Goner Message Board
 | Forums | Register | Reply | Search | Statistics | Manual |
Goner Message Board / ???? / Snakes On A Plane...
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 6:30 am
 
is the greatest movie ever made!
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 8:07 am
 
you saw this?
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 9:33 am
 
There's a movie called Snakes on A Plane?
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 12:56 pm
 
Tits on a Bull?
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 5:18 pm
 
The 'Snakes' Are Here
Let's get one thing straight: "Snakes on a Plane" is a not a great movie.

The acting is consistently one-dimensional. The premise, as the title suggests, is beyond ludicrous. And the musical score is so unsophisticated that it makes the Axel F theme from "Bevery Hills Cop" sound remarkably fresh and innovative.

Yet, somehow, watching "Snakes on a Plane"? A totally great experience.

It helps to see a sold-out late show on opening night at the AMC Loews Georgetown, which was packed with teenage and college-age fans who already were stoked well before the first reptile revealed its beady little eyes. These kids applauded feverishly for virtually anything: The opening titles, the first appearance of Samuel L. Jackson, the plane's take-off, every snake attack and, of course, that much-awaited line of dialogue, "I have had it with these mother [bleeping] snakes on this mother [bleeping] plane!" Oh, and the "Borat" trailer. They really loved that, too.

As for "SoaP," it's basically everything that months and months of incessant Internet buzz led us to expect. The plot essentials: A surfer dude in Hawaii accidentally witnesses a murder committed by well-known assassin Eddie Kim. After some persuasion by FBI tough guy Nelville Flynn (Jackson, natch) Surfer Dude agrees to testify against Kim in L.A. Why L.A.? Because if Surfer Dude didn't have to go there, he wouldn't have to get on a plane. Hello? Keep up.

Anyhoo, long story short, the assassin and his cronies manage to sneak several hundred exotic snakes onto a South Pacific Air flight, get the venemous suckers all hopped up on pheremones, then let them loose amongst an unsuspecting group of passengers.

All manner of human body parts get bitten including, but not limited to, a few necks, a hand, a backside, an eyeball, a female breast and a man's privates. (Lesson learned: Check the toilet for snakes BEFORE you go to the bathroom.) These passengers aren't wimps, though. They're willing to fight back using whatever means necessary: Axes, fire extinguishers, karate chops and, in one touching homage to the movie "Gremlins," a microwave oven. By movie's end, the death count lands somewhere between 10 and 15 by my estimate, not counting the dog and the cat. But I may have forgetten a corpse or two, what with all the yelling and confusion ... and that was just from the audience in the theater.

In short, "Snakes on a Plane" is pure escapist fun and absolutely nothing more. If I had happened upon it while flipping through cable channels at home, I might have turned it off after the first hour. But in a crowded theater, the whole thing is a big, semi-gory, campy, mother [bleeping] gas. I mean, where else can you hear actor Bobby Cannavale announce, "I can't believe I'm saying this but I need the best poisonous snake expert in this time zone"? I'll tell you this: He sure didn't get to utter dialogue like that in "The Station Agent."
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 5:23 pm
 
This looks like my kind of film
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 5:50 pm
 
I really, really hope this sparks at least somewhat of a resurgence in trashy, ridiculous fun movies like the grindhouse type stuff from the 70\'s (I know Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez are already doing that \"Grindhouse\" pseudo-double feature...). It\'s gotta be pretty cost effective for studios, and it\'ll DEFINITELY be better than most of the nonsense that\'s being released these days.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 5:52 pm
 
it\'ll DEFINITELY be better than most of the nonsense that\'s being released these days.

WHat do you have against milquetoast romantic comedies?
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 6:27 pm
 
there are no snakes in hawaii.

completely unrealistic. i will not see such mind-numbing pap.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 6:27 pm
 
there are no snakes in hawaii.

Mongooses rule!
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 6:35 pm
 
(I know Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez are already doing that \"Grindhouse\" pseudo-double feature...).

Apparently they've widened the scope of Grindhouse so it will in fact be two 90 minute movies (rather than 60 mins), with fake trailers in between.

We're gonna see SoAP at the Drive In (where the good lord intended) on Sunday. Hells yes.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 6:46 pm
 
haha, there are no snakes in hawaii, but the movie answers that by showing us that the "evil crime boss" imports deadly snakes from all around the world and loads em onto a plane, but not before spraying every Lei in the airport, to be put on passengers when leaving hawaii, with huge amounts of pheromones, thus driving the snakes insane in an attempt to wreck the plane and kill the witness.

ALL MAKES SENSE NOW HUH?!!!

haha, i saw this at a midnight sneak preview last night with a packed crowd that recited every tag line out loud and screamed profnaity's and even came dressed in stewardess costumes.

RETARDED! I dug it!
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 6:48 pm
 
yeah, it's rocky horror all over... except with snakes and samLjackson!
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 6:49 pm
 
with fake trailers in between.

they will probably be the best things ever!
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 7:16 pm
 
I'm suprised Larry Cohen doesn't have something to do with SoaP. He wrote the script to SoaP director Ellis' last flick, the equally ludicrous-but-fun ""Cellular." Larry Cohen rules.

I read an article about the SoaP phenomenon that said that in some hipster circles the film's title has become a catch phrase equivalent to "shit happens."

Dude #1: Man, my car got broken into last night. Fuck.
Dude #2: Yeah, that sucks. Snakes on a plane, man. Snakes on a motherfucking plane.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 7:24 pm
 
don't let scott fool you. it was terrible. the best thing about the movie was the angry black man in on the other end of our row who stood up and screamed at the kids behind him to "shut the hell up goddammit! I paid $8 fucking dollars to see this movie! show some goddam respect!"

I thought we were gonna get shot, he was that mad.
it would have been better at a ghetto theater.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 8:05 pm
 
I wish this many people would care about newer bad movies that aren't intentional.

I wanna see a big battlefield earth revival with the kids.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 8:10 pm
 
don't let scott fool you. it was terrible. the best thing about the movie was the angry black man in on the other end of our row who stood up and screamed at the kids behind him to "shut the hell up goddammit! I paid $8 fucking dollars to see this movie! show some goddam respect!"

I thought we were gonna get shot, he was that mad.
it would have been better at a ghetto theater.


That wasn't a ghetto theater?
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 8:18 pm
 
nope - paradiso (east memphis prep school teens and one row of computer geeks). i'm convinced it would have been brilliant at peabody place downtown. and if I had had more than one jack and coke.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 8:26 pm
 
I wanna see a big battlefield earth revival with the kids.

i don't.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 8:52 pm
 
i bet that would be hilarious at the peabody place theater. i haven't seen a movie there since "high tension", which a bunch of us jerks all went and saw, drinking sparks and yelling shit at the screen. muddy spear was there. he could tell ya about how stupid that got. other people in the theater were yelling shit too. i love that place. heh. it's the theater to go to if you wanna reenact mystery science theater with your friends cuz no one gets mad cuz everyone is yelling shit at the screen.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 9:06 pm
 
Stewardess is the only word you can type with one hand on the keyboard, using traditional English typing.
Bullshit.
war
were
sad
fret
car
scare
...
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 9:06 pm
 
Ah, I see.
Thank you for the clarification.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 9:16 pm
 
ass
awe
art
qwerty
farce
fart
safe
caster
daze
fade
race
sax
trace
serate
darts
faders
west
warts
rates
rats
frat
wares
carts
sew
sweat
swear
dare
reds
qwest

this is just like boggle!!!
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 9:22 pm
 
and if I had had more than one jack and coke.

you should have snuck some in your purse and just bought cokes at the movie

more is more!
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 9:37 pm
 
Summer Drive-in bound, hound.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 9:51 pm
 
my real player events thing just popped up a clip from this movie while i was reading this. i think they are in my computer. or at least my brain. fuck snakes on a brain!!!
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 10:34 pm
 
stewardesses is the longest word you can type with your left hand, while lollipop is the longest word you can type using only your right hand. (doing traditional typing, not hunt and peck.)
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 11:22 pm
 
And the musical score is so unsophisticated that it makes the Axel F theme from "Bevery Hills Cop" sound remarkably fresh and innovative.

whatever! that theme song kicks ass! fuck this guy.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 11:22 pm
 
that was my first f-word of the day.
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 11:51 pm
 
I saw Samuel F. on the Daily show promoting the flick. He was hilarious. They showed the "I have had it with these mother [bleeping] snakes on this mother [bleeping] plane!" clip, too. Cracked me up.
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 2:06 am
 
It was so bad its was good. People in the theater were hootin and hollerin the whole movie. It was very fun.
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 2:33 am
 
Snakes on a plane/ Miami Vice - Sunday night at the Summer drive-in- dusk- Any of you Memphis folks want to join us?
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 3:34 am
 
Yes, yes. YES!!!
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 4:32 am
 
And the musical score is so unsophisticated that it makes the Axel F theme from "Bevery Hills Cop" sound remarkably fresh and innovative.

whatever! that theme song kicks ass! fuck this guy.


The Beverly Hills Cop theme is OFF THE HOOK.

and the movie was GREAT!
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 11:22 am
 
Drive-In? Sunday night? I think I could be talked into seeing it again.
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 8:38 pm
 
Drive-In? Sunday night? I think I could be talked into seeing it again.

and miss flavor of love and/or the william shatner roast?
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 9:33 pm
 
SUNDAY NIGHT FRIGHTS!!!
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 11:19 pm
 
and miss flavor of love and/or the william shatner roast?
Both of which will be rerun a hundred times in the coming week.
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 12:17 am | Edited by: Rachelandthecity
 
I am totally down for a trip to the drive in!
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 12:36 am
 
i'm gonna go to the drive-in tonight to see descent before heading to the hi tone. i wouldn't mind going back and seeing snakes on a plane tomorrow night. i love the drive-in. boozin' it up and watching movies.
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 1:16 am
 
Let's all go!!! We're going for sure, so anybody that wants to car-pool it down there give me a call or write back.

Hey Windy, I'm one of the few people who does not have cable. There any way you can tape that roast ?
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 1:18 am
 
jerry - one word

bit-torrent-yo
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 1:52 am
 
Descent is playing with SnakesOaP as a double feature at my local drive-in. Hmmmmmmmm.
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 5:10 am
 
The first two snake-related deaths (both of which happen in the plane's lavs) are fucking classic.
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 4:05 pm
 
You'll have to tell me how it ended as I ended up having to leave early from a THC overdose. Fucking Pac NW marijuana, fuck you.
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 5:34 pm
 
Descent is playing with SnakesOaP as a double feature at my local drive-in. Hmmmmmmmm.

Valley 6 is pairing SoAP with Superman Returns. Laaaaame.
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 6:50 pm
 
You'll have to tell me how it ended as I ended up having to leave early from a THC overdose. Fucking Pac NW marijuana, fuck you.

The snakes did it.
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 7:43 pm
 
Snakes+Shaking Airplanes Headed for Doom+Pot Brownie=UTTER HELL!!!!!!
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 9:42 pm
 
hah. i went to see the descent last night at the drive in. i don't think i will be able to go into a cave for a good while now. freaky slimy batboy looking shits crawling around = freaked out lauryn. the pulse, however, was probably the stupidest shit movie i've seen in a while. the one person i wanted to get killed in the movie actually survived the entire thing. damn it. i've heard it is a remake. i hope the original was better than this one cuz this one sucked the big fat donkey cock.

but...

snakes on a plane! tonight! summer drive-in! yeah!
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 9:49 pm
 
I heard it suxxx. And by sucks, I don't mean in the standard sense of the word, I mean it sucks in that it's not campy enough to live up to expectations. Like it's just boring...but not too bad. Yaaaaaaawn. I'm already over this.

Hey guys but THIS is cool:

"I'm RICK JAMES BIAAATCH!"


hahahah

"I'm RICK JAMES BITCH!"

hahahaha

lol.
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 9:50 pm
 
I'M RICK JAMES BITCH AND I DON'T WANT NO MUTHAFUCKING SNAKES ON MY MUTHAFUCKING PLAAAAAANE!

LOL LOL


I gotta blog this!
Posted: Aug 20, 2006 10:40 pm
 
what is this movie about?
Posted: Aug 21, 2006 7:29 pm
 
Was the movie good. By the time we left outback, it was raining and didn't feel like sitting in that stuff.

I'm sure it was funny
Posted: Aug 22, 2006 9:05 pm
 
It was more enjoyable than it had any right to be. The insane lightning in the Memphis sky also enhanced our experience during the "turbulence." The alcohol and popcorn also helped. Irwin Allen would be proud,
Posted: Aug 22, 2006 9:06 pm
 
why won't you people tell me what this movie is about?
Posted: Aug 22, 2006 9:10 pm | Edited by: fierydrunk
 
The insane lightning in the Memphis sky also enhanced our experience during the "turbulence."

This (the "turbulance") is what put me over into Total Crazyville. I was fine before that--pretty successful paranoia-exacerbating filmwork/pot brownie. If I had been outdoors, things would have not turned out half as bad, I bet.
Posted: Aug 22, 2006 10:03 pm
 
I think the movie's about how electric cars were killed off by the big oil companies. Yep. That's what it's about.

Cort, it's official. I'm moving back over to Blythe st. I myself don't really understand what I'm doing, but it has to be better over there than here? Maybe? Yes? Possibly?
Posted: Aug 22, 2006 10:05 pm
 
there's already been pranksters letting live snakes loose in the theaters.
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/8316965.html#cutid1
Posted: Aug 22, 2006 10:13 pm
 
Cort, it's official. I'm moving back over to Blythe st.

Cool, then it'll be more convenient to swing by and pick you up on the way to the shooting range.
Posted: Aug 22, 2006 10:51 pm
 
yeah, i ended up not going because of the rain too. maybe it'll still be running this weekend and i can go check it out.
Posted: Aug 22, 2006 11:28 pm
 
Maybe we can just have shooting practice right there on the street.
Posted: Aug 23, 2006 5:51 pm
 
some dude told me this guy
in phoenix smuggled two
rattlesnakes into a theater and
let em loose during the premiere...
any truth to this?
Posted: Aug 23, 2006 6:01 pm
 
Posted: Aug 24, 2006 11:53 am
 
That's totally bitchin'!
Posted: Aug 24, 2006 3:53 pm
 
... THEY'LL DRIVE YOU INSAAAAAAANE -
THOSE GODDAMN SNAKES ON A PLAAAAAAANE!
Posted: Aug 24, 2006 4:48 pm
 
some dude told me this guy in phoenix smuggled two rattlesnakes into a theater and let em loose during the premiere... any truth to this?

Oh that's nothin'. When I saw Do the Right Thing, there were two black guys in the theater!
Posted: Aug 24, 2006 6:40 pm
 
Officials believe the snakes were smuggled into the theater in backpacks.

Well that's a cool theatre if they let the movie goers bring in backpacks so you can smuggle in your own food so you don't have to spend $10,000 at the consession stand...
Posted: Aug 25, 2006 2:25 am
 
So retarded was that movie. The guy getting his pecker attacked by a snake was so stupid, it was funny. That was one of two highlights, and of course the stripper-ish looking whore whose naked nipple got attacked, that was the other highlight.
Posted: Aug 25, 2006 2:42 am
 
So retarded was that movie.


what are you, yoda?
Posted: Aug 25, 2006 2:57 am
 
Well that's a cool theatre if they let the movie goers bring in backpacks so you can smuggle in your own food so you don't have to spend $10,000 at the consession stand...

There's movie theaters that don't let you bring in backpacks??? That's fucked!

I saw SoaP at a drive-in in North Carolina over the weekend. It was pretty much what you'd expect .. no better, no worse. Cause of all the internet hype they spent 5 million dollars on advertising in New York alone. Then it just made $15 million opening weekend, so it's considered a disappointment to the studio.

If you have a choice between the two, go see the Descent ... it's waay better.
Posted: Aug 25, 2006 4:04 am
 
what are you, yoda?
What are you a choad,huh?
Top
Your Reply Click this icon to move up to the quoted message
 

 
Only registered users are allowed to post here. Please, enter your username/password details upon posting a message, or register first.

 
  Goner Message Board Powered by PHP Forum Software miniBB ®