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Goner Message Board / ???? / how to impress girls.
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 5:31 am
 
i need help. WHat do you reccomend?..ive tried Polo Cologne, Pink IZODS...sandals.. DAMN..i just cant get it!!
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 5:33 am
 
i have found that huge sums of cash works fairly well.
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 5:37 am
 
join a band
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 5:44 am
 
if i weren't sorta drunk now, i wouldn't tell you to get me drunk. but, because i am. .. . .



get me drunk.
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 5:46 am
 
ive tried Polo Cologne, Pink IZODS...sandals..

sounds like you are trying harder to pick up some mens, chris. heh.
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 10:49 am
 
Repair/replace the brakes on her car!!
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 11:41 am
 
Repair/replace the brakes on her car!!

speaking of which, i need that done.
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 2:07 pm
 
Arrogance and indifference seems to work pretty well.
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 2:10 pm
 
Arrogance and indifference seems to work pretty well.

acting more interested in their less attractive friends seems to be a date maker, too. God, love the ladies...
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 2:24 pm
 
Don't try to get up her skirt in the first five minutes, the first time you're alone with her. Girls hate that.

The best way to be interesting is to be interested.
Listen to what she has to say.

Repairing her brakes would work well, too... but you could probably get the same kudos if you fixed her dripping bathroom faucet, and it would take a lot less effort.
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 3:12 pm
 
Tell them that you have three kids by three different mothers, and you're $50,000 behind in child support. It seemed to work for the guys on the Girl, Don't Date Him website
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 3:34 pm
 
Gold chains & speedos. For picking up chicks at the library.
Posted: Aug 8, 2006 3:46 pm
 
three kids by three different mothers, and you're $50,000 behind in child support. It seemed to work for the guys on the Girl, Don't Date Him website
And on Judge Hatchett.
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 8:17 pm
 
some chick said my spaghetti face was sexy.
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 8:26 pm
 
1.)make Brett clean the aprtment
2.)stop posting on the Goner Board
3.)kill Brett
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 8:41 pm
 
of course, many girls are not impressed by anything
we have x-ray vision and can tell when you're fronting
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 9:33 pm
 
Just whip it out. They love that.
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 9:34 pm
 
wear a bandana!
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 9:35 pm
 
Grow a large cock.
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 9:36 pm
 
tell 'em you know me.
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 10:07 pm | Edited by: Jasper de Wilde
 
tell 'em you know a guy that knows me.
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 10:21 pm
 
Lower your standards a little.

Most people are 40% less attractive than they think they are. To increase your success rate, start approaching girls who are 40% less attractive than what you find ideal. Less attractive girls might think you're the cock of the walk, while beautiful women may not have given you the time of day in the past . At first, you might feel repulsed by the whole thing. However, you'll be surprised when you see how attractive a "Plain Jane" with a good personality can seem and how ugly a "perfect" girl with a bad attitude can start to appear to you.
Posted: Aug 9, 2006 10:37 pm
 
i told a chick that i was in the Oblivians last month..we were both drunk, she believed me. Her name was Bettie, Bettie Page.
Posted: Aug 10, 2006 12:45 am
 
Repair/replace the brakes on her car!!

Hey, wait a minute... I've driven your car! hmmm
Posted: Aug 10, 2006 12:46 am
 
naked. jumping. jacks.
Posted: Aug 10, 2006 1:04 am
 
Posted: Aug 10, 2006 1:22 am
 
Most people are 40% less attractive than they think they are

Wow, I'm 140% attractive! That must be a world record!
Posted: Aug 11, 2006 12:15 am
 
Here's a couple of quick ones:


-Show off your extensive video game, comic book, and stamp collection

-Show her pictures of you at the last Renaissance fair

-Brag about your level 54 Paladin/Cleric Elf World Of Warcraft character

-Ask her back to your place (ie parent's house) to read Bible passages with the folks

-Show her the thing growing on your severely undersized and hideous genitals

-Approach a girl dancing with her girlfriends, get aroused by watching them, and then approach said girl from behind and make an attempt at dancing by brushing your boner on her

-When in an elevator with a girl, fart

-Vomit in her hair

-Tell a girl you could totally hook her up with your employee discount at Toys R' Us

-Show her your "sick" Dragonball Z tattoo

-Wear a top-hat and monocle

-Tell her you're saving yourself for marriage

-Eat boogers

-Sport a red Kool-Aid moustache
Posted: Aug 11, 2006 2:39 am
 
winking, but not creepy sleazeball winking. winking like theres something you know that she knows but she doesn't know that you know and aren't telling how you know except by winking seems to do pretty good.
Posted: Aug 11, 2006 6:43 pm
 
Now that I'm single for the first time in forever Iam asexual.
And glad, GLAD GLAD GLAD.

cause I gots no social skills baybeeee!
Posted: Aug 11, 2006 6:59 pm
 
i dont eat my boogers right away...i save them for nite time snacks. My girlfriend Ann Hathaway ( who was in Devil wears Prada..) thinks its HOT!
Posted: Aug 11, 2006 9:02 pm
 
Tell them whatever they want to hear. Substantiate their every idea in the most spineless possible way but do it in very few words. Always pretend to listen.
I don't follow any of these practices myself because they go against the grain of my integrity and the dignity of the girl(s) in question, but I hear from others that it's a good strategy.
Posted: Aug 12, 2006 12:31 am
 
Jesus, all you need to do is make her some of your beer brats. Grill skill! and that one Burl Ives record with The Witch Of The Well song on it, then tell her you'll let her touch your pop-a-matic bubble.
Posted: Aug 12, 2006 11:36 pm
 
don't make her a mixed cd with Charles Manson and the 4-Skins on it. seems to weird them out somehow...
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 1:47 am | Edited by: Theresa K
 
i gotta say that hanging in Passout Record Shop, young Chris Teenager impressed the hell outta me. how?

here's what he does when he comes to work:
1) plays 13th floor elevators
2) plays jack oblivian's "black boots" single
3) plays the limes "tarantula" album
4) plays the KINKS
5) talks about how cool kevin ayers is
6) is not afraid to play the Beatles in a record store.

his musical knowledge totally impresses me. if he were 50... or even 38, who knows?
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 6:05 am
 
right now teenager is playing rare stiv bators stuff. very impressed.
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 7:11 am
 
This is why I can't impress girls...
Bull riding and tiny shorts do not attract women.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v36/mummygun/8ea042e1.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v36/mummygun/66ee3974.jpg
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 2:34 pm
 
A nice taste of music seems to work pretty well.
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 4:05 pm
 
Showing them blood on leather seem to be work romantic. Just for you info, mens.
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 6:38 pm
 
Hey chinatowndan, if it's any consolation to you, you just gave me a big gay Goner Boner.
Posted: Aug 13, 2006 7:13 pm
 
CHLOROFORM AND DUCT TAPE,motherfuckers!
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