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Goner Message Board / ???? / This fucker poisoned two of my cats
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:20 pm | Edited by: bvalentine
 
This old man across the street has nothing but time to sit around and worry about what everybody else is doing. Constant complaining. Back when he liked me (which was short lived) he told me in conversation about killing squirrels in the neighborhood because they were getting all of his (get this) pecans. Also, he made numerous references to what city department(s) he had complained to that week.

So after a couple weekend parties, an in-house drum set, and a lawn that only get's mowed once every other month (sans weed-eater), I quickly became this guys enemy.

Alright. So my landlord (who's number the old man still has on speed dial from the previous tenant) gets a call about my 2 outside cats. I get a shit note in my mailbox, then all of a sudden a cat disappears. A week or so the other one disappears.

Weeks go by, the cats are long gone, and then today I go home at lunch. I hear a familiar cat so I started calling. He starts meowing really loud, it's Beetle Juice. He's in another yard just lying there meowing LOUD. I go over, and in the driveway there's a dead cat (my other one). I walk over to Beetle Juice and he's freaking out and won't let me near him. He jumps a fence and takes off under some house.

So. This fucker obviously poisoned my fucking cats. I'm definitely the wrong psycho to fuck with. It's TIME FOR A FUCKING WAR!
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:23 pm
 
you need to get his phone number and harass him constantly.
*67
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:24 pm
 
first you oughta slash his tires. just to blow off the rage. then you'll have time to plot more intricate and well thought out revenges.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:24 pm
 
sorry about your poor cats. i say poison this fuckers pecans.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:25 pm
 
That's really terrible. I don't let my cats outside. I don't know what I'd do in that instance but retribution is required somehow.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:25 pm
 
Damn...Gummo town.

I'd have to break his face.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:26 pm
 
molotov cocktail!
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:26 pm
 
yeah. or if you think you can prove it somehow, have his ass arrested.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:29 pm
 
kill the motherfucker
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:29 pm
 
Yeah, when someone kills your pets you don't prank call them, you either wind up in jail yourself for beating him within an inch of his life, or you get him put there. Personally, I'd go with the first option because I imagine that the police and courts are actually pretty sympathetic to someone beating someone for killing their pets. It's worth a week in jail and never being able to legally own a firearm again.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:31 pm
 
I assume he's got a big boner for his own yard, so do this:

1. mix Roundup and water
2. put in ice cube tray
3. freeze (duh)
4. get a sling shot
5. launch cubes at his yard after dark.
6. spots of dead lawn everywhere (after a few days)
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:38 pm
 
if he has gas heat, shut off his gas.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:40 pm
 
Man, listening to what you guys think is fair revenge for something like this makes me feel like a sociopath.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:43 pm
 
me too

i'd kill him
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:44 pm
 
stab the motherfucker in the back!
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:45 pm
 
definately call the cops. if nothin else file a report w/ all the details above. you don't wanna get fucked for what this psycho did. sorry about your cats.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:46 pm
 
Man, listening to what you guys think is fair revenge for something like this makes me feel like a sociopath.

yeah but I hate cats so much I almost empathise with the old man.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:53 pm
 
I'd kill this dude. Sugar in the gas tank, mailbox full of dogshit, broken windows, slashed tires, would just be a starter. Figure out a way to dose him with LSD. Or cyanide.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 7:57 pm
 
Wow! Support group here. I have some major plans. They do involve some beautiful land-scape work much like mt millionaire suggested. I need to move first.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:02 pm
 
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:02 pm
 
Goodbye Pixe RIP.

my blood is boiling.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:05 pm
 
The problem with filing a police report is, if nothing comes of it, then you can't do anything about the problem yourself because you've given yourself a motive. If you do not file a report, and he suspects you of say putting 5mg of DOC in his milk, causing him to experience psychosis of unimaginable proportions that could potentially lead to him experiencing cardiac arrest, well, the only way he'll be able to hang anything on you is by telling the police "I think he did this as revenge for my poisoning his cats."
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:07 pm | Edited by: banned
 
DOC, by the way is easily obtainable through the mail from Japan for relatively cheap. I would not have it mailed to your house though if I was planning on spinning my neighbor. I can think of about ten ways around this just off the top of my head though.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:09 pm
 
What ever you do -do it in a cold frame of mind. You must wait. That way you lessen the odds of being traced. " Vengeance is a dish best served cold".-And make sure he at least loses a LOT of sleep over it ,preferably including physical agony. Fucking up his yard or car ain't good enough. He would get over that quick. This deserves more than materiel loss.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:12 pm
 
You must wait

Agree. I've actually waited years before enacting my revenge on those who've wronged me. I wouldn't wait that long, but I would take my time with this. You need to have both emotional and physical distance between you. You don't want your emotions to blind you or cause you to be sloppy.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:13 pm
 
Fuck. Why do people do shit like this. There was some guy in Portland a few years back who decided he didn't like dogs at the park, and put poisoned meat under bushes and other places that dogs like to sniff around in. I can't remember how many died, but it was a big deal.

I suppose you would have to get an autopsy on your deceased cat to determine the real cause of death and go from there. If it's really poison or something else suspicious, then I would contact the authorities. I don't know how much something like that costs though.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:15 pm
 
yeah an i would definately hash out all the details of revenge on a public message board. that would be really smart.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:16 pm
 
A friend of mine had a problem with this guy. A quick background check through Wisconsin Circuit Court access showed that he had once been arrested for stealing a car. A plan was devised. Beer bottles were collected with rubber gloves from his recycling. They contain his finger prints and DNA. Eventually a car was stolen, ditched and filled with said beer bottles. Perfect frame up. Those repeat offender modifiers sometimes come in handy.

It's best to get to know your target and figure out a way to taylor your revenge in a way that would suit them best.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:17 pm
 
just go read a bunch of spy vs spy bofore you do anything. also theres a great book called east bay grease with some cool revenge stories in it.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:22 pm
 
yeah an i would definately hash out all the details of revenge on a public message board. that would be really smart.

I don't need to waste anymore energy on this guy. I just need to move to the middle of nowhere. I fucking hate people.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:28 pm
 
The police won't do shit....get The Humane society involved and and ask about animal cruelty charges....they will tie this guy up in court for the rest of his life....or until you beat the ever loving shit out of that bastard....those are some beautiful cats bv....this shit ain't right.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:28 pm
 
billy i am so sorry to hear about your cats.

you should take the dead one to the vet and have the vet do an autopsy.

i think if you don't want to mete out the revenge, a whole buncha people here would probably gladly do it for you...
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:31 pm
 
i think if you don't want to mete out the revenge, a whole buncha people here would probably gladly do it for you...

can't you be disbarred for makin statemnets like this, theresa???
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:39 pm
 
It's my fault. I should'nt be living where I'm living. I should of at least had a collar or something. I have a buncha cat, they just find me somehow. But she was the only cat that I really gave a shit about. The first cat that I actually went to the rescue league and adopted back in 95. I just need to move and forget about it. What I want to do and what I will do are two different things.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:40 pm
 
Billy, if you could find out where his parents are buried ,you could desecrate their graves. That would drive him off the deep end . It's their fault that he is such a piece of shit anyway.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:47 pm
 
desecrate their graves

Now we're talkin!!!!!!!!
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:51 pm
 
thats not very GOner.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:51 pm
 
i will fly from rainville(portland) to do this job for free. knock on the door and then just well,,,,,further info may incriminate myself.Dirty Deeds
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 8:56 pm
 
you can sneak under his car and drill a hole in his gas tank.

Then insert a spark plug. Gapped at .45

Then run an ignition wire from the ignition to the new spark plug.

You can purchse ignition wire by the foot to make custom ignition wires.

You'll just need some needle nosed pliers so that you can crimp the connectors.

If you're lucky the tank will be full. So it'll be a few days before you turn him into hamburger.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:01 pm
 
Awww man, that is so crazy. Sorry about your loss!!

We have a similar neighbor that we're trying to figure out what to do with as well. A few months ago, he had Dave's car towed, because it hadn't been driven in a while and looked abandoned to him. He has a driveway and can park his cars there. We, however, don't and have to park on the street. The car was parked in front of our house and not his, so why should it bother him??!! We've lived there for years, so it was obviously one of our cars and not some abandoned car!!

Now Dave has seen the fucker with a gun standing in his yard and shooting at squirrels in our yard. We have squirrel carcasses everywhere. This pisses me off so much and I don't know what to do. I had a pet squirrel that I rescued when I was young, so it hits extra close to home for me to know what he's doing. Also from where his house is and how he aims at the squirrels, he could be hitting one of our cars in the process. We have two cats as well, but luckily they are indoor cats. If he shot them, I probably would go over to his house and shoot him. They are my babies and I love them more than anything!

Does anyone know if I can report him for shooting squirrels and if so who do I report that too?

Hopefully we will be moving out of where we live this year (looking to buy a house) and when we do, Dave is definitely seeking revenge on the guy! Just have to figure out what. I think paint will be involved somehow.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:02 pm | Edited by: Womb Raider
 
Does anyone know if I can report him for shooting squirrels and if so who do I report that too?

I dunno where you live but it's illegal to discharge a firearm in most suburban/urban locales no matter what you're shooting at. even if it's a bb gun.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:04 pm | Edited by: gore
 
Does anyone know if I can report him for shooting squirrels and if so who do I report that too?

Humane Society or SPCA or Your Local Dog Catcher (animal services)

would be a good place to start
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:06 pm
 
no matter what you're shooting at.

even hippies?
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:11 pm
 
can't you be disbarred for makin statemnets like this, theresa???

i'm not suggesting they do it (which would be "professionally irresponsible") - i'm just saying they probably would. and gladly. without billy (or anyone) asking them to

Does anyone know if I can report him for shooting squirrels and if so who do I report that too?
what gore said AND --- where do you live? because what womb raider said is true it's illegal to discharge a firearm in most suburban/urban locales no matter what you're shooting at. even if it's a bb gun.
- so just call the cops or sheriff, whichever has jurisdiction for your area - esp. when you see him standing there with a gun.

and if the squirrels are on YOUR property - he has no right to shoot them. theoretically, they could be your pets. if they're on your property, they are by extension, your property. you'd have a civil case against him as well as the criminal charge, however petty, the cops would slap against him for the gun
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:13 pm
 
I live in Atlanta. Will look into calling someone if he keeps it up.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:16 pm
 
Now Dave has seen the fucker with a gun standing in his yard and shooting at squirrels in our yard. We have squirrel carcasses everywhere. This pisses me off so much and I don't know what to do.


take pictures. video, if you can. the squirrel carcasses, if they are still there, are enough for you to call Animal Control. Animal Control will investigate how they became carcasses, and could initiate the case.

what part of Atlanta do you live?
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:19 pm
 
what part of Atlanta do you live?
The squirrel part.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:22 pm
 
what part of Atlanta do you live?
The squirrel part.


Oh yeah, that's on Peachtree, right?
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:31 pm
 
Close! I live right near Piedmont Park in midtown off of Monroe.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:36 pm
 
Oh yeah, that's on Peachtree, right?


that was an attmept at a joke.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:41 pm
 
kill the motherfucker

Seriously. Nobody fucks with my cats. Nobody.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:46 pm
 
find as many "bill me later" magazine subscription cards as you can. you can get them out of magazines at the library. subscribe his ass to as many magazines as possible, well over 100.

before he realizes what's going on, he'll be getting tons of mail & his credit will get fucked up for non-payment. use different hand-writing than your own on the cards in case anyone decides to investigate for mail fraud.

i know it's lame revenge but it's something. as for myself, i would do something more violent or destructive if anyone screwed with my 3 cats.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 9:48 pm
 
Blow his house up. That man has no conscience, so blow his house up. Who could poison a cute cuddly cat like that?
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 10:12 pm
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your cats. THat's just awful.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 10:57 pm
 
If he's really, really old, you could just let nature take its course. Stay close to him so you can find out when he's dying. Then go to the hospital or his house and tell him he deserves it and you hope his death will be long and painful, and laugh at him while he cries about his sad pathetic life being over. And then when he dies you can go to his funeral and tell his family what he did to your cats. Then everyone that knows him will remember him as a cat killer and his reputation will be blemished forever.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 11:22 pm
 
Geez. I only suggested killing him.
Posted: Feb 2, 2007 11:44 pm
 
or dress up like a girl scout and sell him some poisoned thin mints
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 1:14 am
 
Sorry, Billy...

You may get revenge but, it won't bring the dead back to life.

Let it rest.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 1:15 am
 
Or just go assassinate his ass.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 1:25 am
 
How did the guy kill the squirrels? If it was with poison, then maybe the cats ate a dieing squirrel or some other rodent somebody poisoned. Maybe it wasn't intentional, to your cats anyway. Just something to consider before inducing heart failure, terrorizing him at the hospital and crashing his funeral. Unless of course you are moved to avenge the death of the squirrels also, in which case you should probably just kill him slowly by poisoning the pecans like somebody mentioned. Either way that sucks. I'm sorry for your loss.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 1:41 am
 
man kathy you are such a buzz kill
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 1:50 am
 
Maybe it wasn't intentional, to your cats anyway.

Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking. Didn't your other cat live? Also, cats do just die sometimes. I dunno. I would think it through before you take some huge revenge on him.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 2:12 am
 
kathy makes a good point. so does goliedown. my advice was gay. the cops woulda just goofed on you later in the patrol car durin coffee break. still sucks though an should be investigated somehow. an i agree w/ your asessment of the human race. especially in robin an brad excrement's case.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 2:15 am
 
that's why i suggest autopsy for the dead cat
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 2:59 am
 
You know that's actually the second time I've heard of animal cruelty/killing from someone I know that lives in Mississippi. My buddy Zach's (Lives in Hadesburg, Mississippi) neighbor had a Chocolate Lab mix that must have barked too much for the neighbor. The neighbor shot my friend's dog with a 22 rifle in the middle of the afternoon. A neighbor called the cops about the gunshots. Dude was arrested for it but, he got out on bail and a slap on the wrist 6 month probation. Gay!
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 3:05 am | Edited by: Womb Raider
 
My buddy Zach's (Lives in Hadesburg, Mississippi) neighbor had a Chocolate Lab mix that must have barked too much for the neighbor

well, those people in mississippi shoot anything that's chocolate colored! I saw it in black snake moan.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 3:05 am
 
chocolate labs are some of the best dogs the good lord ever made. sad.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 4:12 am
 
Billy, I am so sorry to hear this! Please get them autopsied. I really regret not having done that for Gracie. It still haunts me not knowing what happened to her. And if it is poison, contact the Humane Society, or ask your vet what action you can take. It's not only about revenge, it's also about preventing the deaths of other innocent animals.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 4:47 am
 
It's not only about revenge, it's also about preventing the deaths of other innocent animals by the hand of assholes who shouldn't be allowed in society
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 4:52 am
 
CAT KILLER
better him than me
CAT KILLER
fuck feline brutality
CAT KILLER
what about his family grieving
CAT KILLER
FUCK IT, ITS TIME TO GET EVEN!!

-paw count
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 5:46 am
 
I can't even read this thread. I'm a total cat person.

All I gotta say is: DON'T LET YOUR CATS OUTSIDE. DON'T LET YOUR CATS OUTSIDE. A HOUSE CAT IS A HEALTHY CAT. A HOUSE CAT IS A HEALTHY CAT. HUMANS CAN'T BE TRUSTED. HUMANS CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

The cat from my childhood, Snowy, lived to be 20 (human years) due to the following of these simple rules. Also, Pickle, the oldest of the 4 cats in our household at the age of 17 (human years) has followed this practice for awhile (but, right now, she's pretty sick with an upper respiratory infection which is cramping the nerves in her head and making her stumble around the house like the town drunk. Hope the vet gave us the right diagnosis, or there's going to be a bombing in Hartford, WI sometime soon. I mean, we paid the money...).

DON'T LET YOUR CATS OUTSIDE. A HOUSE CAT IS A HEALTHY CAT. HUMANS ARE SHITBAGS.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 6:32 am
 
A HOUSE CAT IS A HEALTHY CAT. HUMANS ARE SHITBAGS.

A house cat being a healthy cat is more due to nature than humans being shitbags. A lot of feline diseases are airborne viruses, so a housecat having just slight contact with some alleycat can catch some bad shit. Also, there's just a lot of plants, rodents, and other animals out doors that cats really shouldn't mess with. And, yeah, humans are shitbags. So there are several good reasons to keep your cats indoors.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 6:34 am
 
Back to the topic at hand. Billy, you should make your shitbag neighbor fuckin' afraid to come outdoors himself.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 7:25 am
 
This is terrible. I'm sorry.

I have a 16 yr. old, redneck neighbor who admits to killing cats for kicks. He bragged to me about it, shrugging his shoulders and saying "...everybody tells me I'm gonna be a serial killer." One of my cats dissapeared a couple of years earlier. This kid also is nutty about hunting and cleaning the carcasses. He does it for everyone in his family (they are all over this area and they all hunt). I walked in his garage once and it smelled like dead flesh.

So anyway, a couple years back one of my cats dissapeared. We also found a homeless cat that we fed a summer ago in the ferns next to our house dead with quite a bit of trauma.

Crazy fuckers everywhere. Like you bv, I intend to move out of my little burg soon--not that I won't wind up in a worse situation neighbor-wise.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 7:27 am
 
good place to start
I'd cool it on the vengence, but checkm the animal shelter for more cats before the staff does population control. While there, explain the problem to the staff and ask for some advice on keeping those pussys you rescue alive and well in the war zone. By way of mediation that sicko cross the street might be in a world of shit or he might just be pissed at cat poo in his yard

Remember that episode of Rockford where Jim's dad's mailbox is being repeatedly terminated by those two nuckle head hoods from Jersey?

A fight can sometimes head right into Hatfield and McCoy country.
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 8:07 am
 
KILL ALL THE HUMANS. CATS SHALL RULE THE EARTH. KILL ALL THE HUMANS. CATS SHALL RULE THE EARTH.

Stepping back and reflecting on this mantra, THEY PROBABLY SHOULD! They are much better equiped to handle this shit than we are. My main cat Nico (yeah, pretensious name and all, but she can back it up cause' her fur is like velvet and she used to live with a cat named Iggy) should be in charge of the whole world. The ideals of yelling at dirty litter boxes and sleeping in sock/underwear drawers are ideals we should all take to heart...
Posted: Feb 3, 2007 8:52 am
 
A HOUSE CAT IS A HEALTHY CAT.
I know, and was speaking of this earlier, but it's a quality of life thing with my cats and me. I think I'd be willing to forfeit 10 or so years of living as I please to 100+ years of the same old walls. And yes, I have had indoor only cats when it was appropriate, as in living on a busy street, etc. But said cats were so completely miserable that we found a new home - due largely to the cat uprising that was about to take place! I know this is the seedy underbelly of cat-lovers, but cats need to have fun too! And I make sure mine are spayed and all, and they sleep inside every night and have their shots and wear tags, and I know when they're acting weird or normal. And "kill all humans" is just stupid and will get you (and your animals) nowhere.
Also, "revenge" gets you nowhere, esp. since, if I'm not mistaken, Billy only thinks it might be this guy. It could also be something nobody's even thought of yet, such as heartworms (which is what my vet told me they would've checked for in addition to poisoning).
Posted: Feb 4, 2007 3:30 am
 
I wonder what Lastname thinks of all this.
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