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Goner Message Board / ???? / Why not just throw a wrench at my head?
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 5:01 pm
My dad is going throw a divorce with is third wife and there's been some questions about land and such. My dad was an only child and is the only one to have ever seen the will my grandparents and was in charge of taking care and doling out what was left of their money/property (they originally owned the land in question). Anyway, I contacted an attorney to get some answers (partially by my dad's blessing cuz he admits to screwing up and that I have just as much right to declare and interest on things rather than my stepmom getting 50 percent of everything. Well, now things are getting weird and I get the impression that my old man is worried that I'm gonna find out things may have not been done the way they were suppose to be. This is just speculation but here's the reason for speculation...He think's there's a chance I may not be his biological child and wants me to take a DNA test so he knows for sure. Okay, I just turned 40 this year....And this is the first time I've ever even heard a rumor like this. What the fuck?!?! This is all I need on top of being unemployed and depression bouts.

I told the old man "Sure, let's do it long as you are paying for it." Still pretty fucked up though don't ya think? I don't have much resembelence to my father physically (especially compared to my brother) but there are plenty of similarities of his father and me...I dunno but it sure seems like some fucked up shit to me.
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 7:16 pm
Damn that sucks, Dale.
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 7:25 pm
Is your mom still alive? What has she had to say about it? As long as your dad loves you I guess...
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 7:31 pm
My mom's still alive...but is sort of crazy anyway and likes to exaggerate, stretch the truth or just make up something. I love her and everything but I would be getting nowhere asking her. According to my old man he confronted her about it a few years and she got all huffy trying to twist the story and never giving my old man a straight up answer.

I don't really know where me and my dad stand...Growing up was sorta fucked up in a lot of ways for me.

I'm just sorta in a daze the last couple of days now because of the whole thing...Kinda gone into French film/dark humor mode to deal with it. Mades for some interesting writing and some lyrics I've been working on though.
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 7:36 pm
That is some wierd shit to have occuring all of a sudden, but I know a few people who've been through similar shakeups with family skeletons coming out and what not. In a way, if you aren't biologically your pop's kid it's probably something you're better equipped to deal with now than say, when you were 14. I hope everything turns out alright for you, and don't let it get you down.
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 7:38 pm
There ya go. Make a few songs out of it then let it go. After this shit's figured out, some time will put it behind you.
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 9:25 pm
Whoa, Dale! That's pretty crazy, and I can't even imagine learning something lke that at 40. Hope it all turns out o.k., and yeah, throw some of that crazy-thought into a creative outlet like some songs. Best therapy ever.
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 10:01 pm
that's screwed up. even if you weren't his biological son, you would think that after all this time, it wouldn't matter since he was your father all the way along, at least that you knew. you know what i'm saying? i think that he needs to grow up and quit being petty. you don't say things like that to your kids.
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 10:15 pm
It's true. I don't have kids but the cardinal sin in parenting, I think, is to ever give your kid the impression they aren't loved.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 6:43 am | Edited by: dale
I just can't figure out what the motive is behind it? And why now. It has had me thinking about a lot of things (especially while growing up.) I've heard from a lot of people that my dad can be a self centered emotionless prick but my folks divorced when I was 8 and he wasn't around everyday so I guess I never noticed it much and I refused to believe it anyway (even when his own mother told me so) cuz he is my dad. Man, What a dick.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 6:56 am
I'm taking it in stride pretty well but it does leave me dumbfounded and sort of numb. Bitching about in Gonerville has helped a bit.

Ya should've heard the long tyrade the misses went off on the old man's answering machine. Pop hasn't even picked up the phone since then I think. Didn't want the wife to get involved but she's not one to hide her feelings. ME, I'm like "Yeah, whatever dude. It's your money...though I think it's retarded that you're all of a sudden concerned about it now..." I think it has a lot to do with his track record of marrying insane women and it's some type of emotional purging...but it's still a bunch of bullshit.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 6:58 am
fuck the money, man. you're about to find out if your dad is really your DAD. . . . crazy. that is alot to deal with.

jesus h christ man. is right. you'll deal though. humans are, despite what people say, really are equipped for this type of shit. trust me, the wrench really would be way worse.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 7:07 am
It's wasn't about the money in the first place...It was more of the principal of the thing at first. Maybe that's why my dad is thinking I'm not really his cuz it is more about the principal than the payoff (though if I am entitled to cash that he covered up and got it for himself you're damn straight I'm gonna take it.

My wife pointed out "He's trying to cause shit between you and your mom at least subconciously" which is funny cuz I'm not really close to my mom either. I talk to her fairly regullarly though cuz she loves her grandkids and her and my stepdad (who I used to give a lot of shit when I was a teenager but realized many years ago he's an alright guy...if just for putting up with my mom's craziness for as long as he has) watch them when I go out job hunting and such but I think it's funny how both of them always thought I was the mentally unbalanced fuck up...
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 7:16 am
its sad but true that one never knows what their family is really made of until they are faced with death and/or divorce and by extension, the divvying up of stuff.

dale, i feel for you.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 7:25 am
its sad but true that one never knows what their family is really made of until they are faced with death and/or divorce and by extension, the divvying up of stuff.

that, theresa, is the fucking honest to god truth.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 7:28 am
The thing is my grandparents LOVED us three grandkids A LOT. And neither of them really liked my stepmom. My middle brother (who looks a lot like my dad) has gotten close to 40 grand out of my old man the since my grandpa died. Grandma has alzhiemers...my dad was then in charge of her money. It was wierd how after my grandpa died and my dad started a few business and owned 3 pieces of property all of a sudden. My grandpa made a lot of wise investments and both him and my grandma had good jobs. There was a pretty nice amount of cash left behind The fact that we never saw the will (which my dad said he seems to have misplaced at the moment) makes me wonder more and more what was suppose to be done. I guess it just pisses me off that my stepmom could end up with more than any of the actual grand kids. I mean, The wife and I do our best and bust our ass to get things like new windows, a new roof, a new bathroom etc in our house and my stepmom hasn't even worked in 10 years (though she can but doesn't see why she should) gets to walk away with so much.

I guess I'm just repeating myself but man, my folks are batty.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:54 pm
Don't wills have to be filed in probate court, and are a matter of public record? Did your grandpa have a lawyer make out the will?
Sorry for you. Family does indeed get screwy about what's left. It was very ugly when my paternal grandmother died. I haven't seen my father once since (8 years ago) and probably never will again.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 2:24 pm
hey theresa doesn't dale have just as much claim to his father's estate even if he isn't his biological son??? it isn't dale's fault whatever happened an legally he is his son. i would go see a good lawyer asap an secure your rights to the old prick's assets dale. peoples is crazy...
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 4:52 pm
Don't wills have to be filed in probate court, and are a matter of public record?

That's what I would think too...BUT for some reason I having problems acessing public records concerning it. The whole thing is fishy.

Okay, I'm off on the job hunt for a couple hours again.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 8:37 pm
Good luck.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 8:49 pm
Don't wills have to be filed in probate court, and are a matter of public record?

yes they do, however, there are so many things one can do these days to transfer property, etc in order to avoid probate - and it has been the trend for the last 15 years or so - its supposed to make it easier on the survivors - if there is no will and a person who believes they are a beneficiary has a claim or wants to make one, there is a procedure whereby you petition the court to act as if the person died intestate (w/o a will) and then the whole family/next of kin lineage thing will kick in - but it is such a huge fucking hassle. and ridiculously time consuming

if its already difficult now...
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 11:04 pm
i would love to throw a wrench at your head dale. how many tries do i get??? do i win a prize if i hit your head??? bein from the midwest i bet you got a really big head.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 12:00 am | Edited by: dale
That's just people in Wisconsin.

Will you sign my Nightmares 45 for me?

You'd probably blow out your arm.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 3:16 am
fuck you that single got us in the first 5 issues of spin an high times an i even got nominated for a new york music award in '86 for best song vs. the ramones, lou reed an run-dmc. the nightmares rule!!!

ps you can hear bruce bennett from th abones singin baseball altamont on the new yo la tengo cd murderin the classics.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 3:24 am
But will you sign my copy?
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 3:24 am
He's lying again, dale...
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 3:32 am
hey i just got a great idea for gonerfest. you know those soak a dope booths with the water an the guy sittin on a plank an you throw baseballs at a target an if you hit it the guy goes into the water??? well instead of a target an baseballs losers could just throw wrenches at dale's head an if they hit him he'll get knocked out an fall into the water.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 3:39 am
Or you could write a song about it.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 3:42 am
but then it might get made into a wildly successful single an you might buy it an keep askin me to sign it for you....

i think we should stick with the booth idea.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 3:43 am | Edited by: dale
I paid 25 cents for the Nightmares single.

Wouldn't you have to find someone that would want to put out your single before it anyone could buy it and make it become wildly succesful?
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 3:48 am
hey i just got a great idea for gonerfest
What do you care? It ain't like you're coming down to drink whiskey with me, anyways...
Fuckin' liar.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 3:51 am
i got mine for free. loser.

an at least i know who my father is...
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 3:52 am
Liar. You don't know who you're daddy is.
Much less, your mom.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 3:58 am | Edited by: dale
i got mine for free. loser.

Couldn't find anyone to buy it, huh?

No worries...I never paid anything for any of the Action Swingers records in my collection either.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 4:00 am
yeah it only sold about 5,000 copies. that's only 4,700 more than anything you've ever put out.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 4:03 am
Closer to 4,000 but yeah...there were at least 3 promos sent to my high school radio station at the time.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 4:05 am
are you sure this guy isn't really your father??? you seem like as big a douchebag as him...
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 4:10 am
Only when you're around
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 4:42 am
maybe it's a nature vs. nurture thing. i wonder if your real father had a failed record label too...
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 4:57 am | Edited by: dale
Nope, just some businesses that he can't figure out on how to make a profit on.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 6:25 am
I once found out that my brother was actually my exhusband.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 6:49 am
dale, you dont need any more hard time right now. "fuck the bullshit, it's time to throw down!. ... ."
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 6:50 am
diggler, stop it.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 6:48 pm
No worries. I live in a town full of retards and bitter old fuckers. Thick skin's paid off. Ned's child's play..
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 11:21 pm
i don't know why you're always so hostile toward me dale. when you were lookin for a guitar for your son who steered you in the right direction (even though you didn't take my advice an buy him the g-310)??? who tried to make bob burns into a big star even though i've never even heard the guy( a promo would be nice bob. maybe i could open some door for you.) that enough already lp in your collection-guess who asked the label guy to send it you (an then you were a total asshole an didn't even review it)??? now your asshole father is tryin to write you outta his will an who advised you to see a lawyer about it??? go ahead an keep bein an asshole if you want. i don't give a shit.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 11:34 pm
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 11:40 pm
you fuckin heard me.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 11:44 pm
Not over all that noise.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 11:50 pm
i think any fair minded person can now see who the asshole is dale.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 11:50 pm
I'm sure of that.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 11:52 pm
so am i. asshole.
Posted: Aug 15, 2006 11:53 pm
Posted: Aug 16, 2006 4:01 am
Hey, you guys know that Ned lives off of his girlfriend, so take it easy on him, alright? Got to be tough on the self esteem of a 40-something genius.

When it gets really tough, Ned, try telling yourself again that you truly favor that $100 Epiphone over the Gibson you sold for beer money.
Posted: Aug 16, 2006 2:29 pm
dude you are really stupid if you think the new gibsons are even playable let alone better than the epi g-310. (it was $199. does dink diggler ever get her facts straight???)
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