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Goner Message Board / ???? / I am the Alarm
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:47 am
It's true.
What time is it? Oh, fuck.


Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:48 am
Get up you lazy shit.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:49 am
It's nearly 5.00am- as your grandpa used to say, them cows won't milk themselves.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:50 am
That snooze button- well, you can push it, but it will just make me angry.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:51 am
Dear Penthouse Forum,
this morning- very early- I was in Brad's bedroom. Well, imagine my surprise when bbbrrrinnnggg!bbbrrrinnnggg!bbbrrrinnnggg!
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:52 am
I can do clock radio too, you know, oh yes.
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:55 am | Edited by: I am the Alarm
Let's cross live to Cathy in the Eye In The Sky chopper for a bird's eye view of this morning's traffic.
Thanks, Steve. Well, all major east-west routes are flowing pretty well this morning, after that petrol spill on intersection 15 got cleaned up overnight. Morning commuters...

Enough, helicopter lady, I've proved my point.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:57 am
I can do fire alarm too, if I have to.
Burglar alarm? No, not really my line.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:00 am
It's a crappy job, but if you are late again they will fire you . C'mon, get up.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:00 am | Edited by: I am the Alarm
There are no eggs for breakfast, just coffee. And cereal. Start your day right.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:02 am
But there's no milk. Have the coffee black, put warm water on the cereal, then go shower.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:04 am
Sometimes I wish I could get off the bedside table and kiss you gently while you sleep. But sometimes, I just wish you would get your lazy ass out of bed.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:06 am
Those cellphones have alarms too these days, but they just don't keep it real, know what I'm sayin'?
I'm not a hater, but old Mr Nokia, Ms Motorola, they come over here and put a LOT of my buddies out of work. It's hard.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:08 am | Edited by: I am the Alarm
You know at 5.10am I'm off for the day? Why the fuck did you set an alarm for 5.00am anyway? Were you really planning to go jogging this morning? I don't think so, I saw how drunk you were when you fell into the cot at 1.03am. Yes it was so 1.03am, don't try and tell me what time it was.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:10 am

Last call.
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:14 am | Edited by: I am the Alarm
Alarm OUT. bbbrrr....!
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:37 am
Ape, when I go off it means it's your bedtime.
Go pass out on the sofa.
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:38 am
Or get up. I don't care. I go off anyway.
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:40 am
Just don't dribble on your wife's shoulder, she hates that. I see the way she edges away from you in the night.
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 12:25 pm
the fire alarm is ringing as I write
what a pain
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 6:02 pm
I just heard you in my office while I typed this. You're everywhere. Wow!
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 6:28 pm
68 guns, your battle cry
68 guns will never die
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 9:36 pm | Edited by: I am the Alarm
Arm- meet Alarm.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:02 pm
Great. Now what?
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:18 pm
the universe collapses?
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:19 pm
Depends what time it is

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:32 pm
has hell frozen over yet?
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:35 pm
the nerve
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:38 pm | Edited by: I am the Alarm
Hey, pal, I go off when I'm told to.
You got no job to go to today, and your ebay shit is all still there. What's the problem?

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:55 pm
Don't buy a new alarm with all that loot, you don't need one. I'll try harder, honest.

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:56 pm
Hey, I just noticed there's a guy here with a name very similar to mine. What's the story?
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:58 pm
Is that AM or PM?
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:00 pm
An ape and a clock walk into a bar...

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:04 pm
ask Funnygayname
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:04 pm
bbbrrrinnnggg!bbbrrrinnnggg! bbbrrrinnnggg!bbbrrrinnnggg! bbbrrrinnnggg!bbbrrrinnnggg! bbbrrrinnngadingadingdong!
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:05 pm
stop it, Kathy.
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:09 pm | Edited by: I am the Alarm
Who's Kathy?

Posted: Jan 4, 2007 11:11 pm
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:13 am
Jeez, Arm, first I steal your watch, now you're having trouble with a clock?
Get a sundial.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:18 am
What the hell does this have to do with 68 Guns?
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:19 am
I don't have time for any of this.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:20 am
That wasn't me. I didn't get up that early.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:22 am
I don't have time for any of this.

I'll second that.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:24 am
What the hell does this have to do with 68 Guns?

I'll second that.

I think I know who it is, gaylamename.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:30 am
I think I know who it is, gaylamename.


Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:41 am
I wasn't talking to you, plastic pocket pussy.

I was talking to gaylamename.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:45 am
Sounds like your getting ticked off with all this.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:48 am | Edited by: dale
"Come on down and meet your maker"

How many other bands have wrote songs based on a Stephen King book...and do they all sound like U2?
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:53 am
What are we talking about here, Dale? You lost me a bit ago.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:54 am
I thought this was some thread about the band called the Alarm.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:54 am
What are we talking about here, Dale? You lost me a bit ago.

Posted: Jan 5, 2007 12:56 am
I don't think so. Read it again...The whole thing takes about 3 minutes to read. Unless you're you. In that case just forget it.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 1:01 am
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 1:08 am
Thanks, Dale...That really made me uh....Uhh....it really uh...did you read this shit yet?
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 1:10 am
I did but I thought maybe it was some non-American humor and I just didn't get it.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 1:11 am
I dunno...I'm bored and tired. Do you care?
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 1:13 am
Look at some porn...Maybe that'll cheer you up.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 1:32 am
Stroh's? You know that shit was originally made in Detroit but is hard to find in some parts of the state nowadays. Doesn't G. Heilman or somebody make it now?
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 2:03 am
Rolling Rock.
Sam Adams.

Posted: Jan 5, 2007 2:04 am
Wake up and have a breakfast beer.
Have a beer and go to bed.
I don't care.

Posted: Jan 5, 2007 2:38 am
You sure have had some energy today, I am the Alarm...What's in your diet that made you so damn peppy since 5am this morning?
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 2:39 am
2 Duracells in my back.

Posted: Jan 5, 2007 3:40 am
i think for sure the alarm is non american

why? ya hear an accent in them thar bbbrrrinnnggg!bbbrrrinnnggg's?
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 6:17 am
I am Mark Arm.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 6:26 am
Posted: Jan 6, 2007 12:57 am
Sorry I'm late this morning, had a rough night.
Anyways: bbbrrrinnnggg!bbbrrrinnnggg!bbbrrrinnnggg!bbbrrrinnnggg!
Posted: Jan 6, 2007 1:01 am
I am the Alarm = Mark Beef
Posted: Jan 6, 2007 1:02 am
Posted: Jan 6, 2007 1:02 am

Howa about josh?
Posted: Jan 7, 2007 1:11 am
I am the Alarm = Mark Beef
Howa about josh?

Who are these people?

Posted: Jan 7, 2007 1:11 am
Posted: Jan 7, 2007 2:13 am
cock a doodle doo!
Posted: Jan 7, 2007 2:15 am
Benjo Mushi
Posted: Jan 7, 2007 2:20 am
cock a doodle doo!

What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker?

A rooster sez, "Cock a doodle doo"
A hooker sez, " Any cock'll do"...
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 12:08 pm
The Arm left me behind- can someone in St. Louis give him a shake?
He's got a big family thing on today, I'm worried he's gonna be late.

bbbrrrinnnggg!bbbrrrinnnggg! bbbrrrinnnggg!bbbrrrinnnggg!
Posted: Jan 11, 2007 4:54 pm
Hollywood flake.
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