I fuckin lived on army and airforce bases.
God might have put people on Earth, but chemistry exists everywhere......I believe in god, and I'm a firm believer in ghosts too.
Posted: Oct 31, 2003 3:42 am
Hmm. I've never really thought much about aliens/UFOs... but then again, we can't even see the stars in Chicago.

When I was about thirteen, I was sleeping with my brother on a pull out couch in California. I woke up around 7 o'clock in the morning to see an elderly black woman, wearing her Sunday best, sitting on the edge of the sofa bed. She was just sitting, with her hands clasped on her lap.

I slowly rolled out of the bed and had a panic attack.

Posted: Nov 4, 2003 12:58 am
I couldn't go to sleep after seeing Norah's beer drinking trick after the Final Solutions' show Sat. night.
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 1:08 am
It was nice to have a new audience for that one!
CS Eunuch
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 1:18 am
beer drinking trick? Whazzat?
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 1:22 am
You woulda hadda seed it to believed it.
CS Eunuch
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 1:24 am
Maybe I did. From mid-Lost Sounds onward is hazy. There's drunken physics for ya.
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 1:24 am
Carey, you were there when I was doing that trick. I think. It was at that party.
CS Eunuch
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 1:27 am
All I really remember from Mike's party is feeling like a God cuz I pissed by the fountain out back and it was really loud and Marsh passed out with a shit-eating grin (the latter only cuz Todd took pictures).
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 1:33 am
Todd took a picture of my trick too, but it doesn't really reflect the majesty of it.

I wasn't SOOOO drunk on Saturday, though I was drunker than I thought....but I think my favorite part of the evening was saying "MARSH! MELLOW!" For some reason.

CS Eunuch
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 1:51 am
Egad! It's all slowly coming back! I also remember some kind soul shuttling us all back to the Red Roof like 'tards on our way to finger-painting class. Still don't remember the "trick" though.
Chris O
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 1:53 am
Clark driving James Arthur's van? that was a total retard bus.
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 1:55 am
The trick was me putting a beer bottle between my boobs (like through the neck of my teeshirt, perverts) and doing a back bend and drinking it.
CS Eunuch
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 1:59 am
Good. Just as long as James wasn't driving it...
CS Eunuch
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 2:01 am
Argh - wish I could do that.
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 2:02 am
Don't you remember James rolling/falling into the space between the two front captains chairs and just sort of lingering there until someone sat him upright again?
eric o
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 2:30 am
you have to remember mike condon working his own party minus shirt. what a genius.
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 2:35 am
And don't forget the fisherman's hat....and how upset he was when people started to go home. "Wait...don't you guys want to keep partying?"
Doctor Sardonicus
Posted: Nov 4, 2003 5:48 am
I caught James Arthur before he fell backwards into an empty spot of the moshpit...nothing but positive vibes in that mosh pit...positive vibes.
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