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Goner Message Board / ???? / The 50 Worst Artists in Music History
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 5:30 pm
 
Extended drum solos. Prog-rock concept albums. Kenny G. We endured all these — and much worse! — to bring you Blender's list of the 50 most talentless music acts of all time. Just please don't ask us to do it again. Ever...

50 IRON BUTTERFLY
Everything bad about the '60s, in one easy-to-avoid package
Legend has it that this Los Angeles acid-rock quintet had consumed such massive amounts of marijuana during the 1968 sessions for "In the Garden of Eden" that keyboardist-singer Doug Ingle could only mumble the title. Hence, "In-a-Gadda-da-Vida" was born, and its unexpurgated 17-minute version (including a two-and-a- half-minute drum solo) inaugurated the dubious era of free-form FM radio.
Appalling fact In-a-Gadda-da-Vida was the first LP ever to be certified platinum.
Worst CD Sun and Steel (MCA, 1975)

Toad the Wet Sprocket 49 TOAD THE WET SPROCKET
Very poor name. Even poorer band
"We were together longer than we ever thought we'd be," said Toad the Wet Sprocket singer Glenn Phillips when the band gave up in 1998. Longer than the rest of us had hoped, too. But the California four-piece defied the odds for 12 years, even piercing the Top 40 with their R.E.M. readymades.
Appalling fact Toad decided to have another go this year, playing dates with Counting Crows. Run.
Worst CD Pale (Columbia, 1990)

Master P 48 MASTER P
The dumbest of the Dirty South
In the late '90s, rapper and label head Percy Miller copycatted G-funk, simplified it and launched a fleet of indistinguishable MCs wrapped in cheap-looking, jewel-riddled artwork. P's worst offense was his solo work (his obnoxious breakout single, "Make Em Say Ugh," consisted of little more than a repeated groan). Like a crawfish-suckin' P. Diddy, he has, shockingly, earned millions from his No Limit imprint, which includes a clothing line, a publishing house — and even a phone company.
Appalling fact Master P had a Ferrari custom-painted in a Gucci-logo pattern.
Worst CD Only God Can Judge Me (No Limit, 1999)

Goo Goo Dolls 47 GOO GOO DOLLS
Mediocre band, woeful balladeers
Buffalo, New York's Goo Goo Dolls are former garage-rockers who, since their 1995 acoustic hit "Name," have successfully flogged a pallid brand of Bon Jovi–lite "rock." "Iris," their smash 1998 weepie, gives power ballads a bad name.
Worst CD Gutterflower (Warner Bros., 2002)

The Spin Doctors46 THE SPIN DOCTORS
Beards. Extended "jams." Oh dear, oh dear
For a brief time (between 1992 and 1996), it seemed that any workaday bar band, if it was willing to gamely trek around the country for at least three years, had a chance at superstardom (cf. Hootie and the Blowfish, Blues Traveler). Blame the Spin Doctors, hairy New Yorkers who — thanks to the supremely annoying "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" and "Two Princes" — momentarily opened a route between dive bars and the Billboard charts.
Appalling fact The Doctors got together while they were students at New York's New School of Jazz.
Worst CD Homebelly Groove Live (Epic, 1992)

Gipsy Kings 45 GIPSY KINGS
The curse of many a late-'80s dinner party
Having grown up on the French-Spanish border, the six cousins who formed Gipsy Kings craftily aspired to sell their mixture of flamenco, Eurotrash pop and questionable hairdos to a world desperate for something seemingly exotic. They seduced the über-rich at St. Tropez before hitching their wagon to the then-huge world-music boom, diluting the flamenco with drums, bass and even synthesizers. Soon, they became the Muzak in every bistro in the free world.
Appalling fact Well-known groover George H.W. Bush was so fond of the Gipsy Kings that he asked them to perform at his inaugural presidential ball. For some reason, they declined.
Worst CD Este Mundo (Elektra, 1991)

Manowar 44 MANOWAR
None more metal. None more gay
An American answer to Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, Rochester, New York's Manowar embody every conceivable heavy-metal cliché: Bodybuilders all, the four wear leather and animal pelts onstage; singer Eric Adams shrieks only of death, warfare and the glory of metal; Joey DeMaio performs solo bass renditions of "The Flight of the Bumblebee." They're quite possibly the most ludicrous people in rock & roll history.
Appalling fact In 1993, Russian youth voted Manowar above the Beatles and Michael Jackson as the act they would most like to see perform live.
Worst CD Sign of the Hammer (EMI, 1985)

Mike & the Mechanics 43 MIKE & THE MECHANICS
"Every generation blames the one before," they sang. So we will
While Phil Collins was torturing the world with his archetypal '80s soft-rock, his Genesis colleague Mike Rutherford unwisely decided to join in. Ergo the Mechanics, a trio built around Rutherford, former Squeeze vocalist-keyboardist Paul Carrack and the late Paul Young. As shown by the 1989 number 1 hit "The Living Years," an unbearably sentimental ode to Rutherford's deceased father, they made Collins sound like the MC5.
Appalling fact Against significant odds, there is a U.K.-based Mike & the Mechanics tribute band, the Living Years.
Worst CD Beggar on a Beach of Gold (Virgin, 1995)

Rick Wakeman 42 RICK WAKEMAN
Can play two synthesizers at once — but nothing that people want to hear
Keyboard "wizard" and professional cape wearer Wakeman's diabolical taste revealed itself early, when he elected to join prog-rockers Yes instead of David Bowie's backing band, the Spiders From Mars. Not content with contributing to Yes's inexcusably pompous albums, he also spent the mid-'70s releasing a series of baroquely awful solo theme records, including The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. For reasons that are still unclear, he opted to perform that one on ice.
Appalling fact While playing Yes songs live, Wakeman would wolf down curry during sections in which he had little to do.
Worst CD Lisztomania (A&M, 1975)

Whitesnake 41 WHITESNAKE
Dumb and dumberer
Led by ex–Deep Purple frontman David Coverdale, Whitesnake's '80s success with their karaoke Led Zeppelin routine can be explained only by the public's enduring love for the double entendre, as exemplified on such songs as "Slide It In," "Slow Poke Music" and "Spit It Out."
Worst CD Slip of the Tongue (Geffen, 1989)

40 BLIND MELON
A video made them; heroin undid them
Led by Axl Rose's mewling, drug-plagued pal Shannon Hoon, Blind Melon's lightweight rock would have been forgotten completely were it not for the boundless charm of "Bee Girl" Heather DeLoach, whose hoofing in the video for "No Rain" made the tune the band's lone hit.
Worst CD Soup (Capitol, 1995)

39 BOB GELDOF
Should have stuck to saving the planet
He organized the Live Aid concerts, but "Saint" Bob Geldof is a less-than-godlike musical talent. In 1989, he released The Vegetarians of Love, a terrible quasi-Cajun album that was recorded in five days — and sounded like it. Thirteen years later came Sex, Age & Death, effectively a midlife crisis — replete with achingly embarrassing claims of undiminished sexual potency — set to music. Like most of his solo work, it stiffed.
Appalling fact One recent Geldof song, "10:15," features the line "She told me I was beautiful/And I made her come a lot."
Worst CD Sex, Age & Death (Koch, 2002)

37 THE DOORS
He was the Lizard King. No, really...
While in college, many young men still choose to immerse themselves in such ill-advised subjects as Nietzsche, black magic and Native American folklore. Most get over it; Jim Morrison, unfortunately, inflicted his terminally adolescent views on the wider world. The consequences included overblown screeds of nonsense such as "The End" and "The Crystal Ship," plus, effectively, the invention of goth. Then he got fat and died.
Appalling fact Morrison is widely believed to have suffered his fatal heart attack while masturbating in the bathtub.
Worst CD The Soft Parade (Elektra, 1969)

36 98 DEGREES
Well, their mothers must love them
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception," quipped Groucho Marx. He'd have been hard-pressed to remember this utterly unremarkable Ohio boy band, though he would have loved to have forgotten their music. Harmonies, schmaltzy urban soul and even more saccharine life philosophy ("Persevere, work hard, have faith and eventually you'll reach your goal") paid dividends in the late '90s, as third-rate cheese such as "I Do (Cherish You)" and "Because of You" somehow became big hits.
Appalling fact Buy the 98 Degrees official board game — and find out which band member once autographed a diaper!
Worst CD This Christmas (Uptown/ Universal, 1999)

35 PAUL OAKENFOLD
Hey, Mr. DJ: Keep your day job!
As a remixer of note, "Oakey" is lauded for turning the guitar-loving masses into Ecstasy-aware, sodden-shirted neophytes of '90s dance music. But 2002's Bunkka, the Englishman's first album of original material, was an abject exercise in marketing, not music. Ham-fisted and clichéd, lacking direction and sparkle, nothing Oakenfold created himself would have inspired any DJs worth a lick. Dreadful.
Appalling fact Perry Farrell, Tricky, Ice Cube and Nelly Furtado all lined up to contribute to Bunkka. Presumably without hearing the music first.
Worst CD Bunkka (Maverick/Warner Bros., 2002)

34 LIVE
These U2 sound-alikes never did find what they were looking for
Blessed with the same spiritual longing as U2 — but, sadly, none of the musical cunning — this Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, quartet made a brief but insignificant splash in the early '90s as purveyors of grandiose, vaguely uplifting alt-rock. Although their hold on the mainstream had evaporated by the end of the decade, their blend of loud guitars and portentous lyrics helped pave the way for crypto-Christian rockers Creed. Nice one, Live.
Appalling fact The album title Secret Samadhi derives from a form of Hindu meditation.
Worst CD Secret Samadhi (MCA, 1997)

33 JAPAN
An uncontestable argument against the '80s
Japan formed in 1974 and soon discovered that their mixture of washed-out glam-rock, vaguely literary pretensions and bucketloads of makeup prompted little more than cruel laughter. The dawn of the '80s, however, found things moving their
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 5:30 pm
 
33 JAPAN
An uncontestable argument against the '80s
Japan formed in 1974 and soon discovered that their mixture of washed-out glam-rock, vaguely literary pretensions and bucketloads of makeup prompted little more than cruel laughter. The dawn of the '80s, however, found things moving their way, and by 1981, plenty of easily distracted teens were wobbling enigmatically to "Voices Raised in Welcome, Hands Held in Prayer," "The Art of Parties" and "Still Life in Mobile Homes" (the titles say it all).
Appalling fact Their version of Smokey Robinson & the Miracles' "I Second That Emotion" might be the worst Motown cover of all time.
Worst CD Gentlemen Take Polaroids (Virgin, 1980)

32 THE HOOTERS
The great folk-rock scare
Philadelphians Rob Hyman and Eric Bazilian assembled a quintet that specialized in a vile blend of folk-rock and New Wave, in the process proving that the mandolin is more irritating than the synthesizer.
Worst CD Zig Zag (Columbia, 1989)

31 ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
Too positive for their own good
Their 1992 debut, 3 Years, 5 Months & 2 Days in the Life Of..., sold 5 million copies despite containing some of the preachiest, most contrived "wisdom" ever laid down. Their studio follow-up, Zingalamundi, sank without a trace.
Worst CD Unplugged (Chrysalis, 1993)

30 RICHARD MARX
The devil-king of MOR
When it comes to the dreaded genre of adult contemporary, few were as archetypal as Winnetka, Illinois–born Richard Marx. The unbearably syrupy "Right Here Waiting," from 1989, remains his most far-reaching hit, but it shows the extent to which America fell for his combination of mullet, Wedding Singer apparel and softer-than-soft rock that it was his third consecutive number 1 single.
Appalling fact Before his brief burst of stardom, Marx honed his painfully bland art as a backing singer for Lionel Richie.
Worst CD Repeat Offender (Capitol, 1989)

29 SKINNY PUPPY
The audience rarely sang along to "Dogshit"
And so it came to pass in the 1980s that two Canadian Kevins changed their names to cEvin and Nivek in order to make themselves more interesting, hired a singer named Dwayne (who would die of a heroin overdose) and spent almost a decade making ear-torturing industrial music. The sound of whiny students on drugs sampling Timothy Leary — as scary as Mannheim Steamroller.
Appalling fact On the Head Trauma tour, cEvin sliced open his stomach with broken glass and performed a vivisection. Relax, everyone — he was only pretending.
Worst CD Too Dark Park (Nettwerk, 1990)

28 CRASH TEST DUMMIES
They said Brad Roberts's voice was so deep it could be heard only by whales. Not true, sadly
If you want to be recognized as serious recording artists with a whimsical, folksy bent, it's probably best not to notch your only hit with a daft novelty song based around the world's silliest lead vocal and title it "Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm." The remainder of God Shuffled His Feet, this Canadian band's second album, was much worse. They released I Don't Care That You Don't Mind in 2001. No one cared.
Appalling fact They're Canadian.
Worst CD A Worm's Life (Arista, 1996)

27 COLOR ME BADD
These Oklahomans sang about sex. But they couldn't keep it up
Oklahoma City's gain was New York's loss when these four high-school friends left their hometown and headed east in search of fame. They found it in 1991 with the double-platinum single "I Wanna Sex You Up," a literally unbelievable slice of lasciviousness from such inoffensive boys. Diluted hit followed diluted hit, but three watery albums later, CMB suddenly found themselves all washed up.
Appalling fact As kids, CMB regularly buttonholed such touring acts as Huey Lewis & the News and Bon Jovi for impromptu a cappella auditions.
Worst CD Now & Forever (Giant, 1996)

26 CÉLINE DION
One more reason to hate the French?
Seemingly hellbent from birth on proving that Michael Bolton isn't the cheesiest balladeer on the face of the planet, the French-Canadian singer first secured a manager at age 12 — creepily, she later married him. But far more terrifying is her endless string of shrieking über-hits, particularly the Titanic theme, "My Heart Will Go On" — which, if it had been played on the ship itself, would surely have made passengers leap to their doom long before the iceberg did its dastardly deed.
Appalling fact You might want to stay clear of Nevada until 2006: Dion recently began a three-year engagement at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas.
Worst CD Céline Dion (Epic, 1992)

25 JAMIROQUAI
The white, talentless Stevie Wonder
Where to start — the ludicrous headgear? The atrocious dancing? No, let us start, and finish, with the fact that Stevie Wonder has more talent in his dark glasses than Jay Kay has in his entire body.
Worst CD A Funk Odyssey (Epic, 2001)

24 BAD ENGLISH
With ex-members of Journey!
Suck-cheeked soft-rocker John Waite had scored big in 1984 with the ballad "Missing You." But with his solo career stalling, and half of Journey toilet-bound without a singer, they forged an unholy late-'80s alliance. Bad English retailed puffed-up power ballads, while Waite cast himself as a doomed romantic hero.
Worst CD Backlash (Epic, 1991)

23 CREED
Whoever said the devil has all the best tunes was probably listening to Creed at the time
It's doubtful there's a more irritating sight in videodom than Creed's Scott Stapp pulling one of his crucifixion poses while a wind machine blows his hair in the appropriate direction. But the Florida group's real crime is its music, an overblown distillation of grunge's most obviously commercial elements every inch as vapid as the music Nirvana and company were rebelling against.
Appalling fact This April, a fan sued the band following a show at which, it was alleged, Stapp was so incapacitated he was "unable to sing a single song."
Worst CD Weathered (Wind-Up, 2001)

22 PRIMUS
"Care for some prog-rock with cartoon-character vocals on the side?" "No, thanks!"
Perhaps the most tune-free act ever to chart an album in the Top 10 (Pork Soda hit number 7 in 1993), Oakland, California's Primus were led by Les Claypool, a bass virtuoso and startlingly nasal vocalist. Musicians and the terminally nerdy gaped in wide wonder at the trio's prodigious instrumental "chops"; everyone else was repulsed by the band's combination of the worst aspects of Frank Zappa and Rush.
Appalling fact The rallying cry for Primus's misguided fans was "Primus sucks!" — intended as sarcasm yet all too true.
Worst CD Pork Soda (Interscope, 1993)

21 THE ALAN PARSONS PROJECT
The sound inside the head of Pink Floyd's engineer. Zzzzzz...
Having conquered the Dark Side of the Moon, EMI Records' beardy staff engineer Alan Parsons decided that what the universe really needed was a prog-rock concept album based on the work of nineteenth-century horror novelist Edgar Allan Poe, narrated by Orson Welles. It didn't, of course, but an undeterred Parsons soldiered on, swapping prog-rock for vapid AOR in the '80s. Finally bundled off to play guitar in Ringo Starr's backing band, he was never seen again.
Appalling fact In the '90s, the world-champion Chicago Bulls took the court to the pretentious swells of Parsons's "Sirius."
Worst CD Pyramid (Arista, 1978)

20 HOWARD JONES
He came from England. Thanks, England
In the mid-'80s, it was difficult to avoid synth-wielding Brits. The sprig-haired, perma-grinning Howard Jones was the most irritating, seemingly convinced that he had something very important to tell the world — his 1984 debut was grandly titled Human's Lib — but unclear exactly what it was.
Appalling fact Early in his career, Jones was accompanied by "improvisational dance" expert Jed Hoile, who, in keeping with the lyrics to "New Song," mimed throwing off his "mental chains."
Worst CD Live Acoustic America (Plump, 1996)

19 DAN FOGELBERG
Giving male sensitivity a bad name — one song at a time
A graduate of the coffeehouse circuit around the University of Illinois, Fogelberg came to epitomize the most emetic qualities of the '70s singer-songwriter: the high, quavering voice, the knee-jerk sentimentality, the earnestly strummed acoustic guitar. He was blessed with a gift for vacuously pretty melodies, and his work also anticipated the vapidity of New Age music — although with the added annoyance of bad lyrics.
Appalling fact His 1982 hit "Run for the Roses" smelled of horse manure, and it was in fact about the Kentucky Derby.
Worst CD Twin Sons of Different Mothers (with Tim Weisberg) (Full Moon/Epic, 1978)

18 PAT BOONE
With his clean white bucks, he made rock & roll safe for '50s nerds
Back before blue-eyed soul, Pat Boone made a career out of watering down '50s R&B hits. Appealing to an audience who considered "race music" to be almost as bad as interracial dating, he had enormous success in making Fats Domino seem boring and Little Richard straight. After he spent the '80s as a spokesperson for Christian conservatism, his album In a Metal Mood cursed heavy metal by treating it like big-band schlock.
Appalling fact In 1977, his daughter Debbie topped the charts with "You Light Up My Life."
Worst CD In a Metal Mood (Hip-O, 1997)

17 BENZINO
He rapped, he co-owned
As silent co-owner of the hip-hop magazine The Source, Benzino embarrassingly ordered extensive feature coverage of his 2001 debut album, The Benzino Project, in the pages of his periodical. It didn't work: The album sold fewer than 75,000 copies.
Worst CD The Benzino Project (Motown, 2001)

16 OINGO BOINGO
Artless art-rock
Oingo Boingo singer Danny Elfman went on to become one of Hollywood's most in-demand soundtrack composers. But during his first go-round, he and his movie-director brother led this ostentatiously orchestrated L.A. New Wave group that began its pretentious career, not surprisingly, as a performance-art troupe.
Worst CD Only a Lad (A&M, 1981)

15 YANNI
Fabio meets Tesh!
As a member of the Greek national swimming team, 14-year-old Yanni Chryssomallis broke his country's national freestyle record. But instead of bringing further glory to his homeland by going to the Olympics, he emigrated to the U.S. in 1972 and began his 30-year quest to offer wretc
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 5:30 pm
 
15 YANNI
Fabio meets Tesh!
As a member of the Greek national swimming team, 14-year-old Yanni Chryssomallis broke his country's national freestyle record. But instead of bringing further glory to his homeland by going to the Olympics, he emigrated to the U.S. in 1972 and began his 30-year quest to offer wretched New Age twaddle to legions of Midwestern matrons, spa proprietors, insomniacs and his former paramour Linda Evans. Swimming's loss is music's loss.
Appalling fact "I avoid words. If instrumental music is done properly, it bypasses logic, programming and society. It becomes primal. I compose by emotion."
Worst CD Yanni Live at the Acropolis (Private Music, 1993)

14 YNGWIE MALMSTEEN
Big on solos, short on songs
With his passion for the music of Deep Purple's Ritchie Blackmore, Swedish guitar show-off Yngwie Malmsteen co-opted his hero's deadpan demeanor, neoclassical solos and frilly cuffs, garnering kudos from '80s bedroom guitar onanists for his playing speed. Yet Malmsteen never employed a proper songwriter, and his noodling hard rock — sometimes augmented by a full orchestra — has scored increasingly minuscule returns.
Appalling fact Malmsteen's 1983 show at London's Marquee club sold out in minutes because of unsuspecting Bruce Springsteen fans who thought they were attending a secret gig by the Boss.
Worst CD Concerto for Electric Guitar and Orchestra (Ranch Life, 1999)

13 MICK JAGGER
Even Bill Wyman laughs at Mick's solo records
Given the roll call of A-list rockers who have appeared on the Stones frontman's four solo ventures, even a tone-deaf 6-year-old could have produced something you'd want to hear twice, or at least once. Alas, it seems, there's never a tone-deaf 6-year-old around when you need one. Even on 1993's not-entirely-grim Wandering Spirit, produced by Rick Rubin, Jagger does his damnedest to ruin things by inexplicably singing a sea shanty. That's right — a sea shanty!
Appalling fact In his native U.K., Jagger's latest solo release, Goddess in the Doorway, sold just 954 copies on its first day of release.
Worst CD Goddess in the Doorway (Virgin, 2001)

12 TIN MACHINE
David Bowie's darkest (non-acting) hour
In 1989, having presumably become bored with excelling at pop, glam-rock and funk, chameleon David Bowie decided to demonstrate that he too could be really, really bad. The vehicle for this unlikely ambition was the plodding rock four-piece Tin Machine, whose two critically mauled studio albums and one "hilariously" titled live document (Oy Vey, Baby) found Bowie voluntarily subsuming his genius beneath chorus-free tunes and guitarist Reeves Gabrels's habit of playing his instrument with a vibrator.
Appalling fact The band's roadies wore T-shirts that read FUCK YOU, I LIKE TIN MACHINE. They were the only ones.
Worst CD Oy Vey, Baby (Victory, 1991)

11 LATOYA JACKSON
The least talented Jackson
Her voice may be thinner than Janet's and her charisma dimmer than Tito's, but her eyebrows uncannily resembled Michael's, and for a short, confusing time in the '80s, that was enough to earn Latoya Jackson a record deal. Typically, it was her private life rather than her hapless music that gained the most attention, after she accused her father of sexual abuse.
Worst CD From Nashville to You (Mar-Gor, 1994)

10 AIR SUPPLY
The sound of eunuchs sobbing
Disproving the theory that lightning never strikes twice in the same place, Air Supply contained not one but two mewling, lovesick softies whose name was Russell. In the early '80s, the Australian duo's gutless ballads — music so remorselessly fey it made Journey sound like Danzig — sent a generation of jilted lovers toppling into depression that was as clinical as the Russells' music. Mercifully, though, by the end of the decade, the pair had cried themselves to sleep.
Appalling fact Determined to ruin the festive season, Air Supply once recorded a Christmas album.
Worst CD The Christmas Album (Arista, 1987)

9 LEE GREENWOOD
Gives patriotism a bad name
"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel," Samuel Johnson said, but in Lee Greenwood's case, it's the ultimate meal ticket for a Nashville hack. A bland balladeer with a weakness for overwrought sentimentality, he wrote the 1984 tune "God Bless the U.S.A." in response to the Soviet downing of a South Korean airliner. It became a campaign theme for George H.W. Bush and was recently excavated in torturous fashion by the American Idol 2 cast during the war in Iraq.
Appalling fact Greenwood performed a duet with Latoya Jackson on her dreadful 1994 album, From Nashville to You.
Worst CD You've Got a Good Love Comin' (MCA, 1985)

8 VANILLA ICE
The white boy to end all white boys
You know that yearbook photograph you won't let anyone see? The one whose very existence keeps you awake shaking at night? Imagine it was a horribly dated number 1 single from 1990 called "Ice Ice Baby," and you have an idea what life is like for Robert Van Winkle. It doesn't stop there: Ice starred in the abysmal 1991 Hollywood vehicle Cool as Ice, and after squandering his quick fortune, mounted an unsuccessful comeback in 1998 as (shudder) a rap-rocker.
Appalling fact Widely denounced by hip-hop fans as a phony, Ice rebuffed his detractors at the 1991 American Music Awards: "Kiss my white ass!"
Worst CD Hard to Swallow (Republic, 1998)

7 ASIA
Ridiculous album sleeves, virtuoso playing, soulless rock. It can be only one band
Asia's music turned out to be exactly the sum of its parts: former technicians from King Crimson, Emerson, Lake & Palmer and Yes who got together with an erstwhile Buggle at the start of the '80s. It promised the most self-important prog-rock melded with the limp-wristed worst of AOR, and it delivered. The band's self-titled debut sold more than 4 million copies, which only encouraged them.
Appalling fact To this day, keyboardist Geoff Downes is happy to offer Asia's mission statement: "To play music that is panoramic, symphonic and rock at the same time."
Worst CD Astra (Geffen, 1985)

6 KANSAS
Beware all bands named after states or continents!
Their folksy 1977 hit "Dust in the Wind," a tractor-size fiddle player and a guitarist in bib overalls suggested pioneer-spirited rural rockers. The truth was far more sinister. Bereft of sex and emotion, Kansas's music was a noxious fusion of Jethro Tull and Yes, appealing only to male sci-fi bores and guaranteed to drive any self-respecting frontiersman headlong into the nearest bear trap.
Appalling fact A feature of their live shows was roadie T. Rat, who would come onstage in a trench coat, top hat and clown mask. Then he would disrobe and dance butt-naked.
Worst CD Point of Know Return (Columbia, 1977)

5 STARSHIP
They built this city on rock & roll. And crap!
In 1985, Starship rose like a phoenix from the ashes of once-mighty psychedelic overlords Jefferson Airplane/Starship — but only if, by phoenix, you mean "ultra-lame, MTV-pandering purveyors of MOR schlock." Best remembered for "We Built This City," they were also responsible for unleashing the Diane Warren–penned "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now," a song bad enough to appear on the soundtrack of the diabolical Andrew McCarthy "comedy" Mannequin. And its sequel!
Appalling fact Singer Grace Slick later disavowed "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now," claiming in an interview, "I know damn well how fast a relationship can fall apart."
Worst CD Love Among the Cannibals (RCA, 1989)

4 KENNY G
This guy really blows!
Hated equally by jazz and rock fans, Kenny Gorelick's limpid instrumentals and obsequious cameos helped turn the soprano sax solo into pop music's most feared cliché. He started his career with fusion hack Jeff Lorber, and his 1986 album, Duotones, established a steady market for anodyne, minimal background music, an aesthetic that reached its zenith in 1997 when "The G" set a world record by holding a single note for 45 minutes.
Appalling fact He graduated magna cum laude from the University of Washington with a degree in accounting.
Worst CD Classics in the Key of G (Arista, 1999)

3 MICHAEL BOLTON
Otis Redding died for this?
With his curly locks and toned abs, Michael Bolton looked like nothing so much as the hero of a cheap bodice-ripper, which was enough to earn him a fervent audience for his over-emoted late-'80s power ballads. Unfortunately, his greatest desire was to sing R&B oldies, which he went through like Sherman through Georgia.
Appalling fact After losing a plagiarism suit to the Isley Brothers, Bolton tried to avoid paying them royalties by buying their publishing house.
Worst CD Timeless: The Classics (Columbia, 1992)

2 EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER
Welcome back, my friends, to the second-worst band in history!
"Boasting" former members of the Nice, King Crimson and — yes! — Atomic Rooster, the less-than-super '70s supergroup ELP shunned blues-based rock in favor of bombastically reinterpreted classical works — with bewilderingly successful results. A nightmarish enough proposition on record, the Brit trio's live shows were peppered by interminable solo spots, including a 20-minute drum workout by Carl Palmer that ended with him ringing a cowbell held between his teeth.
Appalling fact Singer-bassist Greg Lake performed on a $10,000 Persian rug that roadies vacuumed before every show.
Worst CD Love Beach (Rhino, 1978)

1 INSANE CLOWN POSSE
They sound even stupider than they look
Two trailer-trash types who wear face paint, pretend to be a street gang and drench cult devotees in cheap soda called Faygo, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope are more notorious for their beef with Eminem (who pistol-whipped an ICP homey in 2001) than their ham-fisted rap-rock music. They claim that a "dark carnival" visited them one night, prophesied impending apocalypse and made them its messengers. Between this circus gospel, they find plenty of time to rap about 40-ouncers and venereal disease.
Appalling fact While appearing on The Howard Stern Show in 1999, Shaggy 2 Dope told Sharon Osbourne to "buff my pickle." She declined.
Worst CD The Wraith: Shangri-La (D3, 2002)
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 5:32 pm
 
Dude, you paste more stuff than the Operator.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 6:01 pm
 
so?
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 6:05 pm
 
You're a writer! Show some creative moxy!
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 6:09 pm
 
just posting something to talk about...

I'm more of an observer than a writer, that's just a beard.

I like to read people's reactions to things.

You are actually a very funny writer. You need a better outlet.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 6:11 pm
 
Speaking of writing, most of that is terrible. Do people get paid for this shit? I don't necessarily have a lot of qualms with their choices, but they write like high school freshmen scribing for the fucking yearbook.

While in college, many young men still choose to immerse themselves in such ill-advised subjects as Nietzsche, black magic and Native American folklore.

...and making stupid list of "the worst bands ever". Apparently, the writers of this piece never got over it.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 6:26 pm
 
they write like high school freshmen scribing for the fucking yearbook.


its BLENDER for heaven's sake.... they are writing for their audience
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 6:31 pm
 
You are correct, but calling people on the carpet for immature obsessions in a piece that is itself an immature obsession is kind of ironic.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 6:38 pm
 
they are writing for their audience

that's the annoying thing, whenever I write something with any semblance of depth, it tends to get cut.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 6:45 pm | Edited by: banned
 
At first I was annoyed with inclusions like Skinny Puppy, then I remembered not to take seriously the opinions of people who are so dumb they publish in a major magazine misinformation like the "singer" of Skinny Puppy is dead. Their singer Ohgr is definately still alive, I saw him not too long ago and friends have seen him since.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 6:51 pm
 
i think they're refeering to Dwayne Goettel.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 6:55 pm
 
"writers" today don't do research like in the olden days
"eidtors" today aren't much better either[


i]calling people on the carpet for immature obsessions in a piece that is itself an immature obsession is kind of ironic.[/i]

isn't that the whole demeanor of blender anyway? immature, i mean
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 7:02 pm
 
I know they're referring to Dwayne Goettel, but he wasn't their singer. Just seems like if you're going to make fun of a band because of them members died, which is a pretty scumbag thing to do in the first place, you might as well get yer facts straight.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 7:08 pm
 
isn't that the whole demeanor of blender anyway? immature, i mean

Maybe. To tell the truth, I think this is my first exposure to Blender.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 7:15 pm
 
I love Oingo Boingo!
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 7:28 pm
 
a 20-minute drum workout by Carl Palmer that ended with him ringing a cowbell held between his teeth.
Appalling fact Singer-bassist Greg Lake performed on a $10,000 Persian rug that roadies vacuumed before every show.


see, I don't think either of these things merit the title of 2nd worst artist of all time. I can't believe Master P is only 48th, and Arrested Development #31. I always felt Arrested Development had way more talent.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 8:44 pm
 
oh this is really going to piss people off...

We're tired of "Best Ever" album lists that ignore everything we've ever heard in favor of some obscure record from a neo-jazz futurist who played the zither back in the '60s. Hey, here's a news flash: There actually WAS good music recorded after 1990. Great music, in fact. Like, um, maybe...ALL OF RAP. Sheesh.

Here at UGO, we're celebrating revisionist thinking and the now (or, near-now) and listing the Top 50 Albums of Our Time. See where your favorites stand and prepare to debate as we count 'em down.

50. Wu Tang Clan - 36 Chambers

Not enough attention is paid to how revolutionary the Wu-Tang Clan was, and how awesome their debut album was. Here you had nine guys, all of them kicking ass on the microphone, but willing to share the spotlight in order to conquer the rap world. Their debut record took its time catching on, but once it did, it was like a disease, spreading everywhere and ravaging hip-hop heads with its sick beats and multi-pronged verbal attack. Along with hits like "C.R.E.A.M." and "Protect Ya Neck," the album also started the launch of Wu Tang's first solo career with "Method Man." It wouldn't be the last, as just about every member of the group would go on to some level of success on his own.

49. TLC - CrazySexyCool

T-Boz, Chilli and Left Eye burst onto the scene in 1992 with music and a style that was frivolous at best, and kind of silly at worst (seriously, their floppy clothes were almost too much even for us). But their sophomore effort, instead of just trying to capitalize on their initial success, brought us a more mature, sophisticated sound that was still funky enough to get asses shaking all around the world. The highlight is "Waterfalls," the smash-hit single that's almost impossible to separate from its stylish video. That's hardly, however, the only quality work on the album. "Creep" kicks out a tale of love on the down-low, while "Case of the Fake People" declares the group's independence from those who would ride their coattails. Throw in a Prince cover ("If I Was Your Girlfriend"), and you have one of the most complete R&B recordings of the modern era.

48. Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

Quirky indie rockers like the Decemberists owe a huge debt of gratitude to Jeff Magnum, whose sophomore effort under the Neutral Milk Hotel name is a classic piece of twisted folk-pop. Songs like "King of Carrot Flowers" and "Holland, 1945" combine guitar with horns and other baroque instruments to create a unique and strangely compelling mixture, while "Communist Daughter" uses atmospheric strings in a quieter moment that accents the shuffling energy of the other tracks. Magnum's lyrics might not make too much sense at first blush (What, exactly, does it mean to be the king of carrot flowers?), but they flow perfectly with the music and once in a while strike a powerful mark. This is an exceptional record that didn't get a lot of attention on its 1998 release, but which has since become required listening for indie fans.

47. Beastie Boys - Ill Communication

Maybe you like the hardcore punk Beasties from their early days. Maybe you're more into their crazy samples and their more mainstream rhyming skills. Or maybe you just remember the funny moustaches from the "Sabotage" video. Whatever your Beastie Boys preference, Ill Communication has something for you. Let's start with the last entry on that list, possibly the best combination of rap and rock in the Beasties catalogue, with a killer hook that holds up to this day. From there, we can tackle "Get It Together," which features cameos from Q-Tip and the Diabolical Biz Markie, himself. And from there, we launch into a whole mess of jazz, funk and straight-up hip-hop. You may think the last sentence is a bit of a cop-out, but discussing every good track on this record would take way more space than we have. It's great. Trust us.

46. Sublime - Sublime

Sublime's major label debut, released in 1996 shortly after singer Bradley Nowell's death from a heroin overdose, showcases the band's soul, punk and ska better than any of their previous collections. The clear stand-outs on the album are "What I got," "Wrong Way," and "Santeria," the latter of which showcases the Long Beach trio's dub-reggae abilities. Their musical catchiness aside, Sublime also manages to add socially conscious lyrics to their fresh, fun sound, such as "Wrong Way"'s anti-prostitution rant and "April 29, 1992," about the race riots that rocked Miami on that day. Critics often dismiss Sublime as frat-boy rock, but when you really listen to what the band is saying, and understand the different styles they're able to mesh together, you see that when they were doing this in the mid-nineties, very few if anyone else was.

45. Rancid - And Out Come the Wolves

Before the boy-punk popularity of bands like Good Charlotte, Blink-182, and Sum 41, Rancid emerged as modern punk pioneers in the genre's mid-nineties resurgence. Every track on And Out Come The Wolves is powered by hard hitting, catchy guitar riffs, ska grooves and general pop fun within a list of songs that include such offbeat topics as abandoned youth and misfortune. Obviously influenced by bands like The Clash and The Specials, Rancid gives us some tunes that you still want to crank up today, such as the two-tone single "Time Bomb" and the addictive, guitar heavy "Roots Radicals." Few punk albums can capture the range of emotions (and perhaps rage) given by Rancid on AOCTW, but they do so while still adding a bit of fun with songs like "Avenues and Alleyways," which recollects old Irish drinking songs. All that and we get some spoken word from Basketball Diaries writer Jim Carroll.

44. A Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Marauders

The combination of jazz and hip-hop had a burst of mainstream popularity in the '90s, and nobody did it better than Tribe. Other albums from this hip-hop collective had bigger hit singles, but Marauders is the group's most consistently excellent effort. By this point in their career, Q-Tip, Phife and Ali Shaheed Muhammed had sharply honed the tools that would make Tribe one of rap's most important names, and the smooth flow comes quickly and effortlessly. The De La Soul cameo on "Awards Tour" is fantastic, but it's a high point well complemented by the likes of "Electric Relaxation" (one of Q-Tip's brighter moments as a member of Tribe Called Quest) and "Sucka Nigga."

43. Sonic Youth - Dirty

With their noise-rock sound, Sonic Youth captivated teens and 20-somethings alike when they released Dirty in 1992. While they, along with tourmates The Pixies, may have paved the way for the success of Nirvana and the "alternative" movement made popular with Nevermind, SY actually turns back to its roots of chaos on this album. While the most stand-out tracks on the album are the punkish "100%" and "Sugar Kane," a more poppy fun musical experience, the band takes a unique approach (well, unique for Sonic Youth) with the political songs "Youth Against Fascism" and "Chapel Hill," which criticize the Reagan/Bush administration. SY still has a sense of humor though, and they show that with lo-fi punk tune "Nic Fit."

42. Ben Harper - Fight For Your Mind

Few true poets can combine music with their startling lyrics. Dylan certainly does it, Bob Marley and Richie Havens absolutely. And then comes Ben Harper. In songs like "Gold to Me" and "Excuse Me Mr." we see his development as a poet, as he gives us subtle poignant lyrics under a combination of blues, soul and R&B. What's further amazing is how Harper keeps us captivated with his slow, pointed voice with very little music on the emotional ballad "Another Lonely Day." Arguably the most straightforward track on the album, "Burn One Down," gives us Harper's pro-weed stance with the matter of fact chorus, "If you don't like my fire, then don't come around, yes I'm gonna burn one down." And, thinking about it, really, with that song, perhaps he's just preparing us for the 12-minute guitar instrumental epic "God Fearing Man."

41. Counting Crows - August and Everything After

The first single and only upbeat track on August and Everything After hit radio waves in 1994 and created overnight stars out of Counting Crows. The album, which blends an early 70s sound with singer Adam Duritz's angst-ridden, morose lyrics, served up true to its word rock and roll, even if it was with a side of sorrow and depression. While their sound was soon copied, the Crows' original blend of Van Morrison's voice, The Band's style, and U2's power flowed through harder rock songs like "Rain King" and more ballad-esque tracks like "A Murder of One" and "Round Here." And for you trivia buffs out there, you'll notice that the cover of the album has song lyrics scrawled all over its orange background. These lyrics don't appear on any of the songs on August and Everything After, but rather in the song "Hanginaroung" on the Crows' album This Desert Life released six years later.

40. The Chemical Brothers - Surrender

The Chemical Brothers could be said to be almost single-handedly responsible for the brand of aggressive techno-rock that came into vogue in the mid- and late '90s...which is what makes it all the more impressive that they were able to alter that sound on Surrender and still produce an excellent record. More synthesized and dance-oriented than the group's previous work, this album was characterized by a thinner sound that still showcased the Chems' creativity and ability to twist electronic music to their whims. The lineup of guest vocalists is also a nice little indicator of how well the group was doing at the time, including as it does Hope Sandoval of Mazzy Star, New Order's Bernard Sumner and frequent Chem collaborator Noel Gallagher of Oasis.

39. Jurassic 5 - Quality Control

What made Jurassic 5's "Quality Control" such a good time when it came out in 2000 was that it erased everything we know about rap over the last 15 years and brought us back to the old-school hip-hop movement of the LA Underground in the early 1990s. What's more, the blend the style taken from their days at The Good
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 8:44 pm
 
39. Jurassic 5 - Quality Control

What made Jurassic 5's "Quality Control" such a good time when it came out in 2000 was that it erased everything we know about rap over the last 15 years and brought us back to the old-school hip-hop movement of the LA Underground in the early 1990s. What's more, the blend the style taken from their days at The Good Life Caf�'s open mic with progressive beats, intelligent lyrics and, frankly, a resurgence of fun that's refreshing in hip-hop these days. When in the hands of masters, and everyone in this group certainly qualifies, rap becomes one of the most important art forms around and Jurassic 5 takes that seriously. With songs like "Lausd" and "W.O.E. is Me (World of Entertainment)" address the media and responsibility in ways that no other hip-hop group has tackled. Hey all you new school peeps - guess who just got served.

38. Bruce Springsteen - The Ghost of Tom Joad

Everything seemed perfectly peachy in 1995 when Springsteen released Tom Joad, his most politically charged album in an already editorial career. Instead of dwelling on what was right, Springsteen steered us to see what was still wrong, that nothing had really changed since his messages of Nebraska and Born In the USA. He tells us, in songs such as the title track, "Balboa," and "The Line," of the huge racial divide that still plagues the USA, of how this country has turned a blind eye to the working class, and that America no longer necessarily deserved the moniker of "promised land." Most of the album is pretty much acoustic (only five of the 12 songs use a full band), which may explain why none of the tracks were certified hits. That said, while the album may not have generated the sales of Born In The USA, the haunting pictures Springsteen paints and the messages he espouses from track to track make this one of his best albums ever.

37. The Flaming Lips -- Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robot

A synthetic psychedelic voyage through the world of robots and music, Flaming Lips style. Somehow the Lips find a way to give us fantastic visuals through their music - you can see Yoshimi fighting for what she believes in, you can hear the destruction around you in Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, pt.2. And you can't help but dry your eyes as "Do You Realize" drips into your ears. From its bittersweet opening track "Fight Test" through the depression of "All We Have Is Now" to the flighty "One More Robot," The Flaming Lips reach their collective peek with Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. They give us songs that resonate with us, songs about the trip we all go on from birth until death and dealing with the deaths of others. Even though lead singer Wayne Coyne sounds more like Neil Young than Roger Waters, this album is the closest thing to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon to come out since, well, since Dark Side...

36. Death Cab for Cutie -- Transatlanticism

O.C. faves Death Cab For Cutie released Transatlanticism in 2003 and teenagers and hipsters everywhere have been dissecting their lyrics ever since. Through songs like "A Lack of Color" and "The Sound of Settling," DCFC comes through, as usual, with singer Ben Gibbard's lyrics, but added to that are some of the band's best sounds to date. That's not to say that the band is upbeat, this album should never fall in that category, it's more progressive than anything they've ever done. The opening track, "The New Year," immediately sets the tone with a mellow melancholy and then guides us slowly into poppy bliss as we traverse from "Lightness" through "Expo '86" and "The Sound of Settling." What's further astounding is the band's ability to hop from the rocking nature of the latter to a more folksy, Elliott Smith-esque sound of the title track.

35. The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow

When The Shins first hit the music world with "Oh Inverted World" in 2001, critics and fans hailed them as saviors of indie-pop. Some were disappointed, then, when Chutes came out in 2003 and showed a more eclectic, accomplished band instead of purely sticking to the downbeat pop of their earlier stuff. Those people clearly live their hipster lives in a vintage clothing store world where change is bad. Songs like "Kissing the Lipless" and "So Says I" keep you wanting more the entire time and, maybe, if anything, the album could be a bit longer. At 33 minutes and 52 seconds, it feels like The Shins kind of rip us off and they wouldn't get away with it except that they pack so much goodness into every second of that time. Oh Shins, you win this time...THIS TIME!

34. The Black Crowes - The Southern Harmony And Musical Companion

Sophomore albums often fail, or at least come in under expectations. The Black Crowes 1990 debut Shake Your Money Maker wailed such amazing southern fried rock that topping it seemed impossible. With the their bad boy, bad ass attitude, reminiscent of the Stones, Skynard and Aerosmith, the Robinson brothers and their gang presented us with a full throttle, "take that, bitch" set of tracks on Southern Harmony. Songs like Hotel Illness, Sting Me and Remedy blend blues and hard rock so skillfully it makes you set the CD player to repeat all as you thrash around your room. Even more gentler tracks, like Thorn In My Pride and Bad Luck Blue Eyes, evoke emotion and pain that rarely comes across. While the band may have lost a little luster after SHaMC, finally breaking up in 2002, this bit of perfection from 1992 is frozen in time for us all to love and rock to.

33. Garth Brooks - No Fences

OK, yes, most of you are saying, "What? Garth Brooks bites." Oh yeah, well then how come it's sold over 16 million copies and back in 1990 everyone seemed to be humming "Friends In Low Places" under their breath or in karaoke bars galore? As much as we may hate to admit it, Garth made some decent music, certainly catchy, and helped bring country-rock into the mainstream. Not to mention four of the album's tracks hit number one between 1990 and 1991. Those songs? The aforementioned "Friends," "Unanswered Prayers," "Two of a Kind, Workin' on a Full House" and "The Thunder Rolls." Oddly enough, in 2001, "Wild Horses" came from nowhere and hit the charts again at number 7. Sorry folks, as ashamed as we may be to admit it now, Garth was doing something right.

32. Squirrel Nut Zippers - HOT

Sometime in the late 1990s a movement swept across America that we like to call neo-swing. Bands like Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Brian Setzer Orchestra and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy topped charts with their punkish swing music. Then came the Squirrel Nut Zippers. Their single "Hell" - a klezmer, bluesy clip that tells us we're all basically worm food - burst into radio rotation and it looked like we had yet another CD to toss on the pile of zoot suits growing on the floor of our closets. Problem is that North Carolina natives SNZ, named after a Boston-based candy company whose sugary confections were known to rip out fillings, with their albums HOT and The Inevitable wanted nothing to do with swing. The Zippers were a post-modern Dixieland jazz band producing music straight out of the 20s and 30s, but with clearly modern lyrics. Katharine Whalen's sultry Billie Holiday purr on "Put a Lid On It" could make any man do that or anything else she told you to do.

31. Missy Elliott - Supa Dupa Fly

This debut from Missy Elliott slapped us crazy when it hit the shelves in the summer of 1997. With an intro from Busta Rhymes (cleverly titled, "Busta's Intro"), Missy "Misdemeanor" had immediate credibility, not that she needed it. With it's experimental style and unpredictable beats, Missy gives us what could be considered the most influential album ever released by a female hip-hop artist. The postmodern feel could be heard throughout the hip-hop world throughout the rest of the nineties and into this century. What's more, Missy Elliott doesn't stick to one style from track to track. Her versatility as a singer, rapper, and songwriter gives us a range of tracks from the slow and soothing single "The Rain" to the rap duet "Sock It 2 Me" with Da Brat. Can't mention this album without a shout out to producer Timbaland, who created the eclectic beat-style that made this album unique at its release.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 8:45 pm
 
30. Lemonheads - It's a Shame About Ray

Though it was released almost a year after Nirvana's Nevermind, Ray doesn't strive to copy the grunginess of the Seattle sound that had exploded at this point in time. Instead, Boston-native Evan Dando gives us a more gentle approach to alternative, with the pining title track leading the way, in a sad lament about former Heretics singer Ray Lemieux, who at the time had recently died of a heroin overdose. Oddly enough, one of the biggest singles from this album, a punky cover of Simon & Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson," wasn't included on the original release, but rather added by Atlantic Records after the record had been out for awhile because the import single was getting a lot of college airplay. The bright side was that it brought the band more into the mainstream and gave people access to true Lemonheads songs "My Drug Buddy" (these days just called "Buddy," Alison's "Starting to Happen", and "Rudderless."

29. Snoop Doggy Dogg -- Doggystyle

He may be a bit of a joke post-Soul Plane, but time was that Snoop Dogg was the most dangerous rapper on the planet, and Doggystyle is the ultimate document of that time in Calvin Broadus's career. The combination of the MC's lackadaisical, drawling flow and the funk beats courtesy of George Clinton was an explosive one, leading singles like "Who Am I? (What's My Name?)" and "Gin and Juice" straight to the top of the charts and on to booming car stereos all over the place. West Coast gangsta was the theme, with plenty of dark, hardcore material to be had, as best illustrated by "Murder Was the Case." But Snoop has always also known how to have fun, which he demonstrated by covering the Slick Rick/Doug E. Fresh anthem "Lodi Dodi." It may not be as influential as The Chronic, but if you're looking for the definitive early '90s West Coast album, this wouldn't be a bad choice.

28. Soundgarden - Superunknown

Chris Cornell made Soundgarden huge with his ability to make whining on key song after song actually sound good. Full of more pop and psychedelic influences than their past punkish releases, Superunknown presents us with Cornell and guitarist Kim Thayil's most mature songwriting to date. Specifically, they allowed whatever pain is plaguing them with themes such as depression, lost love and suicide. The major hit of the album, "Black Hole Sun," while the most accessible, could be considered the least interesting. The band comes across better with the humorous "Spoonman" or the quiet "Fell On Black Days." A dark album, to be sure, but the seventy minutes of power that unfolds here shows us what grunge music was really all about.

27. Ice-T - O.G. - Original Gangster

T released arguably the first gangsta rap album in 1987, and even as the genre exploded on the back of other artists, he stuck to his guns. Loyal listeners were rewarded with this, his most accomplished and complex album. Not much was changed in terms of structure and style - Ice-T's machine-gun delivery, hard edge and unflinching lyrics were simply honed to a razor-sharp edge. Songs like "New Jack Hustler" (which served as the theme song to New Jack City) demonstrated an degree of intelligence few of T's contemporaries could match, while still telling authentic street stories the boys in the hood could get behind. The beats weren't as danceable as the work of Dr. Dre or Snoop, but the message was more prominent and pronounced. If you just know Ice-T as the lead singer of Body Count or a face on VH-1's I Love the Whatevers, pick up this album.

26. Jane's Addiction - Ritual De Lo Habitual

Many fans found it fitting that the crowning moment of pioneer alternative band Jane's Addiction, at least in their first incarnation, was also their swan song. The group would call it quits after the release of Ritual De Lo Habitual (at least, until reuniting in the new millennium for 2003's Strays). Outside of all that context, though, this record stands on its own as an essential piece of alternative rock, chock full of the bizarro style for which the band was known while deftly exploring delicate emotional territory. Yes, the song you most remember from this album is "Been Caught Stealing," probably because it still gets plenty of airplay on rock radio today. But there's a lot more going on here, with two songs clocking in at 20 minutes and winding their way through every imaginable emotion. Some have called this album overlong or sprawling, but we consider it epic, instead - a massive, resounding last cry from a band that shut down at its peak.

25. Pulp Fiction Soundtrack

Just like the soundtrack to Reservoir Dogs, this soundtrack to Quentin Tarantino's breakout megahit is speckled with sound bytes from the movie, but the real stars here are the songs themselves. From the classic "Son of a Preacher Man" that permeated college parties for the next few years to Urge Overkill's cover of Neil Diamond "Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon" and everything in between, you can celebrate the beauty of the Tarantino's eclectic musical tastes as they are held together with the surf-guitar riffs provided by Dick Dale as the through line of the album (and, really, the film itself). What's nice, of course, if you're up to it, is that you can grab your favorite dance partner and recreate the Travolta/Thurman dance number to Chuck Berry's "You Never Can Tell." The introduction's even there for you to lip sync along to Uma introducing herself. There's something to get the party started. Just avoid the need for the adrenaline shot later on.

24. Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

Even those who recognized Lauryn Hill as the most distinctive voice in the Fugees were kind of blown away by her solo debut, which was on everybody's Album of the Year short list in 1998. Hill was all over the record, singing, rapping, writing and producing, and the result was an incredibly personal statement that also doubled as a fantastic rap, soul and R&B record. Speaking her mind about politics, the corrupting nature of the music business ("Superstar" was the perfect counterpoint to rap's descent into commercialism and materialism), and more intimate subjects such as motherhood, Hill demonstrated a range that few of her contemporaries possessed. But she also knew how to write a catchy hook, as illustrated by the success of the single "Doo Wop (That Thing)." Few knew that this would pretty much be Lauryn Hill's only original solo recording, but as one-shots go, it's a killer.

23. Metallica - Metallica ("The Black Album")

Metallica had already solidified its status as metal heroes by the time this album came out, but its release marked their ascension into the stratosphere of mainstream success. The songs on the Black Album are shorter and more focused than anything the band had done previously, but retain the fire and intensity for which it had come to be known. They also explored some new territory, unleashing moodier fare like "Unforgiven" and even an out-and-out ballad with "Nothing Else Matters." That they could do this without causing hordes of mullet-sporting metalheads to burn their concert t-shirts in protest is an illustration of the artistry the band was commanding at this point in its existence. They'd go on to attempt to replicate Metallica's formula with varying degrees of success, but the shortcomings of this record's descendents in no way detracts from its greatness.

22. Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine

In 1992, amidst the burgeoning grunge movement, this other West Coast force of music gave us their debut that jerked us awake like a shot of adrenaline to the heart. With its unique combination of Public Enemy style beats, the punk flavor of The Clash and the metal lyrics of Black Sabbath, Rage Against the Machine really meant it when they chanted their addictively repeatable, "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!" on the track "Killing in the Name." And, when we chanted along with them for those few minutes, so did we. Rage added even more credibility to their hard-rock fans with their statement in the liner notes that "No samples, keyboards or synthesizers used in the making of this recording," which is astounding when you listen to what guitarist Tom Morello is able to accomplish with just a guitar, such as the solo on "Know Your Enemy," where you lean in close to the speaker and ask, "Is my CD player skipping?" And then you realize you're speaking to a machine.

21. R.E.M. - Automatic For The People

Full of messages of loss, aging and death, Automatic For The People marked a significant change for R.E.M., who had spent most of their career as alterna-pop darlings with songs like "Orange Crush," "Losing My Religion," and "It's The End Of The World As We Know It." This album, however, contains more folky, reflective tracks, such as "Everybody Hurts" and "Nightswimming," which show us the band has become aware of its own mortality. Even the opening notes of the album, on "Drive," are hauntingly reminiscent of a funeral march. This is not to say the album is knee deep in depression. While reflecting, R.E.M. still clearly knows how to have fun, best demonstrated on the Andy Kaufman tribute "Man In the Moon," where singer Michael Stipe, in his quest to find out what it's like in heaven, clearly channels Elvis Presley. While this is certainly not a happy album, every track takes us to a different location on this guided tour of the soul, allowing us to realize that we're not necessarily kids anymore either, but maybe, that's okay.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 8:45 pm
 
20. Weezer - Weezer

Weezer, and their debut, can be summed up with one word: fun. Sure their lyrics may not always turn a smile (indeed, "Undone - The Sweater Song" is about relationship unraveling right in front of us), but everything these LA-based boys do is catchy pop that we can all relate to. What makes Weezer's first album, more so than any other one they've ever put out, is that when it came out in 1994, we all felt that Rivers Cuomo and company were us. Paying homage to Happy Days and 50's Rock in "Buddy Holly," dealing with alcoholism in "Say It Ain't So," and the need to escape to a place all your own in "In The Garage," shows us these are real people with similar problems that we or people we know have. All the while, the tracks wiz by us in typical Weezer style until the album is over sooner than you'd hoped. And for anyone else who's been told by a girl that she thinks of us as a really good friend, then put on "No One Else," crank it and jump up and down until it stops hurting.

19. Matchbox 20 - Yourself or Someone Like You

Despite being released in 1996, this debut effort from Matchbox 20 didn't hit the charts until the single "Push" reached radio in the summer of 1997 - which could also be called the summer of boy rock. Unlike contemporaries such as Third Eye Blind and Vertical Horizon, these guys had more than one hit in their pocket and proved themselves worthy to spearhead the move into a post-grunge era. Instead of angry, self-loathing rock, we get upbeat meloldies reminiscent of classic rock, such as "Real World," a song that describes daydreaming about a better world and then being knocked back into reality, something we can all relate to, and "Push," a composition masking itself as a traditional relationship-gone-bad rock song but, in actuality, is a strong pro-feminist anthem. At the same time ballads, like "3 AM" give us a catchy hook with particularly heartfelt lyrics, helping us realize that slow does not always mean whiney, and that three-chord rock and roll can still be refreshing.

18. The White Stripes - Elephant

2003's Elephant sort-of picks up where White Blood Cells left off, showcasing the eight-track garage-rock The White Stripes pride themselves on, but then evolving the band to new maturity with softer, acoustic songs such as "You've Got Her In Your Pocket" and "In The Cold, Cold Night." The Stripes even get into interesting musical experimentation here with Jack creating the bass line on "Seven Nation Army" entirely on guitar (though you'd never know) and the Blues into rock transitions in "Ball and Biscuit." And just the fact that they cover a Burt Bacharach song, "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself," which they tear apart and then make their own, makes the album worth of praise.

17. Moby - Play

In underground electronica, Moby is king. With 1999's Play, though, he broke through to the mainstream and gave the general public a glimpse into his sincerity, spirituality, and unique musical style. To promote this album, Moby didn't just tour and ask for a lot of radio play (not that he would have gotten it anyway). Instead, he licensed the tracks to TV commercials and shows, forcing the American public to listen to his mixes. The UK discovered Moby in 1991 with his top ten hit "Go," but it took the catchy ubiquitous chorus in "South Side" to perk up the ears of Americans. Play gives us more than that overly licensed single, though. Moby plays with gospel and blue samples on "Honey" and "Find My Baby" (the latter of which was licensed almost as much as "South Side") and gives us the big-beat sports highlight montage track "Bodyrock" - it was also used on the credits the Veronica's Closet" Can you say instant classic?

16. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magick

The Peppers had begun to break out of the underground and become a mainstream success with 1989's Mother's Milk, but it was this alternative classic that catapulted the L.A. band into the stratosphere. Producer Rick Rubin helped rein in the frenetic sound for which the group had become known and allowed them to deliver a more song-focused, melodic effort that struck a chord with the listening audience. Songs like "Breaking the Girl," "Suck My Kiss" and "Give It Away" were an awesome evolution of the Chili Peppers' signature sound (when you have a tune parodied by Weird Al, you know you've made it), but it was the ballad "Under the Bridge" that most resonated, showcasing a depth that, quite honestly, took everybody by surprise. Singer Anthony Kiedis isn't as good a crooner as he is at spitting lyrics and being a general freak, but Blood Suga Sex Magick showcases a band at what may have been its creative peak.

15. Radiohead - OK Computer

While The Bends may take the title of Radiohead's most musically accessible album, their follow-up, OK Computer, gave us something totally new, an influential sound that helped close out the 20th Century. While, individually, each track captures a unique mood and even style, the album deserves appreciation as a whole. From track to track, Radiohead blend textures with emotions and strip away the common structure of rock, while still giving us a dizzying whirlwind of brain candy. Given the theme of the album, which asks us to find a sense of beauty in this world that has given way to humanity in favor of machines, the emotional stake we're forced to place in the story that unfolds before us is sick. If one track could best describe how the album as whole drags you through adventure, it would be "Paranoid Android," a three-part plunge from the soft plea to stop the mechanized noise to chaotic eruption back to peaceful silence and again into nightmarish musical imagery. While not the most pop-friendly album ever created, OK Computer shows us, in the most stripped down form, what rock music is all about.

14. Alanis Morrisette - Jagged Little Pill

While she may have released an acoustic version of this album in 2005, the original from 1995 introduced us to Alanis's original and catchy style and became a phenomenon. With songs like "Head Over Feet," "Forgiven," and "All I Really Want," Morrisette gives us starkly personal lyrics that give us huge window into her life and, in particular, the broken relationship she appears to be suffering (rather than recovering) from. With a voice more like a rusty door than a silk sheet, it's rather surprising the album sold as many millions of copies as it does, but when you examine the songs themselves, you find a clue why. Instead of the typical superficial broken-hearted lyrics instilled on pop-radio, these songs ask questions and emote feelings so common that there's hardly anyone (guy or girl) who couldn't relate. Still, no matter how hard you try to spin it, having "10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife" is not ironic and never will be. That's just plain bad luck.

13. 50 Cent - The Massacre

If the whole "thug" mentality in rap is the new millennium's version of gangsta, then 50 Cent is its Dr. Dre. More or less delivering the thug manifesto on Get Rich...Or Die Tryin', the Queens-born rapper had a tough act to follow on his second record. Fortunately, he came through with flying colors, delivering a 78-minute assault that both fits the 50 formula and offers up a few surprises. "A Baltimore Love Thing" is a surprisingly self-aware piece about addiction's destructive force, while "Build You Up" features Jamie Foxx on backing vocals and is disarmingly sweet...for a 50 Cent song, anyway. Of course, none of this means that 50 had forgotten how to deliver huge beats and great party tracks, as evidenced by the Fat Joe dis track "Piggy Bank," as well as "I'm Supposed to Die Tonight" and the cleverly titled "Gatman and Robin." Proof that 50 Cent was more than a flash-in-the-pan, The Massacre stands as a highlight of rap music in the 21st century.

12. Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream

The "sophomore slump" is a trap to which many bands have succumbed, but the Pumpkins more or less took that idea, blew it up, burned the remains and then shot the ashes into outer space. Siamese Dream is one of those rare albums without a bum track, and stood out even in the crowded alternative nation of the early '90s. Billy Corgan demonstrated great range as a songwriter here, skipping from the wall-of-noise jam of "Cherub Rock" to the quiet melancholy of "Disarm," and sometimes even tackled both in the same song, as on "Soma," which goes from near-narcotic quiet to explosive power over the course of its running time. And for raw rock power, few acts outside the world of metal could match the Pumpkins at the time. Your mileage on this record may vary depending on your tolerance for Corgan's...um..."unique" vocal style, but if you like heavy, melodic alternative rock, this is a must-listen.

11. Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP

The most memorable line from 2000's The Marshall Mathers LP is "Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? Please stand up? Please stand up?" But while that song catapulted Eminem into international hip-hop superstardom, the rest of the album is a poignant mix of lyrics focused on the opinions of someone who clearly has a fair amount of rage. Over the course of the album's 18 tracks, Em takes on the boy bands he hates, gives props to the slain Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls, blames bad parenting over popular music for why kids today are screwed up and basically insists the entire world doesn't understand him. What makes the whole album worth it though - beyond the music itself - is deciphering when he's serious and when the joke is on us. Because nothing is sacred and he's willing to joke about himself just as much as he is about any issue out there, he leaves it for us to decide and, in the beauty of that, pretty much unapologetically says we're wrong no matter what.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 8:45 pm
 
10. Outkast - Speakerboxx/The Love Below

This double-disc, eclectic set of hip-hop and funk gives us some of the best experimentation happening in all of music today. Over the course of Andre 3000's Love Below disc and Big Boi's Speakerboxx, the duo mash together a sampling of dirty funk, techno, psychedelic rhythms, rock and roll and, of course, a spattering of hip-hop with no boundaries in sight. By isolating themselves on separate discs, Boi and Dre allow us a better perspective into the styles they prefer and also to showcase their individual talents with other artists. While Dre has fewer collaborations on his disc, "Take Off Your Cool," which he sings alongside Norah Jones, is a tad sappy but beautiful as well. Boi, on the other hand, gives us more hard-core hip-hop on tracks like "Flip Flop Rock" with Jay-Z. Of course, you can't discuss this album without mentioning what could be considered one of the most important and influential songs to come out in the past twenty years, at least. "Hey Ya" crams so many styles into four minutes you think your head is going to explode. And it's catchy, too.

9. Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

Wilco's fourth album, released in 2002, reminds us of everything fantastic about college radio. Every track on this album, named after the three-word codes used by short-wave radio operators, shows the eclectic side of Wilco. Everything, from the distorted yet simple tune of "Ashes of American Flags" to the poppy fun of "Heavy Metal Drummer" gives you a new reason to love the band. Before its release, the band's reputation mainly rooted itself in the limited alt-country genre. But now, whether you like whiney or not, Jeff Tweedy and company are pure indie-rock. That's a graduation, of sorts. What makes this album even more fun, though, is the backstory. Originally, Warner label Reprise records was supposed to release the album, but they passed on it claiming it was crap. Without a label, the band released the album on the Internet. Downloads were abundant, to the point at which Nonesuch Records, another Warner label, actually bought the rights to the album at (reportedly) three times the original price. What was that, music industry? Oh, yes, you're right. The Internet is an evil place and there's no place for music on it.

8. U2 - Achtung Baby!

In the midst of the many musical shifts of the early 1990s, U2 was not to be outdone by the likes of Seattle imports. With this 1991 compilation, the band changes gears in a way that set the tone for the rest of their albums in the 1990s (although this clearly stands out as the most accessible and, really, listenable of the decade). Steering away from the anthemic guitar rock that shot the band straight to stadium superstardom in the 1980s, Achtung Baby is chock-full of dance beats, psychedelic-infused guitar riffs, and layers of special vocal effects that sometimes make us forget how amazing Bono's voice actually is in its purest form. In addition to its musical experimentation, U2 also gives us a genuine look inside its sexuality, desperation, and surprising solitude. While almost every track on the album is a genuine hit, the classic pieces here are clearly, "Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses," "Mysterious Ways," "Tryin' To Throw Your Arms Around The World," and the heartbreaking ballad "One."

7. Public Enemy - It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back

If you ignore for a second that three years after PE released this groundbreaking hip-hop album, they appeared in Dan Aykroyd's "Nothing But Trouble," probably one of the worst movies ever and, really, a big blotchy tarnish on the careers of this group, you can still enjoy It Takes Nation....This, one of the most influential and, frankly, awesome hip hop albums ever made, has Chuck D, Flavor Flav and the rest of the gang giving us thought-provoking lyrics, in the most urgent of ways, about the teachings of Islam and the injustices done to African-Americans. If you don't like angry rap, it's also worth listening to just to hear Flav say, "Yeeeeah Boyeee" and remember that he's not acting on VH1 - he's actually always been that crazy.

6. Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes

With a combination of disturbing lyrical images, progressive piano plunking and roller coaster emotion, Tori Amos gave us Little Earthquakes, the kind of album you want to sit in alone a dark room and simply absorb, but can't, because listening to it alone is just a little too heart-wrenching. While it's not always depressing, such tracks as "Winter" and "Happy Phantom" show you that, the more Amos bares her soul, the more you realize that this is why rock and roll exists. As you progress through the tracks into the cruelty of unrequited crushes in "Precious Things" or fighting to overcome the experiences of an abusive relationship in "Silent All These Years," you can only hope her words can somehow seep themselves into your psyche to ensure you never have to experience such pain. This is topped with the startling, a cappella, "Me And A Gun," in which Amos relies solely on the power of her voice to give us the story of her own real-life rape, lyrics that pound out as she tries to block the experience from her mind as it's actually happening.

5. Green Day - Dookie

If any album came close to the kind of influence brought to bear by Nevermind, Dookie certainly could be it given the number of Green Day impersonators that sprung up post- its release in 1994. Instead of indie rock, Green Day rejuvenated the punk movement with self-hatred and a sound similar to the Buzzcocks and Husker Du, all the while having fun. Contrary to the heavy topics from Kurt Cobain, singer Billie Joe Armstrong adds a little humor into the mix with opening lines like "Do you have time to listen to me whine" or crooning about self-pleasure on "Welcome to Paradise" and the hidden track "All By Myself." The band also shows its mature side on songs like the ballad-esque "When I Come Around" and "Longview," which is about the loneliness and despair Armstrong and bassist Mike Dirnt experienced while living in a one-room shack.

4. Pearl Jam - Ten

Before they were political junkies battling against The Man (a metaphor for Ticketmaster), Pearl Jam were actual rockers and in 1991 they helped bring the Seattle grunge movement mainstream with this outstanding collection of songs. Where Nirvana was more abstract in their lyrics, Pearl Jam told us stories like that of "Jeremy," the boy who couldn't take it anymore, or of the dark personal incestuous tortures of "Alive" (one of three songs nicknamed the Mama's Son trilogy; the other two are "Once" and "Footsteps," which was released as a B-side). "Once" shows us an even darker side of the band as lead singer Eddie Vedder croons about a man (presumably the same one from "Alive") who goes on a killing spree after his mother's romantic advances on him. The whole album is quite a downer, when you think about it. But if you were a teenager in 1991, it somehow seemed easy to relate to.

3. Dr. Dre - The Chronic

During the summer of 1992, Dr. Dre's "Nuthin' But a G Thang" could be heard thumping out of car stereos from South Central Los Angeles to Greenwich, Connecticut. The good doctor had helped launch gangsta rap and the West Coast sound with N.W.A., but it was this solo effort that brought those two terms into the national lexicon and made everybody sit up and take notice. In addition, The Chronic popularized the trend of sampling from George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic, which would be done over and over by various rappers throughout the decade. Oh, and it also helped launch the career of one Snoop Doggy Dogg, who has gone on to some small degree of popularity in his own right. All in a day's work for an O.G.

2. Beck - Odelay

While heavy guitar grunge rock was still at its peak, Beck decided to buck the trend and give us something bigger than anything we'd ever heard before. Combining rock with hip hop, country, blues, jazz and any other music style he could think of, he released Odelay in 1996. The first single, "Where It's At," showed us that not only wasn't Beck a one-hit wonder with "Loser," but that he understood what creates a truly musical experience. Mashing up funk, rap, soul and jazz within that one song, he set the tone for everything else we would hear (but not necessarily expect) from him. Listening to the album, we get seemingly simple songs ("Devil's Haircut," "Jack-Ass," "New Pollution") that suddenly twist and turn when you'd least expect, but still remain catchy enough to sing-a-along. Rock and roll was originally the combination of the different popular styles of music back in the fifties (bee-bop, rhythm and blues, jazz, soul, etc), and what Beck is doing here is just progressing that style further with the genres that have developed since them, perhaps creating the next step in rock music, paving the way for groups like Outkast and the Black Eyed Peas. Without Odelay, one has to wonder whether such music would exist today.

1. Nirvana - Nevermind

OK, yes, we know everyone names Nevermind the top album, but there's good reason. Nirvana revolutionized popular music when it released this album in 1991. Before Nevermind we were still headbanging to the glam-rock and Aquanet fumes left over from the 1980s. Before Nevermind, the top songs on the charts were "Ice, Ice, Baby," Bon Jovi's "Blaze of Glory" and Paula Abdul. Instead of songs about sexual metaphors using food or cars, we got poignant, pained, but true lyrics. Instead of spandex and complicated hair, we saw a ripped sweater and a t-shirt. Nirvana came around and pretty much said what a whole generation of teenagers were feeling/thinking, they make it OK not to be perfect, and they made it OK to wear the same flannel shirt every day. Sure, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was overplayed for months (maybe even years) on Top 40 stations, but every single track is astounding. From the haunting rage of "Something In The Way" to the softer "Polly" and even the humorous (well, kind of) "Lithium," Kurt Cobain's lyrics live on as classics over a decade after his death.
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 10:06 pm
 
Nightmares of the 1990s come flooding back. Counting Crowes ... Alanis ... Moby ....STTOOOOOOOOOOOOP ....
Posted: Jul 25, 2006 10:32 pm
 
matchbox twenty are so criminally underrated. They are almost the Double of the modern era.
Posted: Jul 26, 2006 12:13 am
 
I still have to digest the best...but the worst is pretty right on.
I just wish Moby and Billy Corgan would have been on the worst.
They don't deserve to exist...and what they did to/for music is unforgivable.
Posted: Jul 26, 2006 12:25 am
 
Great music, in fact. Like, um, maybe...ALL OF RAP

uh, no.
Posted: Jul 26, 2006 12:35 am | Edited by: Rachelandthecity
 
I agree that 19 out of those 50 albums are good...well, at least I own 19 out of those 50 albums.
Posted: Jul 26, 2006 12:42 am | Edited by: Mark Beef
 
the spin Doctors are geniuses

Two Princes is the song of the 20th century

Manowar isn't too shabby either

both knock the fuck outta Cryan Adams
Posted: Jul 26, 2006 12:52 am
 
The first list is no worse than the second one. Take Snoop and Dre out and it's better.
Posted: Jul 26, 2006 1:52 am
 
Actually, from what I understand it wasn't during the recording that he fucked up the line, but during a rehersal and then they kept it like that.
Posted: Jul 26, 2006 6:11 am
 
i don't agree with either list. i could think of a million more heinous albums than what they listed. i could think of a million better ones too. blender sucks it. i had a subscription i got for free from blender before and i loved to read through and laugh at it, but mostly just got it because i like free magazines to make collages out of.
Posted: Jul 26, 2006 8:45 am
 
Back to the worst list:

I'll just skip the best of efforts and intentions, race past the fleeting aspirations to relevance, and ignore the ugly truth of albums bought clandestinely and then forced to live in shame...
The names alone should suffice at this level of shame.

MONTE ROCK III

TERRY JACKS

CHILLIWACK (spelling?)

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY
Posted: Jul 26, 2006 12:31 pm
 
Color Me Badd are awesome, way better than anything on the 'best' list.
Posted: Jul 26, 2006 1:31 pm
 
Ryan Adams! Ryan Adams!!!!!!!!
Posted: Jul 27, 2006 2:22 am
 
7. Public Enemy - It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
very very good album, but the info is WRONG!!!
They (P.E.) did not appear in the crap fest Nothing but Trouble...that was Digital Undergound. The crackers that wrote the article need to get their facts straight...
P.E. didn't do anything stupid until they did the He Got Game soundtrack.
Posted: Jul 27, 2006 3:14 am
 
Yeah, I haven't seen that in awhile, but I can still tell you offf the top of my head it was the didital underground, with tupac dressed as Arsenio Hall.
Posted: Jul 27, 2006 4:05 am
 
Color Me Badd are awesome, way better than anything on the 'best' list.

Color You Gayy
Posted: Jul 27, 2006 7:15 am
 
Color You Gayy

hahahahahhahhahahahaha

Color You Lance Bass
Posted: Jul 27, 2006 10:59 am
 
ray contiff singers
Posted: May 12, 2019 7:58 pm
 
Rachelandthecity
Can it be true that following his (bestial) tour of New Zealand the late Frank Sinatra Jnr. changed the lyrics of his Godd father's standard ballad to: I've Got Ewe Under my Foreskin; which was subsequently (re) covered by both Neneh Cherry's & Nicole Kidman's jointly stretched hymen's over Throbbie Williams's massive ego on MTV?
Posted: Jun 7, 2019 4:55 pm
 
Saw Frank Jr. with a big band doing NOT his Dad's material and he was still better than KISS. Sorry.
Posted: Jun 11, 2019 2:25 pm
 
Jesse Garon:
Saw Frank Jr. with a big band doing NOT his Dad's material and he was still better than KISS. Sorry.

I didn't see that and can confirm it's better than KISS.
Posted: Jun 23, 2019 4:03 am
 
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