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Goner Message Board / ???? / I'm going to hell..
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 1:47 am | Edited by: Whiskey Bent
I just ran over a slightly plump yard stick of a snake squirming his way across the road -- I didn't see it!! :-(

Never ran over anything living before. And will drive like a fucking maniac-tard to avoid guts on the road. Admittedly, I shed a couple tears.

There's been a MEAN thunderstorm-a-brewin all day and now it's lightnin mighty-fierce outside, gOnna shut this thing down till Lost & PR is over.......

........then I'll be seeing most of ya's while I watch my GONERFEST DVD!!! Whoo-Hoo!!
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 1:51 am
I'm going to hell..

See you there. And you'll know it's me 'cuz I'm one slightly overweight, slightly burnt, angry and aggressive handsome devil (w/ goood taste)...
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 1:52 am
You won't go to hell for that. A snake is the embodiment of the devil hisself. Everyone knows it's playing rock n' roll that'll send you to hell.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 1:53 am
I've run over:
A snake or two
A turtle
No less than three birds have hit my windshield while driving
A few turtles
The occasional dumb-ass squirel (run the OTHER WAY, you retard).
One already dead, fully bloated raccoon (on acid in my teens, and my passenger side window was open; It exploded to the right into a gully, I don't think I'll ever forget that sound)
I stepped bare-footed on a slug on acid, too. Bad memories.
My Dad hit a cow with his cadillac; fucked up the front end pretty bad.

My Dad told me "If it comes down to the animal or you, choose you."
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 1:55 am
Thee Mentors began......in Maay of...19...76...
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 2:00 am
I once hit a couch some dumbass had left in the middle of a dark country lane once.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 2:40 am
in high school I got a speeding ticket, hit a squirrel and a fucking beaver, ALL IN ONE DAY.

I think the only other thing I've killed with my car was a pigeon.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 2:41 am
Cars - 1
Pigeons - 0
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 2:45 am
I'm going to hell..

its gotta be cake compared to texas
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 2:46 am
A turtle

i've ran over a turtle once before. that freaked me out really bad. i cried.

i WATCHED my favorite pet cat get run over while crossing the highway before. that really sucked. it sucked even worse that the person who hit my damn cat didn't bother stopping. asshole. :(

speaking of hitting weird animals, i was in 6th grade coming home from a volleyball match and the team bus hit a horse and a colt. that was really fucked up. it fucked the busdriver up really bad and the bus was all kindsa fucked up and it smelled like ASS.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 2:47 am | Edited by: Jack Stands
the team bus hit a horse and a colt
it smelled like ASS.

asses are donkeys

They look similar, but they're not, really. Like Zebras.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 2:49 am
I used to jog back in high-school for physical fitness. I would jog around Pine Tree Pond. I think I stepped on a frog one night. I felt pretty bad about it...
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 2:50 am
you're a Zebra.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 2:53 am
This makes me glad to live in a barren wilderness.
Nothin' on the road but that mirage off in the distance.
...or some coked out stripper like the one that got creamed by three cars on the freeway here recently.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 3:11 am
One time when I had my VW bus I was driving with my lil sis riding shotgun and a bird flew right into the windshield and popped up into the air. My heart stopped for a sec and she cried like a baby.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 4:42 am
The street I take in the mornings is full of crack heads around 9:00 ..I have come really close to nailing a few of them.... My dad always said " son"If it comes down to the crackhead or you, choose you."
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 4:49 am
Heee Hawww!
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 4:50 am
One of the most miserable days of my life was when I backed over a month old kitten in my carport. I totally lost it. RIP lil sweetheart.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 5:29 am
I hit a beaver once!
Woo yeaaaaahhhhhhh baby!!!!

I lie.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 6:25 am
Dang. The DVD is fucking awesome. All the bands sound great -- and I really love how they're out of order; surprise everytime. Really, really great job to everyone involved.

Yeah. That wasn't me. It was an imposter.
I'm usually more wasted. Man. Whatta nerd.

But Arm's clearly a bigger nerd. Bucko. You silly.

Anyways, so WHY doesn't Overnight Lows have anything out?

Oh yeah, J9 wins cutest girl. With that smile? Ahhh! So cute.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 6:46 am
i broke into a church once. all i scored was a microwave oven and a telephone.

"If There's a Hell Below We're All Going to Go" - mayfield
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 6:51 am
I forgot to say I think the CD/DVD package is sooper-rad.

And that you're all a bunch-a killing machines. Except for Chev. Who sounds 'hot'. Oh! I kill myself. Wait. Get it? 'Kill' myself? Cha-cha-cha. I'm here all week, folks..
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 7:10 am
I ran over a donut once. Fucker lookded tasty too
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 7:42 am
So what about going to hell. I would take going to hell over heaven 'cuz then I could finally meet El Duce and a bunch of other cool people, but mostly El Duce...
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 2:30 pm
i was driving down a two lane blacktop in arkansas one time and came up on a overturned truck carrying pigs on the highway -- it was a brutal pig massacre - the highway was painted red with blood - dead pigs everwhere --- the stench was totally overpowering.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 2:48 pm
I ate a couple of pigs, cows, ducks, chickens etc. That was deliberate and probably a whole lot worse than accidentally hitting an animal who was living a free life. The dvd is great indeed.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 3:17 pm
One kangaroo, and a couple of hundred toads.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 3:27 pm
I hit a deer many years ago with a new car (new to me) and I wanted to kick it for running out in front of me. The cop asked if I wanted to strap it to the roof and "get the venison." No thanks.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 3:49 pm
The cop asked if I wanted to strap it to the roof and "get the venison."

I knew a dude who did this, hit the deer then just gathered it up into his trunk and took it home.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 5:06 pm | Edited by: carney
Two deer, one dog, couple of squirrels. The deer were both on the same tour. First one was around Mt Shasta, the second we were almost home and the fucker ran into me from the side out in Fredricksburg. Before we jit the second one (or I should say before he hit us), I counted over 100 deer on the sides of the road. I knew one of those fuckers was gonna get his shot in sooner or later.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 5:23 pm
I once ran over a cow that was already dead in the middle of the road in a teeny tiny saturn... My friend woke up and yelled "what the fuck did you hit, a cow?" and he didn't believe me until he saw his car... That was really disgusting.

Once, whilst on acid, this guy we were with hit a racoon IN A GRAVEYARD, and it wasn't dead, so I had to watch him "put it out of it's misery" by bashing it in the head repeatedly with a baseball bat he just happened to have in the car. That was worse. Especially the bunch of screaming, hysterical, tripping 15 year old girls (including myself).
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 6:16 pm
I ran over the cutest puppy one day... It was a golden Cocker Spaniel, I was going about 45 MPH up a hill, and it just ran out in front of me. I cried. Some lady pulled up next to me on the next road I was on and told me she had seen it happen and there was nothing I could have done to avoid it. I still felt like shit, I killed some kid's (or adult's) puppy. At least your victim wasn't totally adorable, something that looked like an illustration from a Christmas card...

Later on in life, I lived about 2 blocks away from where this happened and my favorite cat ever was hit by a car pretty much in the same intersection. (His name was Raven, he was a big, black, fluffy cat that I got from a junkie friend, it was love at first sight. He was a badass. He attacked a bull dog that was barking at me one day- had his front paws on the dog's collar, and was scratching its chest with his hind paws! The dog was running around in circles, yelping. Also my neighbor saw him stalk and kill a squirrel one day...) ...Karma?
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 7:18 pm
...or some coked out stripper like the one that got creamed by three cars on the freeway here recently.

wasn't that August 2005 ?? I was in town for rollercon when that happenned.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 8:06 pm | Edited by: Joe
No less than three birds have hit my windshield while driving

This just happened to me for the first time. Not the Thing, thank god, but my friend's car when I was just in Carbondale. We were cruising down some country road and this bird just dive-bomed the front bumper. The impact shot it up and over the car, much like Bazooka Joe's incident. I turned to look out the back window and saw it spiraling through the air before it hit the pavement.

I never thought this happened. Like that Seinfeld episode.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 9:28 pm
It was a golden Cocker Spaniel, I was going about 45 MPH up a hill, and it just ran out in front of me.

That was you?! Fuck! That was my dog!

Nah, but really, I did lose a dog just like that one to an old lady in a lincoln town car when I was a kid.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 9:29 pm
Bird - Stuck in grill for 400 miles before being noticed. Couldn't remove it in one piece.

Deers (x5) - One incident involved two at once. Drunk driving Dodge Ram early morning. Saw them about 100 feet away, locked it up and still managed to hit both after they did the back/forth dance. One ran away, the other was wounded. Didn't have a rock or weapon (it was the desert) so was forced to finish off the wounded one by driving over it again.

Coyote - Happened to be going desert camping and had a gun, so, finishing off was easy. Dealing with spirit animal totem freeing dance with wacked hippy friend, not so easy.

Snakes - who cares

Armadillo - Scuffed up the undercarriage and ripped out rubber trim on front tire.

Kitten - Felt rather bad about that

Dogs (x3) - Actually, managed to run over one particular family's dogs over the course of five years. I blame them as they never had them tied up and the fuckers would chase your tires. Darwin wins.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 9:30 pm
wasn't that August 2005 ??

As a matter of fact, I think it was. It's been longer since then than I implied yesterday.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 9:50 pm
an old lady in a lincoln town car

Me too! I think this is a common occurrence...
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 11:00 pm
Just the other day I saw a butterfly flitting across the road. A pretty red one. I thought maybe the air current would push it out of the way as it was almost out of the way by the time I got to it. I looked in my rearview mirror, saw it loop around once or twice then drop straight to the ground. Going to hell for sure.
Posted: Oct 19, 2006 11:13 pm
I think this is a common occurrence...

Old ladies in town cars, or dog killing ones?
Posted: Oct 20, 2006 12:42 am
Hit a deer once. The front quarterpanel on that side met with the deer's front shoulder so it's rear end end spun around against the passenger side door and it shit all over the window where my wife was sitting.

Ran over a neighbor's dog in High School. It was a fat, black toy poodle looking thing. The nieghbors had a pair of them and would walk them around at night so's theyd shit on everyone else's lawn. I crushed the little thing good. It wagged it's tail when I reached down to it before it died. The stupid lady was screaming at me the whole time. I told her that it was dead and to get some fucking leashes. I continued on to my cum guzzlin' girlfriend's house and hit a rabbit. I felt like quite the killer...
Posted: Oct 20, 2006 1:08 am
Old ladies in town cars, or dog killing ones?

All of the above...

I had a yorkie that got hit by a stupid old lady speeding in a residential area. My ex's fault, he let her jump out of the car and right into the street, then he called her name instead of gettin her, so she stopped and turned around... kablow.
Posted: Oct 20, 2006 3:32 am
so was forced to finish off the wounded one by driving over it again.

that sucks dude.
Posted: Oct 20, 2006 9:01 am
i regularly kill moths, slugs and trap rats with a fuckin' big victor snapper
Posted: Oct 20, 2006 4:50 pm
Rat traps?
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