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Goner Message Board / ???? / List of things that are timelessly funny...
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Posted: Aug 6, 2006 10:39 am
 
working for a mexican
Posted: Aug 6, 2006 11:56 am | Edited by: ChrisG
 
Haunted George wrote:
slipping on a bannana peel

I have a great banana peel story. Late on night of October 6th, 1995 (wee hours of the 7th), my friend Mike and I had been out shooting pool at a goth club in the low 30s called "the Bat Cave". The reason I can conjure the date is because the Pope was going to give mass the next morning on the great lawn in Central Park. We had closed down the bar at 4 am and were just drunk enough that we decided we were going to stay awake all night, and see the Pope in the morning. We were going to walk all the way from 30th street to get there (or 29th? or wherever that damn bar use to be). I recall vividly I was wearing my skin tight black leather suit and my pointiest Brazilian heeled Chelsea boots, and yes, sunglasses... swaggering up 7th Avenue feeling like I owned the city. We were just walking and talking. We'd pass a person or two here or there, but the streets were mostly empty and that late at night it really felt like we were walking the deserted streets alone. The city felt almost eerily quite. Then all of a sudden my feet came right out from under me, and with a thud, I landed flat on my back on the sidewalk. As I screamed out some expletive, Mike bellowed at the top of his lung "You slipped on a Banana Peel!" I sat up and heard laughter from every direction. On what had seemed like an empty street, laughter was literally echoing up and down 7th Ave. There were a few scattered people on the other side of the street, and further behind us that I hadn't really noticed, and I'm sure a lot of people further away didn't even see the event, but only heard our loud exchange. Lights were coming on, people were laughing from apartment windows looking down from above. I stood up, walked to the curb, and under the spotlight of a lamppost I took a bow. People began clapping, and the laughter echoing up and down the Avenue turned to applause.

For the rest of that story-
We grabbed some food along the way, snuck into the park, and went and found one of those giant granite stones coming up out of the earth. We sat up there and ate and talked, waiting for morning. It starting raining. I remember laying down on this big rock and lying my leather jacket over my face to shelter from the rain. The next thing I remember, I woke up and it was almost noon. Bright daylight. I don't recall who woke up first. We'd both passed-out in the rain on this rock. We missed the entire thing. We slept through the Pope giving mass in the Park!

I had the most incredible back ache, I was still wet. We walked to the train station at Columbus Circle. I remember, as we were exiting the park, they were packing up all of these t-shirt and souvenir push carts selling every imaginable Pope novelty, and impulsively I just started singing out loud, this Meryn Cadell song, The Pope-

Well, you've got your pope pennants, buttons,
You've got your pope clothes,
You've got your pope binoculars to see him up close...


Mike didn't know the song, he was like, What?

I left the bar thinking we were going to have this great story about staying up all night and seeing the Pope, mingling with the faithful all wrapped in black leather. Instead I got a great banana peel story. It's one of my favorite "New York Moments."
Posted: Aug 6, 2006 10:46 pm
 
Jon Wayne: Texas Funeral
Posted: Aug 6, 2006 10:46 pm | Edited by: eric o
 
the opening drum roll to "Smells Like Teen Spirit."
Posted: Aug 6, 2006 10:47 pm
 
pigmeat markham
Posted: Aug 6, 2006 10:48 pm
 
wi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ildman steve
Posted: Aug 6, 2006 11:35 pm
 
Small dogs running really fucking fast around and around.
Posted: Aug 7, 2006 4:59 pm
 
Squiggy biting his fist when a pretty girl walks by.

Midgets in 3-piece suits.

Song parodies from krazy morning dj's.

That "boy-yoy-yoing!" sound they make in "America's Funniest Home Videos" when somebody gets hit in the nutz.

Boners during slow dances.

Red Foxx faking a heart attack.

Big people fall down go boom.
Posted: Aug 7, 2006 5:07 pm
 
Squiggy biting his fist when a pretty girl walks by.

That was Lenny.

Posted: Aug 7, 2006 6:09 pm
 
Last night, I learned my kid sleepwalks.
Holding his pillow, he walked past the bathroom, into the office, pulled down his PJs and peed all over the office chair.
Posted: Aug 7, 2006 6:48 pm
 
Red Foxx faking a heart attack.

amen to that!
Posted: Aug 7, 2006 7:05 pm
 
Red Foxx faking a heart attack.

amen to that!


"This is the big one Elizabeth! I'm coming to join you!"

What about any of the "Ester, You so damn ugly..." jokes or
what about the classic "Lamont, you big Dummy!"
Posted: Aug 7, 2006 7:08 pm
 
The 3 Three Stooges sleeping... bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee
Posted: Aug 7, 2006 7:20 pm
 
The more violent The 3 Stooges get the funnier it is. I saw a Three Stooges short at a packed movie theater. Curly bends down to pick up something off the floor in a lumber mill. When he stands up his head goes right into a moving saw blade which rakes across his scalp. In real life a man doing this would die instantly. His skull would open and his brains would fly out of his head. Blood would be everywhere, he'd empty his bowels and bladder and the body would be twitching in the throws of death like a chicken with it's head cut off. Curly does it... the whole theater explodes in laughter.
Posted: Sep 6, 2011 12:48 am | Edited by: Jack Stands
 
This one, too, DCR. I was actually trying to find the thread on the "origin of Creepy Washcloth Boy"; it was either Arman or Lisa because I think the incident was at either a museum or a library.
Posted: Sep 6, 2011 10:37 am
 
scrolled through this, laughed (out loud even) at chubby joke, then scrolled further to see my post about laughing at chubby joke. point is that it's still funny! i mean, timeless. it's timeless.
Posted: Sep 6, 2011 2:01 pm
 
Did I miss "Pants-ing" and giving "wedgies" and "swirlies"? ...cuz I think they got missed. Pantsing is the ultimate.
Posted: Sep 6, 2011 3:03 pm
 
i'm dying over here!
Posted: Sep 6, 2011 5:31 pm
 
Shoe polish on the rim of a bong
Breaking the chain and then shitting in the back of a toilet at a party
Posted: Sep 6, 2011 5:39 pm
 
shitting in the sink at a gas station during a cross country trip...
Posted: Sep 6, 2011 6:46 pm
 
Saran wrap across the toilet bowl and toothpaste on the seat.
Posted: Sep 6, 2011 7:14 pm
 
Pantsing is the ultimate.

Posted: Sep 7, 2011 12:16 am
 
^Ha!

...and gloryholes!
Posted: Sep 7, 2011 9:19 am
 
the close up of the guy reading the paper makes me think that was set up.
Posted: Sep 7, 2011 9:45 am
 
Posted: Sep 7, 2011 11:37 am | Edited by: tigerblinds
 
I also think We All Love Peanutbutter is a timelessly sad song...it's timelessly funny and timelessly sad...
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