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Goner Message Board / ???? / A Little Kid Just Tried To Spare Change Me!
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:13 pm
 
A block away from my fucking house on my way here to post. This was no Tiny Tim in crutches holding a tin cup,he was carrying a bag of groceries!

I used to be more compassionate about The Homeless,but shit like this really pisses me off. I don't have a heart of ice but it was pretty obvious he didn't actually need the money. I get spare changed so often here in Portland that i don't even bother to respond anymore,i just ignore them as i tally the amount of times i'm hit up by these people in my head.

Maybe it's a WestCoast thing,but do any of you folks have to deal w/ this kinda shit in other cities? I know the answer to that is yes,but to what degree? It really bugs me that an impressionable kid would pick this up as acceptable behavior... a new low.

As usual,Head said it best: "They used to call 'em bums..."
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:15 pm
 
There was a dirty scabby bum on the train this morning who told everybody he had AIDS and needed food so I tossed my breakfast bar at him. I think you know him as Heir Lick.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:17 pm
 
I've been hit up by little kids before. I had a dude hitting me up the other day and he had on nicer clothes than me plus he had a mp3 player. I was like fuck you buddy...
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:18 pm
 
joe, you're not alone. those spare change people are everywhere.

bazooka - and other NYers.... i noticed over the several years i rode the subway to work that some people's JOB was begging. if you take the train at the same time, do you notice the same beggars and panhandlers? the blind guy who sings "ain't too proud to beg" on the 1,2,3 --- that sort of thing
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:19 pm
 
I still call 'em bums. Just the other day coming around an offramp in San Francisco I almost killed one who was pushing his cart full-o'-crap down the very middle of the road toward me. I couldn't let it slide 'cause it was ridiculous, so I yelled "get the fuck outta the road you fucking bum!" It felt good.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:26 pm
 
Willie, you remeber Louie? He once gave some beggar an apple and saw the guy throw it away. Ever since then he was a total bum hater.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:27 pm
 
shoot some bums with paint balls guns is fun
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:28 pm
 
The drag in Austin is the absolute worst for this. Maybe the crusties wouldn't have to ask for change if they stopped buying so many Crass and Subhumans patches.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:31 pm
 
crusties

"How much did those shitty tattoos cost?"
"Why don't you sell your piercings?"
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:32 pm
 
this is like the "BABY SELLING DRUGS ON THE CORNER" Dave Chapelle stand-up..

"Hey Baby! what the fuck you doin out here so late?!"

"I'm sellin' weed NIGGA!"
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:32 pm
 
"The drag in Austin" reminded me of State Street in Madison, only not as bad. Another crustie hangout - downtown Minneapolis. And I remember seeing a lot in New Orleans years back, but that's probably no longer the case.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:34 pm
 
Homeless Crashers/ I knooow where it's at.
Homeless Crashers/Fall asleep on the floor, wake up, get your toe bitten by a rat.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:36 pm
 
downtown Minneapolis

Don't forget Palmer's...
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:37 pm
 
Everyone has colored hair in Minneapolis! Even insurance salesmen! It's so punk rock! Holy shit! (I'm actually not kidding - I blame Felix Havoc)
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:40 pm
 
only not as bad

Most of my friends who have toured through Madison loathe it. I'll take this as one more reason I'm glad my wife turned down a job offer there a few years ago.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:41 pm
 
madison..... FUCKING SUCK YEAH!
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:53 pm
 
Dave Chapelle stand-up..

"i started feelin bad so i said 'baby, stop sellin weed, you got your whole life ahead of you"

"then he shouted back: nigga i got kids to feed!!"
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:54 pm
 
I consider it a cool place to visit and a shitty place to live, unless you like soft-headed crusty hippies surrounded by obnoxious frat-dudes. Great book stores, good food, beautiful city, but I couldn't take living there.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 7:56 pm
 
The drag in Austin is ground zero for crusty punk bums spare changing. Sound Exchange closed down a few years ago, so I don't really go down there at all anymore but it is a huge pain in the ass to deal with these douche bag kids who are slumming it for a few years. They are always completely rude when you don't have anything to give them.

I knew one of these kids a few years ago who would hop trains, spare change, couch surf, etc.. It turns out his parents were filthy rich. It seems like this is the story for quite a few of 'em. They live out their anarchist punk lifestyle fantasy and when they've had enough they go home to their parent and collect their inheritance.

The legit homeless in Austin hang out under highway overpasses and highway exit roads.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 8:08 pm
 
I saw a funny exchange in San Francisco when I was there visiting. These two white crusty punk kids were on the corner of the street spare changing, drinking 40s, smoking joints, and going out of their way to terrify the tourist types. This elderly black homeless guy who "owned" the corner goes up to them and had them pegged. "You're too pretty to be homeless!" They got all defensive before cowering off muttering about how he was "racist".
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 8:31 pm
 
I got as pretty good radar for telling when I'm about to be pinched up.....so as i catch 'em coming at me, before they can open their mouth, I ask THEM for a dollar.....it fucks their head right up
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 8:34 pm
 
The little kid thing...it is vacation from school, man. Kids running the streets of Portland, doing things. Monkey see, monkey do.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 8:39 pm
 
Monkey pee all over you!
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 8:49 pm
 
crusties

"How much did those shitty tattoos cost?"
"Why don't you sell your piercings?"


i had a roommate in brooklyn back in 87 who had the best thick brooklyn accent and would ask this of bums. it was fantastic.


He once gave some beggar an apple and saw the guy throw it away.

when i first worked in times square 87/88 and it was still scuzzy, when i'd go out to lunch, i'd take "to go" the bread & butter from the basket that we didn't touch, and often 1/2 sandwiches that we didn't touch and offered it to the bums. they didn't want them. outright rejected them.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 8:57 pm
 
I had a crusty hassle me in Austin...I was in the park eatin' a sammich (a veggie sammich at that) and this crusty, Crass backpatch having dipshit scumbag walked past me and said "meat is murder" all self-righteous like, he musta thought I was eating a meat sandwich...I just said "fuck you, where did ya get those Doc Marten's? The leather tree?" He got rougish and started to come over to me, I stood up, and when his friend realized I had a foot and half on him, his friend pulled him away...I just laughed. fuck crusty punks.
I used to work door/security at this club in texas and whenever we would have shows those fucks like to frequent, they always would say shit like "All I have is two dollars, can I get in"? Then get all self-righteous and say dumb shit about capitalism. I loved not letting them in, absolutely loved it....they chose their stupid lifestyle....no sympathy.

The best way to thwart bums is to ask them for money before they can ask you...they wont hassle you then, they are too busy thinking "WTF"?
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 9:05 pm
 
yeah, as much as i love some of those kids, i hate most of the rest of them. their revolution stopped being potent about 20 years ago. no new ideas in a long long time. and most of them are middle class snots.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 9:06 pm
 
The best way to thwart bums is to ask them for money before they can ask you...they wont hassle you then, they are too busy thinking "WTF"?

an australian guy i know uses this tactic... only he adds to it "i'm new to earth and am looking for some earth money. can you help me out?" - the ozzie accent is a really great touch.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 9:30 pm
 
"you remeber Louie? He once gave some beggar an apple and saw the guy throw it away."

Yeah, of course I remeber him. He showed up out of the blue on myspace (lol) a while back and we caught up a bit.
There was this guy outside the deli on 9th Ave and 46th St, where I used to get my coffee, who would never ask for money, always for food. He'd take the food and put it in a bag. I had to find out what the deal was one day 'cause I knew somethin' was funny about it. I talked to him for a good five minutes and got him to admit to me that he was part of a four man team that worked hells kitchen; he got the food while the other three got the money for weed, booze and crack.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 10:39 pm
 
I have been forced to conclude that I have a "charitable" countenance.


Of the handful of "big cities" I've been to, San Francisco was the worst for panhandlers. I once walked down the street for a bottle of apple juice; got hit up outside the store and gave up some change; then got hit up again a few paces later: I said, "I ain't got nothing but this fuckin' juice! You want it?!" He did; I gave it to him.


Go to London, the indigents are actually polite!


I lived near a park in Washington, DC, so I was guaranteed to be charged a "road toll" several times on my way to the beer shop:

Discharge Crusty: (Semi-threateningly) "You got some spare change!"

Me: (Having been hit up TWICE BEFORE at that point) "Fuck you."

Discharge Crusty: "Fuck you, I bet you ate today!"

Me: "Yeah, but I worked yesterday."

Other pedestrians actually laughed; discharge crusty was not there on the return trip.


Also in DC, I gave a beggar an uneaten, doggie-bag burrito after having dined Mexican: my girlfriend was angered because I had put a bunch-a habanero sauce on it. Hey, gift horse, ya cunt.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 11:12 pm | Edited by: Hugh Jass
 
Of the handful of "big cities" I've been to, San Francisco was the worst for panhandlers.
You have no idea! There are panhandlers in literally ever corner of the city, including in front of Pacific Heights mansions. It's a free-for-all.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 11:21 pm | Edited by: bowie
 
No one can even smoke a fuckin cigarette in Portland cause you will literally get asked by 1000 people by the time you get done smoking it if you have another one. That pisses me off. A couple days before xmas, though, I bought a homeless guy sitting outside Fred Meyer with his dog a giant bag of dog food. I felt good about that, and the guy thanked me so sincerely it brought tears to my eyes. Its nice when someone is actually THANKFUL when you give them something. I gave a woman a dollar the other day for a "hotel room", and she asked if I had any more money! I told her to give the first dollar back! She started running away, and I almost chased her down, but I had to work. Hmmmm, go figure.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 11:26 pm
 
Everyday I see the same beggin sumbitches...This one dude, Buck is his name, is always walkin super fast around my block talkin to poeple and not really begging too bad though. His hands are always way greasy like he's working on cars all day(he actually changed my tire once). He'll say "hi" and shit when I'm getting beer and cigs at the Mobil on my corner. One day I'm walking in there and he says,"hey man, loan me fity bucks. You know I'm good for it right?" I'm like "holy shit man, most people ask for a dollar...you just asked me for fity bucks. That's alot man...How bout a cig? Here. Take two."
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 11:31 pm
 
At least these bums put a little effort in: URL

Otherwise, as my father once said, send them all to the Russian gulag.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 11:38 pm
 
Another time in Hollywood...I was leaving a recording session at like 6:30am and as I'm crossing the street going to starbucks, this bum tosses a starbucks bag full of bagels and brownies out in the street and is yelling at a starbucks employee(hispanic) screaming,"I don't need this shit! I ain't hungry, fuckin nigger." The coffee splashed everywhere and cars were running over the bag of food...What a dick.
Posted: Dec 29, 2006 11:46 pm | Edited by: Mark Rochambeaux
 
A couple years back, New York magazine had the "How Much Do People Make?" issue, and the cover was a collage of people and their salaries -- like Alex Rodriguez ($1.2 trillion), cop ($60,000), hedge fund manager ($50 million), maitre'd ($80,000) ... then it had panhandler ($24,000) and next to him was Jessica Coen of gawker.com ($23,000).

A peculiar begging technique I've noticed in Memphis, and I think it's more a meth-head thing, is the whole "my car just broke down and i'm headin' abck to Little Rock with my wife and my grandmother and my niece at 3 a.m. and I just need $4.37 for gas" thing.
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 12:03 am | Edited by: red eyed willie
 
"We recycle, we're conservation, we love animals and we clean the earth."
Fucking awesome. I wish my bums were like that.
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 12:34 am
 
"my car just broke down and i'm headin' abck to Little Rock with my wife and my grandmother and my niece at 3 a.m. and I just need $4.37 for gas" thing.

Seen that a buncha times...you give em money for gas and they drive out of the gas station without pumping shit. Fuckers!
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 12:41 am
 
I was coming out of the subway and a Homeless dude that looked like Bernie mac asked me for change. I said I had none. One hour later i go back in the subway and the same homeless guy stands up and said "GET A JOB!" I told him to "GET A HOUSE!" He was right though. I did need a job.
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 12:43 am | Edited by: the SLiP iTs
 
NYC- Is the "always 9 months pregnant" lady still riding the N/R for change?
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 1:16 am
 
all you fuckers are in the "haves"
and none of you are in the "Have Nots"

then again, bring back vagrancy laws
and
put those crusties in rehab with a side of molestation thearapy

I'm learning to pick pockets
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 3:03 am
 
Once, this brother came up to me for a dolla so he could get a beer and I gave it to him, cuz he was honest about it. I have also offered food to a homeless person in lieu of $$$, and she turned it down...
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 3:06 am
 
NYC- Is the "always 9 months pregnant" lady still riding the N/R for change?


she's been pregnant for years and years with the same baby
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 3:11 am
 
"my car just broke down and i'm headin' abck to Little Rock with my wife and my grandmother and my niece at 3 a.m. and I just need $4.37 for gas" thing.

Seen that a buncha times...you give em money for gas and they drive out of the gas station without pumping shit. Fuckers!


Yeah. That shit's universal. I've had people knocking on my door asking me that kind of shit too. Classic variation: "My wife needs money for her diabetes medication. She's run out, and we're desperate."

And what about the kids that come around to your house looking for sponsors for their basketball team, or money for boxes of chocolate cookies that they are never going to bring. The signatures are all the same handwriting, and the sheets look like they've been photocopied 200 times. I'll admit, I sometimes give them money, because you can tell they don't have any.
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 9:01 am
 
I'm not heartless: I once called bullshit on a beggar midget, and took him into the beer shop and made him pick out what beer he wanted, and told him to get the good shit, that I wouldn't pay for that cheap crapola. (He couldn't reach the good shit): he selected Heineken.
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 11:11 am | Edited by: ChrisG
 
.


red eyed willie wrote:
There was this guy outside the deli on 9th Ave and 46th St, where I used to get my coffee, who would never ask for money, always for food. He'd take the food and put it in a bag. I had to find out what the deal was one day 'cause I knew somethin' was funny about it. I talked to him for a good five minutes and got him to admit to me that he was part of a four man team that worked hells kitchen; he got the food while the other three got the money for weed, booze and crack.

I don't know the specific beggar you're talking about but I do know you're talking about Sammi & Jimmie's Deli, N.E. corner of 46th & 9th?! (Jimmie has a new deli at N.W. corner of 43rd & 9th) Until last year, I spent the last decade living at the corner of 46th & 9th. I'm still in the kitchen. WTF do you live?

I guess if you're going to beg for food, the corner of Restaurant Row isn't a bad place to stand.

Whenever we've been out to Arturo's, we take the A,C,E from 4th St. & 6th Ave., back up to the kitchen. When walking West on Houston towards 6th, there's always a concentration of beggers and bums, especially around the park-benches outside of that basketball court. We never finish all of our pizza, so I always have them wrap it to-go. The first one that hits me up for money gets the go-bag. As soon as I say it's left overs from Arturo's, they accept, generally appreciatively. I've met some rude bums in my life, but I have to say, nobody wants to turn down free Arturo's.


.
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 7:46 pm
 
"The little kid thing... it is vacation from school man."

Actually this same kid's hit me up for change when it wasn't the Holiday Break. Carrying the bag of groceies definitely did not help his case any. I can ignore a bunch of Crust Fund Poseurs Downtown,but when it's some little kid? What kind of parents does he have and what are they teaching him? What part of his developing brain said that this was right? As previously stated, i do not think he was legit broke.

Moving on from that,i'll give you another example of this shit that ties in w/ the rest of this therad... there was a guy that drunk mark kinda knew when he was staying at Jon and jewbacca's old house that he invited over. Let's call him Larry,because that's his name. He was a slighly older variation of the younger pseudo-crusty types everyone's been talking about on here. Surprisingly enough,he wasn't that bad of a guy and it seemed like he had his shit together compared to most,he just didn't have a place to live. he soon came over a lot and eventually too much,even sleeping on the front porch of the house w/out asking on many occasions.

Then one night when Jn'J had a party at their house(as opposed to just gettin' wasted in general) that Larry attended. He crashed there and used Jon's new Sleeping Bag w/out permission. The next day Jon was missing some,um,stuff that he had (*coughcough*) and it was hidden in a special place that took some investigation to find. Not that he should hve to worry,since he knew all the other people that were at the party (including many fine folks that post on here and even on this thread!),he just didn't wanna misplace it. Sure enough,the next day Jon searched for his stuff high and low because it wasn't where he had stashed it the night before. Since everyone else at the party were real friends that have more repsect than that,it wasn't long before we found the culprit: "Larryyyyy!"

He was boooted out of there but that asshole still works his tragic at the corner of SE Milwukie & Powell about 4 blocks from my house where i have to see him every day. Those guys got evicted from that house but they cleaned the place up and never found that stuff.
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 7:59 pm
 
Sorry about the post hoggin',but i have to make this point: I'm lucky to be where i am right now. I'm only a circumstance away from being a "Have Not".I've been homeless before but i never resorted to spare changing. I looked for work and did whatever i could to better my situation w/out having to be a Bum. It's possible this little kid was just fucking w/me but the fake-ass Crust Funders make all the people that really are down on their luck look bad.

Portland and other cities are passing new "vagrancy laws" because of these fuckers. I don't want these laws and i don't think they're necessary,but this shit has me questioning my own sense of goodwill and Liberal values. I guess my heart's stopped bleeding because of this. Thanks kid.
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 9:13 pm
 
In Minneapolis, you have to have a license to panhandle...
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 10:04 pm
 
this shit has me questioning my own sense of goodwill and Liberal values.

Liberal values got nothing to do with enabling somebody's fuckheadness. I'm almost to the point of doing violence to the Memphis bums, especially when they approach my vehicle. Nobody'll miss 'em ...
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 10:12 pm
 
Has anyone seen my bum?
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 11:24 pm
 
my favs are the memphis crackheads who shout at me from a block away.

my next project is a hip hop combo called:

"crackhead shout"
Posted: Dec 30, 2006 11:57 pm
 
we don't really have any crusties around here. we just have old homeless people (who are all over midtown since they did a cleanup of downtown cuz all the yuppies buying condos down there are afraid of the homeless) and these kids who sell candy outside of stores who are really fronts to launder money for gangs.
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 7:33 pm
 
kids who sell candy outside of stores who are really fronts to launder money for gangs.
Damn, you mean it's not for their school's band uniforms? No wonder these kids mumble during the sales pitch.
Posted: Jan 4, 2007 10:06 pm
 
usually they claim it's for their football team, but none of them look like they're in high school even. they all look around 20 or 22 years old. i saw one drinkin' a 40 in the parking lot of the blockbuster one night, then hid it behind the return bin and ran up to sell me candy. that shit cracked me up. one had a younger guy along with him and the younger one looked like he could have maybe been 11 or 12, tops. they both claimed to be on the same football team selling candy.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 5:54 pm
 
Is there a common theme with Memphis beggars that every claims to be a boxer? On three occasions someone would drive up to me in a parking lot (usually a Kroger), tell me he's a boxer then hit me up for money because "that's the Christian thing to do?" Maybe it's the same guy incognito with different hoopties.
Posted: Jan 5, 2007 6:16 pm
 
I see Booker T's "son" every now and then.
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