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Goner Message Board / ???? / a dirk diggler xmas
Posted: Dec 17, 2006 8:05 pm
got the tree this mornin an put it up. a balsam fir. very nice. wifey an diglette are out gettin tinsel an candy canes. party!!!
Posted: Dec 17, 2006 8:12 pm
Nice. We got our tree last weekend from a "cut down your own xmas tree" farm about an hour outside the city. Good times.
Posted: Dec 17, 2006 8:26 pm
we just threw ours away. it was a piece of shit. now we're getting another one tonight. it was very depressing.
Posted: Dec 17, 2006 8:47 pm
Hammered 45's with cool labels make decent ornaments.
Posted: Dec 17, 2006 9:43 pm
i was walking past phyllis' and they were selling xmas trees there? maybe i will get one?
Posted: Dec 17, 2006 10:23 pm
We're going for the Cuban missle Crisis/Christmas-Mine is aluminum with a color wheel.
Posted: Dec 18, 2006 3:38 am
I'm with Lee Ving on this one: FUCK CHRISTMAS.
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 3:38 am
I fucking hate the Hoildays.. A few years a go I got really fucked up on booze and pills on x-mas eve and om x-mas morning I threw up in front of my then girlfriends 80 year old grandmother..
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 3:45 am
I feel so sorry for people who hate the holidays. This is a time to share with friends and family and spread love to one another and hopefully to even those outside your circle to show others the love God showed to us.
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 3:48 am
I feel so sorry for people who hate the holidays. This is a time to share with friends and family and spread love to one another and hopefully to even those outside your circle to show others the love God showed to us.

I like this whole statement except for the God part.
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 3:51 am
well if it makes you feel better you can think of God as your favorite album or a real big banana split. God should never make anyone feel bad
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 4:03 am
Kirk Kiggler is beautiful.
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 7:38 am
got the tree this mornin
do you use popcorn threaded on a string for an ornament?
the mirror and the skaters, the ho train going around the village?
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 11:46 am
The only decoration in my house is some tinsel gaffer taped to the kitchen wall as a joke thats still there from last year. Oh yeah, and a sign that flashes on and off and says 'hot dogs'. thats pretty rad.
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 6:44 pm
One Two Fuck You

Christmas Up Your Ass

Let me tell you a story about a little elf
Wanted to be a dentist
But needed a little help

Met a guy named Rudolph
They both decided to split
To the Island of Misfit toys
Where they won't take no more shit

They're not daffy, they're not dilly
They don't go 'round all willy nilly
Seems to me kinda silly. They don't give a fuck about fitting in.

Yukon Cornelius
Yukon Cornelius
Yukon Cornelius
Yukon Cornelius

They're having fun getting drunk


Gonna piss off King Moon Racer
Double whiskey and another beer chaser
Getting fucked up with misfit toys
We don't need no Christmas joy

They don't give a fuck what you think about their fucking lives
It doesn't really matter
Besides they're only having fun, getting stoned

Smoke pop-rocks with Charlie-In-TheĖBox
Train wheels made of wooden blocks
Got a snow monster on my tail
He's bouncing around raise'n hell

We don't give a fuck what you think about our fucking lives
It really doesn't matter
Besides we're only having fun, getting drunk

Yukon Cornelius
Yukon Cornelius
Yukon Cornelius
Yukon Cornelius

We're having fun
Posted: Dec 20, 2006 4:10 pm
candy canes. party!!!

Sounds like a gay old time you be havin' there Dingleberry
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 9:58 pm
okay, got all the gifts bought an shit. gonna crack open the first beer of the long hioliday weekend an smoke it up. gonna blast the world ain't round it's square, my new fave album an contemplate my last record order of the year. what other teenage shutdowns rule as hard as the world ain't round??? none i bet. party!!!
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 9:59 pm
what kinda beer you drinkin drik?
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:03 pm
yueng lings of course. america's oldest brewery. 8.99 a twelve pack. rulin.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:06 pm
8.99, eh? I'll have to look for that at the Highland Z (only place that has a wide selection of beers without being all hoity-toity about it and the price).
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:10 pm
What did you get your kiddo, Dirk?
What do 6-yr olds want for that matter?
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:16 pm
a bunch of toys an clothes an art supplies an books an stuff. she's almost 5.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:17 pm
Among other things, the boy's getting Battleship. I'm pretty excited about that one.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:18 pm
art supplies

Yeah!!!! Party!!

Guess I wondering if they're already asking for electronics and shit like that. I don't really know any kids that age.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:18 pm
Fuck, Jack...I need to go to the post office today...I gotta get that shit to ya.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:19 pm

And good to know some things will never change.
I love battleship....or used to anyways.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:19 pm
Get back to the porn, Arm!
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:21 pm
shut up....I'm on lunch.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:21 pm
8.99, eh? I'll have to look for that at the Highland Z (only place that has a wide selection of beers without being all hoity-toity about it and the price).

no yueng-lings in memphis unfortunately. I love that fuggin beer. When buds from the east coast come into town for a visit, I always make them bring me a case or two. Alabama is the closest place to Memphis you can get it...and the ONLY reason to ever go to Alabama IMO.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:24 pm
Don't sweat it Arm. Take your time.

Yeah Battleship rules. However, he's also getting another PS2 game. I have a suspicion the wife and I will be playing Battleship Christmas night, while he Boba Fett's it up.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:24 pm
well we got her walkie talkies she asked for. no nintendo or anyhting like that yet. this doll she wanted, monopoly jr, some other stuff wifey got. battleship rules!!!
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:26 pm
no yueng-lings in memphis unfortunately

Well, that sucks. I figured I'd take a gander tonight, while at the Rally Point. Right accross the parking lot from Highland Z.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:28 pm
Electronic Battleship blows! Old school all the way! B3. HIT!
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:30 pm
Walkie Talkies rule!!! We got some for him last year. Prett Funny. He'd take one to bed, and whisper to me until he fell asleep (I was just in the next room). I'd know he was asleep, because he would he'd crash on the morse-code key button. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP.....
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:31 pm
oh, it's playstation battleship??? woah. the kids probably dig that better than the old school ones. you sunk my battleship, todd.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:36 pm
oh, no, no, no...
The we got him the old-school analog/non-electronic version. The PS2 game is the part two Star Wars Lego thing.

Finally finished my shopping today, too, d. Got my brother this crazy USB missle launcher. You can guide it with your mouse to bomb the dude in the next cubicle. You can even connect a web-cam to it for a scope. Pretty cool. He doesn't deserve it. I kind of want one, too, but I had to stop myself on the impulse buys this year.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 10:50 pm
I might get a Nintendo Wii for the little brother so that he knows I'm way cooler than my parents. Are those stupid fucking things still OOP KBD SSLD, or can you just walk into Best Buy and get one? I'm not leaving the house to find out.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 11:09 pm
yueng lings

I like the porter, but I haven't ever seen it in Memphis
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 11:33 pm
yueng lings of course. america's oldest brewery. 8.99 a twelve pack. rulin.

never had.. got sierra nevada celbration ale.. 6.8% and CRANKY PATS PIZZA tonight at 11~
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 11:54 pm
This year stinks.
My first christmas and new years married and I'm gonna be alone at my house.
Parents don't really give a fart bout me, I wont even see 'em probally, but yet I still pitched in a buncha money for gifts my brother bought for 'em.

Bah Humbug!
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 11:55 pm
Yuengling is local here in pittsburgh, best bar in my opinion. Cheap and good.
Posted: Dec 22, 2006 11:57 pm
I meant best bar beer.
Posted: Dec 23, 2006 1:29 am
yeah, yueng ling rules. you should ask the beer cave to carry it. a twelve pack is the same cost as an import six pack. an it's not piss water. it's hearty an tastes good. traditional lager. well, blasted the world ain't roun d again. great 66 punk comp. i gotta get another teenage shutdown. the norton sonics boom gatefold lp is awesome too. only had the new rtose 80's reish but the norton reish is loaded w/ liner notes an photos an sounds great. watchin the knicks play the bulls now an havin another yueng ling. party!!!
Posted: Dec 23, 2006 1:48 am
I'm gonna look for the yueng lings here....I don't know if I've seen em around.

I like me some Tecate and Steel Reserves....Now thems is piss in a can.
Posted: Dec 23, 2006 2:16 am
I like the porter, but I haven't ever seen it in Memphis

The lager's OK, but the porter is fierce, really great stuff. Does Memphis have a local brewery? I can't seem to recall ever having anything from there. I'm just back from a bar where they have Gouden Carolus NoŽl and Delirium NoŽl on tap. Between those two and some Two Brothers' Hop Juice and Arcadia Brewing Co. Cocoa Loco Triple Chocolate Stout---way better beer than the insipid name would suggest---I'm drunk as a skunk. Time for me to follow Womb Raider's sage advice and log off before I make more of an ass of myself than usual. Happy Holidays all.
Posted: Dec 23, 2006 8:06 am
Yuengling here is 2.00 buck a bottle.
Bars have the cheap-o nights where its 25 cent a draft.

An if your a native pittsburgher like me its pronounced YINGLIN, N 'AT.
Posted: Dec 23, 2006 3:53 pm
i fell asleep w/an almost full bottle opened so when i got up at 4am for a while i quickly downed it. no reason to waste good beer. party!!!
Posted: Dec 25, 2006 4:39 am
Yueng Ling.

Fully endorsed by Philly Boy Roy!!
Posted: Dec 25, 2006 4:55 pm
i quickly downed it. no reason to waste good beer. party!!!

fuckin a

happy fuckin xmas fucker!
Posted: Dec 25, 2006 9:22 pm | Edited by: d diggler
diglette woke up at 6:38 an wanted to open her presents. it was still dark out. i only got to sleep a couple of hours before so needless to say i was burnt. she dug everything she got an i went back to sleep for a couple of hours. then got up again an went for a family walk. just got back an gonna start drinkin yueng lings an blast some tunes before the football starts. dallas vs eagles an jets vs dolphins=two good games. oh, yeah an have dinner. merry xmas mike rushin an to the entire goner nation. party!!!
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 2:51 pm
My parents and brother came to my house and it was pretty awesome. Except my brother couldn't breath the whole time cause he's allergic to dogs and cats, of which I have 1 and 2. I got a kitchen island!
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 4:13 pm
i had a lame family gathering as usual, then took a few acid drops for the first time in 5,6 years and went to Hortonville to rock the KILLZONE! What a fuckin blast! Drank good beer pretty much all weekend and smoked dope. Three more weeks in this dump and im out! Whoop! Wherez Arm?
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 5:29 pm
My 7 yr old got walkie talkies also. Also, he asked for and got a PA and a wireless microphone. He keeps running around talking and singing through it and seeing how far away from the PA he can go and still have it pick him up.

I like it too, I did a running monologue about christmas and various other nonesense while my in-laws were opening their gifts last night. They ignored me, as they so wisely always do.

I got a fuzz pedal.
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 5:39 pm
I got a big bottle of rum that I drank at my house Xmas eve and slept through xmas day. Thaen had Indian with Tim & Jenna & Micha. Delicious.

Merry Triple XXXmas everybody!
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 7:55 pm
oh, yeah an have dinner

hope ya remembered to peel the foil back over the apple brown betty fucktard
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 10:14 pm

i liked this stuff. they had it in cincinnati when i lived there and i drank that shit quite a bit. haven't had it since i drove through pa on my way to boston this past spring break.

i haven't partied much this christmas other than getting shitfaced hammered with my dad and one of his friends one night at this total redneck bar that served fucking great fried chicken and stout ass whiskey & cokes. other than that, i smoked a tiny bit and ate a lortab with my cousins and bitched about how crazy our grandma was driving us while we watched terrible movies.

i am really anxious to get back to memphis.
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 10:19 pm
Do they have them wherever you are?
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 10:21 pm
I got completely hammered 3 days in a row, which is not something I normally do. Then I got really stoned yesterday w/ a group of people who had various weeds & also a hard time understanding that I had to get up at 6 AM. Then phone calls rang in all night, up until about 4:15 AM. I'm tahrd!

My sister got me a cool one-hitter thingie that's spring loaded & dangerous & also a cool new bowl. Also, overly-warm slippers with mammoth hide or something, cash, gift certificates, stuff, things, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 10:29 pm
what a hippie
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 10:36 pm
Elle....if you can bring back a case of the Yueng Ling black and tan, and a case of the lager for me, I will reward you with cash and prizes.
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 10:53 pm
Me too! Just a case of the lager, though.
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 10:55 pm
they have the yueng ling black an tan, lager an light at the stop an shop by my place. usually on sale for $8.99 a twelve pack. reg price is $9.99. i'm havin one right now. wifey an diglette went to her grandmas house to have second xmas w/ her cousins an aunts an uncles (she's one of ten cousins). a little peace an quiet for the digmeister. gonna party an get some tunes ready for the wrong numbers. bazooka joe an xteene sent diglette an xmas present which i got in the mail today an put under the tree for when she gets back. thanks guys!!!
Posted: Dec 26, 2006 10:57 pm
digmeister? you fuckin idiot
Posted: Dec 27, 2006 4:14 am
just got a call from bazooka joe. still in hangover. drinkin lotsa jack daniels an rum an coke. he wrote a new song called you'll be sorry for the wrong numbers. it goes you'll be sorry somethin somethin somethin, you'll be sorry somethin, somethin, somethin. he wanted me to remember it for him cause he's drunk. he also told me how he told billy miller that all our songs are anti-"ed" an billy couldn't understand why. ah, the generation gap. time for another yueng ling. party!!!
Posted: Dec 27, 2006 8:22 am
Elle....if you can bring back a case of the Yueng Ling black and tan, and a case of the lager for me, I will reward you with cash and prizes.

i wish they had it here. they don't have jack shit here to drink because it's a super small town and the selection is pretty slim. it's pretty sad. they got some fancy german imports around, but no real selection other than that beyond the basics (miller, bud, pbr, etc). they probably have it somewhere on the way back home though. if i can find it, i'll bring back some. but i can't promise ya anything. i'll try and hook it up though. i'd be stocking up cuz yuengling is a-nice!
Posted: Dec 28, 2006 2:10 am
Did diglette open her presents from us yet?

You'll Be Sorry... inspired by B. Childish but sounds nothing like his shit. It's better.
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