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Goner Message Board / ???? / Things you can do when you find yourself suddenly single...
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Posted: Sep 9, 2006 5:45 am
 
I pushed the bed to the center of the room. Why? Because I can (and because somebody suggested it).

Next, I think I'm going to turn the floor into one big mattress.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 6:19 am
 
don't clean house for a month
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 6:25 am | Edited by: Windy
 
i still think you should build a huge pillow/sheet fort. indoor camping!
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 12:40 pm
 
I've been "suddenly single" since Febuary and I'mma poke my brain out. Does jerking off and reading alot count?
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 1:10 pm
 
don't clean house for a month

oh, that's a given.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 1:11 pm
 
build a huge pillow/sheet fort

That might require assistance.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 1:52 pm
 
FUCKING BE HAPPY!!!!!



lucky bastard.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 2:10 pm
 
lucky bastard.

Yes, I'm seeing that more and more every day.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 2:51 pm
 
i dunno but you better find out cause i got a feelin you're gonna be single for a long time, fag.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 4:37 pm
 
Get fat and weird!
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 4:53 pm
 
watch the movie Silent RUnnings starring Bruce Dern over and over and over...them little robots are cool.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 5:01 pm
 
Next, I think I'm going to turn the floor into one big mattress.

i have dreams of having a little bedroom with just a floor-bed and a lamp.

my favorite newly-single activities:

eating bacon everyday for a week (- this is only so satisfying since i used to be with a vegetarian. )

getting up early and listening to whatever loud rock and roll i want as loud as i want! whooo hoooo.

and leaving the bathroom door open almost all the time.

i heart living alone.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 5:07 pm
 
i have dreams of having a little bedroom with just a floor-bed and a lamp.

My room is approximately 20 x 20, and the ENTIRE floor is going to be covered with mattresses...I can't wait!!!!
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 5:12 pm
 
you're never gonna get out of bed again.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 5:15 pm
 
you're never gonna get out of bed again.

Probably not, except for Goner fest.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 5:41 pm
 
one of my faveorite newly single things was renting every movie i wanted to see that I got "compromised" out of watching
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 5:59 pm | Edited by: banned
 
i have dreams of having a little bedroom with just a floor-bed and a lamp.

This is like every one of my bedrooms ever. Started when I was about thirteen and moved into a room in the back of the basement. Then I lived in a shed out back. My room right now is an unfinished attic closet space. All I've got in my room is some cushions I stole off the couch in the living room and my sleeping bag on top of it. In one corner I stuck my backpack, with my clothes and stuff in it. In another is a box with what's left of the records and shirts I was selling on tour. I haven't found a lamp yet. I don't have electricity in there anyway. The only light I have in from the holes in the walls that allow light in, and from the monitor of my laptop when I use it to look at porn in there.

I love those kind of rooms, because, first, I never end up paying more than a hundred bucks in rent... second, because, although for many people a room like that would be a major inconvenience to them, I've been told by girls that they find the rooms "romantic" when I have 'em.

Now I just gotta find a girl to bring back to my room.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 6:14 pm
 
Dude when my girlfriend moved out of the house recently, she took everything that didn't plug in pretty much.
So my room is a pile of blankets on the hardwood floor, The few T-shirts I own, a lamp on the floor, my guitar, a record player and stacks and stacks of records everywhere.

Its looks like a vinyl crackhouse.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 6:15 pm
 
Its looks like a vinyl crackhouse.

that doesn't necessarily sound like a bad thing
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 6:23 pm
 
You got a closet you wanna rent out to me?
I need to move.
I'm very tiny and accomodating, I can sleep in an oven if need be.
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 6:31 pm
 
I'm very tiny and accomodating, I can sleep in an oven if need be.


You're Jewish too?
Posted: Sep 9, 2006 6:44 pm
 
Im pittsburgh's only Irish Jew.

Daniel McSclhegielsteinersteinersweneerschtein
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 1:22 am
 
Today's "single" activity: Making mix "tapes".
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 1:30 am
 
I hate being single. I'd give you the "how many times I've had sex in the last two years" rap but you would totally be depressed.
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 4:53 am
 
I got "compromised" - yes Windy, I'm aware this is taken out of context, but please elaborate.
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 5:20 am
 
I'm totally single and I'm really enjoying just hanging out. There's a girl in Toronto I really like though if anyone's from there, she is really fucking great and i like her a lot. Toronto folks will know who she is.
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 6:00 am
 
I'm totally single and I'm really enjoying just hanging out.

Me too. After a long time of being with someone, it's sorta refreshing to have this whole new life. Sure, romance and lovin' is great, but guess it's good to be away from it to appreciate it sometimes.

Today; ordered a couch and bought myself some new bedroom curtains and a bedspread...There's nothin' like only having to please yourself!
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 9:20 am
 
There's also something to be said for jumping off the bandwagon for awhile. The last girl I dated was a rebound to get over a girl I dated for a year. We dated for like 3 months and it was horrible and I was totally not into it. I was just doing it to have somebody around. Dating girls you actually hit it off with is great, but dating just to date and not be lonely is kinda stoopid. How many people do you know who are dating but are bored with each other, bitch about each other, or are always on the verge of breaking up? What's da point?

Being alone can sometimes be the better option.
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 1:18 pm
 
I'm far to self-absorbed for a relationship at this point in my life. I guess it's been that way since I was a teenager. I dunno if that'll change. I hope so, sometimes.
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 5:18 pm
 
Today's activity: play yesterday's mix tapes at FULL volume. Over and over and over and over.
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 5:33 pm | Edited by: dirk diggler
 
the sensitive side of banned.
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 5:59 pm
 
I got "compromised" - yes Windy, I'm aware this is taken out of context, but please elaborate.


ladies don't tell things like that on the internet.
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 7:00 pm
 
better start trolling the 'casual encounters' section of craigslist
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 7:06 pm
 
better start trolling the 'casual encounters' section of craigslist

ha!
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 8:18 pm
 
ladies don't tell things like that on the internet.

yeah...okay.
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 8:48 pm
 
Really...my roomate just moved out and I gave her everything. I have my compute sitting on the floor a matress in the main room, records, dirty dishes, empty beer cans and just way too much room. Going to rent out the front room to a friend for photograhy space. Stays pretty cool though. 90 out and dont even need to turn on the air. 700 a month is killing me but a lot of space I need to utilize.
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 9:44 pm
 
I've been suddenly single for almost 10 months now. It's not so glamorous. Today was supposed to be my wedding day- until my ex decided he just had to fuck this waitress he worked with. Threw away a 12 year friendship to fuck some bitch who ditched him in less than month. Jackass.

My fav single activity seems to be smoking a lot of weed, drinking frequently & heavily & attending every single rock show I can manage. That has been a bonus- my ex would always talk me out of goin to local rock shows in favor of more domestic pursuits. No more! Thank gawd there's a ton of good bands making the scene in PDX these days. Keeps me outta trouble...
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 9:57 pm
 
My girlfriend is dumping my ass. I guess she got sick of my Whiskey-dickedness. I hope this next drought ain't as bad as the last one. I got sick of seeing Mrs. Thumb and her Four Lovely Daughters...
Posted: Sep 10, 2006 11:00 pm
 
until my ex decided he just had to fuck this waitress he worked with. Threw away a 12 year friendship to fuck some bitch who ditched him in less than month. Jackass.

That sucks. I can understand guys cheating (I know that sounds bad but I'm a guy so I know), but I cannot fathom guys who take it that one step further and actually break up with a long term girlfriend just to attempt to "date" the girl they fucked. O' course it's gonna go wrong, palz! If these chicks were worth dating they wouldn't be sleeping with taken men.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 6:55 am | Edited by: elle
 
If these chicks were worth dating they wouldn't be sleeping with taken men.

yup.

man, relationships are difficult. i don't let anyone try to talk me out of doing what i want to do, and i guess that makes it kind of difficult. but i got sick and tired of guys trying to get me to do what they wanted while they would never do what i wanted. i hated being the only person willing to compromise. so now, instead of doing an activity i can't fucking stand when the other party is unwilling to do what i would rather do all of the time, i just say fuck it and do whatever the fucking hell i please. it does cause fights on the occasion, but that's better than me being pissy all the time and never getting to see my friends.

the worst thing i ever did or "compromise" was put off going back to school because of a stupid guy who wouldn't get a fucking job who turned around and cheated on me with an ugly ass fat chick who fed him free meth. i was working 2 jobs to support the both of us and pay rent and buy food. i guess that just wasn't enough.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 7:41 am
 
so now, instead of doing an activity i can't fucking stand when the other party is unwilling to do what i would rather do all of the time, i just say fuck it and do whatever the fucking hell i please.
All of this pillow talk is turning me on."compromise"No wonder I'm still single.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 2:52 pm
 
If I was single, I would start cashing all of my paychecks into gold coins. Then in a couple of months I'd have so much extra cash I could dive & swim in them like Scrooge McDuck. I'd also buy a top-hat and a monocule
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 9:25 pm
 
she feels like she has been living a fantasy world the last weeks and wants to get back to reality?

Sounds like she's had a good time with you but now she has to get back into "school mode" or something. Or maybe she has to stop smoking so much pot in order to be a "good school girl" - won't have time to have so much sex and is trying to prep you for that change.

Ahhh...smoking pot and good sex....my ex used to smoke a ton of pot, but there was never any good sex to go along with it. good thing i got rid of that one.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 9:34 pm
 
Today's single activity: build a fort in the living room.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 9:37 pm
 
Today's single activity: build a fort in the living room.

Do you have a job? Girls like that.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 9:40 pm
 
Do you have a job? Girls like that.

I do indeed have a job...a pretty good one. I was talking about after I get home.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 9:47 pm
 
thats the mistake most people make, at first they are in love and extra nice, then when the bitch finds out what yer really like, yer done.

I totally agree with this. The more conflict you can go through, the tighter the relationship. I think alot of people wanna recreate the "nice stranger from the first night they met" over and over again for six months instead of actually being themselves. Girls do it, too. But it ain't gonna last long.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 10:19 pm
 
i dunno. i think women finally reach a point when assholes become completely over-rated. nice guys really do win in the end i think. well, i guess it depends on what your definition of "winning" is, but still. an asshole is an asshole is a fuckin asshole. i like being treated well. you can be tight without conflict. plus, great sex doesn't have to be make up sex. arguing makes me feel old.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 10:19 pm
 
being single and bored means you can start a new band, or 5 new bands
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 10:48 pm
 
start a new band

I'm considering that.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 10:48 pm
 
i think women finally reach a point when assholes become completely over-rated.

I don't mean asshole as in "get me my beer, bitch!", I mean asshole as in honest. And not faking being nice. You can be nice and still be an asshole. This is getting vague but you know what I mean. You can treat somebody well without being a fake sissy asskisser.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 10:57 pm
 
point taken.

yeah. start a new band. but stay away from the chicks who love you b/c your new band is so bad ass. she'll only love that about you for a short while, then sooner or later, she'll come up with a million reasons why you should stop playing music.

god, those girls SUCK.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 10:58 pm
 
god, those girls SUCK.

fer real? awesome!!!
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 11:12 pm
 
suck in the way like they use their teeth suck. not the good kind, m t. dont get your hopes up.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 11:15 pm
 
i never understood why girls wanted their boyfriends to stop playing music, making art, etc. i like people to have hobbies and things to do, because i have hobbies and things to do. right now, i'm so married to roller derby and to grad school that i don't have time for someone to be up my ass all the time. i can't stand it when guys want to ALWAYS hang out. it's like "go hang out with your friends PLEASE!" i like to have my own space and they have their own space. that way, we can meet up at the end of the night and actually have something to talk about. maybe hang out together a couple of full days here and there, but not ALL the time. i like having "dates" rather than being up each others' asses all the goddamn time.
Posted: Sep 11, 2006 11:27 pm
 
JACK OFF
JACK OFF
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 12:30 am
 
<i>but stay away from the chicks who love you b/c your new band is so bad ass. she'll only love that about you for a short while, then sooner or later, she'll come up with a million reasons why you should stop playing music.

god, those girls SUCK.


never understood why girls wanted their boyfriends to stop playing music, making art, etc. i like people to have hobbies and things to do, because i have hobbies and things to do. </i>

"The reason they fall in love with you is the same reason they leave you."
-Willie Nelson
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 12:36 am
 
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 12:53 am
 
"The reason they fall in love with you is the same reason they leave you."
-Willie Nelson


nice. still sucks though.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 1:16 am
 
build a fort in the living room.
Equipped with a sign on the door that reads, "He-Mans Club, No Girls Allowed".
nice guys really do win in the end i think.
Haven't you ever heard of the saying,"Nice guys finish last." It's true more often than not. I'm convinced that there is a percentage of women that really do enjoy being treated like dogshit. Don't you remember high school? Just look at reality TV.
i'm so married to roller derby and to grad schooli like to have my own space and they have their own space. that way, we can meet up at the end of the night and actually have something to talk about. maybe hang out together a couple of full days here and there, but not ALL the timeDamn!!! Elle, you are officially breaking my heart. You're going to make an asshole really happy some day.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:17 am
 
You're going to make an asshole really happy some day.

naaa. she's one of the smart ones. no asshole will ever get a chance with a girl like her. probably why she was wise enough to marry the roller derby first. nice move, lauren.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:24 am
 
nope. again, too smart. the first time a dude skipped band practice to hang out with that chick, she'll run over him in her skates. and she'll probably be drunk at the bar when she does it. i'm tellin ya, that girl is the shit!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:25 am
 
fucking all your girl friends friends that you always wanted too
beeing sick deperessed for two weeks.
beeing totally happy for one weekend...meet the next X...
start the misery all over again...
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:30 am
 
my mom always said to me, "be nice to the nerds - those are the good guys who will have good jobs one day." but i'm not sure if that holds true for the record/music nerds i tend to end up with.

best thing i did since losing my "man" = hooking up my beer tap on the kitchen sink! it was supposed to be his "job" to get it going and of course it never happened even though we had all the parts! so fuck that shit - i got done in no time, and now, sweet, sweet ale is pouring right next to the tap water!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:32 am
 
hahah brit, you rock.

so then she'll end up with a pussy.

nah. i don't roll like that. i just don't put up with a terribly large amount of shit from guys anymore. i have an infinite amount of patience so i'm not a total bitch, but if you push me, it's over with. i like my space and i expect someone else to as well. i've dated guys that got on my nerves wanting to be where i was 24/7 and it gets old. i've dated guys before that didn't want to spend ANY time with me at all unless it was just drunk sex time or something stupid like that and that doesn't cut it either. there's a balance in between and that's more of what i am aiming for. people gotta have a life outside of a relationship.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:34 am
 

best thing i did since losing my "man" = hooking up my beer tap on the kitchen sink! it was supposed to be his "job" to get it going and of course it never happened even though we had all the parts! so fuck that shit - i got done in no time, and now, sweet, sweet ale is pouring right next to the tap water!


that sounds absolutely amazing. beer on tap right next to the water...wow. i'm totally jealous. i must find out how to do this. details!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:40 am
 
well, first - i work at a brewery. so free beer all around. but i got sick of all the empty bottles cluttering up the place...

so i got an old (free) fridge in my basement, right underneath my kitchen sink. in there is the keg, co2 tank and regulator. the hose comes outta the fridge, through a hole drilled right through the floor & my kitchen sink cabinet. i have a friend who is a machinest - he took a big ol' piece of stainless steel and made a custom "tower" that fits nicely into the hole that's supposed to be for the soap dispenser. i bought/"borrowed" the rest of the hardware (faucet, shank, tap handle) and wha-la! beer. cold and delicious.

of course now i drink way too much way too fast, but what the hell. elle, if you're even in massachusetts, stop by for a beer.....
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:45 am
 
i must say that's genius. if i had that type of set up, i'd be in the same boat, drinking way too much way too fast. i am not even certain that i'd leave the house at night. hahah.

i'm taking a trip to boston this spring break, provided that my friend living there doesn't move back here or to chicago first...heh. may take you up on that offer. :)
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:47 am
 
but i got sick of all the empty bottles cluttering up the place...

see! that's just it. i found myself cleaning up old Highlife bottles after the last asshole left them all over my house and i just wanted to go throw them straight through the windshield of his redneck, gass eatin' mother fuckin truck! good for you for buildin your own tap. now, keep the motherfuckers out of it!!!!

that is fuggin cooooool.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:47 am
 
so you'll die alone then.

you dont know lauren too well, huh?
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:52 am
 
i'm a nice lady, too. what makes you think that i'll be alone just because i don't let guys be mean to me all the time and i don't like to deal with guys that are up my ass 24/7?
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:53 am
 
i like my space and i expect someone else to as well.

Elle, I have a myspace account, too! We're perfect for each other. Oh...
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:57 am
 
Another thing you can do when single: Blast Thin Lizzy at top volume like I am now. Jesus christ I love this band...JAILBREAK!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 2:57 am
 
i'm taking a trip to boston this spring break, provided that my friend living there doesn't move back here or to chicago first...heh. may take you up on that offer. :)

i'm cereal - lemme know when the time comes, i live about 45 minutes north of boston, but if you wanna come up (there's also the commuter train) and hang out for a night at the brewery/my kitchen tap...you can crash here if you'd like, but then if i ever make it down to memphis you might have to repay the favor!

and so the thing about my free-flowin' beer is that i almost get MAD at myself for making it "his" project and not doing it sooner! what the hell was i thinking?
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 3:12 am
 

i'm cereal - lemme know when the time comes, i live about 45 minutes north of boston, but if you wanna come up (there's also the commuter train) and hang out for a night at the brewery/my kitchen tap...you can crash here if you'd like, but then if i ever make it down to memphis you might have to repay the favor!


nice. and yes, i'd definitely repay the favor.

i need to move the computer out of the bedroom. all i ever get done anymore is getting on the goner board when i need to be reading! if this book i have to read wasn't so damn boring, i would probably get done a lot quicker. heh.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 3:29 am
 
it doesnt matter what you do, being old sucks. iis ok for a very small percentage of people who are actually healthy, but the vast

Even that don't matter if your healthy but your wife/husband is dead. You got grandkids and that's it. Heffner is rocking it still but good luck having his life at that age. Life sucks.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 3:30 am
 
Another thing you can do when single: Blast Thin Lizzy at top volume like I am now. Jesus christ I love this band...JAILBREAK!

oh my god. if i weren't a single goin steady myself, i'd propose to you now. ... heh
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 3:33 am
 
You are now both under arrest for terrorism.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 3:40 am
 
what's your prison like, robin?? i might like it there.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 3:43 am
 
It has absolutely no Thin Lizzy.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 3:50 am
 
It has absolutely no Thin Lizzy.

now that's just plain terrible.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 3:51 am
 
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, TOO, ELLE!!!!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 3:52 am
 
YOU, TOO, BRAD!!!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 3:54 am
 
Fuckin' terrorists... On today of all days.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 4:01 am
 
Oh, you'll be fine. Just keep some grass handy for your lady!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 4:04 am
 
denying people their thin lizzy? you might as well be running gitmo there, robin. i'm calling human rights groups and amnesty international on your ass!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 4:05 am
 
I fell in love with my waitress. We been together for fifteen years, come October.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 4:06 am
 
ELLE, IF YOU LISTEN TO THIN LIZZY, THEN THE TERRORISTS WIN! WE MUST SHOW RESOLVE!!!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 4:21 am
 
they hate us because of our freedom (to listen to thin lizzy).
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 4:22 am
 
fuck, now i'm gonna have to switch from jerry lee to thin lizzy. ok. robin, arrest me. can i bring my Doral cartons????
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 4:24 am
 
Thin Lizzy was from Ireland. They've been in bed with Al Quaeda for years. Probably have WMDs. And that singer fellow, well, I mean, he was...ethnic. Halfway, anyway...
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 4:28 am
 
I am just a cowboy....
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 4:28 am
 
A brokeback cowboy...
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 5:09 am
 
hahahhahhahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

ceralsly, robin. ceralsly.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 7:10 am
 
T
H
I
N

L
I
Z
Z
Y

!!!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 4:37 pm
 
I have been listening to Thin Lizzy non stop too! Weird
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 5:52 pm
 
To get back to the original subject...my brother just decided he's gettin' divorced. Guess he'll be doing some-a those things himself...
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 6:03 pm
 
Guess he'll be doing some-a those things himself...

I recommend the bed-in-the-middle-of-the-room thing. Also, jumping on it while drinking wine straight out of the bottle is fun too.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 6:09 pm
 
the trick is to be an extra big asshole for the first few months of a relationship. if she can put up with that regular you should be no problem. thats the mistake most people make, at first they are in love and extra nice, then when the bitch finds out what yer really like, yer done.

Brad speaks the truth.

I was overly nice to my girlfriend and now when I am even a little bit mean, she goes on about how "nice I was before".

Fuck it.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 7:29 pm
 
Another thing you can do when single: Blast Thin Lizzy at top volume like I am now. Jesus christ I love this band...JAILBREAK!

I've done more than my fair share of rockin Thin Lizzy this summer. Jailbreak is a little overplayed for my tastes tho. Been really diggin the Vagabonds of the Western World. It goes good with anything! Cheap ass beer, expensive irish whiskey, mediocre imported italian wine. Thin Lizzy makes it all seem a little better. Even the utter loneliness & abject misery.

Now if I can only find a way to make my nightmares stop...
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 7:44 pm
 
Now if I can only find a way to make my nightmares stop...

Just don't sleep...that's what I do!!!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 7:46 pm
 
Wanna know what really sucks about being single? Being the only single person you know. I had a handful of faithful companions to commiserate & carouse with in the beginning of my singlehood- but now every one of them has gone and coupled up & I'm still solo (and so low).

I had to go to an engagement party on what was supposed to be my wedding night & the only other single person at the entire party was my ex. Thank gawd the drinks were free. I'm living in hell!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 8:05 pm
 
1. Start an Island Sex Cult
2. Get drunk and talk on message boards about all the things ladies don't talk about
3. Have sex with somebody new and exciting
4. Don't have dinner with your ex and his new girlfriend if she is crazier than you
5. Spend drunken evenings when you are alone figuring out flaws in message boards, causing chaos and getting banned from them
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 8:33 pm
 
the only other single person at the entire party was my ex. Thank gawd the drinks were free. I'm living in hell!

you stayed??????!!!!!!!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 8:44 pm
 
The thing I miss the most is being able to go home in a shitty mood and just sit there happily feeling like shit without somebody whining "what's wrong, whats your problem, quit slamming doors, put that knife down, I'm calling the cops".... blood sucking bitches.
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 8:53 pm
 
UNO> KILL YOURSELF
DOS> KILL SOMEONE ELSE
TRES> KILL THE PRESIDENT



I would suggest switching up one and three
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 8:54 pm
 
go home in a shitty mood and just sit there happily feeling like shit

i love to do that
in the dark, preferrably
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 9:05 pm
 
Blast out the Real Kids at full volume, pick up a guitar and mime along working out cool dance moves. Then start a band and take that shit on stage! Coming out of a long relasionship is EXCUSE NUMBER ONE for getting full-time action and not having to act responsably. But yeah, to recap: REAL KIDS! GIRLS! PLAYING ROCK AND ROLL!
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 9:06 pm
 
Blast out the Real Kids at full volume, pick up a guitar and mime along working out cool dance moves. Then start a band and take that shit on stage! Coming out of a long relasionship is EXCUSE NUMBER ONE for getting full-time action and not having to act responsably. But yeah, to recap: REAL KIDS! GIRLS! PLAYING ROCK AND ROLL!

i knew i liked you
Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:17 pm
 
you stayed??????!!!!!!!

I stayed for a reasonable period of time. I didn't want to disrespect my friends & their happiness in getting engaged n all. I had a convenient escape cause the Melvins show started at 9 & it made the perfect excuse for ditching early. I'm still a bit shaken over how shitty it made me feel tho. WTF am I going to do at the actual wedding in Oct?
Maybe I better go cruise that "pills" thread...
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 12:10 am
 
I didn't want to disrespect my friends & their happiness

did you know your ex was invited? if not, I think they owe you an apology for putting you in a stucky situation.

hhmmm. i think i created a new word- stucky: sticky + sucky
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 1:07 am
 
I knew he was invited. I just didn't think he'd show cause he usually does not. The free booze must have lured him out.
There's no escape- my ex is the lead singer of the groom's band & even tho he wouldn't have known a single person at that entire party if it weren't for me- no one wants to pick sides & everyone just pretty much expects me to deal with it (and I try). I doubt they realized the significance of the date- to me anyways- when they planned the thing. That's what made it extra stucky.

That and the fact that I am the only single person in a friend group of 30+ people. Happy bastards!
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 1:29 am
 
my ex is the lead singer of the groom's band & even tho he wouldn't have known a single person at that entire party if it weren't for me

that sucks. i truly feel for you.
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 1:55 am
 
stucky
Isn't that a restaurant chain?
Thank gawd the drinks were free.
Thats how most people end up getting married.
Thank gawd the drinks were free
Thats how most people end up getting divorced.
"The reason they fall in love with you is the same reason they leave you."
-Willie Nelson

That's fucking genius.
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 2:22 am
 
Isn't that a restaurant chain?

truckstop. windy's having an affair with it.
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 2:42 am
 
get a fleshlight
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 3:05 pm
 
Today's single activity: cook some dinner, eat it right out of the pan.
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 3:14 pm
 
truckstop. windy's having an affair with it.

If you must know, it's Stuckey's. I love stuckey's for the huge pecan log
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 4:50 pm
 
Hey Elle,

When did Memphis get rollerderby?
Let me tell you a little story about being "married" to rollerderby, it's not a very satisfying relationship. I've been doing rollerderby for 3 years and all I have to show for it, is 2 bum knees and a big appetite for whiskey.

So, take my advice, marry yourself to something that will love you back.
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 6:04 pm
 
we got roller derby back in february. i had a big appetite for whiskey and 2 shitty knees before i even started. i'm sure derby isn't gonna help with either of those two ailments. heh. i love it though. just am constantly busy with it.
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 8:41 pm
 
I love stuckey's for the huge pecan log


hehe. . . you said "log."
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 8:58 pm
 
you're a log
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 10:04 pm
 
I love stuckey's for the huge pecan log
gross.gross.gross. who really eats that shit? didn't someone try to give me one for christmas one year? along with a bottle of blueberry syrup?
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 10:09 pm
 
what? you can't be serious. the delicious nugut. . . nogut, wait, how do you spell nougut?

yeah, i do remember those things being around during xmas. with the "sausage" and "cheese" packages.
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 10:11 pm
 
mmm, pecan log dipped in syrup
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 10:33 pm
 
how do you spell nougut?

Ted Nougut
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 10:49 pm
 
nougAt
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 10:51 pm
 
noogitt
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 11:00 pm
 
gnu-guts
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 11:18 pm
 
knewgut
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 11:34 pm
 
nudegut
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 11:55 pm
 
run some speakers into the bathroom
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 11:57 pm
 
TV in the bathroom and or garage.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 12:00 am
 
put the stack of hustler's back next to the toilet.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 12:20 am
 
it's only marraige if you're not having sex anymore.

That of course proves your point about being single.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 12:59 am
 
ode to a black man is not Thin Lizzy
it is Philip Lynott solo
with Huey Lewis on de harp
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 1:10 am
 
so you believe everything that the internet tells you?

I got the vinyl...it says Philip Lynott on the cover, maybe it was a misprint
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 1:19 am
 
Staying single is always a good choice.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 1:24 am
 
i wasnt arguing with you


the fuck you weren't
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 1:43 am
 
gross.gross.gross. who really eats that shit? didn't someone try to give me one for christmas one year? along with a bottle of blueberry syrup?
if memory serves it was the same year you had to sleep in the motorhome and you got a lined flannel shirt

nougat
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 1:48 am
 
a stack of porn next to my bed as well as in the bathroom
at 3am
cranked
all night

You sound single, pervert...
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 2:00 am
 
fuck you heap'em big headed puppet monster
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 2:06 am
 
ummm what....it says THIN LIZZY ALL OVER MY ASS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT MEANS MY ASS IS THIN LIZZY!!!!!!!!!

and message board name...?!?!?!?!?!

this is my name, you retarded redman
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 2:08 am
 
hey brad

I just recorded a half hour of farts and dog howls and am going to make cdrs tomorrow

I'm a call it BRADLEY X AND DIRKA DIRKA DIGGLER GET DOWN WITH THE NOW SOUND!!!!
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 2:13 am
 
You guys are fat.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 2:14 am
 
youse a scud missile
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 2:26 am
 
yes brad, that handsome handsome mugshot is me
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 2:29 am
 
and sorry, ladies
I'm not single
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 2:55 am | Edited by: I am the Arm
 
I've heard a bump on a log and fatboy and tubby and chubs all my life...Scud? That's a gnu one for me.

I like that pic, beef. Still with Ria?

Brad, it's a capital P for Portly.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 3:01 am
 
you mean Ria's still with me

and I'm all about the new style, I invent it and dirk diggler bites it
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 3:02 am
 
sturdy

I like that one, fatboy...
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 3:06 am
 
yeah I'm not fat either
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 3:09 am
 
I am a book, so chew on gay men's hymens
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 3:15 am
 
stick your dick in the comport, snuggles
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 3:21 am
 
things you do when youre married...

wrong thread
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 3:24 am
 
this thread is makin' me dizzy and nauseous
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 3:40 am
 
no shit, no wonder y'all 'suddenly' found youselves single
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:44 am
 
I've been doing rollerderby for 3 years and all I have to show for it, is 2 bum knees and a big appetite for whiskey
I thought rollerderby was fake.
I love stuckey's for the huge pecan log
Is this something that they make there? Or do they prepackage it in some plant New Jersey? I can't believe that they would sell much of it. I like pecans, but I don't like logs.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:54 am
 
I thought rollerderby was fake.

hell no. not anymore at least. we have a lot of injured girls due to concussions, broken ribs, broken arms, sprained ankles, stress fractures, etc. it's definitely not fake. i've been fortunate enough to escape bad injuries. i've had my kneepads slip down and my knees have been skidded up, but that's about it besides the obvious bruises from getting slammed into by girls twice my size. when you're on wheels going fast and have so many other chicks trying their damnedest to knock you off of those wheels, it's definitely not out of the realm of possibility of getting hurt pretty bad.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 1:14 pm
 
Today's single activity: slide down the stairs on a mattress.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 3:23 pm
 
another good thing: not having to shave your legs every day!
downside: forgetting that you haven't shaved all week and putting on shorts, not that i did that today or anything, but you know, it could happen...........
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 3:55 pm
 
Today's single activity: slide down the stairs on a mattress.

speaking from experience, that shit is FUN AS HELL!

also fun, getting all the mattresses in the house if you live with a lot of people and jumping off the second level inside the house onto them. this only works if you have an area like this: http://www.lizfrey-relocation.com/images/wohnungen/pasing_splitlevel.J PG

you can jump from the top level to the open area of the floor beneath where all the mattresses are at.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 3:58 pm
 
i'm a fan of "ice skating" on the hardwood floors in my socks
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:10 pm
 
i'm a fan of "ice skating" on the hardwood floors in my socks

wait, were you in Risky Business?
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:13 pm
 
you're a risky business
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:20 pm
 
Okay, what are some good things to do for your girl on the first birthday of hers that you celebrate?

i think that deserves its own thread. but, how long have you known her? a coupla weeks? right?
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:25 pm
 
so, not very long. i'd say nothing oer the top or really elaborate. what kinds of things does she like to do besides screwing all the time? and do you really "like" her or are you just friendly and having regular sex?
email me if you don't want all this online
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:31 pm
 
Get her a rape whistle. Don't rape her, though.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:34 pm
 
Take her to Chucky Cheeze.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:37 pm
 
dinner is usually good. fruit basket seems a little informal
try to think of something she has told you that she likes and then go get it for her. doens't have to be big, but she will like it that you remembered
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:38 pm
 
pretty wrapping is good too.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:38 pm
 
try to think of something she has told you that she likes and then go get it for her. doens't have to be big, but she will like it that you remembered

Do girls really like that sort of thing? Fer real??
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:40 pm
 
Do girls really like that sort of thing? Fer real??

yeah. one time this guy sent me a box of music that i like and some post-it notes because he remembered that i told him i liked office supplies.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:43 pm
 
Do a dance for her.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 4:50 pm
 
how much time do you have before the birthday? get her talking abotu stuff she likes between now and then.

as for trying too hard, eh. if you like her and she likes you, you won't be trying too hard. don't be desperate, use some sense. last resort, think of the kind of gift you would appreciate - is it always something expensive or flashy? probably not - you would probably be just as excited about something that was well thought out and took a little extra effort than something big.

flowers could be good - but don't automatically go for the dozen roses, find out what other kind she likes and get those instead....yo can do it, but you jsut have to think about it a little and tweak it to what she like, not what i like or the other girls on here like.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 5:18 pm
 

Do girls really like that sort of thing? Fer real??


YES. if you got me something i told you that i liked that wasn't too expensive (because if it was too expensive, it'd be definitely trying too hard after only 1 month), it would mean that you are actually LISTENING to what i say.

as far as flowers go, roses are generic. i agree with windy, go for what the lady likes.

dinner is always good. well, if she is food driven as i am...heh.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 5:28 pm
 
There you go. Get her a Triumph album.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 5:29 pm
 
...And remember to fight the good fight everyday.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 5:35 pm
 
Make her give you a birthday blowjob first thing in the morning!
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 5:39 pm | Edited by: Windy
 
feeling a little gay knowing she's gonna like what you did is surely worth it?

good for you for checking out the flower she likes.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 5:39 pm
 
Make her give you a birthday blowjob first thing in the morning!
you might be surprised how many more blow jobs you'll get from gifts like that instead of being an asshole.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 5:42 pm
 
Josh,
you're going overboard
the flower encylcopedia thing is weird

Just let her do whatever she wants on her birthday, even if it doesn't include you and then the next day give her a really good fucking and say "Happy birthday".

(and only take Muddy's advice if you share his physique)
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 5:43 pm
 
This is all very cute.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 5:50 pm
 
VLC!
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:06 pm
 
Josh,
you're going overboard
the flower encylcopedia thing is weird


whatever dude. he's never had a serious girlfriend before - maybe there's a reason - maybe he takes advice like yours? there's a time and place for the really good fucking, but c'mon a little romance goes a long, long way.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:11 pm
 
Romance?
No way.
When you jsut met someone romantic shit is just that: creepy.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:11 pm
 
Windy, you're fabulous!

shhh...don't tell anybody
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:12 pm
 
flowers, kittens, gumdrops, unicorns, satin pillow kisses...

You should probably give her half your medication for the herpes, really. And maybe a card; "Sorry 'bout the herpes!"
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:13 pm
 
When you jsut met someone romantic shit is just that: creepy.

only if you're insincere. a month is long enough to take someone to a nice dinner and give them flowers, especially when there's an occassion.

showing up at her house at 3 am with 5 dozen flowers unexpectedly is creepy
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:15 pm
 
josh, seriously, keep it simple, bacause if you do something elaborate and you do end up together for a long time she'll expect it every year.

i agree, but he can still do a little something extra besides getting her drunk like one of the guys
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:17 pm
 
like bradx said, you don't have to ditch. go do something together first, then meet up with the firends later
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:19 pm
 
Wait, I thought she broke it off with you to get into skool mode?
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:19 pm
 
Roofies are pretty sweet, too.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:20 pm | Edited by: Windy
 
never trust a woman to tell you what women really want

harsh! i'm offering friendly advice that he can take or leave. i know what i like and what i hear my female friends wishing they had. lots of girls might not admit it, but they like that kind of stuff, even if it's only from time to time.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:20 pm
 
drunk with functionality is the best present a man can give.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:21 pm
 
Let her go out with her friends and after then go home take her pants off.

When's the wedding?
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:22 pm
 
Ummm, I'm telling todd... He's gonna depants you in front of her friends.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:22 pm
 
Take Arm's advice, he knows how to treat the ladies, for real
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:24 pm
 
Hire a mariachi band to play tears for fears covers in front of her house at midnight. Girls love that shit.
Posted: Sep 14, 2006 6:25 pm | Edited by: Windy
 
Let her go out with her friends and after then go home take her pants off.


i'm telling you, if you add a little bit of the mushy stuff, she will probably take her own pants off ;less work for you
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