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Goner Message Board / ???? / Who was a Boy Scout? Seriously.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:51 am
 
Me.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:11 am
 
me
almost eagle even
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:17 am
 
"CHEERFUL
A Scout looks for the bright side of things. He cheerfully does tasks that come his way. He tries to make others happy."

doesn't seem like there are a lot of 'goner scouts'
I was, for seven years.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:28 am
 
Me. One merit badge and my eagle project were all that I had left to do. When they extended the exercise portion of the physical fitness merit badge to three months from one I just gave up. Wish I had toughed it out but i'm lazy.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:39 am
 
got to Life, then had to CRUSH the parents. A real blow-out! The cool older scouts loved to say they were in it for \"the camping\". I hate camping for more than one night!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:10 am
 
Went as far as the Bear badge in Cub scouts. Would've went to Webelos but junior high got in the way.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:45 am
 
does Hitler Youth count?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:46 am
 
i was a propane propane scout
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:48 am
 
Me.

until they kicked me out for irresponsible behaviour :-(
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:48 am
 
i made it through the cub scouts...
but i was KICKED OUT OF THE WEBELOS!!!
1-2-3-4!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:49 am
 
Propane, Propane...
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:54 am
 
Stalker!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 12:17 pm
 
Yep, Eagle scout right here. Anybody need a square knot, or a double half hitch. Scouts is were I learned all about drugs, and duct taping people to trees in the middle of nowhere. It was fun.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 12:29 pm
 
So you guys also got a totem name? Mine was "Capricious cricket". Not very flattering if you ask me... :-(
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 12:38 pm
 
Got kicked out for drinking on Rock Island. I was a Life Scout w/ a merit badge & a project to go. I only stayed as long as I did because the old man was a troop leader. Once I hit 13 the last thing I wanted to do was dress up in a uniform and camp w/ a buncha dudes. Anyone in the Order of the Arrow "secret society?" I played Injun and tapped kids out that were pissing their pants & then took 'em across the lake in a canoe while they cried.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 12:38 pm
 
I was also an alter boy, yeesh.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 1:09 pm
 
deadcityrebel has his eagle
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 1:10 pm
 
Was in Scouting from Wolf Cub all the way to Life Scout with nothing but the service project to go. Family made a major move and I begged my parents not to make me join back up in the thought that somehow I would not be readily identifiable as the biggest dork in the room in the new city if I ditched the knee socks and sash (didn't work, duh). Departure also hastened by the Senior Patrol Leader who thought any hike was incomplete without him singing "Bomb Iran" to the tune of "Barbara Ann." Over and over and over, and then a little more for good measure.

and duct taping people to trees in the middle of nowhere.
That happened to me. Multiple times. Ouch.

Anyone in the Order of the Arrow "secret society?"
Yeah. What a let-down. My father had built it up as one of the best things that ever happened to him as a kid. Evidently Dad's childhood didn't include Juarez, Mexico or music.

I still can't see my Grandmother without her pointing out that I'd be a millionaire who'd surely be buying her a new car every year if I'd just made Eagle. "You know, your father didn't go past Life either. I guess you both just weren't meant to follow through."
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 1:50 pm
 
I made it to a few meetings and a camping trip or two. Any body wanna go Snipe Hunting?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 2:03 pm
 
I was also a boy scout and and a alter boy. My parents didn't even goto church, but I was really into the whole alterboy thing until I fainted up on the alter one palm sunday. Anyway, boy scouts was kind of cool except for the fact that I'd get harassed and fucked with alot by some of the scouts and the scoutmaster thought I was a satanist which almost got me kicked out.

My dad was a scout when he was a kid and he went to an international jamboree in Scotland when he was sixteen years old and ended up running away and bumming around Europe on his own for about six months or something. Hearing stories about that all the time growing up was pretty influential on me I guess cause I ended up running away and living on my own myself by the time I was twelve.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 2:20 pm
 
i was, made it to life scout, less than a year from eagle scout but wanted to quit the whole time...my dad finally let me when he realized that i was bad influence on the younger scouts.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 2:37 pm
 
I'd get harassed and fucked with alot by some of the scouts
There were some good things about scouting (like excessive drinking or doing exactly the opposite thing of what you were asked/supposed to do), but it was also the playground of the local jocks. Biggest jocks became leaders (with military and autoritarian obsessions), tried to kill every sense of individuality (and have all become important people with jobs that 'matter' or have become politicians. However, those days made me (and a lot of my friends from those days) hate 'communities'.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 3:26 pm
 
I was a We-Blow! I was named "Falling Eagle" of the Shoshone tribe at the We-bo-ree! And BV, I wanna go snipe hunting!

What's blue and comes in brownies?

Cub Scouts!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 3:28 pm
 
Oh yeah, all our parents kicked out our den leader cuz he was always liquored up at meetings so my step-dad took over. He was probably stoned. Anyway, he took us hiking in Red Rock Canyon and in the car on the way there we ran over a snake!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 3:33 pm
 
My dad chaperoned a camping trip one time and got in trouble because he was letting us play with knives before any of us had our Whittling Chip badge.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 3:39 pm
 
Well how else are you supposed to earn it? SHEESH!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 3:41 pm
 
I was a sorry excuse for a Cub Scout. I couldn't even tie a square knot...
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 3:53 pm
 
I was a cub scout, webelo, and scout and made it to life before quitting when all the cool older guys, and subsequently my friends quit. It was also the same night as Karate which I quit soon after for some reason.

Never made it to the order of the arrow, but it seemed real mysterious, and cool.

Great times, and experiences but a bit too much male nudity at times. One time the older dudes caught me spying on their camp and pulled my pants down then poured TANG powder on me while holding me over the fire. Scarred?

We pulled horrible and life-threatening pranks that I pray kids today aren't.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 3:55 pm
 
a bit too much male nudity at times.


Are you sure that wasn't Nambla?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 4:29 pm
 
my Nambla meetings were on Sunday nights. they kicked me out when the pubes came in. good times.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 4:29 pm
 
Ha ha Order of the Arrow. You get to pretend to be silent braves that end up getting forced to do manual labor at some falling down campsite without talking and then, in bigman ceremony, they whisper the secret password and give you the handshake.

Wanna know?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 4:39 pm
 
Like most above, I was a merit badge and project away from Eagle.
I did do the Order of the Arrow, though.

We pulled horrible and life-threatening pranks that I pray kids today aren't.
Totally. I can't believe some of the stuff we did. Rambo had come out, and it seemed like every kid had a really big survival knife. Covered pits with spikes, snares, small bombs....

My left hand has a "J" branded into it. You can barely see it anymore, but it's there.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 4:42 pm
 
I was a brownie for one day. That was how long it took me to find out those girls were lesbos and I didn't get free cookies for hanging around.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 4:43 pm
 
Did you have flashlight wars? The scrubs were the generally the only ones with flashlights while the rest of us slunk around in fatigues and corked faces, brandishing seppuku knives and trowels. Post Vietnam War Movie Syndrome. Yeah, the best is when you had eaten something disagreeable on that high adventure thing and have to crap over the side of a canoe in the middle of some lake. Good times. Everyone I knew from Scouts either ended up in jail, became addicts or came out.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 4:48 pm
 
Boy Scouts is also where I picked up my smoking habit.

There was this really dumb kid in one of the troops I was in...
A friend and I were throwing fire crackers into the fire every so often when he wasn't looking. Dumb kid says "Quit throwing fire crackers into the fire". We told him we weren't. That the loud popping came from the wood he picked out for the fire. "Dumbass, you got Elmwood". Finally convinced him. He apologized. Later the Scout Master comes over. "Quit throwing fire crackers into the fire". Dumb kid immediately says "Could be Elmwood".

Ha.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 4:52 pm
 
I don't think we were ever that clever. We were more into throwing rocks at people. We did have one guy who was a sound sleeper and was always good for moving him whilst asleep to another location. He later developed this waking dream state that would freak us out because he would suddenly appear out of the bushes, say something about aliens and then disappear. Eventually, we never had to move him as he would move himself. I must've liked this shit as I could go on and on about stuff. Sadly, I don't think I could recommend scouting to children these days. Yeah, I remember smoking reeds with moss at an early age.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 4:52 pm
 
Did you have flashlight wars? The scrubs were the generally the only ones with flashlights while the rest of us slunk around in fatigues and corked faces, brandishing seppuku knives and trowels. Post Vietnam War Movie Syndrome.
Totally. And contraband BB/Pellet guns at night.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:02 pm
 
I do remember this one winter campout where we went up to this abandoned ski run/cabin where we usually built snow shelters and slept in them. Generally, we would do a real shitty job with the shelters because when we finished we got to tube down the ski run. Wet and cold, we would sleep in the shelters that did a great job of turning everything soggy while the adults would sleep in the cabin.

One year, when we got to the cabin, we discovered a bunch of college kids had taken over the cabin for a weekend getaway. I remember the adults being pissed since they had reserved the place and the college kids ended up letting them have the kitchen while they kept the rest. Lots of babes, bud and booze were bandied about. I remember one older scout, a 14 year old Jimmy L., who tried to chat up some drunk girls that night. They got him to walk around and show them some snow caves and teased him about having a threesome (so he says) before finally crushing him. I somehow scored a fifth of bourbon after administering first aid to some dumb blonde who tweaked her knee on the ski run earlier that day. She spent the whole night blathering on in her cups about her boyfriend. At least I got to sleep in the cabin.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:02 pm
 
I was one of the kids that got the "pranks" pulled on them (if you consider gangbeating some cocky, effeminate dirtball for listening to "weird" music a "prank"). One time a bunch of kids used me a sled to go down a icey rocky hill. It sucked.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:09 pm
 
I somehow scored a fifth of bourbon
We found a case of beer one time.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:15 pm
 
We found a case of beer one time.

I'm always amazed at how total strangers will want to smoke you out or hook you up. We met this one idiot once, on the trail, who was hiking by himself of all things. He was playing out some Japhy Ryder-type trip and only had salami, cheese and wine. He was starving and had blisters all over his combat booted feet. We have him some mole skin and freeze-dried turkey supreme (ass supreme is what we called it and why we gave it) and he gave us his wine and some weed. Go figure. He probably died. I can't remember how many times I've hitchhiked and some lone girl would pick me up and offer to smoke me out or shrooms or the like. See, if the internet had been around perhaps she would've been more cautious!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:20 pm
 
There was a really funny bit on the Phil Hendrie show (when it still ran in Memphis) where some "kid" called in and was arguing that America didn't need to support an organization "full of a bunch of pole-sitters that call themselves we-blows."
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:30 pm
 
OK, who burned shit, with what and with what results?

For example, we used the red fuel tank/burner from a coleman two burner to light tree sap on fire while on the tree. No burns. It should've exploded (no clue as to fault).

We accidentally set a Peak 1 on fire which then exploded over younger mormon tenderfoot resulting in him leaving our troop to attend the safer, fast-track mormon troop across town.

While trying to ignite a PVC pipe with black powder under a boulder on a hillside rock scree, we failed to cause combustion (no clue as to fault) but did manage to start a rock slide which resulted in boulder rolling an awesome three hundred feet straight down, across a road and into a fisherman and also revealed a dead rattlesnake that was under the boulder.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:31 pm
 
this is something noone knows
kicked out of the webelos

actually, I quit.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:39 pm | Edited by: Jack Stands
 
Coleman lantern fuel used to start fire to a viking funeral pyre for a snake that some kid killed with rambo-style survival knife. Sent afloat on well-crafted raft using above mentioned hitches and square knots down the Spring River. Not sure if it was the cause of a brush fire further down stream that we heard about later.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:43 pm
 
Did you sing a song? Do you still know the songs?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:44 pm
 
i was a scout. my parents made me wear the uniform to school on scout days! even at a young age(10) i was beyond embarrassed.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:46 pm
 
Did you sing a song?
No, but we beat the crap out of the kid that started throwing rocks at it. Is a little reverence too much to ask in such matters?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:47 pm
 
Damn, I got my thrid grade school pic taken in my uniform and I couldn't have been more excited.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:50 pm
 
BJ, i had mine taken in the uniform as well. it still sits in a frame in my mothers kitchen. funny stuff!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:50 pm
 
Also fun was to watch my dad beat the other dads at the later-night poker games they had. Father-son canoe trips could get awkward because you could call the kid's dad a loser, and ultimately said dad would prove it in some way or another.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:53 pm
 
I remember having to tell this one dad, who was our patrol adviser, that his son was a complete idiot and pussy. It was hard watching him agree with me in front of his son.

Father to father politics was an interesting thing to observe too. Like scoutmaster shit. I'm glad I didn't have to worry about that.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 5:56 pm
 
Ever get the troop van pulled over by taping "HELP WE'RE BEING KIDNAPPED!!!!" signs to the back windows?

This never worked, and looking back, I wonder if I should be concerned about that...
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:02 pm
 
Yeah, it never worked. We just got waved at. Did you ever notice that the dots on the headliner were just painted on?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:14 pm
 
Did you ever notice that the dots on the headliner were just painted on?

Headliner?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:31 pm
 
The stuff on the ceiling of the van. In the 60's/70's they sometimes were made with little holes, something to help with sound dampening. The church vans we used had fake holes.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:38 pm | Edited by: Jack Stands
 
Ah, yes....

Also I remember the obligatory stop at McDonalds on the way back from camping; if you wore your uniform, you got %10 off.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:42 pm
 
Our troop was hardcore - we camped every single month, no matter how frickin' cold it was. I stayed in a few caves, I slept in a snow ditch under a tarp in below zero weather, and when we were lucky we stayed in a cabin. I seriously never need to camp again.

I made the front of the Green Bay Press Gazette for the one & only time as a French Explorer for GB's 350th anniversary. They enlisted a couple troops for the trip, one of which was ours. We carved our own paddles (mine was like 850 lbs and crooked) and paddled canoes about 75 miles down Lake Michigan (Green Bay side). It took 5 days or so. There were 4 canoes of 2 kids each & one "leader" canoe. One Explorer & one Injun per canoe. One day we made it a total of 1 mile, because the wind was whipping in our faces and we were riding 8 ft rollers (no lie - scary as fuck & couldn't see anything except when we were riding on the wave top). One radio station that stopped at our camp along the way asked what I liked best about the trip & I said "spaghetti." We were tired as fuck at the end, and when we finally hit the shore, the TV cameras weren't ready, so they made us paddle back out and come back in. I told my Injun (some smelly-gross kid from another town) that his lazy ass better paddle toot sweet because I wanted to be first, so we booked it back in & led the way. Yay!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:45 pm
 
I also remember the time that John H(something) got caught "counting the hairs on his dick." And when Martin Peterson leaned on a tree on top of a 60 foot cliff in Door County and fell over the side. He later played kickball & went to church before someone decided he should be checked for internal injuries. He said he "felt like Superman." Also, when Dave M. (senior troop leader) got caught with whiskey in a hairspray bottle. He smoked weed, too, and ate the whole troop's Pop Tarts for the weekend (then puked 'em all up). This was the same Rock Island trip where I got kicked out.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:45 pm
 
OK, who burned shit, with what and with what results?
everything and it all got burned.

my greatest achievement in scouting was starting a bow and arrow war with flaming arrows in the middle of the night, puncturing every tent in our campsite multiple times and burning a few down. no one could stop us. we had fuckin flaming arrows.

order of the arrow was a joke. it was fun getting lost in arkansas on the way back though. standing on some lookout point in the ozarks to see if we could spot any other traces of humanity besides the road were on.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:48 pm
 
At Bear Paw (summer camp), my buddy Bob and I brought sixers which we strung on, uh, fish stringer things in Bear Paw Lake in order to keep them semi-cold. Those lasted a few nights. So easy to get drunk as a middle schooler. I swam across Bear Paw Lake & back that year w/ a hangover & got the "Mile Swim" badge. Horseflies bit the fuck outta me as I crossed that lake. Fuckin' outdoors.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:49 pm
 
One time we snuck David Boltz out of his tent while he was sleeping and strung him up a tree in his sleeping bag. He didn't wake up until hours later, and then he cried.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:50 pm
 
Hi sister Sally had a seizure in front of me in Catholic school when I was in 2nd grade or something. She banged her head against the desk & yelled "Mommy Mommy fuck fuck fuck" and I thought she was possessed.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:51 pm
 
We had some good times with ronsonol lighter fluid. We'd start a little fire and streak the flame over to some poor fucker's foot. Good times. Made it to star, got my driver's license (14 in Kansas at the time) and split to smoke cloves and wear even faggier clothes. Was repeatedly reprimanded for off-color jokes. Order of the Arrow was a load of shit. I got black-balled by some little puss I set on fire.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:53 pm
 
For my Order of the Arrow "ordeal" I had to haul brush all day (for no reason I could figure) and "fast," which meant bread & water. Couldn't say a word or you were "out." I figured there'd be amazing secrets involving alien technology or Indian ghost crap, but there weren't any that I could reckon outside of a handshake & a little boring babble.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:54 pm
 
I seriously never need to camp again.

I keep trying to explain that to some people but they don't get it and call me unadventurous. I've had all the fucking camping I could ever want. Seriously.

ate the whole troop's Pop Tarts for the weekend
Reminds me of the colorful meals we would plan for our monthly sojourns. Camping is the only time I could stomach Spam, and it was soooo good. Dry instant oatmeal was not.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:54 pm
 
Copper & aluminum & other metals make neat colors when you throw them in a fire.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:55 pm
 
Riflery merit badge was pretty cool, though.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:57 pm | Edited by: Jack Stands
 
Order of the Arrow "ordeal"


Yeah we had to fast. My task for the day was to help some guy weld a flagpole. He kept trying to get me to talk, too.

Anybody get the egg and one match deal in the morning?

It would have been cooler if there had been alien technology.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:57 pm
 
Yeah man, when you're hungry as hell & tired from marching around the woods all day & collecting brush, Spam over the fire is like.....something tasty. Ever use a Dutch Oven? I'm not talking about sheetfarts. We also used tin foil to wrap up meat & veggies & throw 'em in the fire for a while...I forget what those were called. Pancakes almost every morning. Oh, and those pie things where you butter two slices of bread & throw sugar on 'em and put pie filling in the middle of the clamp-thing with long extensions. I'm set if anyone drops me off in the middle of the wilderness. As long as I have those pie thingers and a griddle. And foil.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:58 pm
 
Couldn't say a word or you were "out."

We were led up to move rocks from one stream bed to another. The second I got there, I was stung by a bee and started to swell up (I'm allergic). I tried to tell the idiot guide that I was allergic and he motioned for me to not speak, young brave. I showed him my tongue and he took me back to camp and I ended up eating all the bread for the bread and water treatment. When they saw that, they took my boots away and made me stand in the stream and move rocks.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 6:58 pm
 
Holy shit!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:00 pm | Edited by: Jack Stands
 
Reminds me of the colorful meals we would plan for our monthly sojourns


Somebody always made some sort of "cobbler" in a dutch oven and for some reason would put any manner of Kool-Aid powder in it.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:03 pm
 
Holy shit!

Ahoaltin, brother
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:03 pm
 
Yeah, I never need to eat Spam or any form of cobbler again, either.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:03 pm
 
We also used tin foil to wrap up meat & veggies & throw 'em in the fire for a while...I forget what those were called.


Hobo Dinner!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:04 pm
 
We also used tin foil to wrap up meat & veggies & throw 'em in the fire for a while...I forget what those were called.

hobo dinner.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:05 pm
 
HAHAHAAAAAA!!!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:06 pm
 
box of cake mix, can of sprite, can of pie filling. line foil in dutch oven. throw some coals on and go blow something up. after you get done being lectured about why its dangerous to blow shit up, cobbler should be done.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:07 pm
 
I wish I still had my Pine Wood Derby car.

My dad was a Pack Leader for Cub Scouts and a Webelos "den chief", or whatever. Mom was a "den mother". I helped my dad build the long-ass, colapseable track for the Derby. You'd think I had an edge in testing my car since the track was at our house, but I ended up horribly defeated.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:09 pm
 
Oh yeah, Bob and I were at a meeting one time (it was in the church basement) and noticed that the cooler containing a couple dozen half barrels of beer (this was a Catholic church) was never locked. Bob thought it would be a good idea to steal one. I concurred. However, Bob had a bum leg/cast so I had to run up the stairs with it (as a 13 yr old) while he kept guard. Then I had to boost it over a fence for him. Then he decided to roll it for his "turn," but I explained the bubbles dilemna. So I had to continue carrying it around Sturgeon Bay. After about 6 blocks, we hit a main road, and I had to run across the street at about 9 PM with a half barrel while Bob did nothing. Then when we got to Bob's house, he said I couldn't drop it there. I knew I couldn't take it home. So we dropped it off a block away in some old lady's rain barrel (a big drum on its side).

When I went back the next day (a few hours after school), it was gone. Bob said that someone must have stolen it, but I was positive he & Chris J took it before I got there & sold it to "older kids." When any 2 person combination of me/Bob/Chris were together, we ripped the other one off. My Devo tape got wrapped around my house. Half the money in my money jar suddenly disappeared. Bob shot me point blank with a bee bee gun when he caught Chris & I stealing whiskey from his parents' basement. Ah, the innocence of youth.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:11 pm
 
I wish I still had my Pine Wood Derby car.


Mine was the ugliest fucker ever! Still, it won 3rd place in the troop (I got a trophy!) but fell apart in the regionals.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:11 pm
 
Yeah, my dad basically did my pinewood derby cars. One year was a sprint car, another was an Indy car (second place!) and another was a shitty model T that the old man wanted (& I didn't).

You're a hobo dinner!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:12 pm
 
Did you put lead weights in the bottom to make 'em heavy up to the limit? That was some serious shit.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:12 pm
 
I, too ate shit in the regionals. My car had human teeth on it, though.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:13 pm
 
Whoah! My sprint car had a "wing" up on 4 nails, which was considered pretty snazzy. However, that car was slow as fuck because you don't need "drag" going downhill in a straight line. Duh to me!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:14 pm
 
Cub Scouts all join in the song, Doo-Dah, Doo-dah!
Pine car track is mighty long, Oh, do-dah day!

Chorus:

Going to run so fast, going to get ahead,
Bet my money on a blue pine car, Somebody bet on the red.

Chorus:

Red cars, blue cars, green and gray, Doo-Dah, Doo-dah!
Running on the track today. Oh, doo-dah day!

Chorus:

Pine wood cars have lots of class, Doo-dah, doo-dah!
Even though they don't use gas, Oh, doo-dah day!

Chorus:

They're the pride of all the lads, doo-dah, doo-dah!
Build by Cub Scouts and their dads, Oh, doo-dah day!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:15 pm
 
Did you put lead weights in the bottom to make 'em heavy up to the limit? That was some serious shit.


I always haeard about people doing that, but I don't think I ever saw one.

My car had human teeth on it,
I seem to remember putting some model airplane decals on mine. You know, like a Spitfire, or something, that had the teeth near the prop.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:16 pm
 
All I can remember about boy scouts was that I hated it. My scoutmaster told me I was going to hell because I was a Jew. I told him I just wanted to play duck-duck-goose.

Cub Scouts was great, though. I made a pinecone centerpiece and I won a prize at the Pack Jamboree when I was the first one to whistle while eating saltines. I think I won a fondue set.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:18 pm
 
I had the lead weight thing.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:19 pm
 
My scoutmaster told me I was going to hell because I was a Jew.


Well, you are...
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:21 pm | Edited by: tim
 
Did you put lead weights in the bottom to make 'em heavy up to the limit? That was some serious shit.

i did this.
boiled down some lead fishing weights and poured it into a hole on the bottom of the car.

i found my scout master's huge collection of porn, which included some scratch & sniff mags.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:23 pm
 
My scoutmaster told me I was going to hell because I was a Jew.


Well, you are...


Do they play duck-duck-goose there?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:27 pm
 
i found my scout master's huge collection of porn, which included some scratch & sniff mags.

Bob (of "Bob" fame) used to house/dogsit for his enormous pear-shaped next-door neighbor. Said neighbor had piles of porn that we would peruse. A couple years later, I moved about 40 minutes (& two school districts) north and had Mr. Pear for some classes at my new school (like Drivers Ed - I didn't even know the guy was a teacher). I never mentioned the porn, but he tried recruiting me for the football team (he was coach & they hadn't won a conference game in 4 years). His wife was MILFy.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:32 pm | Edited by: Jack Stands
 
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:33 pm
 
I was in either cub scouts or boy scouts. I really don't remember. But I do remember that I got 2nd in the pinewood derby practice, then completely FORGOT about the real race and the kid that beat me was sick. I could have won! My memory was just as good back then as it is now, I guess. I'm surprised I remember that story...
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:36 pm
 
pear-shaped
Drivers Ed - I didn't even know the guy was a teacher
porn
His wife was MILFy.

Was this dude an alcoholic, because you just described my driver's ed teacher?

Who knew teaching driving got you babes.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:43 pm
 
Somebody mentioned camping in Arkansas. Anyone go to Camp Pioneer in (I think) Foreman Arkansas? Pretty sure it's in the Caddo hills or something. It was pretty big and I went every year for arounf 3 years. That's where most of the shit went down. Still got my complimentary ball cap. God that was fun! I can still taste the cheese eggs.

My dad was the hobo dinner king.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:45 pm
 
I'm not sure - probably! He'd lie in a hammock while his wife would mow the lawn in a skimpy outfit. They didn't have any kids. Mr. Clark. He'd make us go back around corners when there were chicks walking around so he could see whichever side he missed. Musta been 350 pounds. My driving partner Neil was the biggest doof in school (we didn't get to pick our partners) and one time he smashed the car dead-on into a snowbank. No damage, but Mr. Clark told Neil he was a dumbass and wouldn't let him drive for the rest of the practice session.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:46 pm
 
I used to watch Neil's expressions in the rearview mirror from the back seat when he drove. He always had an open bug-catcher mouth (w/ braces) and a glassy look in his eyes, and it always cracked me up.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:47 pm
 
Anyone go to Camp Pioneer in (I think) Foreman Arkansas?
For Summer camp, we always did Kia Kima in Ark. and whatever that one was on the Tennessee river in TN; Buffalo, or something?.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:49 pm
 
I was in Cubs and Boy Scouts from grades 3 to 6. Don't ask me how it worked, I just didn't want to be in Guides (Canadian version of Girl Scouts) and I guess they didn't know how to say "no" without sounding like jerks. I wasn't the only girl, either.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:49 pm
 
Ours every year was Bear Paw in the WI northwoods. We'd always hike & camp one night up Staff Mountain, which was made primarily out of flint, so once it got dark we'd skip rocks across the ground and watch 'em spark. We always tried to start a fire with flint sparks, but I never saw anyone accomplish this feat.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:50 pm | Edited by: Jack Stands
 
Speaking of which, hey tricknee!
I remembert there was one of those "High Adventure" camps in North Wisconsin, or something. Did you ever go to that?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:50 pm
 
There were always a few girls in Boy Scout jamoree-things, and they got tortured like Lisa Simpson at that military school. Their defense was that girl scouts "never did anything except sell cookies."
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:53 pm
 
I'm not sure - probably!

You would've known. This guy drank while teaching...
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:56 pm
 
Things scouting introduced to me:

D&D
Bad Metal
Smoking
Troll Sex
Pyrotechnics
Martial Arts with wooden objects
Money laundering
Fertilizer salesmanship
Hypothermia
Sexual orientation sensitivity
B&E
Acid
Lobbying
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:57 pm
 
For Summer camp, we always did Kia Kima in Ark. and whatever that one was on the Tennessee river in TN; Buffalo, or something?.
ditto.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 7:57 pm
 
oh yeah, my Scout troop - which was located on the airbase and mostly made up of army brats - came in dead last at a competition camp during my last year, and our leader "Baloo" (who was a real hard-ass military French-Canadian guy with a moustache) got super angry, and screamed at us. Apparently, we were a disgrace to Lord Baden-Powell's (founder of Scouts Canada) legacy or something. Then we got lost after he made us pack out of the woods on our own and a search team had to be dispatched after it got dark. I also got caught french kissing a boy on that trip. I thought Baloo was gonna hit me.


DYB DYB DYB, indeed.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:00 pm
 
Lord Baden-Powell's (founder of Scouts Canada)

Founder of all scouts, actually...
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:01 pm | Edited by: Crystal Lake
 
Their defense was that girl scouts "never did anything except sell cookies."

that's 'cause it's true! I learned how to start a fire with two sticks and some moss! I also learned the Heimlich Maneuver which came in handy when my little sister almost choked to death on a Scotch mint a couple of years later.

on another camping trip, I was attacked by a wild pheasant on my way to the outhouse. I still bear the scars - physical AND emotional.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:01 pm
 
Founder of all scouts, actually...

well, there you go. you learn something new every day.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:01 pm
 
Buffalo, or something?.
ditto.


At that camp, I won the "hold your breath underwater" competition.
That was before I started smoking, though...
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:03 pm
 
One November, we had a cabin campout Michigan. That same winter, Jack Kevorkian used the same cabin to help his 2nd and 3rd patients end their lives. 60 Minutes or 20/20 did a piece Kevorkian, and he showed the cameras where the two individuals died. Watching it I realized that I slept in the same cot as one of the women that died.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:06 pm
 
Crystal, how exactly does a pheasant attack?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:14 pm
 
well, first it starts approaching you in a zig-zag pattern so you can't walk around it.

then it starts making this guttural hissing noise and its eyes get all squinty.

then it jumps up in the air, digs its talons into your shins (this is where the scars come in), to get the extra foot of height required to violently flap its wings on your head and peck at your face and hands. Keep in mind that I was 11 years old and about 4'3", so it was a little more intimidating than it would be now... I couldn't pull it off of me.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 8:17 pm
 
Dang.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:05 pm
 
I guess I was a "late bloomer" cause some of the older dudes were known to be smoking the reefer and consuming other substances on campouts but at that time I thought they were total madmen. I wasn't the biggest candy-ass of the bunch by any means though. For example, there was the country boy whose hobby was making dresses for Mrs. Butterworth bottles.

I do wonder what happened to some of those folks though like the heavy-metal kid with the long red hair, camo pants, and those buckskin boots with the fringe on top, and that real fat kid.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:10 pm
 
I've been to Bear Paw before fer scouting. We had no girls anywhere I ever was with scouts that I can remember, and it seems like I would definately remember something like that. I also never got introduced to drugs or alchohol or anything cool that through scouting. I supppose if anything I would have had to have been the one to introduce the other kids. I did used to dub kids Dead Kennedys tapes. One of the kids I was in scouts with used to beat the shit out of me all the time, but outside of school and scouts he would actually be pretty cool to me. I used to steal my dad's porn and trade it to him for Nintendo games. He would "borrow" his brothers hip-hop records and let me take 'em home and I'd dub them off him. I'd make him DK tapes too, which he was vaguely interested in because they had swearing in the lyrics. I ended up leaving scouts before anyone was into drugs or anything like that. I was eleven years old when I stopped and it was mainly because my scoutmaster thought I was a satanist and did not approve of the fact that I had visited Russia and essentially just said it was fair game to beat the shit out of me since I was a traitor and a heretic... not that anyone ever needed his permission to do it before. I was already getting my ass beat daily at school, having it happen at extra-curricular activities too seemed a bit much.

I ended up moving to Russia shortly after that anyway where I was introduced to hard drugs, alchohol, the criminal underground and started defining myself more and more as a "punk." There the punk kids I knew would wear Pioneer garb, which was also my first introduction to irony, which worked alot better over there than it seems to here. There irony was actually pretty smart, here it's totally retarded and the lowest common denominator.

When I came back to the states I wasn't really interested in getting back into scouting or going camping with a bunch of douchebags since I was running away, living on the streets, going to basement shows and then crashing in the women's restrooms at the park.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:13 pm
 
women's restrooms at the park.
do they smell any better than the mens?
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:20 pm
 
I was an Eagle simply for the fact that it was the only way my parents would let me quit. I really didn't like it at all, but some of the hiking/canoeing/camping stuff was alright. Our Troop was hardcore into that stuff, so we did some interesting ones.

I was Senior Patrol Leader for awhile; I don't remember anything about it really, except we did ok in some jamboree competition. We pretty much had our shit together when it came to camping. After that, I hardly showed up to meetings or anything else and just focused on getting it done, so I'd never have to do anything related to Scouting again. I remember one time we had to march down the main street of our town in some parade. I just kept my eyes down the whole time, hoping no one who knew me would recognize me.

Sometimes I wonder if my son will want to do it; I really don't want any part of it. Most of the dads in it gave me the creeps as a kid. But, I suppose, there are some redeeming aspects in it. A kid's got to have stuff to do.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:21 pm
 
do they smell any better than the mens?

That's why I always slept in the women's. The men's bathroom would always have a big turd in the middle of the floor and reek of piss. The women's bathrooms were always pretty clean. I'd just sleep sitting up on the toilet leaning up against the wall.

A few years ago I didn't have any place to sleep for some reason. I don't remember what the deal was, but I walked the four and half miles from GB to this park I'd always crash at (that's how far I'd have to walk after shows to sleep there too) and I went into the women's bathroom to crash and there was still graffiti in the stall from when I was fourteen years old. I used to sleep in the bushes in that park to sometimes during the summer. The first time I ever slept in that park I didn't think about using the bathroom, or was afraid to try it at least and it was pouring down rain. It's pretty hard to sleep in an inch of mud and water while water pours from the sky, even if you have some leaves as protection.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:22 pm
 
women's restrooms at the park.
do they smell any better than the mens?



Yeah - My first lay was in one.
hookorcrook
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:24 pm
 
me. it was fun when i lived in the desert from 5-10 but when my folks moved to San Diego it was like the junior ROTC with all the military dads as scoutmasters telling endless stories of killing gooks in Nam. I quit.

Early on though it was fun, cub scouts was fun, we used to sing Dead Milkmen songs on hikes, I learned the words to most of the songs from Big Lizard in my Backyeard in 4th grade before i ever heard the album.

high point: i got the medal of merit for doing the heimlich maneuver on my little sister while she was choking on a quarter. unfortunately there was never a cartoon made of it in the back of Boy's Life.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:27 pm | Edited by: Windy
 
women's restrooms at the park.
do they smell any better than the mens?


no

i guess i just get the shitty bathrooms. the toilets are always overflowed and there are always "products" lying around
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:29 pm
 
unfortunately there was never a cartoon made of it in the back of Boy's Life.

HA!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:32 pm
 
women's restrooms at the park.
do they smell any better than the mens?

no


I would have to agree. On one hiking trip, we happened upon this 12 seater outhouse: 6 guys, 6 girls. That night, we had the bright idea of lowering a lantern down the hole to check it out. The women's side, by far, was the most disgusting and unusual site. Then we dropped a lit flashlight and left.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:42 pm
 
i got the medal of merit for doing the heimlich maneuver on my little sister while she was choking on a quarter.

high five!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:44 pm
 
Robin - are you talking about the winter camp deals? I went to one of those...it was the snowbank & tarp thing I mentioned many words ago. Pretty intense. Had to use snowshoes to get anywhere, and it was a long damn walk away from anywhere. All I wanted to do was be near the fire. It was seriously below 10 degrees during the day & below zero at night. Even as a kid that was horrible. You had to sleep with your clothes in your sleeping bag so they'd be warm in the morning, otherwise you could freeze to death or something.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:46 pm
 
Hang on, Todd. I'll find it. I've had my Handbook out for two days now...

one sec...
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:54 pm
 
Check mid-page on both pages...

http://www.thesonsabitches.com/music/bs/camp.jpg
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 9:59 pm
 
I have to say that I don't remember for sure, but I think it was - it was considered a "special deal" to go to it, and I know that people went there from all over the country (not that I saw a single person I didn't come there with for the whole weekend). I dunno, to me it was just cold and snowy and remote and packed with evergreens. That's some high adventure!
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 10:40 pm
 
Universal scouting truths:

fuck with any snakes you encounter, dead or alive
set anything/anyone you can on fire
strange dad competition/dick measuring

The two troops I did time in were really bad at the whole thing. I don't think we ever hiked for more than five miles without complaining about it enough that someone's dad just went back and got the van and drove us somewhere; I don't really remember ever getting any kind of decent instruction; it was mostly just car camping complete with ice coolers and propane stoves.

The summer camps were kinda ok, mostly because no one from my troops were really involved in running it. I remember going on something at El Rancho Cima somewhere in TX called the Death March, but it was more disappointing than the OA initiation. The patch with the skull was pretty cool though.
Posted: Jan 10, 2007 10:45 pm
 
At one point I was really into the "City of Lead and Gold" comics that were in every issue of Boy's Life. I think that thing ran the entire time I was in scouts from Cub to Life without repeating.
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 2:09 am
 
Founder of all scouts, actually...

you mean 'fondeler'
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 2:09 am
 
did i spell that right?
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 2:11 am
 
made it to star scout. lots of backpacking, rappeling, frezzing in winter, fires EVERYWHERE, indoctrination...
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 2:21 am
 
fondle
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 2:59 am
 
Nice try, Arman. Trying to throw us off your trail by claiming not to know how to spell fondle? Puh-leeze.
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 5:00 am
 
The "Klondike Derby" winter camping trips were idiotic! I can't remember which was the more practical method to get a "comfortable" nights sleep; trying to break up the frozen snow mold of your body every night, or merely fitting back into the frozen mold by attempting to lay in the exact same position.

When I first started going to the local punk shows in high school, I didn't know anyone and certainly didn't wear anything remotely close to cool--acid wash jeans and whatever my Mom got for me---but I thought I was really clever to wear the ol' Boy Scout shirt/uniform. Yep. I believe I also bought/procured some cigars for my first show. Kids do the darnedest things!
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 5:55 am
 
I was a Cub Scout and almost entered the rank of Webelo.

I had won the Pinewood Derby (those little cars that you sent down the ramp, not to be confused with the big Soapbox Derby cars) with the famed Vercauteren "wedge car." This made me stay in the scouts for another year. It all ended when I failed to defend my championship (finished a disappointed second). That year everyone showed up with slick little race cars with graphite spread all over' em'. Fucking cheaters. I quit the scouts the next day, never to become a Webelo, even...

I wish I still had my derby trophies. Even the second place one...
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 5:59 am
 
While at scout camp on Cedar Lake near Kiel, WI, our row boat manned by Matt Deeley, Eli Shaver, Jesse Shuknecht and myself managed to venture beyond the allowed distance from camp. We managed to lose an oar and go around in circles until we reached a raft across from someone's vacation cabin. On that raft was a shot glass full of vodka. That was the first time I ever tasted liquor.
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 6:04 am
 
Scoutknee, is the Bear Paw camp on Bear Paw Lake?
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 12:06 pm
 
I was a scout in school. On a camp some fat fuck filled a plastic bag with smoke from a fire, and emptied it into my sleeping bag whilst I was asleep.
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 3:45 pm
 
At one point I was really into the "City of Lead and Gold" comics that were in every issue of Boy's Life.

BBBRRAAYYY!!!
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 4:51 pm
 
Scoutknee, is the Bear Paw camp on Bear Paw Lake?


Yup!

Forgot about Klondike Derby, Jesus.
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 6:15 pm
 
I drew up a mighty fine Cub Car plan but my mum couldn't help me make it, so my friend's dad built it for me... except I'm pretty sure he deliberately made it suck (he ignored my design and just cut that block of wood in half diagonally to make the wedge, then nailed those wheels on) while making his son's all souped up and awesome, with a weighted nose and everything - is that even legal? His son won the competition and I lost. Mine did have a pretty fine horse-themed paint job, though.
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 7:29 pm
 
donkey scouts
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 10:21 pm
 
they don't have merit badges in the cub scouts.
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 10:36 pm
 
kinda, they're more like ranks.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 4:03 am
 
Up in Nebraska we would have this place called "The Huts," where we'd camp about this time of year. I mean, below zero. A hut consisted of a grave-sized pit you'd dig. Then you'd build a fire in it, burn it down to a bed of coals, cover the coals with dirt, and throw a tarp over it. Sounded great to your inner survivalist until you actually did it, and the heat would cause steam to rise up out of the soil as you slept, water dripping off the damn tarps, and you'd wake up freezing. Also fun was when the older sadists came 'round shoving burning branches into your hut so as to catch your sleeping bag on fire. But the best part was the next morning, after a sleep-deprived night, when we'd all gather round ye olde campfire to slurp instant hot chocolate and listen to the scout master preach to us from the Book of Revelations! The locusts descending. The moon melting out of the sky. That shit scared me witless at age 11-12-13. It sounds more like something you'd get down here in Dixie, but I guess bible thumping knows no borders.

On the up side, we did do some very cool canoe trips in these funky "kayaks" we made ourselves, using wood frames and painted canvas.

But to me Boy Scouts mostly means the burning embers of Judgement Day at the Huts.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 5:32 am
 
women's restrooms at the park.
did anyone catch The Office tonight? genius scene with Carell using the female rr because the men's room was too dirty...

Pinewood Derby
at Christmas this year, my mama had all three of my brother's racers under the tree among the presents. My niece had fun flinging em across the kitchen floor. I think he made some of em in Indian Guides, before joining the Cub Scouts.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 6:22 am
 
You're being narrated to by a former We-blow. We met in the basement of my elementary school; I don't remember getting to do any outdoor shit. We had to make a car for the Pine Wood Derby; that was the biggest pain in the ass ever. Total homo shit. I was more of an O.M/GATE man, myself. At least you were around gurls.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 6:58 am
 
they don't have merit badges in the cub scouts.
No, but, they had those awesome things you got to put on your belt.
http://www.scoutstuff.org/BSASupply/ItemDetail.aspx?ctlg=05NDC&ctgy=PR ODUCTS&c2=UNIFORMS&C3=UACCESSORIES&C4=&LV=3&item=008SPROG#
Never did get to fill mine up.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 3:18 pm
 
I don't remeber those. I remember that thing you wore on your shirt that had strings to which you would apply beads after completing some kinda whatever.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 4:05 pm
 
I vaguely remember that, but I think I only had that in Tigers. Had the belt in the arly 90s, nowhere near as many individual ones available now on the BSA website as there were back then.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 5:09 pm | Edited by: Boots Electric
 
I was a Cub Scout and a Boy Scout as all Mormon youth are pretty much required to be. I however was the laziest scout ever, I was tenderfoot for the longest time, and only really advanced to second class because my dad used to be a scout master, so he could sign my shit off, I was second class for about two years until we moved to Saudi Arabia, tried it for two more years, never progressed, then gave up, after putting 4 other boys through the program my parents didn't really care.

I remember trying to make the Order Of The Arrow kids talk by asking if they were gay, and that it was okay if they have no comment, I would accept their lifestyle anyways.

I still have my Boy Scout Uniform from Saudi with all the local patches and shit on it, I wear it on Laundry Days.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 5:34 pm
 
boots where are you from?
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 5:37 pm
 
THE MORMONS ARE TRYING TO GATHER!!!

EVERYBODY PANIC!!!
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 6:13 pm
 
There were definitely badges to earn when I was a Cub.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 7:21 pm
 
Once, our troop went on this fucking 12-mile hike around the Pea Ridge, Arkansas National Military Park. By the time we'd finished, rumors had circulated that Kenny had shit hisself.

Kenny was a Mexican troublemaker whose mother was a fine-ass Latina Spitfire, whose pussy hairs came out the legs of her short running shorts when she sat down or did stretches.

I thought everyone was bullshitting about Kenny having shit hisself; but, when I confronted him, he went shithouse: "FUCK YOU! I BET YOU FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!"

Christ, Kenny, just wipe your ass.

I was kind of a panty-waist but by buddy, Chris, was a little bastard child who fucked up or torched everything he could get his hands on. My favorite was when we used to go "Yogi Bearin'" -- ya know, looking for campsites where the inhabitants had gone swimming for a couple hours, and going through their pic-a-nic baskets looking for goodies. I guess I would have been that little pussy who bellyached and whined the entire time but, when he got back to camp, bragged about having stolen some taffy.

But I still wonder what some family would have thought if they returned to their campsite to find two Boy Scouts rifling through their beer cooler...
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 7:45 pm | Edited by: deadcityrebel
 
EVERYBODY PANIC!!!

oh, come on, you know we aren't gonna try anything.

But I still wonder what some family would have thought if they returned to their campsite to find two Boy Scouts rifling through their beer cooler...

"hello canteen boy..."
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 7:47 pm
 
STAY AWAY FROM MY CAFFINE!!!
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 7:51 pm
 
Christ, Kenny, just wipe your ass.


On another canoe trip, some of us would get out of the canoe and just float alongside in life jackets. Not sure why. One kid got away from his canoe and dog-paddled over to me, but kept looking around wildly in all directions. He whispered in all seriousness, "Hey, man. Hey. Does shit float?"

I got back in the canoe immediately.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 8:03 pm
 
STAY AWAY FROM MY CAFFINE!!!
i got my own, baby, you got nothin to worry about.

*in my best barry white voice*
you wanna hear a message about jesus and families don't you? i know you do. don't be shy. i'll come over next tuesday and bring some of my friends. cool guys, i think you'll like them.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 8:05 pm
 
Come to my house, and I'm stealling you and your partner's bike. Probably your ties, too.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 8:07 pm | Edited by: deadcityrebel
 
you can keep the ties, and the book. we'll need the bikes to get to our next appointment. (dinner)
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 8:16 pm
 
Deadcity, I'm from a bunch of places, my dad worked for an evil conservative oil industry when I was a kid, so I moved around a lot, the last couple years I've been in Texas though, Dallas for a while, but now Odessa, I take the drive and wander between Austin, Denton and Dallas whenever a show good enough for the drive comes in.

Cub scouts though, I believe the only little belt loops I had were for shooting things, like the marksmen one and archery and junk like that. It's amazing how quick you can forget the scout motto.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 10:04 pm
 
On my honor, I will do my best
to help all girlscouts to undress


Duh!
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 10:25 pm
 
anyone go to millington naval base for the thing they had there? we used to sneak off and hang out by the jets.
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 10:28 pm
 
No but did the weird, historical city-hike in Raliegh
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 10:36 pm
 
like no woods, just streets?

"this, guys, is where clarence washington got shot by ornell maccabee for cheating at a dice game. see the blood stains? those are real. you just didn't fuck with the maccabees in those days."
Posted: Jan 12, 2007 10:58 pm | Edited by: Fern
 
OK, who burned shit, with what and with what results?


Government blames Boy Scouts for wildfire

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah (AP) -- The federal government argued that Boy Scouts playing with fire caused a 14,200-acre wildfire and wants a judge to hold them responsible, allowing officials to seek damages.

i went to about 3 cub scouts meetings in suburabn columbia, sc. it sucked so i didnt go back.
Posted: Jan 13, 2007 7:50 am
 
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah (AP)
don't look at me
Posted: Jan 14, 2007 6:04 pm
 
I made Eagle, my parents wouldn't let me quit until I did. The guy who I had my ceremony with now works for the Bush administration in D.C. He was a real prick. But a lot of funny stories from the scouts usually have to do with him torturing other scouts.

Nothing gayer in scouts than the Atomic Sit-up.
Posted: Jan 14, 2007 10:06 pm
 
atomic spit ups
Posted: Jan 16, 2007 8:19 pm
 
My parents said I could quit when I earned my Eagle Scout.

I was the youngest Eagle Scout in my troop's history.

It wasn't terrible, but I don't exactly have fond memories of scouting, either. I was the only kid in my grade in the troop. I either had to take shit from my older brother and his friends or hang out with the younger kids.
Posted: Jan 16, 2007 8:21 pm
 
I went to a cub scouts meeting one time...It was really lame and I never went back.
Posted: Jan 16, 2007 10:17 pm
 
Tommy Trouble and Sambeaux, our parents need to get together.
Posted: Jan 17, 2007 1:39 am
 
off topic but THE LAST BOY SCOUT fucking rules. the hitler of action movies.
Posted: Jan 18, 2007 3:30 am
 
THE LAST BOY SCOUT

You gotta hit 'em with a surfboard and then say "surfs up pal!"
Posted: Jan 18, 2007 4:09 am
 
Late to this game.

I was a Brownie for two years and refused to go Girl Scouts. I only liked it for the snacks after school.
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