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Goner Message Board / ???? / What is the biggest/ most expensive thing you have ever stolen???
Posted: Nov 15, 2006 11:31 pm
mine was a box of girls pants from the GAP. approximate total value: $1000.

look at the "winning things" thread that was started by DCR for further explanation....
Posted: Nov 15, 2006 11:35 pm
it wasn't really stealing, but i "won" a guitar from a place called music go round that was going out of business. their finance dept lost the records saying i had financed it. and they had their own little financing company. i think i paid 50 bux for a $700 d'armond
Posted: Nov 15, 2006 11:37 pm | Edited by: I am the Arm
Ever walk up to an ATM and see the last person leaving and on the screen reads the phrase "would you like another transaction?" ?

I have. Twice...Lets just say, Free burritos!
Posted: Nov 15, 2006 11:39 pm
Guess that's where all my bad Karma came from.

that or stealing peoples lampshades
Posted: Nov 15, 2006 11:49 pm
That lampshade was my mine...came from my room at my mom's in illinois. Mine fair and square, shittynuts.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 1:51 am
Her innocence was priceless I'm sure.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 2:20 am
Ever walk up to an ATM and see the last person leaving and on the screen reads the phrase "would you like another transaction?" ?

That's my worst nightmare. Standing behind me at an ATM line might be one of the most annoying things in the world; I do a triple take at the screen after my money pops up and I wait 30 or so pointless seconds to make sure the bank icon stays up and doesn't go back into the screen for my account. Total paranoia. I can always hear people huffing and sighing in back of me.

But as the above story illustrates, better safe than sorry.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 2:26 am
During college, I worked as a pizza deliver driver. Over the course of 5 years I pilfered roughly $30,000 from my employer. I bought a lot of records back then.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 3:00 am
A couple of friends and I stole 50 cases of Heineken back in high school from a Dutch guy who worked for the Embassy - it was the good Dutch shit too, not the pasteurized American Heineken. Stole it out of the garage while the whole family was sleeping - we left behind one case of Bud Light just to be assholes. All the bottles were little stubbies with 'duty free' stamped on 'em and the whole town new about it so we'd always go to Santa Cruz where we didn't know anybody and drink em on the beach.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 3:03 am
"would you like another transaction?"

Just so you know, it's a requirement for all banks to make the user re-enter their PIN number for continuing with new transactions. I'm not saying they all do, but they are supposed to.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 3:41 am | Edited by: jerkalert
I lived in a grocery store once with a bunch of scumbags and one responsible girl who had a job at IKEA. She could get us anything we wanted so long as we would come pick it up. She had some scam were we could come in get some sort of ticket and actually have the other employees help us out to our truck to put shit inside. Bunk beds, sofa beds, tables, chairs... you name it. Things would usually get destroyed the first night they were in the house/store.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 3:58 am
though i didn't steal it, i harbored the giant gellato cone form hyde park cafe in austin that a friend stole to impress a girl. it sat in my back yard for a couple of days.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 4:07 am
your minds
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 5:16 am
I stole a 6 foot missile/rocket out of some car repair lot. The rocket was made of aluminum and had a lightbulb on the tip. Really neat 50's space-age kinda thing. Looked like it was used for advertising someone's business.

I know a guy who once stole a plastic lifesize Ronald McDonald clown from the McDonald's drive-thru back in the mid 80's. It was reported on the local news as Ronald being kidnapped. A week or so later Ronald was found floating in a lake 30 miles away.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 5:19 am
I wish brad and amber would adopt me.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 5:38 am
where to begin...

i stole about 3000 dollars worth of christmas decorations when i lived in bloomington with one of my friends. i had a 4 foot tall santa claus and a wreath that was rather large that i stole off the side of an apartment building. we got wrote up in the newspaper as "thieves dampen christmas spirit".

stole about 30 pumpkins from various places all in one night too -- some from the grocery store parking lot bin and some off peoples' porches.

right after the last election, my friends and i were rolling around cordova and were gettin' stoned and stealing christmas decorations when we had the brilliant idea to write IMPEACH BUSH in white shoe polish on the windows of every car with a W for president sticker. that was pretty fun. needless to say since we were in crackerville, we did a lot of writing on windows. haha.

when i was 16, i stole a set of golf clubs out of the back of somebody's truck in the parking lot of a local hotel. i promptly went to play "mailbox baseball" with the clubs. doesn't work as well as a baseball bat. almost tore my damn arm off trying to hit one of the mailboxes.

this guy i used to date stole a frisch's big boy statue before. that shit was riotously funny. the cops caught him and his friends that did it. they got in a lot of shit. fortunately, i wasn't there at the time, but i had to go bail some stupid fuckers out of jail. heehaw.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 2:12 pm
i rape babies

cuz thats the only thing you can fit your little dick in faggot
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 2:56 pm
'Cause I

Stole your love

Stole your love

Ain't never gonna let you go-woah.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 2:57 pm
I've stolen lots of hearts.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 4:18 pm
I stole a 6 foot missile/rocket out of some car repair lot. The rocket was made of aluminum and had a lightbulb on the tip. Really neat 50's space-age kinda thing. Looked like it was used for advertising someone's business.

I'd be all over that! A Fuckin' rocket!!!

lately I have this compulsion to take sharpie pens home from work, and just a week or so ago I overheard the office supply dude complaining about how often he has to buy new packs of 'em.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 4:22 pm
I stole the space shuttle atlantis. I'm so slick those NASA morons haven't even noticed it's missing.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 6:03 pm
I stole a cancer patient at the Mayo Clininc. Hold the Mayo..!!
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 6:14 pm
I can't talk about it 'cuz the statute of limitations hasn't run out yet...
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 6:21 pm
Not the biggest or most expensive thing probably, but the BEST thing I ever took was the "Parking Reserved Consul of Guatemala" sign from outside Barristers.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 6:58 pm
i stole a +200lb concrete lion from the front lawn of a high school. i drove it around in the back of my truck for a couple weeks and everytime i hit the breaks too hard it would come crashing into the back of the cab. it eventually did so much damage that my door wouldnt close properly, so i threw it in the pool at my dorm.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 7:03 pm
i stole some panties at show in chicago. the band was shitty, i figgered they owed me.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 7:15 pm
i stole a bonzo dog band record from this shitty music store/venue here in town. played there tons of times never got any money. figured they owed me.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 7:17 pm | Edited by: deadcityrebel
and an older sparks record
and a chantelles record
and a buck owens record
and an aretha record
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 7:23 pm
My bosses car was the most expensive thing I ever stole, however the most potentially profitable thing I toke was a stack of McDonalds cups (about 100) with Monopoly game tabs on them.
No major prizes. Just a bunch of free burgers and ice cream cones.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 8:12 pm
bonzo dog band

Quite a steal!!! I love the Bonzo Dog Band!!!

I used to pilfer string cheese from the grocery store where I worked. The produce guys were "bad" kids, and I used to go back and hang out with them while they stole aerosol whipped topping off the shelves and huffed it in the back room.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 8:25 pm
I stole a pair of armani sunglasses from the pearl vision place when I was getting real glasses. This was back in high school. Two weeks later they fell off my face into the water at crew practice.

Recently I "found" an I-pod. After 1 week it stopped working and I threw it in the trash.
Moral: Stolen things don't work.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 8:34 pm
After 1 week it stopped working and I threw it in the trash.
stopped working altogether?
recharging and resetting didn't work?
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 9:36 pm
recharging and resetting didn't work?
fuck i pods, they dont work for shit.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 9:40 pm
Me and some friends borrowed my older sister's car one night and got busted
Another time I borrowed my parent's car and got busted again...
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 9:50 pm
take sharpie pens

Nick takes these for me! Watch out, baby!

I haven't stolen much since high school (outside office supplies - transparencies are expensive!), but I used to steal lingerie by the thousands of dollars worth...

I stole my mom's car once when I was 14 or 15, and left a 24-hour diner at 4am with the lights off. Of course we got pulled over, and the cop just pulled up next to us and said "ma'am, your lights aren't on" and let us go. Dumbass.

I just recently decided I want an ipod, and I'm sure as shit not paying for it.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 10:05 pm
The iPod reminds me, I rip off music regularly. I'm not the least bit troubled by that.
I've never had a problem with my ipod. Buy one "referbished" it's a bit less expensive.
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 10:09 pm
i stole a bag of pot out of a police station in maine. thats all i'm sayin about that!
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 11:41 pm
I'm sure as shit not paying for it.

find the closest college kid near you and make them buy you one from their college bookstore with their student discount.

i'm pretty happy with mine, but my computer sucks so i can't keep updating it. piss shit asshole.
Posted: Nov 17, 2006 5:02 am
When I was about 15, some buddies of mine from high school started building thid "fortress" out the woods behind one of their houses. It was two stories, had as many ameneties as one would need for a comfortable party joint and for some reason no one found out about it for a long time. We had to go on late night runs around local construction sites, stupid assholes backyards that would leave expensive power tools and stuff like that out all night long, my father's propane fueled space heater, countless yards of lumber from housing developments, a wood stove and all the chiminey piping from a newly completed house (this town was so small and so fucking out of it the dick heads would leave the new houses they were showing to potential buyers wide open, even in the middle of the night) and who knows how much other crap. It was a lot of expensive stuff-y'know, we were building a "home" and that takes equipment and furnishings and stuff. It was a great place for about a season and then some lame-ass football heros found out about it, and long stoy short, exposed us and ruined it for us. The three key player guys took the fall for everything and didn't rat out their theiving peons and I really never saw any of those guys again. Hmmm. I haven't thought about that in a long time.
Posted: Nov 17, 2006 7:50 am | Edited by: andy
When I was in high school, we used to steal cars all the time. Just to joy ride. Then we'd dump'm or even bring them back sometimes. How stupid is that? I probably did my first B&E when I was eight. I was a real mental case. I stopped stealing stuff when I was 19, after busting open a pinball machine. My cut was probably about $200 in quarters. I felt like an asshole and never stole anything again. I never was caught , but a lot of my friends ended up getting snagged.
Posted: Nov 17, 2006 10:38 am
Posted: Nov 17, 2006 11:45 pm
"janet jackson? mo like freddie jackson..."
Posted: Nov 18, 2006 10:29 am
I come from a family of petty criminals so would be forced to fence their stolen goods on my classmates at school. One time we had over 10,000 Parker pens that I had to sell at school bit by bit until they'd gone. Another time I had to sell Barry Sheen racing jackets (size XL) to people half my size. they didnt do so well. My mum would take a cut for everything stored at our house so I'd have the ridiculous task of selling them. Perfume (for your mum!), Colibri Cigarette lighters (for your dad!) I had to put my foot down when they tried to make me sell stolen wheelchairs (for your granny!). It definately put me off crime.
Posted: Nov 18, 2006 10:32 am
Plus whenever there was a police car in the street, we had to turn off the TV and hide. Even though the police never came round. Everybody was so fucking paranoid. "Mum, I'm watching Inch High Private Eye"
"I dont care, turn it off and hide under the stairs with the others!"
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